Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Is Anybody HAPPY??




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k8yk
08-19-2011, 06:29 PM
I just wondered this today, looking over the topics here- hate my thighs, hate my belly, hate my cellulite, need tummy tuck, hate my stretch marks, hate my boobs....

I just wondered- can't we ever just be HAPPY with our bodies? Yeah, maybe we aren't perfect, but NOBODY is perfect! Airbrushed models on magazines aren't perfect. Celebrities aren't perfect. None of my friends are perfect!

But they are all beautiful! If my friend said "I hate my thighs" I'd tell her she's silly and perfect the way she is. So why not ME?

Our bodies are so much more than what they look like. We (maintainers) have lost a lot of weight and we should be PROUD and CELEBRATE! But instead I just see so much misery :(

So tell me why you're HAPPY about your new body (and NO caveats- like you can't say "I love my belly except this loose skin & stretch marks." Just say "I LOVE MY BELLY!" Say it, damn it! You will feel better, lol.

I have so many of the same issues (cellulite, loose skin, stretch marks, etc) I see berated on this forum and you know what, SCREW IT! I do not need to be perfect to be happy. I LOVE my 125-lb-lighter HEALTHY body exactly the way it is. :D

Just had to get that off my chest.


anthem
08-19-2011, 06:41 PM
I am totally on the same page!! I feel like the pursuit to lose weight has driven me to focus on appearance, losing sight of health. I also feel that I will never be happy with my body and am never satisfied with anything really.

I actually started using this resource website that gives easy to use breathing exercises and meditations - focused on finding more joy in your life - and being content with the present moment. Heres the link if your interested: http://www.mindfulbody.com/ (http://www.mindfulbody.com/)

JoJoJo2
08-19-2011, 06:41 PM
Well I'm happy! I'm very happy! I lost 65 lbs. and I'm quite happy about it. :)

But the thing is, I was pretty happy when I was fat!!!

I think the happy people continue to be happy, and the people that like to gripe will continue to find something to gripe about when they lose whatever weight they are going to lose.

Losing weight doesn't particularly change basic personalities. If you are a sour person you will continue to be a sour person, if you are a happy person you will continue to be happy.

For the most part that is. I suppose there are some exceptions, but I really don't know of any. People that like to gripe will always be able to find something to gripe about, that, I'm afraid, is just human nature.


k8yk
08-19-2011, 06:49 PM
It's ME! I'm totally different now. I used to be cynical, sarcastic, pessimistic, complaining, whining etc. Now I'm positive, optimistic, hopeful, and GRATEFUL for everything I have. I honestly think I just finally GREW UP! It's like one day I woke up and thought "WHAT am I doing?? You only live once. Yeah, some things in life are sucky, but so what? It's what I do with it that matters!" It's not really losing weight that did it- but taking care of my health and trying all these new things and succeeding- definitely had something to do with it.

k8yk
08-19-2011, 06:50 PM
I am totally on the same page!! I feel like the pursuit to lose weight has driven me to focus on appearance, losing sight of health. I also feel that I will never be happy with my body and am never satisfied with anything really.

I actually started using this resource website that gives easy to use breathing exercises and meditations - focused on finding more joy in your life - and being content with the present moment. Heres the link if your interested: http://www.mindfulbody.com/ (http://www.mindfulbody.com/)
This is AWESOME! Please check out my blog too, I think you will like it (link below) Thank you for sharing!

Charin
08-19-2011, 07:10 PM
I LOVE MY BODY!!!!!!

And so does DH :)

luckymommy
08-19-2011, 07:17 PM
k8yk, I think I grew up as well....even though it took me 40 1/2 years! ;) I have lost 70 lbs. lots of times and whenever I got thinner, I always found something to be unhappy with, but now, even though I still have my imperfections, I usually feel really good about myself! :) :) :) I have only maintained now for a little while, but I do feel like this is who I am now....much more positive.

k8yk
08-19-2011, 11:31 PM
My boyfriend loves my body now and he loved it when I weighed almost 300 pounds! Why shouldn't I? Hooray for our men.

luckymommy, it took me 33 years. I'm hoping I can reach at least a few people in their twenties too so they can get on with the important things in life instead of being all hung up on body-hatred or body-discomfort.

kelly315
08-20-2011, 12:21 AM
We all have things we hate about ourselves, no matter how perfect we seem to be on the outside. And we all have things that we covet from other people. I love this Joy Nash skit. I think it sums it up pretty well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFmVj5BXCxM

twinmommaplusone
08-20-2011, 01:16 AM
I love my legs, I love my collar bones :)

k8yk
08-20-2011, 09:36 AM
I love my calves & ankles!

runningfromfat
08-20-2011, 09:40 AM
I love my thinner face, my thighs/calves, and my growing biceps!

Lori Bell
08-20-2011, 09:49 AM
I love being thin. I'll never have surgery to correct body parts.

Even though this is not what you are asking I want to add that I've actually had fat people "suggest" that I should have surgery. It's pretty funny when a 240 pound friends suggest that you get a boob job. I want to say something like, "well, I could get fat like you and have my boobs again." :devil: I think some of the reason that we feel insecure sometimes is because other people like to point out our faults. :dizzy:

ETA: My husband one time suggested breast implants/lift as well. I told him I would get a boob job after he got a penile implant. Shut him up pretty quick. :D

luckymommy
08-20-2011, 12:13 PM
ETA: My husband one time suggested breast implants/lift as well. I told him I would get a boob job after he got a penile implant. Shut him up pretty quick. :D[/QUOTE]
:rofl:

k8yk
08-20-2011, 01:42 PM
If my boyfriend suggested I get a boob job, I'd dump him.

I love my boobs! (and yes, they look just like one would expect a woman who went from 40DD to 36C and is 33 years old to look.)

JennyT
08-20-2011, 08:02 PM
Thought I would jump in, I am far from where I would like to be, but I love my wrists, odd part to love but I do! They are so slender and finally some part of me looks delicate! I love my thinner face too :)

puneri
08-20-2011, 08:44 PM
I love my body at the ag of 59 years, it is responding to my diet and exercise. Now, i can run 4.5miles/hr for about 2 min at a strech. Then I reduce speed and again increase it. About 6 months back I cud walk 3.3 miles/hr for 5 min or so.

georgeshair
08-21-2011, 02:03 PM
I love my face, now that I can see the cheekbones and the double chin is disappearing. I also love that fact that I still have a waist, instead of just straight going up and down - I like to emphasise it with belts, which I couldn't do before.

JOLINA
08-21-2011, 03:04 PM
I lost over 40 pounds, and so far my body looks great. No sagging or loose skin.
I hope it stays that way. I have a lot more to lose.

But I am really feeling much better also. And most of my health problems have disappeared.

So if my body gets saggy and baggy, I am just going to accept it and ignore it and enjoy life.

:sunny:

HE WHO STUFFETH...
PUFFETH!

MiniMeee
08-22-2011, 12:16 PM
I love that I look like a woman with all the curves in the right places. I love that I can feel my muscles under my skin. I love that I can wear heals and sleeveless shirts again. I LOVE wearing pretty undies and feeling sexy. I love that even with all my stretch marks, loose skin, flabby parts, surgery scars and imperfections....that my husband finds me sexy and beautiful.

All of those imperfections tell a story of my unique journey on this earth and have made me who I am today. I have discovered that when you begin to love yourself for who you are, you are so much more open to love...giving and receiving.

SC Vitamin C
08-29-2011, 04:24 PM
I love all the muscle definition in my upper body - my biceps, triceps, shoulders and back. And the fact that it has made me physically stronger - I can wrestle with the boys! LOL

SanityNow
08-30-2011, 04:22 PM
I've just dropped 5 pounds, but I love the way I feel the day after going to the gym, the way I move more freely and the fact that I'm not having cravings now that I'm eating clean. I have 25 pounds to go to get to normal BMI and am looking forward to continuing to feel good.:carrot:

LiannaKole
09-08-2011, 01:21 PM
Even close to a maintainer, but I loved this thread.

I still have problems taking a compliment (like if someone tells me I have great legs). I'm working on it and getting better about it.

I've never hated my body, not until it became physically uncomfortable to live in it. I don't think it's ugly. It keeps me alive, it's healthy (except for the weight), and it's the only one I'll ever have. I know it pretty well after over 20 years in it. In general, I love all of me. I don't hate any of it, even my belly (which isn't pretty, lol!). I love my hands and legs. They're pretty. :)

I'm glad you hear you guys talking about what you love about yourselves. I want to be able to do that when I get to my goal. So, thanks!

sontaikle
09-08-2011, 03:46 PM
I was happy before and I am happy now. I think I'll be happy at goal too.

fromthebox
09-09-2011, 09:10 PM
I am so happy, and I can say it has VERY little to do with the weight. I've been happy since about 30 pounds ago, when I met the love of my life. Am I healthier now? yes, can I do more things now? yes. I would still be happy if I put those 20-30 pounds back on.

Am I satisfied with my body every day? no. I have fat days like I did when I was 180, but now I have the knowledge and confidence to say "days like these happen, I'll feel better tomorrow and trying to feel better now with a pint of ice cream is not going to work." But most days, I feel pretty good about the results and the hard work I did to earn them, both mentally and physically.

bfk
09-09-2011, 09:16 PM
I can't say I am happy with my body at this moment which is why I am on this site, but that doesn't mean I can't look great. With a little thought in switching up my wardrobe, I still look great! However, I sure will look better with each lb I lose.

shcirerf
10-03-2011, 10:24 AM
Actually, I'm pretty happy with my body.

I'm no spring chicken anymore, I've had kids (stretchmarks galore) and yes a lot of parts have been unable to defy gravity, and headed south. :D

But all in all, when I look at myself naked in the mirror, I think I look pretty darn good.:D

If I were to do any corrective surgery it would be a breast reduction/lift. The girls have always been large and still are. This is not from a looks/vanity standpoint, but simply because they are heavy and get in the way. And I think my back would hurt a lot less.

MariaMaria
10-03-2011, 03:55 PM
Yeah, I'm pretty happy with my body as well.

Hikermc
10-04-2011, 07:57 PM
Wonderful thread!

I love my "new" collarbones and cheekbones. I love that my body is strong, that I can run farther than I ever have before, and that I can try on clothes without cringing when I look in the mirror. I doubt I'll ever love every bit of my body, but in my mind it's been through a war. The stretchmarks and saggy bits are proof that I won :)

lin43
10-04-2011, 08:46 PM
Count me in as another one who has reached a point in my life where I accept my body, regardless of it flaws (in comparison with societal standards). I am still losing but I'm already happy. It is such a relief to not have the angst of being dissatisfied with my body

kaplods
10-04-2011, 09:01 PM
I don't think I ever really hated my body, at least not as much as I thought I was supposed to. I think it's one of the reasons I failed at weight loss for so many decades - I was taught to diet by the self-hatred method, and I never could muster enough self hatred to see me through to the end.

Eventually I'd be unable to sustain the self-hatred, and I'd lose interest in punishing myself and would inevitably go off the diet.

This time, I chose to diet "backwards," in an almost polar opposition to the way I was used to. I decided to make changes I was willing to commit to forever or at least indefinitely even if no weight loss resulted at all, and I started looking at diet/exercise as a way to reward my wonderful self rather than a way to punish the bad me (until I couldn't take the punishment any longer).

I get sick of punishment, but I don't get sick of reward - so I haven't once even thought of giving up, because why on earth would I want to stop pampering myself?

Turns out loving the weight off has been far more successful than hating it off.

milmin2043
10-04-2011, 09:25 PM
I don't think I ever really hated my body, at least not as much as I thought I was supposed to. I think it's one of the reasons I failed at weight loss for so many decades - I was taught to diet by the self-hatred method, and I never could muster enough self hatred to see me through to the end.

Eventually I'd be unable to sustain the self-hatred, and I'd lose interest in punishing myself and would inevitably go off the diet.

This time, I chose to diet "backwards," in an almost polar opposition to the way I was used to. I decided to make changes I was willing to commit to forever or at least indefinitely even if no weight loss resulted at all, and I started looking at diet/exercise as a way to reward my wonderful self rather than a way to punish the bad me (until I couldn't take the punishment any longer).

I get sick of punishment, but I don't get sick of reward - so I haven't once even thought of giving up, because why on earth would I want to stop pampering myself?

Turns out loving the weight off has been far more successful than hating it off.

This is a really nice way to put it into words...thank you kaplods.

How can anyone stick with anything in which they have to hate the process and themselves? It really is ridiculous that our society has tied so much into what we each weigh.

free1
10-05-2011, 01:00 PM
KAPLODS...I totally agree!

Of course, I've never been happy with my weight but I was happy with my life. I felt fulfilled and accomplished a lot of major life goals. I never dealt with depression (except after my surprise pregnancy with my youngest). I actually enjoyed life at over 275 pounds.

While I was/am happy, I realize that my weight caused limitations and I didn't want to live that way anymore. Life wasn't miserable but I believe in reaching for my personal best and my weight has truly been the area that I never mastered. I also felt like food was controlling me and it was. I wanted to be in control and look/feel healthy.

I so agree that dieting because you hate your life is different from dieting because you want your life to be better (although the old one wasn't that bad). Then again, I've been overweight since I was 9 so I don't know any other way of life...

k8yk
10-05-2011, 05:33 PM
I don't think I ever really hated my body, at least not as much as I thought I was supposed to. I think it's one of the reasons I failed at weight loss for so many decades - I was taught to diet by the self-hatred method, and I never could muster enough self hatred to see me through to the end.

Eventually I'd be unable to sustain the self-hatred, and I'd lose interest in punishing myself and would inevitably go off the diet.

This time, I chose to diet "backwards," in an almost polar opposition to the way I was used to. I decided to make changes I was willing to commit to forever or at least indefinitely even if no weight loss resulted at all, and I started looking at diet/exercise as a way to reward my wonderful self rather than a way to punish the bad me (until I couldn't take the punishment any longer).

I get sick of punishment, but I don't get sick of reward - so I haven't once even thought of giving up, because why on earth would I want to stop pampering myself?

Turns out loving the weight off has been far more successful than hating it off.

Love. I could have written that myself :)

amynbebes
10-24-2011, 04:05 PM
It's hard. While I feel completely crazily better clothed, naked? ewww. Saggy skin, cellulite, boobs that are droopy, belly skin that looks melted. I'm definitely happier but just bless the poor soul who I end up in a relationship with because I think I feel worse naked now than I did before.

candice1022
10-24-2011, 09:58 PM
It's hard. While I feel completely crazily better clothed, naked? ewww. Saggy skin, cellulite, boobs that are droopy, belly skin that looks melted. I'm definitely happier but just bless the poor soul who I end up in a relationship with because I think I feel worse naked now than I did before.

amybebes i know what you mean.... stretch marks from kids and weight gain, saggy boobs with stretch marks from kids and weight gain.... i honestly feel the exact same way id rather them see me before with all the weight then now with droopy and saggy skin... and stretch marks and lines ugh just the thot of it makes me sick.... :(