Lighten Up! - Helpful Hints

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01-20-2003, 12:44 PM
Helpful Hint #1
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage is instantly removed.

Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
while you chop away

Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms. Just buy
an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas
inside it before you put it on.

Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish
bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them
to swim in an amusing manner.

Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps
makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.

Helpful Hint #6
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the
toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.

Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself
and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in
your veins.

Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to

:lol: :lol:

02-22-2003, 01:09 AM
LMAO! #5 and #6 are my favorites :lol:

02-23-2003, 08:32 PM
:smug: :lol: :D LOL oh gosh those are very funny

Hollie in MT
04-20-2003, 03:58 AM