Weight Loss Surgery - here it is .....
01-27-2003, 06:56 PM
So now I am completely baffled. MY darling MIL thought it best to announce to the 'world' that I am having the surgery. I've been met with everything from support to EVERY single story about EVERY person that has ever DIED after the surgery. However, nobody seems to know WHY they died - whether or not it was a direct result of the surgery or something completely unrelated.
I'm struggling with this now. After I've completely made up my mind - now I am beginning to doubt my decision. I do not want to give up this journey - Ok I just got it. I have had a LONG time (2 years +) to contemplate this - and most of my family and friends have just found out. So ofcourse they are all praying that I will change my mind - because they didn't have time to go through the whole process and all of the different scenarios.
I mean they want to tell me all of the 'what ifs' and I just want to scream ... WHAT IF I HAVE THE SURGERY AND I LOSE 100 LBS AND I LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE HAPPY AND HEALTHY? WHAT IF I WALK OUTSIDE TOMORROW AND I AM STRUCK BY LIGHTENING?
Anybody else get these responses? I guess I am just emotional because the time is drawing near - and ofcourse if I didn't have any doubts at all I wouldn't care. This just plays on my fears. Ofcourse I don't want to die and leave two beautiful little girls and a wonderful hubby to face life without me - but if it is my time - it is my time. It won't matter if it is in the operating room or when I am tucked in safely at night - right?
I will feel better once the hurdle of the surgery is over and I'm sure so will everybody that loves me.
1 of our fat people
01-27-2003, 08:14 PM
You are exactly right! The good Lord will take you when HE wants you... not when you have surgery! We would be kind of lucky to die during surgery... I mean, no pain, right!? Think of all the hideous ways we could die...
gangrene complications from diabetes
being fallen on by a morbidly obese person...(haha)...
that would all be a direct result of this weight that we have!
I saw my PCP Friday and she made it perfectly clear for me... I might be fairly healthy now, despite my 285 lb body... but when I am older all of my health problems will be a direct result of being obese!
My mother is SO AGAINST me having surgery. She thinks that I just want to be thin and pretty. Now, it would be nice to be thin and pretty, but that is just a part of the picture. Don't let anyone get you down. Put all your faith in GOD... He will never leave you nor forsake you! And He will bring you HOME to HEAVEN whenever He wants you! Besides which, without God, doctors wouldn't even know how to do surgery!
Hang in there,
01-28-2003, 12:45 AM
patty is right.
and now for another bit of info. families HATE CHANGE!!! oh yes, they love us, and want the best for us, but when we change so dramatically, when we're no longer the 'fat one who is so jolly' or the 'one who can be counted on to take home the leftovers' or the 'baker' or the 'head chef,' things get very unsettled. no one is quite sure what the roles are or what they should be.
and they get scared. and their fear is NOT a reason to cancel the surgery. you will still be the same person, but you will have to handle stress without eating, and anger and all those other emotions, and if your family uses food for all that.. ANOTHER CHANGE
yes, you could die on the table, but as you pointed out, you could also be hit by lightning [although at this time of year, it's more likely to be a truck!]. BUT you're also giving your daughters the chance - the likelihood - of having a happy, healthy active MOM who can do things with them and who will be around much longer.
being 'pretty' is just the outside nonsense. we are still the beautiful courageous people we always were. the only thing that has changed is the packaging.
and you asked if anyone else had had these reactions in other people. i was almost dead. the choice was having this surgery or dying within a year. no exaggeration! so, everyone was supportive as they realized that this was my last chance.
and debk's family sat by her bed in the ICU afterwards hoping that she'd live... and she pulled through with a few miracles. you've got the two extremes right here.
01-28-2003, 06:57 AM
Oh my, MIL's :rolleyes: just kidding, mines a jewel.
I can't add much more to what has already been said, I just want you to know, and I know that you do know this. WLS is not an easy decision, many times you need to fight the insurance company and your well-meaning but uninformed family and friends.
Your family is scared for you and worried. It seems we/they only hear the negative. For some reason that is easier to absorb than all the good. And there is much good to be gained from wls.
I'm just rambling here........just want you to know you have our support.
Note to Patty.........I was just like you, overweight but healthy until I hit around 36. At 36......all He!! broke loose, diabetes, high blood pressure, knee problems.......wasn't a pretty sight. I'm so glad you are doing this before you have these complications of being obese.
01-28-2003, 08:02 PM
I told my mother and she told me not to do it.....that's ok, she won't remember anyway :rolleyes: I have been avoiding one person I told that I might look into it and one of my best friends hit the roof when I told her a few months ago. BUT now that I am progessing towards the surgery and she saw the reasons behind my decisions, she is very nearly darn....cooperative!
I stole this from another board and found that it gave me alot of strength. Perhaps it will do the same for you!
Alice came to a fork in the road and wasn't sure how to handle it. She asked the Cheshire Cat up in the tree what the cat thought she should do. The Cheshire Cat asked, "Where do you want to end up?" Alice said, " I'm not sure, I just don't want to be here anymore. " The Cheshire Cat said, "Well, then it doesn't matter which way you go then does it?"
You need to decide here and now where you are going to end up. Focus on that goal. When you get distracted focus once again. and again. and again.
Always choose faith over fear. Always.
Refuse to contemplate anything but how you want it to end up. Period.
You Focus on your actions, your decisions, your attitude and soon you will find yourself where you want to be.
01-29-2003, 12:37 AM
my goodness, you're getting wise in your old age peachie!!!! but why did you tell mom???? she can't even remember that i've had the surgery!!!! she truly believes that my weight loss is due to her lousy cooking!!!!
01-29-2003, 12:38 AM
oh, and for all of you who don't know.. apologies for that sisterly post. peachie and i are indeed real life sisters. and mom really is this way!!!
01-29-2003, 06:58 PM
Jiff, i am only wise enough to steal good stuff from another board....I did not write the bit about Alice, although I wish I had!
Your mother over heard our conversation the other evening at my house. She has darn good ears when she wants to!