So, at the gym a few weeks ago- a lady who takes the same step class as me made a comment that really offended me. She asked me if I take Body Pump- I said, "No- not yet, although I may try soon". She then said, "Well you should- I lost weight from it. I used to look like you and now look at me!" ......I was so stunned I didn't know what to say! Luckily the class was just starting so I didn't have time to punch her lights out! I have lost 60 pounds and work very hard at the gym and in class every week- this was a huge punch in the gut to me! Besides, she wasn't even that thin- more apple shaped- round belly and skinny legs. In the end, though- I sort of "got the last laugh"- because that comment made me work that much harder in class. Also, she took the step right next to me, and as it turns out- she's completely lost in the class even though she feels like she's so much thinner than me. If I do say so myself, I kick butt in step- I have ALL the moves down and its fun to me. So how would you have handled it? Has anyone ever made such a comment to you?
I try to take the comment in the spirit it was given...instead of how things end up twisted in my own head. For instance, I asked a boyfriend if he found me attractive and he told me of course I was pretty and if I lost some weight I could be really hot. He didn't mean "YOU FAT FAT F**K, YOU ARE SO GROSS" but its what I heard.
Sounds to me like she wasn't trying to be rude or insult you, she was just tactless and a little dumb about how she went offering advice. It was unfortunate, yea, but I don't think it was an indictment of your AWESOME AND WILDLY IMPRESSIVE progress.
If someone says something with malice..I just get pissed because I'm hurt. And I try to think about how unhappy a human being that person must be to lash out like that.
I love step classes. My gym has been phasing them out
Ok, back to your question:
Sarcasm! I find it the best way to handle rude and unnecessary comments about anything. Usually people are too speechless to respond and that lets you walk away laughing.
Examples of some I've done:
Person: You're fat!
Me: OH MY GOSH. I HAD NO IDEA!! IS THAT WHY I DIDN'T FIT INTO A SIZE 0?
Person: *slinks away as people look*
Person: You're eating that? You'll gain the weight back!
Me: You mean eating fast food every day is BAD?? Why didn't anyone tell me?
Those are just the weight-related ones I can think of (I've had more witty ones, but I can't remember them right now). I'm kind of known for my mouth and always have been...just like in high school when my guidance counselors wanted me to apply for ivy league schools when I couldn't afford to. I asked them if they would pay my tuition.
*Looks the woman over* "Well, then that's a reason to avoid that class entirely. Thanks for the warning!"
Or
"Oh my! You must be so embarrassed that you just said that out loud!"
Truthfully, if you want to get away with being polite about it, you can simply say "You must be so proud of yourself." And then hasten to get away from them.
Last week at a funeral I heard a relative bragging (yes, bragging) about how thin she was and how good she looked. I reminded her that Karma was waiting and to be careful about saying things like that.
@tinneranne: THANKS! I hate sounding boastful about my weight loss, but I secretly think I'm pretty awesome too- haha! And I totally get where I probably heard the comment (even though it was still said without thought) as much more nasty than it was meant. I even asked a gym buddy about the lady though- she told me "shes always talking... mostly about herself... dont listen to her!"
@sontaikle: Those comebacks are hilarious! I havent really had anyone comment on what I'm eating or blatabtly call me fat, but if they did, the first thing they'd hear (after they regained conciousness) would be one of those comments! lol! That sucks that your gym doesn't do step class- I loooove it
My sil is one who used to brag about losing a ton of weight. The only problem was she smoked a lot and from a young age so she had those smokers wrinkles all around her mouth and her face and she looked a good 20-30 yrs older then her real age. One of the younger family members said, "wow you look great! How old are you? 60?" She was 45 at the time.
I'm hoping that she just really is bad at communicating her thoughts. I definitely agree she shouldn't have compared herself to you! That was really rude. She could've just said "You should definitely try class XYZ, it's helped me lose # number of pounds!".
Maybe she was just nervous (or excited?) and had a bit of verbal diarrhea? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt unless they consistently say stupid things like that.
tinneranne2,
I agree with you To To. I feel the woman wanted to help, but was not tactful enough. But, I find such people are genuine ones. If you befriend with her,
she will be a good helping friend. Once I called my Aunt in India and she asked me to reduce weight and reminded me how thin I was before my wedding 35 years back. I felt genuine concern in that voice and I started my WL journey. But, she was blunt and frank.
Haha, loving the sarcastic responses going on here! Perhaps we should make a thread about things to say to people who want to talk about how much we weigh/what we eat/how we exercise!!
lili, sometimes I am BAFFLED by the things people find it acceptable to say to other people! I'm glad you kicked her butt in class.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovely
"Oh my! You must be so embarrassed that you just said that out loud!"
LOVE THIS. Now I just need an opportunity to use it! I actually had something really odd happen to me at work yesterday; this kid said something to me about how I wouldn't be able to say "I do" at my wedding (for which there is not even a date yet, so I don't know why he brought it up), because I would probably have my mouth full of sandwich or have already "gotten into the cake." WHO SAYS THAT. I don't know any other way to take it than that he was calling me fat in a really oddly specific way. It was so weird, I almost had to laugh, but I wish I had come up with a witty response!
Some people really think they have to prove something to others. I once told a friend I run approximately 5 miles in the morning and she jumped up saying she uses her bike instead of a vehicle and makes 6 miles a day. needless to respond
Haha, loving the sarcastic responses going on here! Perhaps we should make a thread about things to say to people who want to talk about how much we weigh/what we eat/how we exercise!!
great idea (I'm usually just silent and ignore them)
Rude Comments- How do YOU handle them?
needless to respond 
