General chatter - social climbing "friend"




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Gogirl008
08-13-2011, 11:23 PM
I had a couple of friends that have now become best friends. I introduced them. One was an old friend and one was new. I realized the new friend was a social climber, using me to get into new circles. She got what she needed and then discarded me. I didn't see it coming. She has manipulated our relationship to suit her and I just got blindsided. I trusted her.

I'm also kind of dissapointed in the old friend. I don't know how she was so easily taken in by the new friend. Does she not see the wierd obsessive behavior? There has been scheming and highschool-like behaviour involved.

I could let the new friend go with out any problem, but due to a friendship with our kids, I'll be seeing her for the next decade. The old friend, she's like one of those cherished people you come across very rarely. Even though they have bonded I know we still have a rare connection. But I don't think she would understand or believe me if I ever told her the lengths that this other person went to to get to her.

I guess I don't really have a question to ask. I just find myself obsessing over this and feeling hurt. I am skeptical by nature. I feel like I've been used and manipuliated. It's still an occasional issue because I still have contact with both "friends". Not by choice though. I just can't figure out how to be diplomatic when there are such childish games being played by the new friend. As I said, she won't really be going anywhere and she's been careful to make sure that she's covered her a$$ in all communications.

Maybe this all sounds too vague. Just needed to vent because I'm having trouble figuring it out. Thanks for listening....:hug:


CrystalZ10
08-14-2011, 02:09 AM
Ugh sorry your dealing with that. Just know that she'll probably use your friend to get to other people higher up the social network and dump her like yesterdays meatloaf.

Just play nice with her, knowing what she is, and she'll get out of your hair soon enough. :)

astrophe
08-14-2011, 02:14 AM
What lesson do you want to give your kids? How to stay away from toxic people? How to get along with all types?

I'd worry more about them being around this person that your old friend, who is a grown up person and can make their own decisions with eyes wide open.

A.


Gogirl008
08-14-2011, 09:28 AM
Thanks Crystal. Yesterdays meatloaf, lol. You're right. I just need to play nice and let it go. No need for me to lower myself to that level.

astrophe, thanks. She's not a bad person, just a little too self-serving. She hasn't outright lied or been nasty. My kids don't spend time with her, it's the school where I'll see her from time to time.

It makes me doubt if she had much sincerity in our friendship. I take that stuff pretty seriously! I guess, to be honest, I have a twinge of jealousy about the old friend "choosing" her. Who's childish now, lol ;).

I'm going to try to stop thinking about it. I'm giving her more of my time and energy and it just feels too negative. I have great friends and family and I'd do better to focus on them.

I so appreciate being able to vent here. :hug: