[Sandi]

So I had my 1st appointment with the psychologist from the eating disorder clinic last night. It was an hour session to "evaluate" me and see what kind of treatment he thought that I needed. The hour went quickly, he asked lots of questions, "and how did that make you feel" LOL . I liked him well enough and at the end he suggested we meet once a week to see if we can get to the bottom of this once and for all. I told him that I have a hard time believing that I got to 320 just because I LOVE food and it makes me feel good. He said that often there is more to it than that. I will post after my sessions if we come up with anything interesting. Who knows, it might just help one of you.

It is pretty expensive - $140.00 a pop. Looks like insurance will be picking up 75% of the first 10 visits (after deductible). I don't know if I will continue after the 10 weeks. $140.00 is pretty steep. Maybe I can see him once a month after that.

I am still pretty motivated, but I know myself and I never stick to it for very long, so maybe seeing him will help.

I was pretty pleased that he didn't ship me off to a nutritionist, I am pretty happy counting calories right now and don't want to change.

[gonzostar]

i saw a play on words there! sandi and the SHRINK! cuz you're SHRINKing.

good luck with it, it's always good to get that outside help when you need it.

[acw]

well done for taking that first step!

Remember a problem shared is a problem halved!

Like you I believe you don't put on that much weight just because you like food! Ther's always an underlying reason and sometimes you just need someone from the outside looking in to help you find it!

Good Luck

Anna

[Jennelle]

Sandi - Good for you for taking that step! I actually had an appointment a few years ago with an eating disorder specialist, but I chickened out. I guess I wasn't ready to face the deeper problems yet.

Keep us posted.

[irishwings]

Sandi, I really admire you! That is really great. . .the one time I was able to talk to someone about what was going on with me, I looked forward to it so much every week! I unloaded everything, and it was freeing. It's amazing what an objective eye and ear can tell you about yourself! (I always internalize so much that I sometimes can't see the forest for the trees!)

Unfortunately I don't have health insurance right now, so I'm not able to do that.

I think that is wonderful that you're doing this. . .

Love, irishwings

[SuchAPrettyFace]

How brave of you, Sandi! Good for you!

[csbutton]

I am proud of you! ! !
It's tough admitting that there is some underlying problem, and then even tougher to say "I can't do this on my own".

With the courage you are displaying and the determination you have I am positive this will help you with your weight loss! ! !

(HUGS)

[Goddess Jessica]

Was it fun or scary?

I always wanted to go to a shrink so that I could have one hour for someone to listen to me objectively and evaluate whatever was going on in my life at that moment. I remember a school psychologist once said, "Sounds like your justifying (fill in the blank)," and I was so awestruck that someone figured that out so fast. A sounding board for my life, that's what I would love, how self indulgent!

So, Sandi, did you get any homework? Anything that you're suppose to do for your next visit?

[Step]

Good for you! I've been to therapists with family members for various causes, but never by myself. I hope you get lots out of it.

[AngiKL]

Hi Sandi:

I don't think we have an eating disorder clinic anywhere near. I've talked to therpists about this food addiction, and tried to talk to my nutritionis about it, but haven't found anyone that gets it.

I went to Overeater's Anonymous for a while, since I know this is my problem, but I found a lot of weirdness there.

Hooray for you! You've inspired me to look into it again.
Angi

[Goddess Jessica]

AngiKL - OA is weird!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I'm happy it works for some people but it was too bizarre for me.

[jiffypop]

wow, sandi. great move... BRAVE move.. i've heard ads around here for a weight loss clinic that says 'it's not what you're eating but what's eating you.' an interesting statement.

yes, it costs $$$$ but we're talking about your life and your health here. and that's priceless...

[rochemist]

I am trying to work through my mental gunk by journaling and listening to what other people do. I know I am not all fat because I eat too much, that is just a symptom. I have rage problems. I have problems saying I feel and I am sorry.

I am the anorexic because my body image is so distorted
I am the bullemic that refuses to puke
I am the overeater that diets

I am learning to be a healthy person with an unhealthy relationship with food.

Miss Chris

[suzie76]

I'm so proud of you! You're doing something wonderful just for yourself!

hugs,
Sherry

[Chunky Spice]

Sandi, first let me say congrats to you for taking that brave step. I too am seeing a counselor right now and she recommended a book to me called:

When Food is Love
by Geneen Roth

I haven't started reading it but plan to do so soon. Just the few sessions that I've had about the eating has really made sense. For instance... this is really elementary but here's one of the things she helped me figure out:

Recently, I got mad at my mother on the phone, WHILE I was STILL on the phone, I caught myself.... shoving cookies in my mouth.

"How did that make me feel?" the therapist asked
"Mad." I replied
"Mad at who?" she asked
"Mad at me for eating those cookies" I replied.

Do you see what I did? Instead of getting mad at my mother (which I should have) I ate cookies and gave myself an excuse to be mad at ME instead of being mad at her. I should have just felt the anger and told my mother that she'd made me angry which would have released my feelings, instead, I supressed them and then at the cookies to let me vent my anger at myself.

Like I said.... that was an elementary example, but it's really helping me to figure things out. I'll look forward to hearing updates from you and I'll be sure to let you know how I like the book.