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djs06
08-18-2011, 12:22 PM
Hi all,

I'm wondering a few things:

1. Do you have kids?

2. How old were you when you had your first?

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?

Last week I saw "The Help" and there's this line where the mother says "Your eggs are dying, would it kill you to go on a date?" I laughed and then it got me thinking...

I'm 27. I still don't know if I want kids. If you had asked me a few years ago I would say DEFINITELY NOT. Now I'm leaning towards yes but I feel like I should be more than "leaning" for something like that. I have never felt that I was "born to be a mom" or anything like that. In general I'm nurturing but I wouldn't necessarily call myself maternal...

I've read that the majority of women have their first child between 25 and 29. I for sure won't have a child before I'm 30 due to general life circumstances, but it has hit me within the last few weeks that time goes REALLY fast! So, that's why I'm curious!


ddc
08-18-2011, 12:33 PM
I have 2. My first was born when I was 32, second at 34. I never felt I was the 'mothering' type and still question it at times. I do love my children and they bring me great joy (and heart ache too!! )
Sometimes I wish I'd had them earlier. When my second was in kindergarten, I was asked by another child if I was my daugher's grandmother- lol !!

Kateryna
08-18-2011, 12:34 PM
I have twins and gave birth to them when I was 25.

Crazy enough when we started trying at 22 I thought it would just happen. To my surprise we had unexplained infertility and after 2 years, 3 IUI and 5 IVF (CRAZY!!!) - I finally became pregnant. I think now if I was older, maybe it would not even work.

I decided to have kids because of my genetics and cancer in my family. I was advised to have prophylactic mastectomy and removal of uterus and eggs. I was traumatized by my moms passing when I was 20 and gave myself a word that I would have kids early so in case I die of cancer they would be older than 20. I'm happy I did.


asweetchicagogirl1
08-18-2011, 12:49 PM
Eh, don't sweat it. I'm 29, don't have kids (was very focused on building a career) but want them. I always knew I wanted kids though and loved being able to vicariously parent my sister's kids (she is older than me and had her first kid at 21).

sept15lija
08-18-2011, 12:51 PM
I have two kids, one was born when I was 30 and the other when I was 32. I wanted to have them younger but it took me 3 years to conceive my first. I think I always just kind of thought I'd probably have kids...it didn't become a real desire until a few years after I got married, when I was around 26 I started to feel like I really wanted them. Then of course feeling like I might not have them made the desire even stronger. You are definitely right that time goes very fast (which is not to say you don't have plenty of time to have kids if you want them, because you do! :))!

runningfromfat
08-18-2011, 12:58 PM
Hi all,

I'm wondering a few things:

1. Do you have kids?

Yes

2. How old were you when you had your first?


mid-twenties

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?


Yes

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?


I don't really have any good advice as this is such a personal decision but for my DH and I we always wanted kids. Now how many we have total is another question entirely but we knew we wanted kids and it was never a question for me if I wanted them or not.

Ashley777
08-18-2011, 01:55 PM
I have 2

had them at 18 and 21 - the one at 18 was scary, as I was alone but she is 27 now (sheesh time flies) and she has been and is one of the biggest blessings in my life and her and hubby have three little girls of her own. There are many women in her mommy's group that are 40 and have very young kids.

dont feel pressure to have kids, you will know when or if the time is right for you.

puneri
08-18-2011, 02:08 PM
My frank openion is you should have kids before 30. So the chances of diabetes in pregnancy is less. Also, you have more energy. I had my first at 24 and second at 30..that was late according to me.

jigglefree
08-18-2011, 02:23 PM
1. Do you have kids? Yes

2. How old were you when you had your first? 43

3. Did you always know you wanted kids? I never wanted kids and would tell anyone that would listen that my body wasn't a baby making factory. When I turned 40 I had a change of heart. I really wanted to be married and have 1 child. Three years later I got married and pregnant all in the same year. I'm glad I waited because I make very sound decisions, I don't feel like I'm missing anything because i did it all before I had my daughter. I've never been asked if I was the grandmother and if I am I'm cool with that too.

My ob tried to tell me I wouldn't be able to have them but the God I serve gave me my desires. Then he (my ob) told me I would have health problems because of my age and weight (43 and 247). I took care of myself and never registered high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. I actually lost 15 pounds. The delivery was flawless...of course I requested an epidural. I was out shopping the day after I had her.

Don't rush if you aren't ready. You have time, RELAX!!!

gardenermom
08-18-2011, 02:24 PM
I have 3 kids, my first I had at 30, and the youngest at 37. I felt very strongly as a teenager and 20-something that I did NOT want to have kids. That changed when I reached 30. Probably in part the natural body clock thing. And, for me, I found the right person to have them with. With the partner I was with in my 20s, I couldnt imagine having kids even though he very much wanted them.

NiteOwlMommy
08-18-2011, 03:02 PM
1. Do you have kids? Yes just one

2. How old were you when you had your first? 24

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?I knew I didn't want them before turning 21, I got married and the whole let's try to have a baby thing just randomly came up after trying for 3 yrs we thought it was probably not meant to happen to us I started just treating my chihuahuas as my babies and funny enough when my dog got pregnant so did I LOL

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?
I was in the no kids mindset when I was young just because I raised my younger brother when mom was working the experience of taking care of a baby at such a young age made me not want to have any of my own but of course that changed.

Lovely
08-18-2011, 03:24 PM
4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?

I'm 28. Never wanted children. Kids are okay, and all, but I've never been that "gotta be a mommy and pass down my genes" type of person. I never even entertained the possible idea of a thought of being a mother until I was in my mid-twenties when I did consider the entire idea of being a parent.

That being said, I do so love to change my mind from time to time. So when my husband and I got married, it was well-discussed that while we didn't want children at this point in our lives that it wasn't an absolutely never no. Though, it may be an absolutely never no... it just wasn't guaranteed.

I still don't feel like I'm in a rush to have tiny humans. I don't think I'll ever be in a rush.

I'm also one of those people that doesn't feel the need to raise my own genes. If I get to the point where I do want kids, but having the babies pop out of me isn't an option, then I'll gladly look into fostering/adoption. Heck, that might even be my first choice. Who knows?

Again. Not in a rush.

djs06
08-18-2011, 03:25 PM
Thanks everyone! I alternate between feeling young, like I should be much further along in my career that's basically at a standstill, to feeling old and like I need to do this now (which is very new). My partner is also undecided, and we'd have to go throguh IF, or adoption... The "oops" factor is not going to happen, so...

I really like reading people's thoughts on this. It relieves me to know I'm not the only undecided one, but I'm also happy for the people who were able to have the kids they've always wanted!

sheramama
08-18-2011, 09:08 PM
1. Do you have kids? Yes, 2

2. How old were you when you had your first? 21 with my daughter, 24 with my son

3. Did you always know you wanted kids? Yes, I just never intended to have them this young. I always thought I would have them in my 30's.

Don't center your life around having them by a certain age. It should be the right time in your life instead. Women have kids at all ages. I'm 29 and I have friends who had children around the same time I did and friends who are in their thirties who still don't. Don't stress it.

EZMONEY
08-18-2011, 09:53 PM
57 year old male here :)

I knew I wanted kids when I was a teen-ager! I had so much fun with my parents and family growing up I wanted to have the same.

My first wife, mother of my children, was from a family of 6 kids that struggled and I was from a family of 4 kids that struggled economically but less.

We agreed on "shooting" for 2 kids....

Fortunately for us that is what we had, first a son when I was 28 then a girl when I was 30....for many years THAT was the best day of my life, when she was born...

In March, on her daddy's birthday, my GRANDdaughter was born...Now THAT is the best day of my life!!

The greatest achievement in my life....w/o braggin' ;)...is being the best dad ever!!!

I can tell you that my kids....my step-d and the nephew I raised would agree to that too!

ADVICE ~ Life has no guarantees...raising children comes from the heart...it isn't for everybody...

As to whether you should or shouldn't.....you either know or you don't.....

timing isn't always up to you....but....

the want is.....:)

:hug: Good Luck :hug:

alaskanlaughter
08-18-2011, 10:27 PM
i have two boys, one is 5 and the other is 13

i was 19 when i got pregnant, 20 when he was born, and my other son i was 28 or 29 when he was born

i always said, when i was younger, that i dont want kids, i only want grandkids LOL....but now that i'm older the primary focus of my life is on children, not just my own, but other relatives that we've helped foster-raise and with the students at my school with my job

we are not currently having any more kids because we can't afford the combination of mortgage plus two children in full-price childcare....i also personally do not want another 2 years of being up half the night with little babies lol

Tea Granny
08-18-2011, 10:40 PM
Grandkids are God's reward for not killing your own. :)

juliana77
08-18-2011, 11:02 PM
My son was born when I was 26. I always, always wanted kids. I got married young (22) because I was in such a hurry to have a baby (I never thought past the baby part). He was in the military, so due to deployments it was 4 years before we had one. The marriage didn't last, and the older my son gets, the less I want another someday. I love being an auntie, so that cures any temporary baby cravings. I wish I had appreciated my freedom while I had it. I love my son, don't get me wrong, but it can be a drag to find a good babysitter!

chickadee32
08-19-2011, 12:00 AM
I don't have children, but not for lack of desire to have them. :)

I always knew I wanted children, and the urge to get started hit me around 27 or so, but it took my husband longer to be ready. We finally started trying to conceive a little over a year and a half ago, when we were both 31. After ~17 months of trying we found out in June that we were pregnant, but after a few weeks it became apparent that it was an ectopic pregnancy. I was in intense pain and required surgery to remove the pregnancy, and when my surgeon got in there he found that I have severe endometriosis. We won't be able to continue to try to get pregnant the usual way as the chances of another ectopic pregnancy are too high, but we will be starting IVF this fall.

I'd say that as long as nothing in your medical or family history suggests that you might have infertility issues, there's no big rush to get started soon, especially if you're not really sure it's what you want.

I will say though that I'm glad we found out about my condition now (I just turned 33), as the chances of success with fertility treatments really starts to decline after the age of 35. At the fertility center I'll be going through they won't even do IVF with your own eggs past the age of 38. If you can't conceive naturally, your options just become more limited as you reach your mid and late 30s.

shishkeberry
08-19-2011, 09:17 AM
I have two. I had my first at 21 and my second last year at 27. I always thought I wanted kids but didn't really think that my lack of patience would make mothering hard. It's definitely a struggle and although I love my kids sometimes I wish I could run away and be single and free. I wish I had waited longer. Both of my kids are oops babies.

XLMuffnTop
08-19-2011, 12:53 PM
I have two kids age 11 months and a 4 year old. I was 23 and just shy of 27 when I had them. The first wasn't exactly planned but we already knew we'd have kids. My husband had an older son from a previous marriage and was part of a big (five boys! :eek: ) family. I'm actually happy with the timing of our kids' births; if we waited longer my husband would have been in his 40s and that just didn't suit our style.

Like other parents have chimed in, kids are challenging and each one is so different, even siblings/twins. It's pretty normal to long for the solitude of single life or married with no kids sometimes. I think I'd look at someone funny if they said they never got frustrated, irritated or just plain fed up being a parent.

Having kids is so personal and it varies for everyone. Some people don't intent to get pregnant and turn out to be great parents and others.. well not so much. Sometimes people long for children and can't have them and go on to do great things in their lives that really make an impact either locally or globally. Kids do not define you. You're obviously putting a lot of thought in this and that's the best thing you can do to ensure your decision is best for your life, not someone elses.

sniperhil
08-19-2011, 02:57 PM
Originally posted by XLmuffintop: Like other parents have chimed in, kids are challenging and each one is so different, even siblings/twins. It's pretty normal to long for the solitude of single life or married with no kids sometimes. I think I'd look at someone funny if they said they never got frustrated, irritated or just plain fed up being a parent.

Having kids is so personal and it varies for everyone. Some people don't intent to get pregnant and turn out to be great parents and others.. well not so much. Sometimes people long for children and can't have them and go on to do great things in their lives that really make an impact either locally or globally. Kids do not define you. You're obviously putting a lot of thought in this and that's the best thing you can do to ensure your decision is best for your life, not someone elses.


Love what the above poster said!


I have 2 children, ages 4(daughter) and 22 mos(son). I didn't play "mommie" or house or anything like that when I was growing up, so I never pictured myself being a mother. When I met my husband, I began wanting children. It was such a foreign feeling! I had my daughter when I was 22 and my son when I was 24 (almost 25). They were both planned.

It turned out to be perfect timing. Both times we would start "trying", we would hear that my husband's brother and his wife had conceived! So, our oldest kids are 9 wks apart and the babies are 5 wks apart! Perfect for play dates. Even funnier is the difference in ages for me and my sister in law: 9 years. So please don't feel like you're running outta time. Children are a blessing, time them so they stay that way!!!!! ;) Love all the input in this thread

Munchy
08-19-2011, 03:20 PM
1. Do you have kids?
I have one almost 4 year old daughter.

2. How old were you when you had your first? I was 25 when I gave birth to her.

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?
I didn't want kids at all, and ended up with a surprise (and blessed, though I didn't know it at the time) pregnancy. I have never wanted to birth children, though I thought I was an excellent step-mother. It turns out that I'm also a pretty good bio mom, but I still don't really like kids other than those that are close to me. The "aww, babies" gene skipped right over me.

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?
N/A

Latchkey Princess
08-19-2011, 09:21 PM
1. Do you have kids? Yes, 3 kiddos. 3.5 years old, 22 months and almost 4 months. We're still debating having another, but feel we're probably done.

2. How old were you when you had your first? I was 24 with my first, 26 with my second and 27 with my third

3. Did you always know you wanted kids? Always, I've never wanted anything more than to be a wife and mom. I really have no interest in doing those "young" things like partying or traveling unless it's with my kids/dh. It's what I've always felt I was destined to do in life. I'm one of those girls who was always babysitting and taking care of other people's babies and couldn't wait to have my own. In fact dh and I tried for around 5 years to get pg before we had our first, she's our miracle baby.


But not everyone knows for sure, and it's good that you're taking the time to think it through and decide before rushing into anything. Good luck with your decision!

GonnaTurnHeads
08-20-2011, 12:40 AM
I will be 28 in a few months and I do not have any kids.

I go back and forth on it quite a bit, I *think* I want kids, but when I'm around other people's screaming toddlers, going home to my place, where I can watch whatever I want on TV, sleep in however long I like... it's blissful.

I also consider the fact that before I have kids, I want to have a masters degree and be a home owner - to feel settled in somewhere which is pretty much the opposite of how I feel right now.

That being said, if I happened to get pregnant, I would be happy. However, I'm not about go *trying* to get pregnant. If, by whatever chance, I didn't end up getting pregnant on my own by my mid-30s, I would probably choose to adopt. If my boyfriend were more keen on kids right now, I would probably be more open to trying but he isn't sure he ever wants children - a thorny part of our relationship.

retrogirl
08-20-2011, 02:16 AM
I've never played with baby dolls, never felt that tug outside of raising baby/sick animals.
We've always wanted the couples-only lifestyle since we were dating :)
I know there are lots of great parents out there though, my friends will be included in that group shortly..I hope I hope.

Ryler832
08-20-2011, 10:50 AM
1. Do you have kids?

I have 2 children

2. How old were you when you had your first?

My first was at 20 and my second at 27

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

I am the 3rd oldest of 10 children. I was responsible for all my siblings, getting them fed before/after school, waking them up for school, picking them up from school, looking out for them after school. I was sheltered. When I graduated high school and went on to college, I didn't want any children. I just wanted to be able to live a care free life. My care-free life changed when I became pregnant at 19. After having my 1st I didn't want any more kids but as the years came and went, I felt incomplete. I tried and tried to conceive a 2nd child but ended up with 5 miscarriages. After 7 years I was able to conceive via in vitro fertilization.

Although I did not want any kids in the beginning, I would not change anything. My children made me who I am today.

meg86
08-20-2011, 11:31 AM
Do I have children: 1

How old was I when she was born: I got pregnant at 18 and had her at 19

Did I know I always wanted kids: No, Id always said I didnt want any children and was set on that (granted I was 18) but then once I knew I was pregnant there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would have and raise her. Her dad and I stayed together for 2 years after her birth.

I do want more children...I didn't actually feel that way until I turned 23 and the urge has gradually gotten stronger. I am engaged to be married in spring of 2013. We plan to have atlest 1 child together, maybe 2.

I don't mind having children in my later 20's, but I wouldn't want to wait into my 30's. There are random personal reasons. I'd like my DD to be able to have a sibling close to her age and I have a hard enough time being energetic as it is...I need all the help of age on that one I can get.

Do what works for you though! Kids are a life changing event. My 5 year old is currently begging me to play an online girly dress up game while I'm trying to write this and we are watching Barbie in Paris for the 3rd time today (it's 10:3am)....it's a different kind of nice :D

theCandEs
08-20-2011, 01:30 PM
1. Do you have kids? Yes

2. How old were you when you had your first? 43

3. Did you always know you wanted kids? I never wanted kids and would tell anyone that would listen that my body wasn't a baby making factory. When I turned 40 I had a change of heart. I really wanted to be married and have 1 child. Three years later I got married and pregnant all in the same year. I'm glad I waited because I make very sound decisions, I don't feel like I'm missing anything because i did it all before I had my daughter. I've never been asked if I was the grandmother and if I am I'm cool with that too.

My ob tried to tell me I wouldn't be able to have them but the God I serve gave me my desires. Then he (my ob) told me I would have health problems because of my age and weight (43 and 247). I took care of myself and never registered high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. I actually lost 15 pounds. The delivery was flawless...of course I requested an epidural. I was out shopping the day after I had her.

Don't rush if you aren't ready. You have time, RELAX!!!

I'm so happy to hear this story. My cousin is pregnant for the first time at age 44. I'm glad things turned out so well for you. It gives me hope for her.
Thanks!

theCandEs
08-20-2011, 01:36 PM
1. Do you have kids?

Yes, I have 2, ages 7 and 11. Both boys. :)

2. How old were you when you had your first?

I was 27 with my first, and a month shy of 31 with my second.

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

NO. It was not until I met my future husband and then married him that I even thought about it. I didn't want any before that.

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?

As an aside, I don't regret it at all. I think I would have regretted it more if I had not had any. I never wanted any, but when it happened, I realized how much I was missing by not having them in my life. Now, this is just my personal experience. Some people are not cut out for having children, and that's okay, but I'm so glad I did.

melanie579
08-20-2011, 01:48 PM
I'm 32 and having my 2nd baby any day. I also have a 16 month old. I never thought I'd have kids honestly. I could see myself being a single, no kids independent woman doing my own thing all my life, actually I was up until 30. So I can "identify" with that mindset. But at 29 I started having an unusual feeling like I was going to have a baby soon. I started reading about childbirth and any fears starting going away, I felt very comfortable with my body and nature and then 2 weeks before I turned 30 met a new man and was pregnant in 2 months. Then when our baby was 8 months got pregnant again. I just feel like it was meant to be. I think two is all I want though because I'd be overwhelmed with more than that I think.

Koshka
08-20-2011, 02:54 PM
I have on biological child born the week after I turned 40. He was conceived through using fertility drugs and procedures (not IVF).

In my 20s I had no interest really in having children. I didn't get married until I was 37 and by then I did want at least one child. Looking back -- sure it would have been nice to have a child younger and not have had the fertility issues (having my son involved surgery for both my DH and me). But...I didn't find the guy to marry until I was 37.

When my son was born I was blown away by how much I loved being a mom (and really I wasn't much of a baby person before). I knew that my chances of conceiving another child weren't great and weren't worth even trying for. When I was 46 we internationally adopted 3 and 8 year old siblings.

mommytosonja
08-20-2011, 08:57 PM
I have one child that I adore. I always knew that I wanted children. I would have had a second had my husband been willing. I was almost 36 when she was born. I also had fertility issues. it took 3 years for us to conceive our miracle! I don't necessarily think that age is a factor when considering to have a child. I believe that it is more what you do with you child when you have them!
Lacey

MosesMom1
08-20-2011, 10:06 PM
I'm 23 and I don't have kids. My DH and I are both on the same page which is finish school (by the time I graduate, our only debt will be the mortgage and a student loan for 1 year), work for a few years, and then CONSIDER having kids. I think having kids is definitely a choice and something to be planned for.
I don't know if we will ever have them... they still get on my nerves. I know everyone says "your own kids won't get on your nerves". I have trouble believing that! Who knows... maybe we will and maybe we won't, but I think anyone thinking of having them should be 100% sure before taking the dive because there's no turning back!

Tanna Banana
08-20-2011, 10:29 PM
1. Do you have kids?

Yes, two girls. One will be 4 in December, and we just had our second on Tuesday.

2. How old were you when you had your first?

25 with our first. I'm 28 now.

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

Yes. I always thought I would have kids. I was really sure I would in my late teens, and when I got married in 2003, we knew we would have kids at some point. We both graduated college first and I taught for a year before having our first daughter. It has worked out really good for our family.

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?

It doesn't apply... but I have friends who havent had kids for various reasons.I think it's a very personal decision between the couple, and as much as I love being a mother, I would never impose my views about it on others. :)

sacha
08-21-2011, 11:10 AM
Hi all,

I'm wondering a few things:

1. Do you have kids?
Yes, 1, 14 months

2. How old were you when you had your first?
25

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?
I never wanted one before I got pregnant. Could not picture myself as a mother.

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?

Last week I saw "The Help" and there's this line where the mother says "Your eggs are dying, would it kill you to go on a date?" I laughed and then it got me thinking...

I'm 27. I still don't know if I want kids. If you had asked me a few years ago I would say DEFINITELY NOT. Now I'm leaning towards yes but I feel like I should be more than "leaning" for something like that. I have never felt that I was "born to be a mom" or anything like that. In general I'm nurturing but I wouldn't necessarily call myself maternal...

I've read that the majority of women have their first child between 25 and 29. I for sure won't have a child before I'm 30 due to general life circumstances, but it has hit me within the last few weeks that time goes REALLY fast! So, that's why I'm curious!

I never wanted one until I met a man worth being a father. Still, being non-maternal at the start, not understanding the impact of parenthood, and having a difficult circumstance (my son was born with a birth injury and acid reflux disease, plus food intolerances which made sleep deprivation and 24/7 screaming a night mare) led to postnatal depression for the first year. Now, he is the light of my life although there are times I wish I had more freedom. But that's normal and he has made my life richer.

kimicat76
08-21-2011, 02:38 PM
i have one son. he was born when i was 23. he was an unexpected surprise as my husband was told when he was younger he couldnt have kids. i didnt think id be ready but i was. i was scared to death when they told me i would be a c-section. but hey after 12 hours of labor and no dilation, they had to get him out (my water broke at 8:27am and he was born via c-section at 8:28pm) i always knew i wanted kids but thought id be closer to 30. now im 26 and were talking about maybe trying in a year or two for a baby girl =) its very trying at times and sometimes i want to pull my hair out but in the end i love my lil guy more than ANYTHING in this whole world. i love hearing him say momma and daddy and when we teach him to count its very cute when he messes up his numbers lol

toodles11
08-21-2011, 03:58 PM
1. Do you have kids?

Yes, 2 of them.

2. How old were you when you had your first?

22 (I got married when I was 18...and still married! :D)

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

I never felt this absolute LOVE of kids. Actually, little kids have always annoyed me. I thought I probably would want kids down the road when I'm older, more financially established, etc. When I was 21, I had a friend that had a baby & I spent a lot of time with them. It gave me baby fever. I now am a mom of 2. I love MY kids but ask me to spend a few hours with a class full of preschoolers is like asking me to rip my own fingernails off one by one. Ha! We are done having kids as 2 is a good number for us and I feel perfectly content with our little family.

claire0412
08-22-2011, 12:29 PM
My frank openion is you should have kids before 30. So the chances of diabetes in pregnancy is less. Also, you have more energy. I had my first at 24 and second at 30..that was late according to me.

My frank opinion is that statement is ridiculous! You shouldn't encourage people to have children they aren't even sure they want just because their risk of gestational diabetes (a completely manageable disease) is a bit lower if they are under 30.

I will be 26 this year and I don't have any children yet, nor do I forsee having them for the next few years. I've just finished up with my MA, need to do teacher training and work for at least a year before I consider children. My mum always told me to make sure you have a decent career with which you can support a family before you have children, just in case the relationship goes pear shaped.

Good advice but I do think it a cultural thing. Maybe if I had finished school at 18 and worked ever since I'd be more willing to consider it. In the US it seems to be more common to marry and have children at a very young age. Over in Europe we do things much later.

As it is I need to get travelling (although i'd go travelling with kids, good for them!) and career out of my system before I get pregnant. I do get extremely broody though, and I have always known I've wanted children.

Arctic Mama
08-22-2011, 07:55 PM
1. Do you have kids? Yes, three so far.

2. How old were you when you had your first? 20 with my first, then 22 and 24, respectively.

3. Did you always know you wanted kids? Yes, I just never intended to have them this young. I always thought I would have them in my 30's after a having a career and such, but God had other plans. Shortly after I married my husband we were expecting, and when I had one I knew I had to have more!

Don't sweat the age thing. I have heard pregnancy is generally easier and recovery is faster with younger moms, but that's just a generalization and being in your mid-30's and having kids isn't exactly one foot in the grave :lol: in hindsight, I now advise people to not wait for a perfect time to have kids (there isn't one), but rather to go for it when they feel the urge. Whether than is sooner or later is a very individual thing.

As for me, children are a huge blessing in my life and give my husband and I a lot of joy. I wish the same for you, if that is your goal :)