Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - My Husband asked a very honest question: if he could snap his fingers ....




carys
08-27-2011, 11:08 PM
and make me thin ......how much would it change anything and would i be as happy as i think i should be being thin ......


anyone wanna chip in on this?

Its a very honest question that has really made me think!

since im feeling really low about my self image these days - im just trying to get a bit of a grasp on myself :)

xoox


JessLess
08-27-2011, 11:14 PM
How about if someone could snap their fingers and make me thin and fit? When I was at my heaviest, my biggest concern was mobility and stamina more than my weight or size. Also, would you stay thin, because I think maintenance will be as hard as dieting, after all, I have been thin before and regained. I think all it would do for me is save time, get me to goal 6-12 months earlier than I would on my own. And I, personally am also using that year to learn what works for me and establish good habits.

But all that being said, yes, if I could weigh 150 right now I would like that.

brillmama2
08-28-2011, 12:49 AM
I think happiness isn't soley found on the scale. It is hard to find sometimes, but being fit enuf to explore the options can't hurt. If I could snap my fingers I would just go the mile and never gained to start with.
I hope you get feeling better.


bellastarr
08-28-2011, 01:11 AM
i know being thin won't make all my problems go away (i was thin for like 3 months when i was 21 and then again for a few months at 27) and i still wasn't completely happy and carefree. but i know for me my weight is what i constantly think about so if i could snap my fingers and be thin it would be a huge burden not to have to deal with. of course being thin doesn't mean your life is perfect but it is one less issue to deal with.

SC Vitamin C
08-29-2011, 04:51 PM
Yes, it will make you happy in many ways of course. Let's not kid ourselves here. But once you are at your goal weight, or close to it, and you get comfortable with it and accept that you are not who you used to be in many ways, you realize you now have to maintain it for the rest of your life. Which, in my opinion these days, is much harder than losing it in the first place. I am constantly obsessed over how much I eat and exercise and every time the scale says I gained anything, I get a little low.

But it's all about balance. Being thinner will make you healthier and appreciate your body more and what it can do.

Aclai4067
08-29-2011, 05:00 PM
I think if someone could snap their finger and make me thin... initially I'd probably be about as ecstatic as if I'd won the lottery. Ultimately, I'd probably come to realize that some of my confidence issues extend beyond my weight. But it would still be pretty BA. Even if it was temporary, having the chance to feel what you're working toward, the differences in your fitness and how you carry yourself, would be such great motivation. *sigh* I'll have to settle for imagining it until I get there the hard way! Losing weight won't be a cure all, but I do think it will help with a lot.

tkdtara84
08-29-2011, 06:28 PM
In my experience, yes, it did make me happier. I was very close to my goal before getting pregnant and gaining about half what I had lost back. For about three months, I basically maintained a weight 10-15 lbs. from my goal (DH had just returned from Iraq, so routine and eating was off for a while, and it was difficult to follow my diet as well as I had been). I was quite happy at that weight-- happier than I had been in many months.

It doesn't fix all of your problems, of course-- if you have a crappy marriage, you'll still have a crappy marriage if you're thin, or if you have financial troubles, you'll still have them thin. Loved ones will still get sick or pass away.

I think the biggest factor in my "happiness" was that I was so much more confident in myself. That made my whole attitude much more positive. I'm not a negative person fat, but extra self-confidence and the feeling of being in control of food choices, etc. is pretty empowering. Food/weight issues is the biggest area of my life where I struggle with self-control. Losing weight made me feel as if I had conquered something and gave me more confidence to deal with other problems in my life. Of course, that empowerment might not happen if you don't earn it by doing the work to lose it.

And yes, maintenance will be a whole other battle. I'm trying to prep myself much more for it this time-- reading books, lurking on the maintenance forum. I plan to have another child, and I refuse to let myself eat and gain too much like I did last time.

bargoo
08-29-2011, 06:30 PM
When I was overweight I couldn't climb stairs without resting between each 2 steps.My blood pressure was sky high, my cholesteral was off the charts
my doctor warned me about possible strokes. Looking better and wearing more attractive clothes was just a bonus to the improvement in my health.

Thighs Be Gone
08-29-2011, 06:43 PM
Losing weight has changed what I want to be doing and ultimately how I see myself and others see me. I completely agree withbargoo in that the changes I have made for my body has resulted in a pleasant bonus as well--feeling good in clothes again. I personally wouldn't want anyone to snap their fingers to make me anything. I learn so much each and every day of my journey--about nutrition, exercise and myself.

MiniMeee
08-30-2011, 01:10 PM
Part of the process is the journey. If he snapped his fingers and *poof* you were thin, you would have other issues to deal with. First, your self image would change so dramatically, that your brain would not be able to catch up. You would look in the mirror and still see a heavy person. The self image has a memory. It takes time for your brain to change. You would not have changed your habits, or gotten stronger mentally to deal with all of those times you are tempted to overeat. All of the reasons you got heavy in the first place, would still be there in your head and your heart. You would be treated differently EVERYWHERE. This would confuse you. Are people being nice, just because, or because I am thin. Happier? Yes, maybe. But then again, maybe not.

k8yk
08-30-2011, 02:20 PM
Be thankful it takes a long time. This is YOUR time to grow and learn, to get used to your body as it changes.

If someone snapped their fingers and made you thin, you might be imagining a perfect body. This is not what you will end up with. Your body will never be perfect, especially if you have been very overweight. Stretch marks, loose skin, cellulite, etc... there are many "imperfections" that are permanent. Even surgery cannot erase your personal history. Learning to love yourself and be happy with yourself despite flaws is imperative, and it comes from within from a long process of self-learning. Losing weight does help with confidence. But for me, I think this is more about feeling good about the success I made for myself than it is the result. When you can look back and say I DID IT! I worked hard and I DID IT! This will give you more of a feeling of happiness and contentment than anything else. The process is so much more important than the end.

Aileen
09-05-2011, 08:00 PM
Let him snap his fingers!

If someone said you can have a million dollars or you can weigh 110lbs-I'd take the 110lbs.

brillmama2
09-05-2011, 08:46 PM
I would take the money! You can suck out and cut off a lot of stuff with a million dollars!!

puneri
09-05-2011, 10:47 PM
I do not know about you, but he will be unhappy as you will be loosing your butts.

rachel1985
09-05-2011, 11:31 PM
I don't think I'd do it. More because the process of losing the weight also teaches us healthy habits and we appreciate every pound gone because we worked for it.
If it were just a finger snap, we wouldn't be learning anything, and there is a higher possibility that we would slip back into those nasty eating habits that got us here in the first place.

sept15lija
09-07-2011, 10:48 PM
Losing weight has changed what I want to be doing and ultimately how I see myself and others see me. I completely agree withbargoo in that the changes I have made for my body has resulted in a pleasant bonus as well--feeling good in clothes again. I personally wouldn't want anyone to snap their fingers to make me anything. I learn so much each and every day of my journey--about nutrition, exercise and myself.

I completely agree with this! Yes even though I've lost the weight, I still have issues and struggle with different things, but as another poster put it, it's one less thing to deal with. Being a healthy weight just makes a lot of things so much easier.

GillW23
09-12-2011, 03:28 PM
Good question... I think most of us believe if only we were thin it would solve everything- however, I asked my mum this question and cannot believe the answer- she said maybe you would be married by now!!! I was shocked I am only 23 just went into business for myself and have never had any trouble in the man department! Even tho my mum knows me very well she still said this I quickly assured her this was not my main goal in life ( not that I see it as a hindrance etc it's just not for me yet or not met the right one to marry) so out of shock I sent this answer from my mum to my best friend in a sarcastic tone.... She replied

" your life would be the same regardless what the scales said. If you woke up a size 10 tomorrow you'd be very disappointed to find men are still dick heads, everything costs a fortune and all the good stuff is bad for you"

Thought it was a good answer but deep down I cannot help believe me being thing would make everything more amazing! But maybe something to think about

luckymommy
09-12-2011, 07:42 PM
I would take the money! You can suck out and cut off a lot of stuff with a million dollars!!

If that were true, then Oprah would be forever thin. ;) I'd take the money though because I feel that learning how to lose weight has trained me better for maintaining the loss (since maintaining and losing aren't all that different...which I've learned the hard way with years of yo-yoing).

If you had asked me at my highest weight would I take the money or the loss at a snap of a finger, I'd definitely take the weight loss just because I couldn't wait to get to my goal.

It hasn't eliminated many of my problems....chronic daily migraines (that make me beyond miserable at times), a child with a special needs, etc......), but now, I feel that I can tolerate it all and even be happy overall thanks to how I feel and look. I felt the fat was stifling my personality and it wasn't who I felt I was on the inside. Finally I now feel that my outside matches my inside. It's a great question he asks, but I won't lie and say that being thinner hasn't made a difference. It has made a world of difference for me in my life.

Martina
09-12-2011, 10:49 PM
I think happiness needs to start with the person as they are, no matter what the situation is. You need to be happy NOW, as a person, before you can be happy thin. Its just like relationships. They can't, and shouldn't be the thing that makes you happy. You need to be happy with you first before you can share happiness with another.

SmooVeshea
01-03-2012, 02:54 AM
The journey is the most important part because it allows you to realize different things about yourself like inner strength

CherryQuinn
01-08-2012, 11:04 PM
mannn if someone could snap their fingers and voila im 135 lbs of lean fitness still with a decent size chest, id do it, then id strip down naked and run dancing in the streets.

astrophe
01-09-2012, 02:10 AM
Hrm. Well, I'd enjoy it! I don't esp enjoy being at a high weight. There's some physical mobility I'd like BACK!

But as far as happiness -- I'm already happy. I have a nice life, I have a happy home, I like me, etc.

I don't think being slimmer would change any of that.

A.

shellofself
01-11-2012, 01:01 PM
Part of the process is the journey. If he snapped his fingers and *poof* you were thin, you would have other issues to deal with.

Agreed! While, I admittingly (on first-glance) would want to be able to have that magic fix, there's something to be said about the "journey".
But, I also feel like the whole concept of self-perception and happiness would be affected REGARDLESS of whether we had a *poof: it's gone* or did it through hard work.

Dawny
05-13-2012, 12:01 AM
.................................................. ................
and make me thin ......how much would it change anything and would i be as happy as i think i should be being thin ......


anyone wanna chip in on this?

Its a very honest question that has really made me think!

since im feeling really low about my self image these days - im just trying to get a bit of a grasp on myself :)

xoox