General chatter - Nervous! First day of class!




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XLMuffnTop
08-25-2011, 04:13 PM
I am extremely nervous over my first day of classes. This is my first face to face college course in YEARS after dropping out. I might not feel so anxious if it were say an English class where everyone works independently and there are right and wrong answers and you don't have to explain everything. But this is a studio art class so I have to present my work with explanation for critique for all to see.

I guess my insecurities are creeping up. Some are related to feeling the need to do everything perfectly or not at all. I've quit many things in my life that I enjoyed because of that. I constantly compare myself to others' abilities and get very down because I don't feel they're up to par.

Then I worry about being judged for my weight and appearance (as so many of us have before). This is a freshman class so I'm sure most will be 18 year olds. After being married with two kids, things just aren't like they used to be! ;)

I know it's silly but I just can't help thinking these things. I'm trying my best not to psyche myself out because this is something I want so bad. I, and my family, am making a lot of sacrifices to make this possible so I don't have to continue in a field that makes me want to pull my hair out from frustration and/or boredom.

I just had to get that off of my chest. If you made it through, thanks for "listening." :D


kelly315
08-25-2011, 04:39 PM
The thing to remember about college is that most people are extraordinarily self-absorbed. Not that this is a bad thing- most of them are just getting used to having freedom and getting to know who they will be as adults. But most of them pay very little attention to the people around them, except to wonder if how they look to them!

I've found that I actually feel judged a little less in class than I do in other life situations. This is especially true if you go to a big school, where there is a very high level of anonymity.

PreciousMissy
08-25-2011, 05:26 PM
Good for you!!! I am in my 2nd year of college but still considered a freshman because I'm going part-time.

So far it's all been online, but one day I will have to go into classes again.

I honestly thought that my classes would be full of 18yr old kids (I'm far from haha) but they were full of 30-something adults who realized what they missed out on.

You're going to do wonderful! Do not give up! I can't wait to hear how your first day went!


tuende
08-26-2011, 12:37 PM
I think it is AWESOME that you are going back to school and are making choices to take your life in a more fulfilling direction. That, my friend, takes some serious guts!

As a teacher, I feel like I want to tell you what I tell my fourth graders... that we're all learners, we're all working on things, we all have so much to learn from each other! Everytime you feel scared of something, it's a chance for you to learn and grow. I always ask them why it's OK- or even important- to make mistakes and you should hear their earnest, 10 year old answers! We then finish by saying in unison "I love to make mistakes!" They think I'm nuts, but it gets them to loosen up ;).

Have an WONDERFUL first day! Let us know how it goes!

dragonwoman64
08-26-2011, 01:25 PM
when I was in college, close to 30 years ago, there was a woman with a teenage daughter going back to get/finish her bachelors. I remember being impressed by her. She was more focused because she knew what she wanted and was more mature. She ended up going to graduate school. When I think back on that, I still admire her.

I audited a class at a local university bec I was considering going back to school, and a student approached me and told me she admired me. How nice is that?? I imagine these days there are more adults going back to college as well. I think being around the younger kids might perk up your spirits (I think it would for me), and your life experience is going to serve you well. Have fun!!

XLMuffnTop
08-26-2011, 01:29 PM
Everything went pretty smooth. I still feel kinda fat and awkward but that's just my own hang ups. There are very few actual Art majors in my drawing class; I think it's me and a few others. Most are interior/fashion design and a few random majors like finance and mechanical engineering.

I had another class this morning which should be a breeze. Thankfully it's not a class where I necessarily have to be critiqued but they will see my work. I feel much more able in this class as it's more digital work than a hands on type art.

I guess I just had really bad memories from the first time I was in college. I was in a similar class and they never explained your skill level isn't the end all be all! I just felt so inferior. Then I passed out in class and hit my head TWICE on the way down and have to leave my ambulance. I was mortified and think I went one more class before withdrawing. Now I have a great support system (my husband) who encourages me. He knows what he's talking about since he's been through all these classes already.

Thanks for the support everyone!

XLMuffnTop
08-26-2011, 01:38 PM
when I was in college, close to 30 years ago, there was a woman with a teenage daughter going back to get/finish her bachelors. I remember being impressed by her. She was more focused because she knew what she wanted and was more mature. She ended up going to graduate school. When I think back on that, I still admire her.

I audited a class at a local university bec I was considering going back to school, and a student approached me and told me she admired me. How nice is that?? I imagine these days there are more adults going back to college as well. I think being around the younger kids might perk up your spirits (I think it would for me), and your life experience is going to serve you well. Have fun!!

I must admit I probably made myself sound older than I actually am. I'm only 28 so the others are maybe 8 - 10 years younger than me. But in life experiences it seems like we're worlds apart given I work full time, have a mortgage, husband, two kids, etc.

My husband went back at the age of 36. He'd been married, divorced, in the military, traveled around the world, well read, educated (not degree'd). If I and the others are worlds apart, he's in another universe compared to them! :D

PreciousMissy
08-26-2011, 05:50 PM
I tried to go to school when I was 19...I was unfocused. Now I'm more focused than ever. I'm actually glad I stopped going back then. I know I wouldn't have finished and would have been stuck with a mound of debt. Now I'm old enough to know better than to quit. I'd have a mound of debt and nothing to show for it hahaha!