General chatter - Women who constantly mention how tiny they are :(




hometowngirl
08-11-2011, 12:19 AM
This drives me nuts! I was at the laundromat tonight & this woman started up a conversation with me. We talked for about 20 minutes and in that time she mentioned to me numerous times about how small she is & has always been. How she would never pick up hitchhikers because she was just a little girl & couldn't defend herself (um.. even if you are a big girl you shouldn't be picking up hitchhikers). We were not even talking about weight so why she kept working her tiny frame into the conversation I have no clue. Yes, lady I can see that you weigh less than 120 lbs. You don't have to keep pointing that out to me & making me feel like amazon woman. I know I have a good 80 lbs on you. That's my rant for the day. LOL! I just don't know why some small frame girls have to keep reminding us how small they are. We have eyes ladies! LOL! I also have a friend who does this a lot too. OK. I feel better now that I got that out! :D


chickyboo
08-11-2011, 12:20 AM
These people are so insecure. They have to bring this up every time they can because they need attention. I wonder if they realize how silly they sound!

hometowngirl
08-11-2011, 01:42 AM
These people are so insecure. They have to bring this up every time they can because they need attention. I wonder if they realize how silly they sound!

I agree with you. That must be why they do it. I wish they knew how silly they sound too. LOL! :dizzy:


Balisong
08-11-2011, 02:08 AM
It has always bugged me (even back in the olden days when I was young and thinner) when skinny chix start saying things like "oooh, I'm so faaat, lookit mee!" when they are clearly just fishing for attention.

When someone who could wear one of my pant legs as a DRESS whines to me about being fat? *GRRR*

Katers88
08-11-2011, 02:08 AM
I have a friend who has always been very tiny and thin... and I HATE when she mentions something about weight gain or anything! One time she said to me "Oh my gosh, one day I noticed some cottage cheese on my thighs so I went out for a 5 mile bike ride!!"
She actually said the other day that her doctor told her that she is TOO thin.
Things like that just drive me crazy!! I wonder what she thinks when she sees me... man!

alaskanlaughter
08-11-2011, 02:36 AM
I have a friend who has always been very tiny and thin... and I HATE when she mentions something about weight gain or anything! One time she said to me "Oh my gosh, one day I noticed some cottage cheese on my thighs so I went out for a 5 mile bike ride!!"
She actually said the other day that her doctor told her that she is TOO thin.
Things like that just drive me crazy!! I wonder what she thinks when she sees me... man!

she probably doesnt think anything at all when she sees you...people like that are way WAYYY too focused on themselves and their own insecurities

Katers88
08-11-2011, 03:21 AM
she probably doesnt think anything at all when she sees you...people like that are way WAYYY too focused on themselves and their own insecurities

You know what, you are so right!!

CrystalZ10
08-11-2011, 03:49 AM
It has always bugged me (even back in the olden days when I was young and thinner) when skinny chix start saying things like "oooh, I'm so faaat, lookit mee!" when they are clearly just fishing for attention.

When someone who could wear one of my pant legs as a DRESS whines to me about being fat? *GRRR*

That's when I agree with them and mention that they look a bit chunky in the waist too. lol

fitmom
08-11-2011, 08:26 AM
I have a slightly different perspective on this. I get told a lot by various people that 'I'm so tiny'...I hate it! Why? It makes me sound like a delicate little porcelain doll or something like that. I know I'm smaller in build, no need to constantly point it out.

Case in point: My son's best friend's mother is a bigger woman compared to me. One of the first things out of her mouth when we initially met was: "OMG, I can't believe how tiny you are. I don't know if I can be seen with you." SERIOUSLY?!? I was so floored that I just stayed silent. Then whenever she sees me, she always makes it a point to tell me she's on some new diet, how she's striving to lose weight and about how she wasn't always overweight. Half the time I walk away scratching my head because my weight is all she seems to focus on and it appears that my being smaller than her makes her very um, insecure about how she looks. I've never once brought up my size and when she does I promptly change or redirect the subject. My son is very friendly with her son so I keep quiet most of the time but her issue with my weight makes me extremely uncomfortable. And for the record, I'm 5'6" and 117 lbs. There are people who are way smaller than me, lol.

I guess it goes both ways. It stinks that we live in a society where appearance is such an issue. There are far bigger things to focus on in life IMO. Hope I didn't derail the thread with my response. :)

shanhat81
08-11-2011, 09:56 AM
I hate it when people bring up their size, my size, the size of someone we both know ... I just change the subject.

saef
08-11-2011, 10:17 AM
Her self-image is highly dependent on being viewed as "petite and finely made." Which she views as a good thing.

Maybe she had a mother who pushed petite as being more dainty and desirably feminine.

Maybe she had a boyfriend or husband who fetishized how small she was because it made him feel bigger & more masculine, and he really needed that assurance a lot of the time.

Heck, a lot of our culture thinks that way, too. It's why people collect miniature items, why dogs are often available in miniature breeds, why "small and cute" seem to go together sometimes, and why babies & children have some inherent fascination because they show us human features seemingly shrunken down.

But the connotations aren't always that great. There's the whole childlike thing, for one. For an adult woman, that identification can be, ah, shall we say, a bit disturbing & problematic? Not only for the sexual connotations, but also for the weakness and lack of autonomy & power in the larger world.

It's good to have an accurate view of your body. (A lot of us struggle with that before & after our weight loss.)

But if your identity mostly depends on your being "tiny," and always seeking assurance that you are indeed tiny, yeah, it is a bit sad. And it does seem "off," like the woman really should not assign so much importance to it.

Like maybe she'd get further by thinking of herself as strong, or resourceful, or empathetic, or full of life experience. Or something other than purely packaging.

Expunge
08-11-2011, 11:37 AM
I hate it when people bring up their size, my size, the size of someone we both know ... I just change the subject.

I agree! It bothers me how other peoples' and my own weight/waistline/clothing size has become an acceptable and normal topic of conversation. I don't even like it when they start talking about celebrities or people so far removed from my own life that they don't affect me!

EagleRiverDee
08-11-2011, 04:45 PM
I just don't bring up weight at all anymore. When I was 225 and clearly overweight, I still couldn't say anything about my weight loss goals to one friend because she was 300+ and she still treated me like that annoying skinny chick that should just shut up. Weight is a sensitive issue for a lot of people.

Glory87
08-11-2011, 04:48 PM
My dearest friend is 4'11" and she mentions her small size a lot because she really hates being so tiny. Being shorter than average can be a real issue for her - the usual stuff of reaching things on shelves that are perfectly reasonable for normal height people but other stuff, too. Example - she was car shopping and she has to specially look for a car she could see over the hood. At 5'7" that is something I had never even considered as an issue. She talks about it because it's a big deal to her.

AriesNV
08-11-2011, 04:54 PM
I don't let these things get to me and I definitely don't judge anyone by it.

I do agree that it's definitely insecurities...but it's NO DIFFERENT than when big girls constantly ask if the jeans make their butt look fat, or when girls constantly say how hot/pretty/cute they are how ugly they are. They're: 1.) fishing for attention 2.) need affirmation constantly and 3.) obsess over what other people think about their image.

Women of all shapes and sizes have this problem...they just ask and talk in a slightly different context.

Some people constantly state the obvious (i.e. "I'm so fat" "I'm so tiny") because they might have always been picked on as a kid for being that certain way. They've learned to cope with that by making fun of themselves. By them stating that they are fat/skinny/4-eyes/etc., they alleviate the situation from becoming hurtful when others may start joking about it.

runningfromfat
08-11-2011, 05:17 PM
I don't let these things get to me and I definitely don't judge anyone by it.

I do agree that it's definitely insecurities...but it's NO DIFFERENT than when big girls constantly ask if the jeans make their butt look fat, or when girls constantly say how hot/pretty/cute they are how ugly they are. They're: 1.) fishing for attention 2.) need affirmation constantly and 3.) obsess over what other people think about their image.

Women of all shapes and sizes have this problem...they just ask and talk in a slightly different context.

Some people constantly state the obvious (i.e. "I'm so fat" "I'm so tiny") because they might have always been picked on as a kid for being that certain way. They've learned to cope with that by making fun of themselves. By them stating that they are fat/skinny/4-eyes/etc., they alleviate the situation from becoming hurtful when others may start joking about it.

Yes to everything there. I had a friend of mine who had been big all her life and then lost a significant amount of weight in a very short period of time (and has kept it off! :carrot:). However, when she initially lost it I heard about it ALL THE TIME. At the time I was trying to lose weight but I've always been a slow loser so it was hard to deal with at times but I just grinned and bore it because I knew that it was something radically different for her (going from always being big to being actually quite small) whereas I had been at a healthy weight before so for me it wasn't as big of a deal. She calmed down a lot over time but I think it was just her wrapping her head around the change and she probably didn't have a place like 3FC to talk about it all the time. ;)

FitGirlyGirl
08-11-2011, 05:22 PM
When the tiny ones who are obviously just looking for attention start telling me how tiny they are I generally respond with something like, "that's awesome for you, how many push-ups can you do?" Since the type of girl we're talking about here has almost always never done a push-up in her life, that generally shuts them up.

KatieC87
08-11-2011, 05:28 PM
That's when I agree with them and mention that they look a bit chunky in the waist too. lol

LOL!

Shmoops
08-11-2011, 05:53 PM
Its really annoying when they mention how they need to go on a diet.....even after being a 4 for ten years! Really?

onagain1
08-11-2011, 10:36 PM
I've got one for you - I have a cousin who is a year younger than me. She is bigger than me. She *thinks* she is shorter than me. However, we are *exactly* the same height. In fact, if she lost some weight and was able to stand up a little straighter, she would probably be taller than me. It's hilarious, because I think I'm an average height. But to her, I'm soooo tall and she is soooo short. I always just laugh inside when she says something about how much taller I am, because it's ridiculously funny. The other day we were shopping, and she asked me to see if I could get down a shirt from a top rack for her since I was so much taller than her. The saleslady turned around and said in a completely deadpan voice, "She is exactly the same height as you; you're not that short." I was dying inside, but I reached up and got the shirt without a word. :)

Beach Patrol
08-12-2011, 02:08 PM
In general, I don't think anyone says anything in order to specifically "hurt my feelings". I don't necessarily think "they're just plain rude!" - Most often, I think they're having some sort of body image issues.

People who are bigger than me have made mention of how "small" I am (I'm NOT...at 163 lbs & 5'3", nope, not small!) and people smaller than me have made mention of how "big" they are (5'8" and 150 lbs... they're NOT big) - IN COMPARISON I mean. Are smaller people fishing for compliments? While it's entirely possible, I would bet more money on their personal unhappiness with whatever part of their body they're focusing on.

So if some (IMO) really cute 120 pound girl makes mention of her "fatness" in my presence, I usually just say "Oh honey, you look great!" without mentioning "no you're not!" or whatever - & just leave it at that. Because IF THEY ARE fishing for a compliment, I figure they must need some sort of confirmation, so I give it to them. And if they really DO "feel fat", then that's a whole'nuther problem for them altogether, which usually includes severe body image issues, so even if they were 105 pounds, they'd probably STILL feel fat -I know, because hey... BTDT! - I felt fat when I was 126 pounds. And GEEZ what I wouldn't give to be "that fat" right now!!! :dizzy:

EagleRiverDee
08-12-2011, 03:56 PM
So if some (IMO) really cute 120 pound girl makes mention of her "fatness" in my presence, I usually just say "Oh honey, you look great!" without mentioning "no you're not!" or whatever - & just leave it at that. Because IF THEY ARE fishing for a compliment, I figure they must need some sort of confirmation, so I give it to them. And if they really DO "feel fat", then that's a whole'nuther problem for them altogether, which usually includes severe body image issues, so even if they were 105 pounds, they'd probably STILL feel fat -I know, because hey... BTDT! - I felt fat when I was 126 pounds. And GEEZ what I wouldn't give to be "that fat" right now!!! :dizzy:

That is a fantastic way to handle the issue! :)

nikkinouille
08-12-2011, 04:45 PM
Sounds like someone is fishing for compliments.

aseret123
08-12-2011, 05:05 PM
It annoys me too, though it's probably just because they need someone to compliment them. I actually experienced something quite hurtful said by someone tiny, though I know that they didn't realise how I would take what they said. I was wearing a belt around my waist, but I took it off because it kept slipping down. The small woman next to me picked it up, put it around her shoulders and said, loudly, "OH MY GOD! I can't believe your waist is this huge!" Needless to say I was rather embarrassed, but I know she only did it because she has a need to feel tiny, and she didn't realise that it would hurt my feelings. We're friends now, and she still regularly brings up how little she is.. no escaping I guess!

theCandEs
08-12-2011, 05:33 PM
Somebody said to me yesterday, "You've lost a ton of weight!!" I have been stuck at the same weight for a long time now, so I said, "Yeah, I've lost some." She said, "No! You've lost a ton of weight!" Huh... I know it's meant as a compliment, but what am I supposed to say to that? "Oh, yeah, I know. I was HUGE!" :lol: Still, I know I've lost weight, but I would like to get some more of this off. I'm not trying to fish for compliments. I really do still need to get some more of this off. Maybe I am just being greedy? I don't know. I have a medium frame, and I can carry a bit of weight and still look decent, but my BMI is still in the "overweight" area. I know BMI is not always right, but I think in my case it is. I'm not a bodybuilder or anything. ;)

As far as this lady goes, I think she is insecure and just trying to make herself feel better by pointing out how small she is to everyone. It's definitely annoying.

VegDay
08-15-2011, 05:30 AM
I find ignoring comments I don't like or don't want to respond to usually works. Usually. Which means of coarse, not always. :)