Weight Loss Support - I've found my problem! My husband is hazardous to my health!

Rock Chalk Chick
08-24-2011, 02:26 PM
I've been wrestling with my weight for my entire life. Plus, I'm a data junkie, so I've been documenting my weight for far too long... long enough to have almost a decade of data - sometimes weekly weigh-ins, sometimes months without record, but enough to see an overall (ugly) trend!

This sucker spans from my 20th birthday (2002) through my 30th (next spring). It's interesting to notice the shifts and jumps, and realize how they line up with stressful events.

Summer of '03 - graduated college/moved/started grad school (gain 10 pounds)

Winter of '04/05 - comprehensive exams (another 10 pounds).

'06-'07 - moderately successful dieting.

About 4 years of my life where I fluctuated around the same 10 pounds. Then my (now) husband and I got engaged and moved in together - oops!

First year living together - 40 pounds!
Concerted effort to lose before the wedding, and basically plateau'd.
First year of marriage - another 30 pounds!
Had a baby - lost 20! Greatest diet I've ever been on!

Now I've gained 40 pounds in the 10 months of my daughter's life. Between nursing hunger and short nights and busy days, I've had my hands full... but I'm ready to change things up before I'm worse off than I already am!

However, I find it both amazing and horrifying that I've allowed my husband to have such an effect on my lifestyle!

08-24-2011, 02:29 PM
I am a complete data junkie too and this graph is AWESOME! Mine are only for three months at a time and spaced pretty far apart.

08-24-2011, 02:43 PM
I gained weight with marriage and kids, too. I had noticed at college that many of my friends gained a lot of weight after acquiring a significant other. I think the reasons can differ - the DH may cause stress or may cause complacency - but it does seem to be a common problem.

08-24-2011, 02:49 PM
The problem with marriage is that we make husband and kids our priority and forgot about ourselves. Before I got married I loved working out and I used to run a lot, I was 125 pounds and never worried about weight and now 7 years later im 174 (was 200:o) and struggle everyday for dont fell of the wagon... Good thing is now im more focus on me and make time everyday for exercise. :D

08-24-2011, 03:10 PM
Well, that and we are influenced by who we eat with. If you eat with a guy most of the time, it's easy to begin to eat what he eats and as much as he eats. When we eat with a bunch of girlfriends, we make different food choices.

And it is very true, for me anyway, that being married and having kids led to less tme about 'me' and more about everyone else. I get the shower last, the least sleep, etc. And lack of sleep means BAD food choices for me - big time.

08-24-2011, 03:28 PM
I only have from when we decided to try and get pregnant in August '03. I delivered in September '04. I have no real explanation for anything from September '04 until May '09. We did move in September '09 to a much larger town with all sorts of restaurants that I drove through way to often.

Rock Chalk Chick
08-24-2011, 04:36 PM
I definitely accept that there's only so much my husband has to do with it - obviously, I choose to eat what I do, etc. Unfortunately, I found the less-healthy choices to be a lot easier with my husband as a "partner in crime!"

I could just as easily blame the entire thing on veterinary school, which has certainly had its effect - long hours of sitting at a desk, too much studying and not enough gym time. And I got very complacent while pregnant - DH started cooking a lot when I was tired, and kept doing so after the baby was born... and it shows!

However, I'm not really all that concerned with the blame, other than figuring out ways to get out of the rut. I don't want another year to go by and have ANOTHER 40 pounds to deal with!

08-24-2011, 04:41 PM
As a single person, I do think it's much easier to control diet, weight loss, and my food intake because I control what I buy, etc. There also isn't as much danger of going off plan because I know that I can plan my meals with predictability and unless I have a last minute social gathering after work, very little will derail me in the evenings. If I go off plan, I have to drive somewhere to get an off-plan food item. I don't keep that stuff in the house. I would imagine it being very difficult to live with an SO that has their favorite ice cream, candy, chips, etc in the house all the time. So extra kudos to those of you who have that to contend with!

08-24-2011, 05:08 PM
1st year of dating my husband I gained 30 lbs!!! It has alot to do with going out more frequently, cooking less and like BerryBlonde said eating and preparing the things a guy likes to eat.
My 1st pregnancy I gained 15 lbs while pregnant and about 70 during the 1st year of her life.
Dealing with a new baby is crazy stressful and tiring so it does take a concentrated effort to remain fit and healthy.
You have some awesome data. At least now you can see when you have gained the most and can come up with a plan for the future.

08-24-2011, 06:20 PM
I think it's very, very common to gain weight after moving in together. Especially if your DH is a big guy in general (my DH is well over 6 feet, for instance, so no matter what he has a higher calorie intack than I do!).

One big thing that happened to us is that we each have our own food triggers. I go nuts for sweets and he goes nuts over salty food. Combine those too and we're overeating on more things than before! :dizzy:

Plus, like others said it's just harder to find "me" time (and definitely at the beginning of relationship sometimes you don't want me time at all ;) ). Eventually I got a wake-up call that I really did need to start looking at my habits. I tried doing it so many times WITH DH but eventually he'd give up and then I'd follow. I finally told myself that no matter what he does I'm going to lose this weight, and I have. He's still not completely ready to do that yet (although he's stopped and started many, many times) but I'm glad that I didn't let that hold me back. ;)

08-24-2011, 07:44 PM
Well, that and we are influenced by who we eat with. If you eat with a guy most of the time, it's easy to begin to eat what he eats and as much as he eats. When we eat with a bunch of girlfriends, we make different food choices.

Very astute comment! I definitely eat more when I eat with my husband (which is 6 out of 7 days). When I eat alone, I'm more likely to just have a bowl of soup or a sandwich or a salad---something that is fewer calories than when I prepare a meal for us both.

08-24-2011, 08:42 PM
Okay, I completely understand this. I gained and gained and gained after I met my husband. He was/is a big guy, too, and my short self thought, "Well, if he's eating it, I want some, too." For me, I have a HUGE problem with sweets, and carb-heavy things. If you want some practical advice, I would suggest cutting out the sugar and carb-heavy stuff (pasta, potatoes, etc.). Just do what you can. I know there are other plans on here, but low-carb is this only thing that has worked long term for me. You can take this or leave it, as you wish. I'm just adding my own suggestions. If nothing else, just giving up sweets (or if your problem is salty stuff, chips), would be a step in the right direction.

Good luck!

08-24-2011, 08:57 PM
I have to admit my husband has greatly influenced what I eat as well since I have been with him I have gained a lil over 100 lbs! I couldn't frickin believe it but he doesn't like the good foods I like and eating too pretty much suit him I let my diet go to **** in a hand basket.... ugh... lol. It is sooo hard being in the same house as him on a diet.. Soda.. fried foods and fries all the yummy stuff you want because you've gotten use to it and now you can't have it

08-24-2011, 09:12 PM
Oh my gosh, this post is awesome! I love your graph! Good luck getting your weight back down again!

08-25-2011, 05:14 AM
Cool graph! For me it is the complete opposite. The first 10lbs of weight loss fell off me without me having to do anything after getting together with my boyfriend. He is a decathlete and eats really healthily (although a lot), and makes me go on bike tours/runs/compete in races with him. It wasn't until a few months in that I realised I had lost weight, then I decided to 'diet' more purposefully and lose the rest. I'm sure when I have babies it'll be a different story though!

08-25-2011, 01:43 PM
Someone else posted this on another thread but I thought you might find this interesting: http://blogs.plos.org/obesitypanacea/2011/08/24/is-travis-bound-to-gain-weight-when-he-marries/#more-2267

Basically, it talks about gaining weight when you get married. ;)

08-25-2011, 01:47 PM
On the same note, I lost a lot of weight leading up to my divorce and maintained it for the first year of my divorce.

Not the best way to lose weight, but I just thought it was funny how that works :)

08-25-2011, 01:54 PM
You know when I got married I was 114lbse ch. My husband use to say a ladies stomach should be like a belan( with which we roll roties) and it should show thru saree. Lo I tried hard to please him. I thot big hips were killer too.
Now I am fat and he has changed his openion. He still feel I am beautiful but I too have changed my openion and I want a slim and trim body now.