Weight Loss Support - Do you give yoursel credit for the progress, even if it feels harder than it 'should'




xty
08-05-2011, 10:58 PM
This is something I have been dealing with and wondered if it might be something others could empathize with.

Whether I was 125lbs or 240lbs, I have often felt like I had to work much harder than most people to cover basic "self-care". When I say self-care I mean dealing with my eating (and possible ED flare ups), managing my weight, working out, sleeping, etc sometimes feel like they take up SO much energy to do well at all.

Life doesnt feel hard, I kick *** at my job and can navigate social situations well, etc. Just the parts of life that involve taking care of myself feel so, so hard and time consuming.
Lately I realized I wasnt appreciating my progress (almost 2 months binge free, 100% on plan, improving workouts and weight is coming down)....simply because it felt like I shouldnt have to try sooooooo hard.

Seems silly, I know, and I have been working to give myself a bit of a break. Just wondered who else struggles with issues like this?


Jen516
08-05-2011, 11:47 PM
Seems like you should be giving yourself MORE credit because it's so hard, not less! I know that certain weeks out of the month are way easy for me, food-wise, and certain weeks are a stuggle. I'm always much more pleased if I can stay on track during the hard weeks! Congrats on 2 months binge free and being OP, that's fantastic! Appreciate it! :D

ShanIAm
08-05-2011, 11:55 PM
First off, congrats on being binge free for so long. As a recovering binger myself, I know how much of an accomplishment that is! Awesome job!

I think about this often, too. I get irritated by people who can care less about what they eat and I get irritated by healthy weighted individuals who make it seem so easy to maintain. It's like they don't even think about how they eat. It's just intuative for them. However, I need to keep reminding myself that anything you do time and time again will eventually become second nature. It takes a long time to undo a behavior we had for so, SO long. But I know that for us we WILL stop struggling every day and it will get easier. :D

Would be nice if that day was tomorrow! haha


RJ 1980
08-06-2011, 12:45 AM
I can definately relate. I spend so much time focusing on NOT eating this or that, trying to get in exercise, curbing cravings and binges, etc etc.... I lose sight of the payoff, or it doesn't seem good enought to me. I've started writing down my weight frequently, so that way I can look at it and see the facts- from point A to point B, I lost SIX POUNDS, or 2 pounds or whatever the number may be. Forget about the hard work, concentrate on the fact that it's WORKING. I try to remind myself of this.

I've been down about last months weight loss- I had lost about 5 pounds in July but then binged the last few days of the month and gained it all back, so my starting weight for July 1 and August 1 were the same. After ALL my work and obsessing. But then I think of what I would see if I had just eaten whatever all month- a DEFINITE weight GAIN, and I'd feel crappy and bloated instead of just a little disappointed.

I am so thankful for the site to occupy my mind and keep me from eating (well not always, lol), it really helps pass the time without food!!

Also, I don't think I've EVER gone even a week without binging, even when I was really skinny, so I know how amazing it is that you've gone so long-- that's really awesome, kudos!!

luckymommy
08-06-2011, 12:57 AM
xty, you're so hard on yourself.....but I can definitely relate cuz I'm hard on myself too. For instance, I had two people tell me I look skinny today. My reaction? I said, "it would be impressive if I had never gained weight to begin with....or if at least I could keep it off this time!" Or, I say, "Yeah, my weight issues are the only thing I have in common with Oprah!" ;) So it's my attempt at some goofy humor, but really, there's a lot of rejection there....I refuse to give myself enough credit. I have a binge eating disorder. I don't think I've ever been able not to binge for as long as you have, but I'm going to try to emulate you! :)

I get it though. It's soooo much work. I'm always thinking about the workout, the clothes to wash for the workout, the food to buy, the snacks to eat, what to have next, what I'd like to lose and what if I gain and what about that dinner I have to go to and on and on and on. It's really exhausting. Yet, I know it's all totally worth it because the alternative is to just to eat everything in sight and to be miserable and out of control doing it. I'd rather have too much control than not any. :hug:

p.s. The other day I was eating a salad at an outdoor restaurant. This couple next to us was having a burger, fries, milkshake with whipped cream, a regular coke (not diet) and probably some other stuff that I don't remember. They were both very much in shape....both looked toned. They sat there and ate the whole thing. I found myself so disgusted by that display. I kept telling my husband "They're not even having diet coke! It's regular coke!!!" How is it possible that they could eat all that and still be thin? My husband assured me that they probably do this once every six months or something. I don't know if that's true or not, but the truth is that it really doesn't matter. Even if they can do this 10 times a day, it has no effect on my situation. I just wish it was easier for people like us, but everyone has their mountain to climb and this is ours.

H82Sweat
08-06-2011, 02:30 AM
Good self care stems from self love. Self love requires that we give ourselves credit where credit is due.

Maybe you could try dropping the "shoulds" from your expectations and focus on the "dids." You did lose weight. You did avoid binging for 2 months. You did take good care of yourself.

Most importantly, you do deserve to be cared for by yourself and others.

ED is a special kind of recovery battle because our control has been exerted by being out of control. So every freaking time we exercise restraint in a positive manner, that is a victory in and of itself. Praise yourself for it.

Take care :)

xty
08-11-2011, 09:38 PM
thanks so much to everyone for the support! today is my 2month binge free-anniversary


I get it though. It's soooo much work. I'm always thinking about the workout, the clothes to wash for the workout, the food to buy, the snacks to eat, what to have next, what I'd like to lose and what if I gain and what about that dinner I have to go to and on and on and on. It's really exhausting. Yet, I know it's all totally worth it because the alternative is to just to eat everything in sight and to be miserable and out of control doing it. I'd rather have too much control than not any. :hug:

I just wish it was easier for people like us, but everyone has their mountain to climb and this is ours.

:hug: right back at ya! these 2 section really made my day :)

mkroyer
08-12-2011, 12:25 PM
Hey, rejoice in the small, or BIG victories! 2 months binge free is HUGE.. HUGE!! congrats!!

it sounds silly but in my journal ive made a list of goals that i keep adding to, some are big goals... lose 10pounds, graduate with my masters, etc, but most are tiny, seemingly inconsequential goals, at least to an outsider

Yesterday, i was finally able to check off one of my goals!!
---> i went into Sunflower Market (whole foods/trader joes, whatever) and i didNOT SAMPLE ONE THING from the bulk bins (usually trail mix or granola, or a handful of yogurt peanuts or candy, ESPECIALLY the red licorice!) Once i start eating stuff there, i just cant stop! i compleetly blow my deficits...... Not ONE piece of food went in my mouth. i was in.. got what i needed and was out... That was a gioal for me...:) a victory! and i proudly checked it off :) HOpefully.....eventually... it will become my habit, but that takes time, and practice