Weight Loss Support - No one noticed :(

View Full Version : No one noticed :(

08-16-2011, 07:10 AM
Since 6/1, I've been counting calories & exercising (after about 5 years of gaining). I've gone from a size 14 to a loose size 12 / tight size 10. However, so far, only one person has noticed I've lost weight. I'm visiting my family this week after not seeing them for 6 months, and I flat out asked my sister to be truthful about whether she noticed I've lost weight. She said she couldn't tell. Now, granted, I had gained weight since my last visit and lost that gained weight since June, but I'm still about 5 lbs. smaller than I was during my last visit home (I'm estimating that I've lost about 12-15 lbs. since June).

I guess there's no real purpose to the post but to vent a little. :( It's sort of discouraging to have barely any positive comments on my weight loss. It makes it seem as if it's not really happening.

08-16-2011, 07:34 AM
I have lost almost 10 lbs since the middle of June (i believe june 12th is when I started) &.no one has really noticed either. A co worker made a comment about my stomach looking flater, which was nice. But like you, is the only comment I have heard. Talking about weight can make people uncomfortable or they may be afraid it makes you uncomfortable. feel good about the progress you have made, I am sure you look great!

08-16-2011, 07:35 AM
Are you doing it for yourself or for validation from other people? Because I really think you need to lose weight to make yourself happy. If you notice, that's what matters, right?

08-16-2011, 07:45 AM
I here you. I'm down about 27 pounds. My mom noticed right away, because she would, but no one else has. 27 lbs is not chump change. There's nearly 15% less of me and nothing. Gah!

08-16-2011, 07:57 AM
I know I'm doing this for myself but I would be lying if somewhere deep inside me I'm also doing it for validation. Right or wrong it's the truth. I WANT people to notice, I WANT people to compliment me. I know how vain that sounds and I am working on "wanting" something more than that...but alas, I'm not there yet.

I AM a work in progress...in so many ways and on so many levels....

08-16-2011, 08:05 AM
Sometimes, people are uncomfortable in talking about weight issues with people. And.....sometimes, it takes a good bit of weight to be lost. And....then, sometimes it takes weeks for people to notice.

Keep up the good work! We will validate for you! Stay healthy and strong.

08-16-2011, 09:18 AM
I think it depends a lot on where you carry your weight (hips or tummy or face or arms) and where you lose it first when it comes to people noticing it. A friend of mine who I only see every other month or so lost steadily lost weight, but I didn't notice until she lost about 15 pounds. She kind of carries her weight all over, though, so there wasn't a dramatic difference in any one spot, which I think is why it took me so long to notice.

Congrats on your loss! Keep it up, and everyone will be noticing soon!!

08-16-2011, 09:20 AM
Just because no one mentioned it doesnt mean no one noticed. People shy away from talking about weight because so many people are sensitive on the subject. I mean I am in this mom's group and we've talked about sex, breastfeeding, birth stories, incontinence, vomit, poop, you name it. But weight? eeeeesh.

08-16-2011, 09:27 AM
Sometimes people notice, but just don't comment for whatever reason. They might think that you look really nice today, but not realize why. Give it time.


April Snow
08-16-2011, 09:53 AM
if I read this right and you have a net loss of 5 lbs since you saw your family, that's not really a dramatically different amount of weight, so I can understand why they might not notice that much of a difference.

With the people you see regularly, the ones who saw you go from your high to your current low, it's probably a combination of things - some people just do not comment on weight. They don't want to offend and some people get offended - like "Oh, thanks, but if I look so good now, are you saying that I looked really bad 15 lbs ago?" They may have been burned before saying something, so now they just don't but that doesn't mean they haven't noticed the change.

Also, without knowing your current weight, 12-15 may not be quite enough to make the difference. For me, it's usually not until I lose 10% of my starting weight where things really get noticeable. And it also made a difference that once one person said something, I started talking more about it too, explaining the plan I was on and letting them know I had lost that much.

However, while some people have started to say something, others don't. I saw one group of friends a couple of weeks ago and mentioned I had lost over 30 lbs and they were "oh, that's great!" but no one noticed it or even acknowledged it when I mentioned it, like saying "I thought you had lost weight!"

So basically, there is no real explanation why some people do or don't say anything. It's nice to get compliments and the extra encouragement is always good but hang in there. You are doing great and I'm sure feeling great, and that's what it's about. And at some random point, someone will say "hey, have you lost weight?" and you'll get that external validation. But in the meantime, YOU know that you are making progress.

08-16-2011, 09:55 AM
If you're not much smaller than your last visit home, then it's perfectly understandable that they didn't notice! It usually takes a pretty significant loss before people are comfortable enough to notice and even then not all will comment.

I've lost 40 pounds, gone from a size 14/16 (in the last few months anyway. I was an 18 at one point) to a size 8/10, leaning toward the 8 now. That's pretty significant! Even then, some of my best friends didn't comment, or they didn't say anything until someone else spoke up!

There's a look people give you, especially if they haven't seen you in forever, that you can tell they notice. I've gotten this look A LOT as the last time I saw many of my friends/loved ones was before I began losing weight.

At the gym I go to all of the other regulars feel comfortable commenting on each other's bodies. I guess since we're all after the same thing it's ok or something :D

08-16-2011, 10:00 AM
I'm sorry that they didn't notice. :(

I have to admit that for some friends of mine whose weight tends to fluctuate a lot I can't always remember how big or how small they were the last time I saw them. Instead I just focus on enjoying seeing them again and probably wouldn't comment on it unless they bring it up.

But I know it can be frustrating when no one seem to recognize your efforts. We moved half way through my weight loss journey so I sort of feel cheated out of anybody seeing how far I've come. At least DH notices and once I hit my goal I hope to post a picture on FB. ;)

08-16-2011, 10:11 AM
Most of us have been there. Just keep it up and soon you'll have wonderful reactions--and we'll be reading a new post from you about all the compliments you've received! :) :hug:

08-16-2011, 10:31 AM
Wow a 14 to a 10 is great! Congrats :)

Don't let the fact that no one comments stop you from achieving your goal! Think about it, when you reach your goal size of a size 8 (single digits woo!) people will definitely notice!

Also, do you think it might be due to what you're wearing? I know that in general when I wear my "usual" outfits (jeans and a cute top) it's hard to tell what my body even looks like because all my tops are loose/flowy.

If you try wearing something more form fitting - it doesn't have to be skin tight!! - just something tailored and fitted, it might help show off you new body! Or something that cinches you in more at the waist?

Here are a few things I really liked...maybe you'd consider something like these?



08-16-2011, 11:53 AM
Thanks for all the awesome support, you guys! It definitely made me feel better!

08-16-2011, 12:34 PM
People notice but just don't comment. That is very common. There are all kinds of reasons people may not comment. Some may be afraid that you are losing weight because you are ill. Some just don't know what to say. Some may be afraid you will be embarrassed, all kinds of reasons.

08-16-2011, 12:53 PM
I totally get it! It took almost 20lbs for anyone at work to notice. And even then, it was "I've been meaning to tell you that you look like you've lost weight." Well that means people noticed before but haven't said anything. So I do agree that many people are uncomfortable saying it. That very well could be happening with you. I also agree on the comment above about it depending where you lose your weight. That makes an impact on how soon people notice. People like my sister and 2 particular girlfriends of mine notice a 2lb gain or loss! So they, of course, have been noticing all along. But coworkers and the rest of my friends haven't noticed a darn thing! And I've gone from a snug 10 to a loose 6! In the end, I am doing it for me, so I'll keep plugging away. But I understand the frustration with it :( We work so hard, and we want others to acknowledge a change! Stay the course... It's so worth it!

08-16-2011, 12:57 PM
sorry to rain on your parade here a little bit. but i lost 60 lbs before anybody noticed. that's 60 lbs. i only really started getting comments often after i started re-toning.

truth? i HATE the comments.

have you lost weight? "no, it's just an optical illusion".

you don't need the validation. you should feel healthier.