Weight Loss Support - do other people's goal weights ever make you second guess?




juliastl27
08-19-2011, 07:43 PM
I know this is probably stupid, but sometimes when I see other people on here who are about my height, and have much lower goals, I wonder if I'm not aiming for a good weight?

I see some women who start on here at my goal weight already! Does anyone else have this problem?


abluvion
08-19-2011, 07:48 PM
You'll know when you get there :) Besides, no one wears their scale weight on their shirts so ultimately your weight is irrelevant. Figure out the weight you feel the best at and there you go! Goal!

Michelle2008
08-19-2011, 07:55 PM
I didn't put a great deal of thouht into my goal weight - i knew I wanted a bmi below 25, and from that it was simply finger in the air. I have no idea what I will look or feel like when i get close to that weight so may re-evaluate.

I am interested in others goals - but we all have such different body types we will all look different even at the same weight and height!! Don't over think it


ERHR
08-19-2011, 07:59 PM
Yes, I have done some double-takes when I see goal weights lower than my own for women my same height. As the others above have stated, it's highly individual.

When I set my goal weight, I picked an ambitious but not unimaginable number. It's about 5-10 lbs lower than I've ever been in my adult life. As I approach my goal weight, I can see that I might want to go a bit lower - those lower weights have become imaginable on my body. I'm sure I will be constantly adjusting my goal as I get fitter.

I don't think your specific goal weight matters much as long as this is a lifestyle change for you. When you reach your goal weight you'll ideally either transition into maintenance or decide you have a little more to lose, and both will require the habits you're cultivating now. Your life won't become a free-for-all just because you hit a number!

WannaBeLoserAgain
08-19-2011, 08:32 PM
No. I am 5'6" and I have been to 145-150 pounds before and I had to exercise to keep it there. I want to be comfortable and I want to be able to eat whatever I want in moderation. Your weight goal is your own decision and what is best for you and your life style.

sontaikle
08-19-2011, 08:33 PM
I second guess my goal weight a lot, especially since I see so many people with lower goal weights who are quite a bit taller than me. However, my goal wasn't to get skinny as I enjoy the "curvy" look, so I have to see how low I want to go.

I figure once I get to goal I'll decide if I want to lose more (or perhaps even stop before I get to goal)

I'm already quite happy with my body, and I think some of the things I dislike might be better fixed with strength training (and as I was working on them before, my arms are quite unhappy with me now—ouch!)

berryblondeboys
08-19-2011, 08:35 PM
Well, take a look at my goal weight. I'm the exact same height as you. Now, I know that at 175 pounds I will still have fat on me, but so what? I picked that number because it seemed something I 'could' attain and maintain. Since being healthy was my primary concern, I knew that exercising 5-6 times a week and eating right along with being at a much lower weight was the best way to be healthy.

Now, is it my ideal weight? No. it's not. But there is no formula that works for everyone. I am very large boned. Not just some women making it up. My wrists are 6.85 around (very large), I have huge hips, large rib cage, etc. My goal, by what doctors have said in the past is probably around 160. For most women my height, that would be still overweight. But then again, is that such a huge deal?

I always find it interesting how those of us who spent perhaps decades obese or morbidly obese all of a sudden feel that we have to go from that to perfection - the 'ideal' weight. Is it really necessary? No.

So... don't worry about a number. That number will find you. I'm sure my end number will be under 175, but for me, as long as I get under that number, I'm satisfied. I'll continue with exercising and eating right and will settle at a weight my body prefers - be it 170, 160 or 150.

cortandcooper
08-19-2011, 08:36 PM
Nope. A lot of people my height aim to be around 100 lbs, but I know I don't have the body frame that will work for that. Not to mention that I want a weight that I have a chance to maintain. 100 lbs isn't it.

shishkeberry
08-19-2011, 08:43 PM
I don't even look at people's goal weights, honestly. I don't care. My goal is just a loose guide anyway. It's just the number that Calorie Count said I should aim for. I might look like a skeleton at that weight or decide that 140-150 is good enough. I've been over 200 since high school so I don't know. I'll find out when I get there.

tattoodles
08-19-2011, 09:27 PM
I don't second guess my own, but I am surprised when I see someone who is 4 or 5 inches taller than me with a lower goal weight than my own. I guess I just can't picture what that would look like. At my current height and weight my ribs and hip bones stick out a LOT whenever I'm laying down. I also know that my boobs disappear if I'm under 120. I guess everyone's different. I also have a friend who's an apple shape (I'm an hourglass), and even though we're the same height, she wants to get down to 115 cuz that's the last time she liked her tummy.

peanutt
08-19-2011, 09:46 PM
Sometimes another poster's goal weight will really catch my eye, especially if we're the same height. But I always remember that we all carry weight so differently that the numbers don't compare. This is why I love mybodygallery.com - you get to see how different similar weights can look on different people.

christine123
08-19-2011, 09:48 PM
I chose mine to be 6lbs lower than my lowest adult weight because I never quite made it there the last time. Even though I looked ok, I had quite a bit of fat around my middle that may have smoothed out had I kept going. I actually feel like I look ok now, to be honest and my smallest pair of size 6s have room but I figure I have enough fat still that I'm not 100% comfortable with. My highest was 183. I started in December calorie counting at 175. My posted starting weight is what I joined 3fc at in June.

chickadee32
08-19-2011, 11:19 PM
Yes, I do notice others' goal weights, and it does sometimes make me wonder whether mine is too high. I set my goal weight just inside the healthy BMI range for my height, but honestly, even 147 is something I can't yet imagine on myself given my body shape. I can see that shape even more now that I've lost a bunch - I have big hands, very broad shoulders, big hips and big legs, and I don't think something like 130 (a goal I see a lot for women around my height) would look very good on me. I will fight to get to my goal, and I'll be ecstatic if I do make it down to 147. That will be about 30 lbs below what I've ever been as an adult, and I will be very healthy. That's good enough for me, even if it means I will still weigh a lot more than other women my height.

kelly315
08-19-2011, 11:32 PM
I wrote this in response to your thread. We see these threads come up often, and I usually reply, so I found that it would be better if I just wrote it all in one place. Hope this helps.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/241250-can-you-ever-thin-enough-about-other-peoples-opinions-themselves.html#post3998282

April Snow
08-19-2011, 11:52 PM
I do notice goal weights, esp. for women about my height.

However, I don't have a final goal weight yet, so I'm not really comparing to my goal or second guessing myself. I have never been anything but obese as an adult. So I really have no idea what it will be like to weigh below 200, let alone something around 150, which I guess is a theoretically good weight for my height.

I decided I would just deal with 10% at a time. I am pretty sure I can and will do that 4 times, which would bring me to 172. After that, who knows? I may decide that's a fantastic place to be, or I may feel the desire and ability to go lower. Or I may not even get there and find out that 193 or 183 or some other number is what feels right. And for that part, no comparisons matter because no one else is me, in my body, with the ability to maintain and to happily live in that body.

At this point, the only thing I know for sure is that 227 is NOT that final number for me! lol!

ahyessophie
08-20-2011, 12:01 AM
Sometimes when I see someone my height or taller with a lower goal, I get this momentary laps where I feel like "Crap - I'm going to get to goal and still look not as good as other people. I still won't be thin." and then I hit my head on the desk and come back down to earth and realize it doesn't matter.

I never had a scale when I lived at home so I'm not really sure what I weighed when I was in high school, which is where I'd like to be. Somehow 140 stands out in my head, so I'm using that as a loose guide but will know more about where I should be when I fit into an 8 or a 6. Clothing sizes feel more imaginable than a number on the scale.

sheramama
08-20-2011, 12:17 AM
I chose my goal weight based on:
A) It is a weight that I looked/felt good in
B) Is in my healthy range.

There are women who have much lower weight goals and who have also hit those target weights. For me? According to the BMI chart, I could weigh 114 and be "healthy". I use that term loosely bc I know that anything under 130 would be unhealthy FOR ME.

You can't let something like that bother you. It's all about perception. Don't stress so much about things like that bc soon, it will be, "Wow, that chick is about my height and I bet she is 10lbs thinner! The b!tch!" If we aren't careful, insecurities can turn into unhealthy obsessions. It is good to be aware, but take it at an arms legnth.

Horo
08-20-2011, 03:10 AM
Oh, no, definitely not. I adjusted my goal a few times but never in relation to anyone else, just how I felt. My first goal was a number I picked out of the blue and just because it seemed reasonable and would put me just slightly into the "healthy" BMI range for someone with my stats- 150. I really had no idea what it would be like, but when I got there, I decided I would like to lose a bit more based on my own preferences. The lowest I got was to 142 before maintaining in the mid-low 140's for a long time, but I've lowered my final goal to 130 because I figure that my clothes will fit a bit better(I don't anticipate actually dropping sizes) with a little more fat lost. I've never compared my goal to the goals of other people, though, because our bodies and preferences are all very different and I've always figured that what's right for someone else likely isn't what's right for me.

shanhat81
08-20-2011, 07:51 AM
I picked mine based on what I think is maintainable and what I've weighed in the past.

My ultimate goal is low 130s. Is it possible for me at 30? I don't know. It was possible at 20.

I'm working on my first 10 percent at WW ... I figure after I do my second, I'll have a better idea of what my body's going to look like and what it's going to take to maintain it.

I'm also looking to the future (i.e., babies and post-pregnancy weight loss). I don't want to drive myself nuts to get back to a weight that's hard to maintain.

asweetchicagogirl1
08-20-2011, 11:46 AM
I notice it for sure and sometimes it makes me think I should aim a little lower (I see a lot of people my height wanting to be 120-125). Honestly, though, I'm pretty happy where I am. Every "body" is different. My butt and thighs are still big but I'm ok with that. I lose my stomach completely before my butt and thighs really come down and I never really liked a concave stomach (versus the flat, toned one I have now)....hurts to sleep because your bones stick out too much.

carter
08-20-2011, 12:03 PM
As has been said, people's natural frames are different, so a number that looks trim and lean on one person might look emaciated or chubby on someone else, even if they have the same height.

Another important difference is age - realistically, a 20-year-old can probably reach and sustain a lower goal weight than a 50-year old.

I don't even have a numerical goal weight - I will stop when either (a) I am happy with the way I look and how trim & fit I am, or (b) the amount of work it would take to get trimmer and fitter is more than I am willing/able to put in. I have no idea where that will be - I haven't been below 165 since I was 16 or 17, and now I'm almost 40. So I haven't even tried to pick a numerical goal weight.

But, at 5'5", I am built like an ox - stocky, large core muscles, very large bust (that weighs something, you know). So while there are probably women who are delicately enough to be willowy at 5'5", who can aim for a goal weight of 120 or 125 pounds, I know for sure I'm not one of them. Seeing one of them doesn't make me think I'm not aiming low enough, though. It just highlights the natural variation among us all.

Koshka
08-20-2011, 12:25 PM
I do notice and occasionally it makes me feel like, well, a wimp for setting my goal weight at 145 which is just at 24.9 BMI.

Way back when (22 years ago) my WW goal weight was 125. I got there and even briefly got down to 119 and I did look good. I still had some belly fat even at 119! (I am a total apple shape, alas).

However, even then I couldn't sustain the 125. I fairly quickly drifted up to the 140s which I was more able to maintain. Eventually I got married (tried to match DH's eating which was a mistake since he is 6' tall) and had a baby, etc.

Now, I just think it is more realistic (57 years old now!) to aim for 145. That said, I sort of have in the back of mind to just see how it goes when I get there. In my heart I would sort of like to be 135 (oh, I'll be honest, I loved being 125). But I'm not sure that is sustainable for me and it make require more from me than I can do now. If I get to 145 and can go lower slowly without a lot of angst then, fine, but I'm not going to consider myself a failure. Back when I originally joined WW in 1988 I weighed 167 pounds and got the 145 in about 3 months. It took me another 2 years to get from 145 to 125 which might have been a clue that I couldn't really sustain that weight.

Sued1971
08-20-2011, 01:26 PM
I know this is probably stupid, but sometimes when I see other people on here who are about my height, and have much lower goals, I wonder if I'm not aiming for a good weight?

I see some women who start on here at my goal weight already! Does anyone else have this problem?

We're the same height (but maybe different body types). My Ultimate goal weight is 10 pounds less. But that is because I want some wiggle room when I am maintaining. My realistic life goal is 140-145 ( I know that seems like a big range, but I do need it.) I used to have 145 as a goal weight but for *me* I need the finish line to be a bit further out. If I don't I stop too soon. If that makes any sense.

Astrild
08-20-2011, 01:46 PM
No, but my goal is on the lower end of a 'healthy' BMI. Sometimes this makes me feel bad, like others might think I'm crazy. BMI doesn't affect my goal weigh though, I just know what I will look like. I have relatively thin bones (according to measurements, and despite my wide frame,) and I've always felt like I was carrying too much for my frame. I did feel pretty sexy at a higher weight, but only with clothes on. It would be fine if I carried it in all the right places, but I'm an H shape and carry a lot of it in my gut, which bothers me. So for me it's just about slimming down and feeling my best with my body. Everybody is different.

Cheece
08-20-2011, 09:33 PM
I just picked a number inside the healthy BMI range, that was a nice number (55kg). Really, I would be happy under 60kg, but I don't think I would be happy under 55kg.

Wannabehealthy
08-21-2011, 08:21 AM
.

So... don't worry about a number. That number will find you. I'm sure my end number will be under 175, but for me, as long as I get under that number, I'm satisfied. I'll continue with exercising and eating right and will settle at a weight my body prefers - be it 170, 160 or 150.

Berry, although we weigh about the same, you look slimmer than I do, but you are taller than I am. I have set my goal where I think I would improve my health. In my 20's and 30's I weighed in the 130's, but I had to fight to stay at that weight and I don't think it's a reasonable weight for me at this time in my life. I think my doctors would be thrilled if I could reach and maintain my goal.

Carol

sacha
08-21-2011, 09:00 AM
Another important difference is age - realistically, a 20-year-old can probably reach and sustain a lower goal weight than a 50-year old.


This is an important point and sometimes people forget this when judging other's goals. A 5'5 childless woman at 18 years old may see 110-115lbs as a completely reasonable goal and many of her peers may be that too. At 30, after having kids, the same woman may sit at 130lbs and look just as great, but age/body changes make 110-115 impossible. Perhaps, at 60, I may sit fine at 140-150lbs.

Age can really make a difference!

(BTW I am that girl ;))

Lori Bell
08-21-2011, 10:04 AM
I used to gasp at peoples "goal" weights, especially people who are similar heights and wanted to be 10-25 pounds less that my current weight. But then I realized, they are just that...goals. They haven't' reached them yet, and there is a 90% chance they never will...and even less of a percent chance they'll stay there if they do. According to some statistics I read a few years back, only around 3-5% of the people who lose weight actually keep it off, and only 1-2% keep it ALL off. (I'll be looking up that reference, because I'm interested to know if it has changed any).

I know how incredibly hard it is to maintain 140 pounds, I couldn't even imagine how difficult it would be to maintain 120. YIKES, I'd go insane! :)

My point is, most people never reach the goals they set for themselves, and even less actually stay there. It's kind of sad really....when the ultimate goal should be health, and not vanity. Doesn't work that way though.

Cali Doll
08-21-2011, 10:24 AM
I used to second guess, yes. But, like Lori Bell said, I know how challenging it is for me to maintain 160, I couldn't imagine maintaining a lot less than that.

It just reinforces for me how everyone is different with different ideals.

toodles11
08-21-2011, 11:36 AM
I agree that alot of it is guesswork at first. I was barely out of high school the last time I felt really good about my body so I can't really remember what that weight/size feels like.

I picked 10lbs higher than I was at the time I graduated high school. I was thin, but not very "fit", so a higher weight in a more fit body might look even better. I might get to 130 or 135 and feel great and stop there. I won't know until I get there.

MariaMaria
08-21-2011, 02:45 PM
the ultimate goal should be health, and not vanity. Doesn't work that way though.

Featherweights is all about vanity, though. Those last 15 or 20 pounds or a BMI around 18 are or a bodyfat percentage in the range of "lowest bodyfat that supports menstruation" are all about what you look like, not about your health (physical or psychological).

carter
08-21-2011, 05:16 PM
It's kind of sad really....when the ultimate goal should be health, and not vanity.

Nah, the ultimate goal should be whatever works to inspire someone to actually make the commitment and do the hard work it takes to lose weight.

If your ultimate goal is health, then looking better is a nice bonus. If your ultimate goal is vanity, then being healthier is a nice bonus. But I don't think one goal is a priori better than the other in any moral-judgment sort of way.

I can admit that I really don't care that much about my health in a long-term thinking kind of way. I've always been (fortunate enough to be) a fairly healthy person, and "Health" is too vague and amorphous and distant a concept to really have an impact on my day-to-day or moment-to-moment food choices. Health was not a motivation at the beginning, and has continued to not be a motivation as I've lost 100 pounds over my two years in this process. Feeling better and stronger has been nice - indeed, very nice - but vanity, making myself look the way I want to look, is what drives me to put the fork down and say no to the donuts on a daily basis.

So, given that's my driving force, perhaps I am just a little defensive to see someone say that it's sad that my driving force isn't something else. But I can't imagine I'm alone in "health" not really being enough to make a difference. And so I'd like to think that it's not really wrong to let vanity motivate you if that what's going to work for you. After all, if I'd waited until I cared about my health to get started, I wouldn't be here posting this - I'd be off eating chocolate somewhere, >100 pounds heavier than I am now.

beerab
08-21-2011, 05:29 PM
I'm 5'3" and my goal is 135- I see people my height with lower weight goals. I just decided to re-evaluate when I got close to or at goal. That's all I can think to do.

Lucky72
08-21-2011, 05:41 PM
But, at 5'5", I am built like an ox - stocky, large core muscles, very large bust (that weighs something, you know). So while there are probably women who are delicately enough to be willowy at 5'5", who can aim for a goal weight of 120 or 125 pounds, I know for sure I'm not one of them. Seeing one of them doesn't make me think I'm not aiming low enough, though. It just highlights the natural variation among us all.

I hear you sister! I have picked a goal weight that is 20 pounds above what the "healthy BMI table" says for a couple of reasons. 160 pounds is an amount I know I can maintain, as I have done it before. My lowest adult weight was 148 pounds and I could not maintain that and I looked gross. My bones stuck out and you could see my ribs (well not you personally, but you get my point). The kind of work that I do (research) is heavily invested in the concept of BMI and for the most part I think it is far too flawed to be an acceptable method. But whatever - those are just my thoughts for me.

My body type is a lot like yours from the sounds of it. When I am thinner I am a definite hourglass. There's about a 15" difference between my hips and my waist even now at 209 pounds. "Willowy" is not a word that will ever be used to describe me.

envelope
08-21-2011, 08:10 PM
I sometimes wonder if my goal weight is doable for me. It is a goal and I want to see if I can get there. According to the Calorie Counting site the cals that I eat daily will allow me to maintain at 137. If I end up at 147, I will be ok with that too. Heck if my behind lost a bit more fat, and my belly fat went away (or was significantly reduced) I would be happy with whatever weight that happened at. Currently most of my extra weight is centered on my belly with a little extra on my bum. If my weight were distributed more evenly, I think I might be happier at a higher weight.

MsThickMiddle
08-21-2011, 08:15 PM
I some times wonder, normally is the person is about my height and age. I think "Wow, my goal is about 145-150 and her's is 112 pounds" It's been 13 years and 4 babies ago that I was 112 pounds. I looked sickly ill. LOL. But thats just me someone else my be quite fit and or shapely at that height and weight.

IsobelRose22
08-22-2011, 01:04 AM
I haven't been slim during my adult life. So I have no idea how it feels or ho I'd look at a lower weight, thankfully my mum is a very similar body type to me, and she's had to lose the same amount of weight as me so I chose my goal weight based on her current weight, then ran it through a bmi calculator just to check if it was healthy, it was bang on 22. !60lbs is what i'm aiming for but I'll re-evaluate as I get smaller, as long as it's a healthy weight and I don't look overweight or emaciated it doesn't matter what the number on the scale says.

IsobelRose22
08-22-2011, 01:15 AM
Nah, the ultimate goal should be whatever works to inspire someone to actually make the commitment and do the hard work it takes to lose weigh

Carter-Thank god you said that, there have been a few occasions when I've been told off for not having my health as my number 1 priority and been made to feel bad about my reasons for losing weight, not just on here but in normal life as well. But i'm of the mind that if its motivated you to get the weight off it shouldn;t matter if if the reason is health or the way you look.

I'm 22, I want to enjoy my 20's, and a lot of the time that means looking slimmer. I am very fortunate to be very healthy, even at my biggest, I do understand that other people are not so lucky, but I do think that while my health is very important to me, it wasn't my primary motivation in losing weight.

christine123
08-22-2011, 02:04 PM
Nah, the ultimate goal should be whatever works to inspire someone to actually make the commitment and do the hard work it takes to lose weight.

If your ultimate goal is health, then looking better is a nice bonus. If your ultimate goal is vanity, then being healthier is a nice bonus. But I don't think one goal is a priori better than the other in any moral-judgment sort of way.

I can admit that I really don't care that much about my health in a long-term thinking kind of way. I've always been (fortunate enough to be) a fairly healthy person, and "Health" is too vague and amorphous and distant a concept to really have an impact on my day-to-day or moment-to-moment food choices. Health was not a motivation at the beginning, and has continued to not be a motivation as I've lost 100 pounds over my two years in this process. Feeling better and stronger has been nice - indeed, very nice - but vanity, making myself look the way I want to look, is what drives me to put the fork down and say no to the donuts on a daily basis.

So, given that's my driving force, perhaps I am just a little defensive to see someone say that it's sad that my driving force isn't something else. But I can't imagine I'm alone in "health" not really being enough to make a difference. And so I'd like to think that it's not really wrong to let vanity motivate you if that what's going to work for you. After all, if I'd waited until I cared about my health to get started, I wouldn't be here posting this - I'd be off eating chocolate somewhere, >100 pounds heavier than I am now.

I agree 100% with this. I do have a fairly low goal for my height, and I was about 5lbs shy of it when I did regain all but 10lbs. If I went with what was easiest to maintain, it's about 175lbs, which is overweight and close to obese according to BMI charts. My body loves that weight. So I can't go by what's easiest to maintain because it's neither healthy nor attractive on me. I weighed maybe 185lbs or so at my heaviest for about 2 months. But cutting out soda, and that's it, put me right back to 175lbs where I stayed. I may or may not make it to 125lbs but I am going to try. I am a 31 yr old, single woman. I hope to have kids one day and I certainly don't want to start on the heavier side of things when that day comes around that I start a family. I also want to look good and trim. I would like to have more dating opportunities. I would like to have more confidence in my body. And I would like to see a size 4 again. Sure that is ALL vain. Nowhere has it been about health. But health would not be enough of a motivator for me. And neither is what's easiest for me to maintain. I also don't think vanity is bad reason to lose weight. It's perfectly fine, and very common. If it's all about health and not at all about vanity, so many people wouldn't be posting talking about cute clothes they can now wear, how much better they look, etc.

twinmommaplusone
08-23-2011, 07:49 AM
Yes it has. Alot, lol.

I think I was going to feel great just to not be 'overweight' and hit 164 and on my way there I knew I was going to go for 159....then when I got there I knew I was going to have to go to 149.....now I think I could potentially one day aim for 139-145....I know crazy right. but that is only because I see people my height/frame that can pull of that number and look athletic and fit. That is my goal...to rid my body with toxic fat.

lisa4621
08-23-2011, 11:59 AM
I spoke to my doctor before deciding on a goal weight. Being 4ft 11" and small framed my goal weight came out slightly lower than I expected. I would recommend doing this if you are unsure what goal weight you should set. Ultimately I think it is about how you feel though, since I started calorie counting three and a bit weeks ago I have only lost 4lbs but I can feel all of my size 16 trousers getting loose. In my opinion your confidence and how good you feel outweighs the benefits of being able to hit a set weight target. I am actually considering whether to throw out my bathroom scales at the moment so I can focus on my wellbeing rather than a number.

SouthLake
08-23-2011, 12:45 PM
Thought I would pipe in with some input since I'm someone with a low goal weight. At almost 5'9", my goal is to end up under 140 pounds. For a lot of people this probably seems like a low goal if they don't know me. People that know me understand a little more. I have moderate to severe scoliosis (depending on who you talk to) and as a result, I literally have almost no torso. According to xrays, the gap between the top of my hips and bottom of my ribcage is an inch or so at most. Because of that, I need to keep my weight on the lower end of the scale if I want to keep extra inches off my stomach. There's just nowhere to distribute it. On the plus side, at a low weight, losing 5 pounds looks like losing ten. On the downside, gaining 5 pounds looks like gaining 15.

I kind of have the opposite problem- I see people my height in the 150s and 160s that look AMAZING and it makes me want to set my goal higher, but, I know that's not what I look like at that weight. Yes, I will be just as healthy at 155 as I will be at 135. But, healthy isn't my only goal.

I guess my point is that we're all built differently, and so our goals are all going to be very different. Don't second guess yourself based on anyone else, just let your body adjust to each new low and decide from there. (I'm still secretly hoping I'll be happy at 150)

zoodoo613
08-23-2011, 01:00 PM
Goal is still a fairy tale for me, and I try not to focus on it too much. I do notice other peoples goal weights, but especially at this stage of the game, they just don't mean much to me.

We all have different reasons for losing, different hopes for goal, etc. My goal weight is a weight I got to once before. I don't think I was entirely happy with it then, but I don't know if I can do any better.

Here's the thing. I'm never going to have the body I want. I'm short and wide and thick, and nothing in the world is going to make me tall and willowy. My stomach will always be scarred by stretchmarks, my boobs will always be a big saggy at this point in my life. I don't know if this makes things easier or harder for me, but looking at someone and thinking, "I want to look like that." just doesn't make any sense for me. In a way, it's depressing, because, sure, I'd love to look like that. But in another way, I don't need to keep striving for it, because an ox just isn't going to look like a giraffe. In that way, other people's goal weight is irrelevant.

theCandEs
08-23-2011, 04:56 PM
I'm 5'3" and my goal is 135- I see people my height with lower weight goals. I just decided to re-evaluate when I got close to or at goal. That's all I can think to do.

I'm 5'2" and thinking about just calling the weight I am now maintenance. I've been stuck here for months. I've tried all different kinds of things, and I've been so frustrated. I'll loose a pound, and then gain it right back. Am I a quitter? I guess at least I can say I'm not gaining.

Lori Bell
08-23-2011, 05:01 PM
So, given that's my driving force, perhaps I am just a little defensive to see someone say that it's sad that my driving force isn't something else. But I can't imagine I'm alone in "health" not really being enough to make a difference. And so I'd like to think that it's not really wrong to let vanity motivate you if that what's going to work for you. After all, if I'd waited until I cared about my health to get started, I wouldn't be here posting this - I'd be off eating chocolate somewhere, >100 pounds heavier than I am now.

That's awesome Carter. Fortunately for me, I was also a "healthy" morbidly obese person as well...until I reached about 40. Then all h@ll broke loose and the $hit hit the fan. My blood pressure that was always normal sky rocketed, sleep apnea, high triglyceride's...you name it, it just hit. My whole life I had lost weight to "catch a man, or to look good in a swim suit, blah, blah, blah.... It never quite took hold for very long until my life was on the line. Maintenance actually became the goal when I realized I was not immortal. Also at my age, I began seeing fat friends and family dropping like flies from obesity related diseases or spending bucket loads of money on drugs to keep them fat and alive. So, yeah when I was young and fairly healthy, I just wanted to look hot. There finally came a point with age that I just wanted to live. So, you can take your vanity to the department store, and I'll take my health to the bank. ;) To each is own, and I'm sorry I didn't word my post to add "in my humble opinion"...inwhich it is.

Thighs Be Gone
08-23-2011, 05:14 PM
I think we all have to decide for ourselves where we want to be. For me, I didn't know "where" I wanted to be until I got down into what is deemed a healthy BMI. When I was over 200 I could only imagine what I would like at 160, 150, 140, etc.

I definitely started because I was plain TIRED of being fat. On top of that, I had three sisters with serious, debilitating illnesses. Seeing sickness so close to home definitely made me pause. So, it was a combination of health AND vanity. I have to say I NEVER knew I would enjoy my health as I do now. To top it off, I was actually EXTREMELY uncomfortable the first Spring I morphed and lost so much weight that men were first looking at me. Now, I am okay with it and realize it's a normal thing.

As to which is right motivation, health or vanity I would answer it again with, IT IS UP TO YOU. Would I ever contemplate whether or not I want a frozen yogurt for the calcium or the yumminess? It doesn't matter. What matters is I am sitting here eating my yogurt with my friends on 3FC! :)

p.s. nope, not eating frozen yogurt but you get the point!

LORI, of course--your opinion is absolutely your own. Your experience and your ongoing success speaks for itself.

Thighs Be Gone
08-23-2011, 05:17 PM
Featherweights is all about vanity, though. Those last 15 or 20 pounds or a BMI around 18 are or a bodyfat percentage in the range of "lowest bodyfat that supports menstruation" are all about what you look like, not about your health (physical or psychological).


I definitely disagree. Calorie restriction has shown to greatly increase life span.

ETA: At my higher weight I honestly didn't think 15-20 pounds would have much bearing on me physically or psychologically either. Now, 15-20 pounds is a HUGE difference for me--as evidenced by blood pressure and cholesterol levels and the way I feel mentally--I mean, WHOA what a difference!

aseret123
08-23-2011, 06:06 PM
A few weeks back, I started to wonder if the goal I'd set for myself on here was a little too low for me to achieve. However, I do have a good reason for choosing 125, and I DO believe that with some hard work I can do it. The lowest I've weighed at my full grown height is 175, and that was FAR too high. I was unhealthy, very wobbly, and had a lot of excess fat (stomach and hips mostly). So I chose my goal as it was a fair amount lower that 175, but was still in the healthy BMI range. I'm happy to re-evaluate though: if I get to 140 and decide I feel happy, fit and healthy I'll stay there!

I do notice other people's goal weights, but I don't edit my own when I think about them. I actually feel a little better when I see taller people with goal weights the same or lower than mine, as I think if they can do it, surely I can!

I think your goal weight needs to be just an estimate, then you can re-evaluate as you go. It's the only way you'll discover what weight works for you :)

yoyoma
08-23-2011, 06:49 PM
To the OP, we are the same height (including the half inch!) and my original goal weight was the same as yours (150). It was the highest round number in the normal weight range and I was happy to be able to get there (actually, by then I'd already notched it down to 149 'cuz that sounded so much lower, lol!).

But once I was there, after a short breather, I decided to go lower. I tried another ten pounds (139) and after that another ten (129). I am currently trying to regain that goal weight. I fluctuate. Perhaps I would do better trying to maintain a higher weight.

Don't be discouraged if you see others with lower goal weights. If I had simply stayed at 150, in a healthy weight range, I would count that as a great success!

Gabe
08-23-2011, 07:03 PM
Nope. I might give it a moment's thought as I'm browsing, but, honestly, my goal puts me into the healthy BMI range. I've never been there. Even when I was in high school, and I was wearing size 14 and the occasional 12, I was twenty-five to thirty pounds above my goal.

Might I feel differently when I get there? Yep. Maybe I'll go lower. Maybe I'll squeeze my butt into a size six. But if I do that, I'm going to be doing it because I want to, because of how I feel. I'm not going to be doing it 'cause of the numbers that other people've picked. But right now, I'd be pleased as forbidden punch to get to 150.

If I cared that much about what people thought of me, I'd never be able to throw on a swimsuit and haul my overly ample butt to the pool. I'd freeze up at the notion of going to the gym, where all the healthy people live and where I stand out like a swollen and distended sore thumb. I don't, and that means that other people's goals have nothing to do with my own.

It's an easy way to live :D

fitmom
08-23-2011, 07:17 PM
I know this is probably stupid, but sometimes when I see other people on here who are about my height, and have much lower goals, I wonder if I'm not aiming for a good weight?

I see some women who start on here at my goal weight already! Does anyone else have this problem?


I want to answer this, if I may, since we're the same height (within a half inch, lol). I say this: everyone's body type is different. Plain and simple. Everyone develops muscles differently, holds weight in different places. It's not a one-size fits all world...but I'm sure you know that.

I used to beat myself up particularly when I was younger that I didn't compare to my friends, one had thinner thighs, one had bigger boobs, etc. I say just be who you are just an improved, better version, if that makes any sense.

I hope this helps - sorry for the Pollyanna-ish approach but hopefully you understood the point I was trying to make. :)

Wannabehealthy
08-24-2011, 07:51 AM
I'm 5'2" and thinking about just calling the weight I am now maintenance. I've been stuck here for months. I've tried all different kinds of things, and I've been so frustrated. I'll loose a pound, and then gain it right back. Am I a quitter? I guess at least I can say I'm not gaining.

You are definately NOT a quitter! Look at all you have lost! Is 137 so much different from 130 at this point? When I lost weight the first time, I wanted to be 125. I could get there, but only for a couple days, then back up I went. My body seemed to settle in at 135. But trying to get back down to 125 always kept me at maintenance. Until I eventually gained it all back and then some....but that is another story altogether!

Carol

Matilda08
08-24-2011, 11:46 AM
No because my goal weight isnt as important as my goal size! I am going for a certain size and just picked a goal weight that i thought would get me to the size i want to be. I am more concerned with how I look then what the scale says. I want to like how I look in my clothes and somewhat out of them

2sw33t
08-24-2011, 03:02 PM
I do notice and think about it, but one of the great things about 3FC is the variety of people - there are bound to be some with higher goals than you, and bound to be some with lower goals. I think seeing the wide range of goals helps me feel okay with whatever number I end up at, as long as I'm satisfied with the result.

For me right now, goal is really a direction - lower. I know where I'm at is not goal. I like the idea of getting down to, say 135, but I know I was pretty happy before with how I looked and felt at 160, and I expect that my DH would ask me to stop losing weight long before I got to 135. I picked 150 because it was about the lowest I got before and because it was a nice, round 100 lbs down from my SW.

TransformingMyself
08-24-2011, 04:38 PM
I determine my goal weight from experience. I am 5' 8 3/4", I know what my body is like at certain sizes. 8 years ago, I weighed 161, and was not completely happy, after losing 70 lbs. Then my mom passed away, and I went off plan, and never hopped back on the wagon. I am doing a lot more strength exercises (pull-ups, pushups etc), so my body will be different this time around. I guess I will find out when I get there. ;)