[Starlah]

Hi Everybody.
I'm new to the site, so I just want say hello and thanks for sharing all your stories.

I'm 21 and not yet "officially" diagnosed with PCOS. Though I seem to be able to diagnose myself from what I've read. I have bad skin, hair on my chin, the hair on my head is very thin, I wasn't menstruating until my Dr. put me on Aldactone, and I have a TON of extra weight.....
I am 5'3" and when I was at the Dr's January 17th I was 266lbs......Last time I was weighed about a year earlier I was 225!
I put on 40lbs I didn't even know about...I know you probably think I should have noticed my clothes weren't fitting, but I swear I'm in the exact same clothes I was in before!

I am really mad at myself about the weight gain, and so I'm making a conscious effort to get to the gym, and trying to cut back on carbs and sugar, but my biggest problem of all is self esteem. I just feel like crap. Who's attractive when they're 136lbs over weight, with a beard, and a balding head?
It's really tough for me to be in social situations....which only adds to the loneliness....
I know I'm not going to be able to lose weight until I deal with this...I already feel it. I keep thinking "What's the point? Even if I lose 136lbs I'll still have to pluck my chin twice a day, and I won't have any hair on my head when I go out to show off that new little black dress."
And I know it's going to be a struggle. I've been fat my whole life and started a million weight loss diets, plans, and programs. I have never lost even a single pound. And I just read all your posts about keeping weight off being harder than losing it....Oy! How can I ever hang in there?

I was just wondering if anybody can relate to any of my symptoms and can help with ways to battle the self-esteem problems I have because of them...How do you ladies feel good enough about yourselves to want to lose weight/get healthy?

[gottabeme]

Hi Starlah welcome even though I shouldn't say that since I haven't truly been on this site for quite sometime due to computer problems I know what you feel about weight gain(all my life) and skin problems. I am thankful I don't have the chin hair only slightly, so that is a blessing. Self esteeem issues are hard to deal with sometimes. Just being here and talking with others helps to get things rolling. I just joined a gym and truly I hate to think after work I have to go (because I'm usually so tired or lazy) but honestly it feels sooooo good when you come away thinking that you just got rid of some issues on the treadmill. You see if we choose to look in the mirror and think of ourselves as pcos and fat and maybe not being able to have children then that is all we see. If but for one time we look in that mirror and see a women who dispite lifes pitfalls chooses to see one good thing. Then it all becomes worth while. I don't really know if this helps but know that I am here to chat with and listen.

[RobinW]

Hey Starlah

Ive been battling those same ghosts for a very long time. The weight WILL come off when you find the right eating plan that works for you. As your clothes get looser you will start to come out of your shell and feel so much better about yourself.

I made hubby promise me that when my beard gets like his, that he will share his razor. But he draws the line at getting as bald as him......he'll get the wig magazines for me

Your going to continue to feel lonely unless you do something for yourself. Many of us share your pain and know exactly what your going thru. Ive been there, and I still have days I wonder what in the world hubby sees in me. But I get past it ....sometimes it takes me a couple days, but I do.

How do i feel good enough about myself to want to lose weight and get healthy? I dont want to look or feel like this anymore. Plain and simple. So Im fixing it. Its taking me a while.....but at 205 lbs, I feel sexy.

I hope this helps......try checking out some of the other forums ...there are so many great ppl here with so much support and knowledge to give.

I wish you the best
Robin

[Sweeterthenmost]

Starlah
U know there probably isn't a woman who belongs to this forum who can't relate to what u are saying in some way. And in many cases (like me) we can REALLY relate!

One thing I will tell u, please don't get discouraged and say "whats the use"...there are lots of good reasons to go ahead and loose the weight. There are many PCOS women who after they have experienced a significant weightloss, either:
1. notice that many of the symptoms u are now experiencing become much milder, or
2. some actually disappear!
now thats something to shoot for, yes? So if u loose the weight u may only have to pluck a few times a week....or maybe once a month!

IT sure does sound like u are PCOS...are u aware that many PCOS's are also insulin resistant? Also remember if u happen to be someone who is IR (insulin resistant) u are at HIGH risk for developing diabetes II?? That happend to me. I am 43 now, was diagnosed with D2 2 years ago and have been PCOS and IR since I was in my teens ( unbeknownst to me until the diabetes dx).

Thankgod that many of us who have come before u have opened the door for our younger "sisters" to get early diagnosis and treatment. MAny of us who went to our Docs 20, even 10 years ago with all these symptoms were told "Dear, loose all the excess weight and all ur problems will go away" Not always true..sometimes it takes meds and as anyone who is PCOS/IR knows loosing weight is the most difficult thing to do.

You need to make an appointment with a good Doctor in ur community and get tested for PCOS as soon as possible. With diagnosis and treatment many "cysters" live out very normal lives.

Remember there are lots of us out there...and lucky u, u have found where a lot of us hang out! Makes that "feeling so alone" feeling not so intense sometimes.....

Keep posting and read as much as u can on this condition...knowledge is power..
Take care
Pam

[jujubeee]

I hear you about the chin hair. I have said those same words "what good is it losing weight, I still can't show my hairy face". I have had chin and upper lip since my teens (now 40). I have thick black hair and white white skin. Even when I would remove it you could still see it under the skin. Mine was so bad I could never pluck it all. I had to wax it. I easily could have done it everyday but tried to go 2-3 days because it was so hard on my skin. Ever since I can remember I have always kept a hand over my face. I try not to be obvious, like I'm resting my face on my hand but I always have to keep something covering my lower face.
When Vaniqa first came out I raced to the DR and begged for it. He said he didn't believe in prescribing it until it was out for at least a year in case there were any problems. I went to two other Dr's and the 3rd one gave me a prescription. He warned me though that it does not work very well and I probably will not be happy.
It was expensive, about 70.00 for a tube but 1 tube lasted me almost 3 months. It says to give it a month but I saw a difference in a couple of weeks. Within 2 months the hair was gone. It has been over a year and I have plucked maybe 5 hairs total from there. No more waxcing!!!!! Now, I must say my upper lip isn't as good. The hair is much much finer and doesn't grow as fast so I still wax it about once a week to a week and half. I can no longer see the hair under the skin so it doesn't bother me.
You can't imagine how good it feels to not be ashamed to show your face. Yes it is still fat but that is ok.
I'm still struggling with the weight, I'm at 220 now but it is slow going. I urge you to give the Vaniqa a try.

[SolShine]

Oh, Starlah, my heart aches for you! I've been there....okay, I'm still there.

I gained 50 lbs. the first year and half I was married. I went on the Cabbage Soup Diet that everyone lost weight on. I gained 2 lbs. without cheating at all --- for two weeks!! My poor husband didn't know what to do or say. I went to a dr. who said I must be doing something wrong and put me on a 1000 calorie diet. My husband KNEW that was wrong, so we finally ended up at an Endocrinologist.

She immediately diagnosed me with PCOS and took blood work and found that my insulin levels were through the roof while my blood sugar was normal. On my way to being diabetic II. She put me on Glucophage and Sugar Busters right away. She also gave me a prescription for Vaniqa. My chin was always so red and scarred from picking at hairs, ingrown hairs and zits (probably because of my hands on my face all the time)

Vaniqua is AWESOME!!! I don't use it as often as I should so I still pluck more often than I would like, but I'm getting more consistent. (I'm trying to break the habit of always hiding my chin and neck when I talk to people.)

We're still working on the right dosages for my glucophage and I haven't lost much weight, but I haven't been able to exercise like I'd like. Surgery on my ankle soon will help with that, I hope.

Anyway, Starlah, you're on the right path!! That's a start! You have answers and a direction to move in. Make sure you have an Endo who is very familiar with PCOS and how to treat it. Follow their directions and you WILL see results. It can be discouraging because things tend to take longer for us for some reason, but things move.

I invite you to visit the SugarBusters Weekly Support board too. There's lots of good information there on that way of eating and incredible support to eat right and exercise. It's been a very strong source of support for me in so many ways (more than just diet).

Please let us know how you're doing and stay in touch with people who have information that can help you. There's a wealth of knowledge here and it's all free! I wish you the very best, Starlah!

[nine_years]

Starlah,

I totally understand how you feel. I'm 28 now, but I've had the hair growth problems since I was 18. I used to have nightmares about seeing the black hairs growing from my neck while I was looking in the mirror. It was so embarassing throughout college and trying to hide it in romances...!

I know it seems like the mountain is too hard to climb, but if it makes you feel any better- just one effort towards better health seems to allievate alot of symptoms. I see a reduction in the hair growth and in the amount of hair in my shower drain when I've had a good week of eating right, and I'm not talking perfection here.

Also, I go to an electrologist bi-weekly. I only can spend 15 minutes with her because it's all I can afford (it's $1 a minute), but I used to order pizza two and three times a WEEK in the past- which was far more expensive than $30 a month to have someone permanently remove the hair that embarasses me, ya know?

It does work too. It takes time and you have to go often before the folicles are finally killed, but it is worth it. It will really help with your self-esteem.

Also, has your doctor put you on Metformin or Glucophage? If not you should ask...because it will give you the upper hand in your dieting. It helped me with my cravings.

I hope some of that helps...don't feel badly, we've all been there. You should email me sometime and we can talk about more.