Exercise! - Exercising with people you know?
08-26-2011, 08:15 AM
As part of my university course, i have to go on placement soon in a different town. Im going to join a gym there, but ive got a bit of a dilemma.
The gym closest to the accommodation is also one which my fellow students will use ... the fit type, that probably wont break a sweat. Im apprehensive about joining this one because im self concious, i dont want anyone to KNOW im trying to lose weight, im a private person, im doing this for myself, and to be honest, it would be mortifying for me to have them see me sweating and out of breath. However, its close - so its convenient.
There is a gym further away, but its a lot further away, and so not as convenient, im afraid if i join this one, there'll just be more excuses for me to find to not go.
basically - did/does anyone else want to keep their lifestyle change/weight loss attempt private?? which gym should i pick ?
your advice is appreciated! im completely new to this
08-26-2011, 08:23 AM
I don't think what I say will be helpful, but I will say it in any case - when I was self-conscious, it didn't help - "Stop worrying about people think." Somewhere along the line (I like to believe turning 40 helped ;) ) I just stopped caring what people think/say. It is very liberating. That's for the negative part being between people you know. The positive part of it is, people you know can be very supportive. All that positive reinforcement can work wonders for you self-image.
For what it's worth. ;)
I have always gone to my university gym and have only on the very rarest of occasions seen anyone I know there. Even then, we just like wave at each other from a distance because we're both involved in our workouts. Don't worry about something that might not even become a problem!
08-26-2011, 09:21 AM
I have to say that when I was younger I was very self-conscious and constantly worried about what others thought of me. But being 39 has its advantages, lol. At my stage in life, the only opinion I really value is mine, my DH and two DS's. Other than that, I don't really care what people's opinions are of me. That way of thinking is actually very liberating. I say, do what you want and just know that you're on your way to a brand-new life. Naysayers be damned! :p
08-26-2011, 09:23 AM
It actually helped me to go to the gym at my school that everyone went to, because they would notice if I stopped going (small school). I also doubt that anyone at the gym will be paying too much attention to the other people working out, their probably more concerned about looking sweaty themselves.
08-26-2011, 10:17 AM
I think there is a big difference between keeping your weight loss private (as in not volunteering any information or discussing it with others) and keeping it a secret. I find going out of your way to keep it a secret is just too difficult and has led me to failure in the past, because you're trying too hard not to "get caught." In retrospect, it's kind of rediculous. Just because they see you at the gym, does not invite them into the "are you losing weight/how/why/etc" conversation. And if they seem to think it does, just shut down the conversation.
Personally, I haven't had anyone bring up my weight/weightloss unless I have discussed it with them previously. Most people know better than to invite themselves into that conversation.
As far as them seeing you sweating and out of breath, what's more embarassing: them seeing to work hard or them thinking you do nothing? They're busy with their own workouts. They may notice you, but they aren't focused on you. If they think anything of it at all, they probably just think that it's good that your working at it. People who are already fit place a high value on fitness and are typically very welcoming and encouraging of newcomers.
08-26-2011, 10:40 AM
thanks everyone, i tend to over analyse and over think these things and lose sight of whats important. I dont want to keep it a secret so much as keep it private ... i guess im looking to avoid other peoples' judgements.
ive decided to just go to the one thats close, if i see anyone there i dont want to talk to - ill pull my hoody up :D
thats taken a load off my mind! thank you :)
08-26-2011, 11:54 AM
it would be mortifying for me to have them see me sweating and out of breath.
Just wanted to add that being a breathless, sweaty mess is always a good thing in my book! Sweating means you're WORKING- wear your sweat proudly, girl! I'm in pretty decent shape and I literally drip sweat when I work out... and you know what? I love it!!!
Good for you for joining the closer gym! You never know, your fears/insecurities might diminish over time. I used to exercise secretly (I'd do DVD's at home only when I had the house to myself so no one would know) and now, you can't keep me out of the gym!
Have fun! :carrot:
08-26-2011, 12:32 PM
Just wanted to add that being a breathless, sweaty mess is always a good thing in my book! Sweating means you're WORKING- wear your sweat proudly, girl!
This! Sweating and panting is what happens in gyms! Don't let all the thin people claim that joy for themselves alone. :)
08-26-2011, 01:45 PM
Sigh, I had a nice reply typed out and my computer ate it...
However, I agree that the close gym sounds like the better option. Here's the thing, it's pretty easy to avoid just one person at a gym if it really bothers you. After going there regularly for about a week or so you can probably figure out this person's schedule and roughly know when they'll be there and just come at a different time! If they do show up just go to a different part of the gym.
BTW, I was also nervous when I first started going to my gym and I was BY FAR the biggest woman there. Not anymore, though, because I kept going despite my insecurities. At first I would pick the bike towards the back of the room and stick to this little stretching area that was walled off from most of the other people. Eventually I got over my fear and just dug right in. NOBODY CARED.
That's the biggest thing, I was the one with the insecurities and if anybody did care they aren't the kind of person that I'd want to associate with in the first place. ;) Now I'm no longer the biggest woman there and I love seeing ladies bigger than me work out because that means they are doing something for there health! Gyms are a place to make people healthy and the reason you might not see too many overweight people there is because if they keep going and make changes in their eating patterns too they probably won't stay overweight for long! :D
If you still feel a bit unsure of yourself, why not join some classes to start with so you can get a feel for the place and you might even meet a lot of people who are supportive of your weight loss journey. They might have even BTDT themselves!
Oh, and I agree with others. Anybody you know from school is going to know your size already. It doesn't matter if your huffing and puffing too because they'll see you working hard trying to change your body. That's a great thing!
ETA: oh, and even at my very skinniest when I was a HS/college athlete I always sweated A LOT!!!! My weight/athletic status had absolutely nothing to do with how much I would sweat! :lol:
08-26-2011, 01:59 PM
i guess im looking to avoid other peoples' judgements.
I hate to break this to you, but this^^ is impossible. Take this from one who also tends to overanalyze life: There are many, many people out there who are looking for a reason to judge others. Who gives a crap about those people? I don't want to interact with them anyway. In fact, I feel sorry for them sometimes because of it. However, there are many other people who will inwardly applaud you for your efforts. I was just visiting my sister in another state and went to her gym with her. She goes to a gym that doubles as a physical therapy location, so there were many elderly, overweight people there working out. Not only did I not look at them disparingly, but I was inwardly thinking, "You go!!"
Also, I find that most people are so busy going on with their own lives that they don't have the time or interest to focus on me, so I'll bet the same applies to the people you'll see at your gym.
I would definitely suggest choosing the convenient gym. One effective way to conquer your fears is to face them.
08-26-2011, 02:25 PM
Awesome job picking the closer gym! I was nervous to run on my road bc I was scared my husband's mom or grandma (we all live down the same road) would see me and tell everyone how stupid I looked. I know- it's a ridiculous thought. Anyway, they did see me. And they were very supportive and made me feel great about my efforts. Of course once I got a few consecutive wks under my belt, you couldn't have stopped me anyway!!!
I actually went to a new park to run today and passed many skinny, thin ladies who were walking. You may be bigger than they are, but who's to say you won't work harder than them? I make it a goal to go harder than anyone around me. Why? Partially bc I'm stupid, partially bc I'm just that competitive when it comes to that. Something I never realized til I got some of the fat off myself!!!! :D