Living Maintenance - Maintainers weekly chat September 5 - September 11




BillBlueEyes
09-05-2011, 02:55 PM
Good grief - it's Monday even if it's a holiday.

Welcome one and all to the acid reflux thread, LOL - so much better than being a heart condition thread. Glad you're home JayEll and healing - quite a scare you had.

Kudos clvquilts for your racing performance - great that you have a goal for next year.

Continuing to send supporting thought to saef and fitmom. May you find a way.


Mudpie
09-05-2011, 03:12 PM
Good day all! I'm enjoying (?) my last "vacation" weekend's last day. The next weekend I have off will be Canadian Thanksgiving in October.

I didn't even weigh myself today. It's been a disaster all 4 days. Not sure if I was celebrating :hat: or drowning my sorrows :(.

I even drank a bottle of wine last night and then had a good long heaving cry. :tantrum: Today I remember why I don't do the wine part any more :barf:.

Enough wallowing. Time to get back up on the darn horse and carry on. Others have much, much larger troubles than mine.

Good Monday all!

Dagmar :headache:

bargoo
09-05-2011, 03:13 PM
saef and fitmom, I totally understand how stressed you are. I am totally stressed out and I am moving from a relatively clean apartment to a newly renovated apartment. I am embarressed to be so stressed when you two and many others have so much more to deal with. Praying that all will go well for both of you.


JenMusic
09-05-2011, 05:17 PM
Thinking of saef, fitmom, Dagmar, and Jay! It seems like it was a difficult weekend for many.

I also went to see Casablanca on Friday night and LOVED it. Shannon, I wondered if you were there, but of course had no way of knowing. :) The movie was much funnier than I expected, and oh my word was Ingrid Bergman gorgeous! I'm ashamed at my lack of knowledge of classic/older movies (growing up, my dad subjected up to Westerns and war films, but not much else in B&W) so this was my first Humphrey Bogart movie, too. He was quite a charmer, huh? ;) Maybe I need to see if Netflix has The Maltese Falcon available for streaming.

Here's my medical report from Friday's visit to the endo: I do, indeed, have osteoporosis. My bone density average is actually on the border between osteopenia and osteoporosis, but the doc says that the bone loss in my spine is significant enough to just go ahead and say it's osteoporosis.

This was another emotional blow. Everything that's happened to me this year, health-wise, is related (renal tubular acidosis leading to kidney stones and osteoporosis) and it's all somewhat minor, but it adds up to me feeling somewhat depressed, and wondering what else is going to happen to me. I mean, I'm only 33! In my more overwhelmed moments, I have trouble imagining what I'll look like when I'm 50.

The logical, rational, optimistic part of me knows that this is serious but not life-threatening, and there are many silver linings to the clouds (starting medical insurance in January, before all this started, tops that list). But I'm not being logical right now. I'm actively choosing to wallow.

Whew, I do feel a little better now that I've vented a bit. Thanks for listening, all. And I hope everyone has a much better week than the last!

clvquilts
09-05-2011, 06:41 PM
Shannon - a list of fruits from the internet said I could eat sweet apples like Macintoshes, but not sour ones like Granny Smith's. When I went to the store, there weren't any Macs so I bought two that were Mac look a likes. But when I bit into one I found it tart. I still ate it to see what would happen and yes it gave me acid reflux. There's so much on my do not eat list. And I'm worried that continued reflux with harm my esophagus as well as my vocal chords permanently. So I'm really monitoring what I eat.

Some one told me that acid reflux is stress related and I've had a lot of stress since turning 50 this year. I had very early bladder cancer that was only caught because I was having trouble with my fibroid tumors. It took 4 months to get the diagnosis and then 2 months to 'cure' it. I go back in December to see if I'm still cancer free.

I won the Labor Day race series, but came in 2nd for the season by only 2 points. If I had won one more race, I would have won it all. So there's next year to shoot for. My racing skills really improved this year. and I'm excited about next year. There's still a lot of sailing for me all the way through to end of October. Wore my wet suit yesterday that usually makes everyone look fat because they are so tight. But people complemented me on how thin I looked.

It's taken all summer, but people are finally noticing I lost 36 pounds now that I've switch to my smaller clothes that are really shapely. I still have a little belly because my 3 fibroid tumors are so big that my gyno says they're the size of a 20 week pregnancy. Mostly they're pushing inward on my organs. So I'm going to have to do something about them after I'm finally on DH's insurance and not just Medicare. That will be in December.

Happy Labor Day.

alinnell
09-05-2011, 09:51 PM
Thinking good thoughts to all those suffering from loss, relationship issues and health related issues.

DH and I went to see Seven Days in Utopia this afternoon. While I had an inkling that it would be somewhat God-based, it wasn't preachy at all and was an enjoyable movie--whether or not you like golf. I'm hoping DH came away with some thoughts on life from the movie.

Then when we left the movie we had to walk up the stairs to the second level of the parking structure. Mind you, this is a fairly busy area. Right outside JC Penney, near one end of the mall, just outside the theater where there is little parking to begin with, so naturally people gravitate to the parking structure. And it's Labor Day weekend, so the stores at the mall are having huge sales (I know, I shopped!). So why on earth do the hoodlum kids think that the open stairwell is a "safe" place to hunker down and smoke weed? Seriously? This is the second time in two years that we've run across a group of them doing just that. First time we were on our way down. Six of us (including my kids) and about eight of them. They moved aside for us, but still. Stupid kids. This time, it was just me and DH and four of them. I probably wouldn't have gone up had I been alone, but with DH I wasn't afraid. Again they moved aside, but there was a single older woman trying to go down and obviously she needed to use the handrail, which was impossible due to two sitting on one side and two on the other. Once we passed, DH turned around and told the hoodlums to move aside and let the woman down easily. In their defense, they did, but I just don't get why they think this is such an "inconspicuous" place to do this. It's not. Especially on the weekends when people are going to the movies.

So it's 6 days and counting to our vacation. We purchased rain ponchos on Saturday as I understand we'll get 6 hours of rain each day and another few hours at night. I have bug spray with differing amounts of DEET. I have sunscreen--including that which can be sprayed on wet skin and still work. I have several swim suits with board shorts. DS is still working on securing a temporary parking pass at school, otherwise he'll drive to our office, park, walk a mile to school, and return after school. If he gets the temporary pass, he'll have a much easier time. Usually the school allows juniors and seniors parking passes, but due to construction, only seniors are eligible this year and last. Based on what he told me, it should be no problem for him to get a pass to park there for just a week.

Mudpie
09-06-2011, 06:51 AM
DH and I did a lot of walking and talking the last two days. We CAN still communicate but we need to remind ourselves to respect each other when doing so. Usually we are too busy trying to outtalk :blah: each other and not listening :listen: very well.

We made some joint decisions and agreed to compromise on some other issues. Unfortunately we have gone over much of this ground before and DH tends to forget :dizzy: his part of things. I can now remind him without him :tantrum: then getting mad.

I have decided to go see a therapist again. My resolve is getting shaky (drinking alcohol told me that) and I need an objective person to talk with. I also need to deal with my growing loneliness and disconnect from other people face-to-face (I have two wonderful online communities).

I have been thinking about this for a couple of years (yeah, there's a reason I'm sooo slooow to get things done - like getting to goal weight :p) but haven't been able to find the person I liked to see. I finally remembered the name of someone else I used to do group stuff with. I hope she's still around.

It's difficult getting anything done when you don't have a desk, computer, and telephone during the day.

I will figure it out.

Good Tuesday all!

Dagmar :badbat:

Megan1982
09-06-2011, 10:04 AM
Oh, another Monday. Oh wait, another Tuesday. I have a feeling it will be one of those weeks when I don't know what day it is. :dizzy: I think our rain from TS Lee is gone. A front followed it through and it's actually only 69 degrees outside right now. After this summer it feels like an arctic blast, lol. I'm ready for fall! I took Emma to the beach in the wind yesterday. She was tired out and let me get some computer work done the rest of the afternoon/evening while it rained outside. I'm doing some volunteer layouts for my theatre group. In other news I discovered my AC unit in the hall closet/recirculation room was leaking water around noon. BF said the drain was plugged up and cleaned it out with a shop vac (how does one learn this stuff? I had no idea - just saw water = bad). Now we're trying to dry out the carpet, which we could just pull out bc it's one small piece in the closet, and the wooden boards underneath that got pretty wet before I discovered the leak. Despite the leak I actually felt like I had a relaxing and somewhat productive long weekend. :)

Dagmar, glad you and DH were able to communicate about things. I hope this other therapist you remembered is still practicing. It sounds like a good idea for you to have someone there in person to air your stresses to. It is hard to get stuff done with no phone, internet etc. but not impossible! I often find myself in that situation, too with my field work.

Allison, maybe these kids think mall security is less to be frightened of than the police? Sounds like you're almost ready for vacation. Are you excited?

Carolyn, congrats on your Labor day win and second for the season! Sounds like fun!

Jen, sorry to hear about the ongoing medical issues. :hug: But don't get too upset or worried about the future - you really don't know what will happen. Just take life one condition and one treatment at a time. And keep enjoying the rest of life. Casablanca sounds fun! Now I need to see it...

Saef and Fitmom, I hope you're hanging in there.

paperclippy
09-06-2011, 10:17 AM
LOL Megan, I don't know what day it is either. Glad you got the leak fixed.

Talk about an arctic blast -- Saturday we had a high of 96, then yesterday a high of 66. This morning I went out for a bike ride and it was in the upper 40's. :brr: I'm pulling out my fall wardrobe.

Allison, I would call the cops on those kids to get them to move. Is there an anonymous tip line you could call? When I used to live in Providence one time I went to wait for the bus and there was a guy smoking weed at the bus stop. :shrug:

Dagmar, it sounds like seeing the therapist is a good idea. Let us know how it goes.

Carolyn, congrats on the races!

Bargoo, hope your move goes okay.

Hi Bill!

Jen, :hug: is there anything they can do about the osteoporosis?

Jay, Saef, Fitmom, how are you doing?

I had a good if expensive weekend. I had a coupon for White House Black Market for $10 off. Well, you guys probably remember that I said before I can't go into that store without spending $300. It's still true. Although to be fair after all the coupons and discounts my total came in closer to $200 but still. I got a nice pair of jeans (bought the size 4 although now I'm thinking maybe I should have tried a 2 -- talk about size inflation), a nice top, and a gorgeous dress which I am going to go post on the shopping thread. DH and I are going out for my birthday next weekend and I am going to wear it. At least, hopefully -- we're going to a performance put on by the city ballet of a bunch of nationally known dancers doing both ballet & modern, but I don't know what appropriate attire is.

In any case I also bought a pair of running shoes to wear while powerwalking, a reflective thingy to wear while biking, and another sweat wicking shirt for workouts. Got a lot of housekeeping done too.

alinnell
09-06-2011, 10:27 AM
Jessica~I doubt calling the police would have done any good. By the time we'd gotten to our car, they were walking toward theirs. Even mall security isn't an issue as they rarely venture outside. At least they weren't belligerent or threatening in any way.

Megan~yes, I am getting excited!

Last night we had a tremendous storm! Lightening knocked out power to the area around our office and we're not sure yet if it has been restored. DH is on his way in now and will let me know. DS and I sat out on our back patio for a while and watched and listened--it was quite spectacular. And exactly what I wished for! It was cloudy all day, our temperatures didn't even reach 100 let alone the 107 predicted. It rained a bit in the morning and a bit here and there during the day and I kept saying what we needed was a huge rain with thunder and lightening and I got it! It also knocked out the power to our front lights, but that may have been due to the rain. DH will have to fix that tonight.

saef
09-06-2011, 11:44 AM
I'm writing from the old mahogany desk in my mother's room, a desk that once belonged to my father's mother. I'll be living with my mother in Upstate New York while my apartment is demolished and renovated. (Which process has been further delayed, as the MetLife insurance adjuster had to fly back to Texas due to a family matter before he could get to his appointment to view my place, and he is going to be replaced by another, who's supposed to contact me in the next few days.)

Maybe I should be posting on the Twentysomethings thread, as some of my issues resemble theirs when they move back home during their summer breaks from college or after graduation, and have to readjust to parental controls after experiencing the freedom of running their own lives. I'm already hearing that mother doesn't like her refrigerator really full (as mine often is when, for example, I've bought a bunch of kale and lots of broccoli and other vegetables that take up space). And she eats completely differently from me, and her cupboards are full, so it's going to be hard to make space for my "weird special" foods (quinoa, whole wheat couscous, rolled oats, shelf-stabilized almond milk, almond butter & natural peanut butter, beans, lentils, etc.) and also she has nearly no spices and my spices took up four shelves in my cupboard, and I need to go out make an investment in spices.

After the operatic horror and devastation, and the physical effort of the messy salvage job, I'm left with this: Trying to deal with living with mom, and figuring out how to do my job from her house, and interacting with insurance adjusters and FEMA.

Lesson for today: All personal tragedy ends in bureaucracy, bills and family squabbles.

JayEll
09-06-2011, 11:50 AM
Hey paperclippy, I'm great. All a false alarm.

Jen, don't let the big word "osteoporosis" scare you. It is not a death sentence. I "have" it in my lumbar vertebrae, but the thing is, it's a definitional disease, which means, one day the docs sat down and drew a line on a chart and said, anything on this side is osteoporosis, and anything on the other side is not. Then some other docs said, what about people on the borderline? And they said, well, we'll call that something else. How about osteopenia? Great! They all agreed.

That doesn't mean that it's a trivial condition by any means. In my case, I have a feeling that if they had tested me as a teenager, I would have shown the same thing in my lumbar vertebrae. But the test didn't exist then.

(The reason I think that is because I had borderline rickets as a child. Don't know what my parents were thinking.)

So, one thing a person can do is make sure they are getting enough vitamin D. Most Americans do not get enough because so many now wear sunblock. Also, get enough calcium. I like to have magnesium along with it. Weight-bearing exercise is good, but it has to have a little impact to it as well. That doesn't mean take up running tomorrow, but something like a mini-trampoline or skipping rope on a cushioned surface or moderate jogging in place on a cushioned surface might be a good idea. Check with your doc!

I refuse to take bisphosphonates (e.g. Fosamax). Check out the adverse reactions on a reputable website to learn more.

Our power was out this morning, but the power company got it fixed promptly. One thing about Florida--the power companies are geared up to fix problems ASAP.

Jay

Shannon in ATL
09-06-2011, 11:56 AM
Good morning!

Jen - I looked for you at the movie Friday night, but we got there without much time to spare after working our way around the closed roads. We were the first people to sit up in the balcony once they opened it. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Ingrid Bergman is gorgeous, isn't she? And I'm sorry about the medical issues - is there anything they can to do slow the osteoporosis catching it so early?

Allison - I used to work at out restaurant located in a mall and we had groups of kids like that around, too. Mall security was less intimidating than the police.

Jessica - I love WHBM!

Megan - glad it was an easy fix on the AC!

Dagmar - glad that you and DH were able to talk this weekend. Seeing a therapist might not be a bad idea for you, good luck. :hug:

Saef - I hope that you and your mom can come to a peaceful coexistence during this. I know its hard to have to move back home, no matter what the circumstances.

Jay - glad that they got your power back on quickly.

I had a pretty good weekend, but didn't sleep well, so I'm tired today.

traveling michele
09-06-2011, 12:07 PM
Hi to everyone after the long weekend.
I'm at work and no time to really catch up, so a big general wave!

So jealous of you Allison. Costa Rica is one of those places on my bucket list. My dd went there in high school as a Spanish trip and loved it.

:hug: to you Saef. Good luck living with mom. Dh and I had to do it for a month after our house had pipes burst (all of our ceilings in the house fell down causing mass damage). I didn't get along with her at the time and it was very difficult.

Jen-- I think I mentioned that I also have osteopenia. I do take fosamax and have not had any adverse affects. My doctor says that she keeps you on it for a certain number of years and then takes you off for a year or two. The people that have had problems with it (breaks, fractures), have been on it for too many years without taking a break.

JayEll
09-06-2011, 12:08 PM
saef, we were posting at the same time! I'm glad you have found a place to land, even if it's inconvenient.

I've been trying to think of some Buddhist philosophy that might help you, while knowing that you will have to go through grieving the loss. I came across this explanation from a Buddhist master named Ajahn Chah. He was talking about a beautiful crystal glass and how he views it as a Buddhist:

"I love this glass. It holds water admirably. When the sun shines on it, it reflects the light beautifully. When I tap it, it has a lovely ring. Yet for me, this glass is already broken. When the wind knocks it over or my elbow knocks it off the shelf and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, 'Of course.' But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every minute with it is precious."

Goes beyond half-full or half-empty, doesn't it?

The idea is that the ordinary things of this world do not have an inherent, permanent reality--they are always going to change. This is simple observation. Knowing this, one may realize that since all the objects around us are impermanent, they are all the more precious while they are here. But one must also not become attached to them and try to cling to them, because they will indeed change. And so will we.

Jay

clvquilts
09-06-2011, 12:48 PM
Saef - I can send you a care package of spice now that I can't eat anything spicey. I have brand new containers of mild and hot curry, dry mustard, and a few other big no no's on my restricted diet for acid reflux.

I was supposed to be up at our sailboat in North Jersey today to take out a friend who's visiting NYC, but it's raining all day today. So I'm 2 hours away at home in South Jersey, hoping it won't rain tomorrow so I can drive up and take her out then. They're predicting 60% rain for tomorrow. And there's nothing worse then sailing a big boat in the rain. even with head to toe foul weather gear.

In two weeks we sail up Long Island Sound for our week long vacation. Shopping for food that I can eat, that doesn't need refrigeration is going to be a challenge. I'll have a cooler, and we'll have to dingy into towns along the way to get more ice. I see a lot of canned tuna and granola bars in my future!

Wearing my size 4 off white long pants and a shirt that shows my curves that I haven't worn since 2007.

traveling michele
09-06-2011, 01:55 PM
Cupcake dilemma!!!

So, I don't know about the rest of you, but I love to watch food network shows. Most of the time I can watch the decadent shows/food and just imagine eating it. I often feel I eat vicariously through other people!

So... one of my teacher friends has been posting pics on facebook of amazing looking cupcakes she's been baking. They look like they'd win on Cupcake Wars. She posted a black bottom cupcake yesterday (chocolate is my weakness) and I posted that it looked delicious. She just hand delivered one to me in the library. I should have kept my mouth shut! Now I've got the two voices going around in my head-- the angel and the devil-- you know the two! I had almost decided to eat it but I think I'm not going to. My weight was a little higher than I like it this morning due to Labor Day even though I was good and I have to officially weigh for Weight Watchers on Saturday. I think I'll try to bring it home for dd. *Maybe* I'll take a bite of it to try. WWYD? I almost feel guilty not eating it but that is what got my heavy in the first place (one of the reasons anyway).

alinnell
09-06-2011, 02:03 PM
Michele~take it home and share it tonight. That way you don't have to eat the whole thing. Part of a cupcake won't hurt too much.

clvquilts
09-06-2011, 02:58 PM
Mudpie - I know about loneliness. My DH works 2.5 hours away so he lives on our sailboat during the week and I only see him on the weekends down at the shore. The majority of my close friends are well over an hour drive away and I have only 2 friends in our immediate area.

So I spend a lot of time on the phone with my far flung friends. And have a very active art email group I'm involved in and I post on Facebook once a day.

I work from home on my art and as an editor of an art magazine, so I don't get to go to an office and see people face to face.

We don't have kids and we're not at home on the weekends so while we've lived here 18 years, we've never made roots in the community.

During the day when I can call my friends and be online, I'm usually ok. It's the nights that I get lonely with just the cat for company. So I try to go out dancing on Wednesday nights to be social.

Definitely talk to a therapist and define some goals to make yourself more social.

bargoo
09-06-2011, 06:06 PM
I have been online or on the phone all morning, arranging telephone,internet and cable I now have 3 different providers, after choosing one provider and finding that won't work they didn't offer HiSpeed at my new address, I ended up putting everything on AT&T , that way I will only have one bill.

JenMusic
09-06-2011, 08:40 PM
Thanks to all for the wisdom and advice regarding the osteoporosis diagnosis. Jay, thanks especially for making me look at it as simply one somewhat arbitrary metric. My doc has prescribed Fosomax (a bisphosphonate) and suggested that I research Forteo (a newer drug - it's a daily injectible that is essentially artificial parathyroid hormone). Well, after researching Forteo I am NOT going on that any time soon. Way too many side effects. And I haven't started the Fosomax yet because I want to discuss the side effects - specifically brittle bones - with my doctor again. She also has a "drug holiday" period Michele, but I'm so young I worry that these effects could accumulate over time. I still have a long life to lead, I hope.

I know there's tons of serious stuff going on in this thread, but what could be more important than this: What in the world did you do about the cupcake, Michele? :)

alinnell
09-06-2011, 10:25 PM
My Mom was on one of those bisphosphonates and she suffered tremendously. When they say you need to sit up after taking it, you REALLY do. She got a horrible esophageal ulcer from them. It made it terribly difficult to swallow anything other than liquid.

traveling michele
09-07-2011, 02:31 AM
My Mom was on one of those bisphosphonates and she suffered tremendously. When they say you need to sit up after taking it, you REALLY do. She got a horrible esophageal ulcer from them. It made it terribly difficult to swallow anything other than liquid.

I always take it Saturday morning after I've gotten out of bed. I make sure that I'm up and about before I take it.

traveling michele
09-07-2011, 02:33 AM
I know there's tons of serious stuff going on in this thread, but what could be more important than this: What in the world did you do about the cupcake, Michele? :)

I am fairly young, though not as young as you (44) so hopefully I have a long time left too.

As for the cupcake conundrum....
I proudly saved it during the day (by covering it with napkins so it wouldn't torture me). I then took it home and shared with dd. I only ate 1/4 or less. It was good and I didn't feel like I blew my day entirely. Now I can honestly tell me colleague that I loved it!

Cat puking-- gotta go!

Mudpie
09-07-2011, 06:54 AM
So after 4 days of eating and drinking off plan and 2 days of being back on I am at my red line weight. :dunno:

That is good news and I'll take it :goodscale:

My dad is back - he called last night but we didn't pick up - so the complaints will start rolling in as soon as he is a bit over his jet lag. I will stay calm and reply to everything with

"I did the best I could".

Good hump day all!

Dagmar :( :o :dizzy: :cool: (confusing emotions this week)

saef
09-07-2011, 07:00 AM
The idea is that the ordinary things of this world do not have an inherent, permanent reality--they are always going to change. This is simple observation. Knowing this, one may realize that since all the objects around us are impermanent, they are all the more precious while they are here. But one must also not become attached to them and try to cling to them, because they will indeed change. And so will we.

Ah, now I see where my troubles lie. I'm a failed Buddhist, Jay. Because I am drawn to old things, the stuff that has outlived its original owner by decades, even centuries. Things that are unchanging, and still carry some aura of the time in which they were made. What fascinates me is their seeming permanence and the comparative fragility and impermanence of a human life.

Rain, my newly made enemy, is falling hard this morning in Upstate New York. It looks like an all-day rain. I am sitting here in workout clothes about to go to the gym. I am struggling to assert some of my old routines in a new environment. I need to figure out how my days will be run, even if my planning is looser than what I was used to -- rather than just chucking all of my healthier habits out the window. I don't want to exercise, or plan, or deal with things. I'd really rather sit here looking through eBay obsessively with an eye to replacing everything I've lost. (After the initial exhilaration of purging unwanted stuff from my life, as well as profound grief over loss, I now really want to BUY STUFF, to get stuff back.)

I can feel a depression trying to descend on me, like a kind of net, and I'm struggling.

I would have had a lot of trouble with the cupcake that Michele veiled with a napkin and then carried home and shared. In this mood, no one else would be getting a crumb of that cupcake. And afterward I'd lick at and bite the cupcake paper frill that contained it, to get every last crumb or smear of icing.

This thread makes me want to get my skeleton checked out somehow. Everyone's bones seem to be melting away. I know it's a female thing. So all that milk that I drank for years ("Builds strong bones") or used as a delivery method for sweet cereal was a waste of calories?

And Jay, sorry, I've been self-involved, but I am very, very glad that your health issues turned out not to be heart-related, that your power came on and that you're with us in this thread.

JayEll
09-07-2011, 08:28 AM
Thanks, saef! I'm glad it turned out that way, too.

I have a new story about the world of modern Western medicine. The cardiologist wanted me to have a follow-up stress test "just to make sure." When I called the office, the scheduler said the dr had indicated a "nuclear stress test." Hmmm. I asked what "nuclear" meant. Well, it turns out to be a four-hour test during which you rest and exercise alternately while simultaneously having EKG, blood pressure readings, and imaging while a radioactive tracer is dripped into you via an IV. :yikes:

I said I did not want that. There is nothing wrong with me! All my other tests indicate no cardiac problems! The cardiologist himself pronounced it as being esophageal spasm! And on top of the inconvenience and invasive nature, the test costs $800-$1200! So I asked whether I could have the plain old exercise stress test instead, which takes half an hour and is only EKG and BP while on the treadmill. They will ask the dr and get back to me... If they never get back to me, fine.

Oh--here's a more amusing little tale. Because I was on the cardiac floor in the hospital, I was automatically on the cardiac diet, which is low salt, as in, none. By the next morning, my BP was 91/53. :yikes: I was tempted to call my SO and tell her to bring a salt shaker, stat! :lol:

Change of topic.

saef, the Japanese esthetic called wabi-sabi is derived from Buddhist ideals. Part of it is a reverence for old things, but also things that are rough, slightly assymetrical, and/or austere, with the beauty and serenity that comes from age. Wabi-sabi reflects the three simple realities that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

Final change of topic.

My bones aren't melting away. I have had two DEXA bone scans, about three years apart. Both showed the same thing--neither better nor worse. I'll continue to take calcium and vitamin D, get exercise, lift weights, do core exercises to improve balance (e.g., bosu ball).

Jay

traveling michele
09-07-2011, 11:30 AM
Hugs to you Saef. Don't let the depression get you down. When are you seeing or talking to your therapist?
Are you able to work from home? How far is it to your office?

Mudpie
09-07-2011, 05:25 PM
Jay wabi-sabi sounds a bit like contracting - nothing is square, nothing is plumb, nothing is straight . . . :p

So speaking of cats puking (as Michele was) Mudpie is going to town with being 15 years old. She is now defiance puking (and worse - we won't go there) whenever I don't do exactly as she wants. SIGH.

I can subdue 4 85-lb. dogs with a wave of my index finger and a hiss but an 11-lb. cat? Not likely. I now have major messes to clean up every day if Miss Murple doesn't get her dinner whenever she wants (yesterday it was 3:30 p.m.). Right now she is scratching the paint on the doorjamb to my office and screeching. Dinner time is 4:30 p.m. so I'll give it up in a minute.

I'm on board with ravaging the cupcake saef, even down to licking the ruffly paper. Soo frustrating dealing with an elderly frail animal. And now I have 2 - my dad's first complaints came rolling in today.

BLEAGHHH!

I will not eat tonite!

Dagmar :hyper:

JayEll
09-07-2011, 06:34 PM
Jay wabi-sabi sounds a bit like contracting - nothing is square, nothing is plumb, nothing is straight . . .

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Jay

JenMusic
09-07-2011, 06:48 PM
I would have had a lot of trouble with the cupcake that Michele veiled with a napkin and then carried home and shared. In this mood, no one else would be getting a crumb of that cupcake. And afterward I'd lick at and bite the cupcake paper frill that contained it, to get every last crumb or smear of icing.

This thread makes me want to get my skeleton checked out somehow. Everyone's bones seem to be melting away. I know it's a female thing. So all that milk that I drank for years ("Builds strong bones") or used as a delivery method for sweet cereal was a waste of calories?


I'm with you on the cupcake. The other day I was at Starbucks and had one of their chocolate/PB mini-cupcakes (190 calories). After I was done I furtively looked around the Starbucks, wondering if any customers would think it was weird if I scraped the paper liner with my teeth, as I have always done at home. Thankfully, I restrained myself. This time.

And, about the bone loss, my doctors are all telling me that mine is a direct result of my (recently diagnosed) renal tubular acidosis, where my blood's acid/base ratio was out of whack, causing my body to leech calcium from my bones. Perhaps without this underlying condition my bones could have stayed strong for decades.



I have a new story about the world of modern Western medicine. The cardiologist wanted me to have a follow-up stress test "just to make sure." When I called the office, the scheduler said the dr had indicated a "nuclear stress test." Hmmm. I asked what "nuclear" meant. Well, it turns out to be a four-hour test during which you rest and exercise alternately while simultaneously having EKG, blood pressure readings, and imaging while a radioactive tracer is dripped into you via an IV. :yikes:

I said I did not want that. There is nothing wrong with me! All my other tests indicate no cardiac problems! The cardiologist himself pronounced it as being esophageal spasm! And on top of the inconvenience and invasive nature, the test costs $800-$1200! So I asked whether I could have the plain old exercise stress test instead, which takes half an hour and is only EKG and BP while on the treadmill. They will ask the dr and get back to me... If they never get back to me, fine.

My bones aren't melting away. I have had two DEXA bone scans, about three years apart. Both showed the same thing--neither better nor worse. I'll continue to take calcium and vitamin D, get exercise, lift weights, do core exercises to improve balance (e.g., bosu ball).

Jay

I'm with you, Jay. While I know that in many, many ways modern Western medicine is a miracle, it does sometimes feel like docs are using a 20 pound sledgehammer when a small rubber mallet would do.

alinnell
09-07-2011, 07:15 PM
Ah, Dagmar! This morning, our new kitty woke me at 4 AM. First he stood on my head. Then chewed my hair. Then purred in my ear...before biting it! Then he bit the other ear and then my nose (drawing blood). Next he went over to DH, bit his ear and his chin. I guess he was hungry! I've been trying to figure out a better way of feeding the two of them--mainly concerned because the older cat doesn't seem to like ANY canned food I buy and I think he should eat it, so I did limit the dry food yesterday. I guess I limited it too much for a 19 week old kitten! Thankfully I don't have puke or other issues (yet). Dogs are a lot easier in this regard.

fitmom
09-07-2011, 07:48 PM
Well, this week has been absolutely horrible...still reeling from the news of my BIL terminal cancer. Wanted to scrap my exercise and diet and just drown myself in food sorrow. I didn't so I guess that's good. I'm so tired of being the frickin' cheerleader, you know? It's exhausting to always build someone up even if it's my little sis. That was always my mom's job but since her death, I've been handed the baton, so to speak. But I have young kids and they come first. I feel so torn. I want to help my sister but there's only so much I can do being an hour away and having two elementary school-aged kids. I don't know how much more bad news I can take. Since 2005 it's been one thing after another. I'm tired of trying to find the darn silver lining in everything. I'm just...done. DONE. DONE. DONE. Sorry to be such a downer but my life truly sucks. That. Is. All.

bargoo
09-07-2011, 09:43 PM
Sorry, fitmom but I've got to say it. If you think your life sucks, what do you think your sister in law thinks about her life ? And what about your BIL aside from being sick I'll bet he worries what will become of his family when he is gone.

JayEll
09-07-2011, 10:54 PM
Well, gosh, if you feel like you can't be the cheerleader, it's OK to put down those pom-poms for a bit. Really, it is! You can take care of yourself and your family's needs first before you help others--there is no harm, no foul in that.

Please take care!
Jay

EZMONEY
09-08-2011, 12:14 AM
FITMOM I can see it has been a real tough go for you as of late....

try to remember God doesn't ask you to do ALL things...

He just desires for you to do what you CAN do....

None of us can do all things....

Prayers for comfort and guidance.

traveling michele
09-08-2011, 01:51 AM
Hugs and prayers to you fitmom. So sorry you and your entire family have been through so much lately.
I'm sure you just wanted somewhere "anonymous" to vent.
More hugs!

saef
09-08-2011, 06:38 AM
Sounds to me like your gas tank is almost on empty, Fitmom.

You need to do something restorative this weekend. Can you & your kids get out & do something kind of fun together? Something that gives you a break from bleakness and intensity?

In the midst of death, it's okay to live. I learned that when my father was dying of cancer in 2008 and I moved back in with my parents to help care for him.

It's been a bad week for me, too, but I'm promising myself a pedicure this weekend, as well as a visit to check out a large local yoga studio. One thing is an immediate small physical pleasure, just for me. The other thing is a promise for the future, that I'm going to have other weeks, and that they're bound to be better than this one, at least according to the law of averages.

I'd say do something nice and seemingly "selfish" for yourself. (I'm putting quotes around selfish because it may feel that way, after all your caretaking, but it likely won't be.) But you mention feeling torn between your sister and your children, so I thought that you ought to face the conflicting demands head-on by hanging out solely with the kids in some fashion or another. Just make sure it's fun. In the beginning, it will feel like an attempt at fun, or like you're feigning normality, but if you go with it, after a while, you'll probably find yourself enjoying it.

Mudpie
09-08-2011, 06:39 AM
fitmom I'm with Jay. You can put down the pom poms. Your mom's death didn't automatically make you your sister's mom now. I'm sure you will support her in all the ways that you can but you have to take care of your family too. There are all sorts of support groups and organizations available to people with cancer and their families. Maybe you can hook your sister up with some of those, while explaining that you are not "abandoning" her but giving her access to additional support when you are not available?

And drowning yourself in food is good for a couple of days but then I think your body (if you listen to it) will demand that you go back to being healthy so that you can be strong for your own family.

My body is :cheer2: that I've gone back on plan. It hated being stuffed with junk food and alcohol.

Dagmar :hug:

Mudpie
09-08-2011, 06:57 AM
. . . You are so physically appealing :angel: that strangers stop their cars in the middle of the road, get out, run over and kiss and hug you, and then pop a delectable treat in your mouth. Life is good :D for someone so attractive yes?

Except he is scared :eek: enough when this happens to pee all over his feet. Little Vargas the golden retriever is now 4 months old and the scenario I've described above has happened 3 times this past week.

I'm encouraging him to be social with people he meets on the street (he's very undersocialized with strangers) but these ladies are :hyper: over the top!

My other little puppy is very sick :(. She is still eager to play and romp (what a great attitude toward life she already has!) but she's not eating and is vomiting :barf: and has diarrhea. Her owner left her out of the crate yesterday morning - ARRRGH! I thought she had chewed her way out of the crate at first (it's nylon and totally unsuitable for a labrador retriever) but no, she was left out because of the vomiting.

I hope she's going to the vet today (even if the resulting bill will end my employment) as she's already losing weight and becoming dehydrated.

This ends the puppy news bulletin for this morning.

Dagmar :lol:

Megan1982
09-08-2011, 11:46 AM
It feels like fall here and I love it! It will get warmer and we'll have more summer-like weather for the rest of September, but I'm enjoying this now. It is really amazing what a change in the weather can do for my mood. I went to yoga again last night and the regular instructor is back from her vacation, and I like her style (or maybe just the poses she picks?) a little better than her sub. I don't watch the clock like I have done in yoga classes of the past. I think I might even buy a yoga mat... hopefully it won't sit there along with my 5-lb dumbbells and resistance bands I rarely use (why I make myself go to the gym to work out - don't do it at home).

Dagmar, don't lots of puppies pee when they get scared/excited? I thought it was something most grew out of. I've known several labs that did it, especially when younger, Emma included but she's grown out of it. Sounds like a really cute dog! I hope the sick one does go to the vet and feels better soon. What, do lab puppies chew on stuff??? :D

Fitmom, you can't be strong for everyone! I think Dagmar made a good suggestion regarding finding a support group for your sis - additional support, as you can't possibly be her only support. If you take the time to take care of yourself you will take better care of everyone else, really. And we will try to be here to support you the best we can. :grouphug:

Saef, I painted my toenails and pumiced my feet last weekend, and last night at yoga as I stared at my pink toenails I thought of your yoga pedicure stories. The first week I went my feet were kind of dirty from a long day of field work and I felt so horrible! Tell us how the new yoga studio is, and enjoy the pedicure. It sounds like these are both things you need to help establish a new routine at your mother's.

Allison, ouch, playful kitty, huh?

I'm going to go back to work and take my calcium/vitamin D supplement now. Have a good day everyone.

clvquilts
09-08-2011, 01:52 PM
Megan - I can't stand to go to the gym with all the sweat all over the machines, so yesterday I bought a stabilizing ball and a medium resistance band and am on my 3rd day of strength training. I do sports for cardio because I just hate working out on machines. Last night I went West Coast Swing dancing for 2 hours and worked up a big sweat even though I was in a sundress and there were fans and cool air conditioning. Will go again on Friday night. Thanks for reminding me to take my calcium/vitamin D plus my daily vitamin pill. I usually forget to take it when I eat because I'm used to taking all my meds at 9 pm so I get to sleep at a decent hour.

Yesterday, I received the postcards and brochures for the 6 month exhibition I'll be having my artwork in at the Princeton Brain and Spine Care Institute. Yesterday, I mostly finished the second to last piece for the collection and today I'm going to do the final screen printing on the last piece before I take it to the sewing machine to give it texture.

To see my new work, google me - Carolyn Lee Vehslage and look at my Archaeology series. I'll be showing 7 brain pieces at the exhibition.

fitmom
09-08-2011, 02:01 PM
Sorry, fitmom but I've got to say it. If you think your life sucks, what do you think your sister in law thinks about her life ? And what about your BIL aside from being sick I'll bet he worries what will become of his family when he is gone.

There are other things going in my life that make me say that which I don't feel like disclosing on this site. And I do feel for my sister and BIL but I'm sick and tired of being the one to build everyone up. If that makes me a bad sister, then so be it. SO. BE. IT. I JUST CANNOT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fitmom
09-08-2011, 02:07 PM
FITMOM I can see it has been a real tough go for you as of late....

try to remember God doesn't ask you to do ALL things...

He just desires for you to do what you CAN do....

None of us can do all things....

Prayers for comfort and guidance.


Right now, I feel like God has completely abandoned me. I'm sorry but that's how I feel and I'm not going to apologize for feeling this way. I'm always trying to be positive and upbeat but I can't be that person right now. I don't know if I'll ever be that person again. My shoulders aren't as big as God thinks they are IMO. I'm really, really, really angry with the Lord right now and what he's allowing to happen is inhuman IMO. To take a man in the prime of his life and snuff him out while his kids are barely in school, just isn't right. It just isn't. Sorry but the Lord's on my s*it list. I'm normally a churchgoer and a practicing Catholic but I just can't go and worship someone who I have feelings of anger towards. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it. That's how I feel. Sorry for sounding like I'm lashing out but I'm about to implode from frustration.

Shannon in ATL
09-08-2011, 02:17 PM
fitmom - I'm so sorry about everything going on with you right now.

midwife
09-08-2011, 03:13 PM
I'm sorry, Fitmom. I think it's okay to be really angry and I think I would also feel completely overwhelmed if I were in your shoes. :hug: I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.

JayEll
09-08-2011, 03:19 PM
Fitmom, it is completely understandable that you are angry with God. Unanswered questions like the ones you ask are part of why I am now Buddhist. It just makes more sense to me. But I won't go further than that here--PM me if you want to know more.

Is there someone, anyone, in your daily life with whom you can speak about this? Does your community have a crisis hotline? Are respite services available? Yes, this is a crisis for you! You are entitled to seek help.

Please don't feel like you have to take care of everyone all by yourself, because that's not true. Reach out to others... You have resources, you just have to look for them and ask. And don't let your anger trick you into overeating--it really won't help!

Jay

fitmom
09-08-2011, 03:36 PM
@JayEll: Don't misunderstand me, I'm angry but not enough to change my religion, lol. I still love God...I'm just not liking what he's doing right now. I'm a certified mess these past few weeks - I'm just pissed off at the whole world at large. I think I'm entitled given what my family has personally been thru in the past six years. But I realize that I'm not the only one who's going through hardship so 'cry me a river' and all that.

@midwife: I don't think anyone can say anything to me right now to ease my pain. I wish I didn't feel this way. I hate feeling angry and pissed off but that's how I feel. I can't help my feelings, you know?

I don't care to talk about my feelings with strangers or in therapy...it's just not me. Never has been, never will be. I'll be fine, I think. What other choice do I have?!?

I just really, really, really miss my mom right now. She would know the right thing to say or do. Maybe I'll take a ride out to the gravesite later, it always helps to vent to her there. Sorry to be such a downer and/or morbid. I'm really never like this - it's just been such a trying few weeks. I feel so utterly helpless. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make this disappear but I've lived long enough to know that life doesn't work that way.

Megan1982
09-08-2011, 05:05 PM
Fitmom, I'm sorry for all that you're going through and what you and your family have had to deal with. I don't have the right thing to say. Just know I'm sending you a big cyber:hug:.

JayEll
09-08-2011, 05:21 PM
Don't misunderstand me, I'm angry but not enough to change my religion, lol.

That's good, fitmom. Perhaps your priest or others in your church could help?

I hope as time goes on you can feel better.

Jay

Mudpie
09-08-2011, 08:01 PM
:hug: to fitmom, saef and anyone else who is not doing so well right now. We are all here to :listen:. I would think we are all ok with your throwing a few of these as well :tantrum: if you feel like it.

I had a pretty good day. Teeny puppy was fine today. Most labs have "goat" stomachs and she seems to be in that camp. They get sick and recover so quickly at that young age. Golden puppy didn't get molested by any loud women today :lol:.

I got my 3 pairs of jeans from Eddie Bauer and they all fit reasonably well. I am taking them to be shortened (of course) on Saturday and then my fall wardrobe is pretty well complete.

And I finally figured out why the boyfriend jeans don't look they way they do in advertising on me (aside from my not being 6 feet tall and having long, long, thin legs). I have heavy muscular thighs and they fill out the pant legs. So the bottoms are baggy and the tops are baggy but the thighs of the jeans are snug. And I can't roll them because that makes my short legs look even shorter. But the 2 pairs I got look fine as ordinary straight leg jeans (I hope skinnies never, ever make a comeback and I am heartily sick of boot cut right now).

DH is calling from the grocery store again - gotta go.

Yes, he IS grocery shopping :p

Dagmar :dizzy:

EZMONEY
09-09-2011, 11:13 AM
FITMOM I appreciate your reply back to my post. Of course this thread is not for religious purposes but if you ever want to vent or look for support on "that" level feel free to join us in our Prayer Warriors or Christian Encouragers threads in Faith Based Groups.

Feel free to PM me an anytime! Continued prayers and also know the feelings you have, in your situation, are quite normal!

DAGMAR Your post cracked me up! Although my almost 8 yr. old Goldens get plenty of attention now, when out in public, it was incredible when they were puppies! But, of course, I have one that loves attention and one that is very shy!

traveling michele
09-09-2011, 11:31 AM
TGIF Maintainers!!

Wishing Saef and fitmom peace and tranquility this weekend, or as close to it as possible.

My classes in the library begin full force on Monday. So far I've only had the Kindergartners, but next week I start seeing all 1000 plus students. I'm madly trying to get ready with library cards, adopt-a-books, schedules, etc. Yesterday the front office said they had a few flip cameras for classes that wanted them. I'm usually last on the list but I emailed that I'd love one if there were any yet. There was one in my box this morning! Now I'm daydreaming how to use it-- reader's theater perhaps!


Today I'm meeting a fellow librarian for coffee today. She has painted murals in some of the schools and I'm going to chat with her about possibly doing it here. She often paints book covers. I'm trying to think of some classics that never go out of style-- I'd like to do three....I'm thinking Charlotte's Web, Winnie the Pooh, and ??? What else? What were your favorite childhood books?

This weekend for me....
Bikram yoga after work and sushi tonight.
Official Weight Watcher weigh in tomorrow and then breakfast with my Weight Watcher friend/leader. Then walk with dh to the farmer's market. Not sure about the rest of the day.
Sunday I work, and then we pick up our CSA, and then? Probably Bikram Yoga again....

What are your plans for the weekend?

I forgot to mention that my dd (age 20) got an appointment to see a specialist in Seattle for her Tourette's Syndrome. She is just miserable and I'm praying he can offer some help. Dh and I were hoping one of us could go with her, but he will be traveling and it is too difficult for me to go with our other dd, our pets, my work, etc. Dd says she'd prefer to go alone. She will drive there the night before and spend the night (she lives in Spokane). She'll go to the appointment and then drive back. Please keep her in your thoughts if you don't mind. She doesn't go for a couple of weeks but she is already so anxious about the appointment.

JenMusic
09-09-2011, 11:49 AM
For me, the week has ended better than it began, and I'm happy for it. Of course the same can't be said for us all and so I'm keeping y'all in my thoughts. Fitmom, I haven't been in your particular shoes but it must be a difficult situation and you (and your family) are in my prayers.

Dagmar, put me on the "short, sturdy legs" train as well! I have to get all my pants hemmed, and it's a pain, not to mention the cost can add up.

Hope everyone is having a safe Friday!

EZMONEY
09-09-2011, 12:07 PM
So many prayers to go out today....

adding Michele's daughter and Shannon/friends family to the list....

it has been a very tough few weeks for so many.....

Mudpie
09-09-2011, 08:03 PM
It was a beautiful day for me today. Gorgeous weather, co-operative dogs, etc. etc. :beach:

Then I went to see my dad. 4 minutes :mad: before we were at each other's throats. I stomped off his porch after calling him an ungrateful b*stard, which he is. I shook it off quite rapidly though and will not abuse my body with anything tonite.

He's 88. He can't last much longer.

God evening all. TGIF!!!

Dagmar :cool:

BillBlueEyes
09-11-2011, 07:36 AM
Waving on Sunday morning.

Saw the movie Invictus last night. Morgan Freeman was more Nelson Mandela than the man himself. He inspired me to want to play Rugby - despite wondering why half the team wasn't carried off the field on stretchers.

The most frequently quoted last stanza of the poem by the same name:It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Wiki is one source of all four stanza's and a list of places where you've heard it quoted: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invictus