Weight Loss Support - Never been in Maintenance




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SunnyJee
08-22-2011, 07:09 AM
Hey ladies...

So I just had a thought tonight that never REALLY occurred to me consciously before...I have never in my life been in maintenance-mode. I have had weight issues from a very young age. I've never really known a portion of my life where I WASN'T trying to lose weight. Ever.

There have obviously been times in my life spent heavier, and lighter. But never once have I ever, ever been a weight where I thought "I want to stay here". I've always just wanted to keep losing. But then again, I've never been "thin" in my adult life either, so that's probably justification in why I never was satisfied.

Now I'm getting quite close to goal weight. I have NEVER been this thin in my life, and now that I'm so close to my initial goal of 110lbs, I realize that this isn't quite where I want to be. I would like to see what I look like at 105lbs now. Who knows how long it will take me to get there, but I'm being very patient with myself, because I lose weight slowly.

I guess I just can't imagine a day where I will stop trying to lose weight. I'm sure I will get there. It's just funny that I'm 32 years old, and I never thought that this journey would be so long...my first diet was when I was 9, lol.

I don't know if I should be sad at this. On the one hand...I've spent most of my life trying to lose weight. So much time and energy spent that could have been spent on other things? But I also know that I should be grateful that I've managed for the first time in my life to get this close to my ideal weight. Maybe this journey won't have to take me a lifetime...


timkerbelle
08-22-2011, 07:13 AM
First of all - congratulations on being so very close to your goal! If that's you in your avatar you look absolutely amazing!
I have had thoughts similar to yours, about how strange it is to have been in some kind of weightloss mode pretty much my whole life.
And yes, so much time and energy has gone into this. I'm hoping it will all be coming together soon for us all!

envelope
08-22-2011, 07:18 AM
I have always been either losing weight or gaining weight. I am looking forward to the day that I will start maintenance.

Have you taken a look at the Maintenance forum yet...I am still to far from goal, but I am starting to look forward to the day that I feel comfortable enough to look around there.


bargoo
08-22-2011, 08:41 AM
I am your same height and 105 would be too thin for me , and too hard to maintain, it might work for you, however.It looks like you have lost 40 pounds if you haven't regained that , you are maintaining. You might want to check out the featherweights forum as well as the living maintenance forum.

SunnyJee
08-22-2011, 09:09 AM
I am your same height and 105 would be too thin for me , and too hard to maintain, it might work for you, however.It looks like you have lost 40 pounds if you haven't regained that , you are maintaining. You might want to check out the featherweights forum as well as the living maintenance forum.

Yes, you're right. I've never regained, since a few years ago when I began at my highest weight of 150. I made a pact with myself that no matter what, I can stall, but never gain... When my weight goes up by a few pounds, I go into "lockdown" mode, and don't let up until it disappears. I was always under the impression that maintenance was when you no longer wanted to lose weight, and just "maintain" what you've lost. I've never been at that point. I've stalled in weight many times, but I've never been at a point that I had stopped wanting to lose weight. I very much look forward to belonging to a maintenace forum once I am at goal...

carter
08-22-2011, 10:17 AM
When my weight goes up by a few pounds, I go into "lockdown" mode, and don't let up until it disappears.

My impression, from talking to lots of people, and reading the maintenance board here, is that for a lot of people, what you describe here is maintenance.

bargoo
08-22-2011, 10:28 AM
If you lose one pound and keep it off you are maintaining.

Thighs Be Gone
08-22-2011, 10:33 AM
Over the weekend I saw a great, big lady wearing a Nike shirt that made perfect sense to me. It read, "There is no finish line." That's exactly how I am feeling about my weight. There is progress for me to make but there is no FINISH LINE just step after step and day after day. And that's okay.

SunnyJee
08-22-2011, 11:43 AM
Carter and Bargoo: I'm so confused! So even if I am actively still trying to lose more weight, the fact that I haven't gained means that I'm in "maintenance"? I see so many ppl on the weight loss support forum that are actively losing weight and haven't gained...is this the same scenario for everyone?

I guess I assumed that maintenance was trying to stabilize and maintain their current weight. Since I am still actively losing...I feel like I should still belong in the weight loss support forum :(

Well, thanks for the input.

bargoo
08-22-2011, 11:48 AM
It is normal for your weight to fluctuate a little even after reaching goal. My weight goes up and down by 2 pounds for no apparent reason. I am , however maintaining my weight loss.
I think you might be confusing goal with maintenance. You can be maintaining even if you are not at goal.

RJ 1980
08-22-2011, 11:53 AM
I'm confused too! I thought weight loss mode (actively losing and not regaining) was different than maintenance. Because you are still trying to lose? For example, I expect my calories at maintenance to be higher than when I'm trying to lose.

I can relate OP, even though I used to be thin I was always trying to be thinner. I never just tried to "stay" at a certain weight. I have no clue what it will be like when I reach my goal of 125, b/c at that weight previously I was trying to get down to 110! :dizzy:

SunnyJee
08-22-2011, 12:07 PM
I'm confused too! I thought weight loss mode (actively losing and not regaining) was different than maintenance. Because you are still trying to lose? For example, I expect my calories at maintenance to be higher than when I'm trying to lose.

I can relate OP, even though I used to be thin I was always trying to be thinner. I never just tried to "stay" at a certain weight. I have no clue what it will be like when I reach my goal of 125, b/c at that weight previously I was trying to get down to 110! :dizzy:


Oh thank you for the response!! That's exactly how I feel!! I have no idea what it will feel like to be "done" with losing weight, because I've never reached a goal weight! :)
I'm sure it will be an amazing feeling though...to one day just stop trying to lose more weight, and be okay with where I am. I long for the day where my focus will be to keep the needle on my scale at a certain number, instead of always wishing for it to keep getting lower!

Good luck with your goal! :)

Sunshine87
08-22-2011, 12:14 PM
Regardless of how you define maintenance I think what SunnyJee is talking about is being satisfied with you weight and keeping it within a pre-established range. She has maintained her loss but never entered "maintenance mode".
I understand how you feel because I have always been gaining or trying to lose. I really have never been at the point where I was like "wow, I look good and I do not want to lose anymore weight." Then, you simply (much easier said then done!) maintain the weight you are at. I CANNOT WAIT for this feeling.
Congratulations on your weight loss! You look awesome!

SunnyJee
08-22-2011, 12:23 PM
Regardless of how you define maintenance I think what SunnyJee is talking about is being satisfied with you weight and keeping it within a pre-established range. She has maintained her loss but never entered "maintenance mode".
I understand how you feel because I have always been gaining or trying to lose. I really have never been at the point where I was like "wow, I look good and I do not want to lose anymore weight." Then, you simply (much easier said then done!) maintain the weight you are at. I CANNOT WAIT for this feeling.
Congratulations on your weight loss! You look awesome!


You took the words right out of my mouth, and worded them much better than I had :)
Thank you for the compliment, and the support. Thank you, thank you!

It's funny...it makes me a little less sad to know that there are others out there just like me, who may never have known the feeling of not trying to lose weight. This journey is so lonely sometimes. It's hard to imagine a finish line, you know?

:)

ItsMyTurn
08-22-2011, 12:56 PM
I am sure you will do well in maintenance, when you reach it :) You have incorporated the techniques I was educated on when you stalled in order to prevent gain that became out of reach again... that is a main principal in the "maintenance" game. I have been trying to get my grubby mitts on anything I can to have the education needed to keep myself on the right track once I FINALLY get to that "happy" spot. I had been thin one other time in adulthood, but it was done in a healthy way at all, and this time I have ONLY done healthy things... so will be a whole new world. Almost the same as your shoes cause it seems to have been a constant battle and I am still a long ways from where I need to be... the difference this time (as it sounds like you adopted) is that I see the light at the end of the tunnel this time; I know I can succeed because I have accepted that there will be stalls, there will be slower times, parts of me will get weird before disappearing... but... maintenance almost seems scary - due to being unfamiliar territory. I also think it's normal to fear the unknown...fortunately a forum here to support through that too :)

tuende
08-22-2011, 01:42 PM
I just posted about this very topic in another thread! So it's nice to hear that others can relate! I've never EVER thought about maintaining my weight- if I wasn't actively trying to lose weight, I just stopped thinking about it all together and for me, this means gaining weight. I'm still a few months out from goal, but getting there is pretty scary. As tough as weight loss is, at least I know how to do it! Better the devil you know :).

carter
08-22-2011, 03:14 PM
Carter and Bargoo: I'm so confused! So even if I am actively still trying to lose more weight, the fact that I haven't gained means that I'm in "maintenance"?

I can't speak for Bargoo, but that is not what I meant.

I was responding specifically to your statement that when you see your weight starting to go up, you clamp down on your eating habits until it goes back down.

When I said that is maintenance, that's what I meant. I was not saying "merely not having gained means you are in maintenance by definition." I was saying "when people say they are in maintenance, what they are doing is exactly what you are doing." They keep an eye on their weight and tighten up their eating when it starts to go above the range they want to be in.

runningfromfat
08-22-2011, 03:35 PM
I've only been in maitence mode once in my life and that was throughout high school! After that I was always trying to lose weight (although some of those attempts were pretty lazy ;) ) or gaining (i.e. just ignoring my weight entirely).

Right before high school I lost some weight and I maintained it by do two things: 1. I was extremely active and would run up to 10 miles/day at times and 2. I ate like my skinny friends. We went out to eat often and I would watch exactly how much food they put into their mouths and then do the same.

I was young then so it never occured to me to weigh myself often, take measurements, restrict my food choices etc. I wish I had been more conscious about such things then, sigh...

Anyways, one thing I plan on doing for the rest of my life is daily weighing. When I weigh often I lose weight/maintain my weight, when I don't I gain. I figure it's the simplest thing I can do to make myself conscious of my weight and what I'm putting into my mouth. We'll see how that works when I get there. I won't be in maitence mode for awhile, though, because we're hoping to TTC once I reach a healthy BMI so this is more for something down the road.

April Snow
08-22-2011, 04:16 PM
I agree with Carter that on a practical level, maintenance means that while you understand there is some normal fluctuation in weight and you aren't going to weigh the exact same amount every single day, you do have a pre-defined range that you can live with, and if you ever go above that range, then you shift over into actively trying to lose some weight. I think a lot of people use about 5 lbs, but when you are smaller, I could see going with 2-3 lbs as your range.

I also understand the question on the emotional level. I'm a long way away from whatever my final goal turns out to be but I'm already a little bit nervous about shifting gears from actively trying to lose weight to anything else. I think in your case, you have a HUGE advantage over many people in that you have haven't regained along the way and have always been able to keep off what you have lost. Like many people, I haven't done that - as soon as I get track for losing weight, I drift (or run! lol!) back into all my old habits and put all that weight back on. So you are clearly doing something right already.

You've also said that you lose weight slowly and that at times, you "stall" but maintain. So it seems like for you, the change will be very subtle in terms of your eating and activity, and it will be more of a mental shift to where the "stall" is the desired end, although of course, it will be in a positive sense, rather than a negative one.