Hi everyone! I'm having a really bad couple of days here and need some motivation.
I just don't want to do this anymore. I've only been at it since last Monday, and the whole time, I've just had this feeling that it's inevitable that I'm going to give up like I always do. I saw my trainer yesterday and he was annoyed because I didn't want to be there, and I just wouldn't cooperate. I was getting a vibe from him that he didn't want to be there, and felt like he was watching all the guys that were sports training, instead of paying attention to me. But I went in with a really bad attitude so I don't blame him if he didn't want to be there, and I'm probably exaggerating because of the mood I'm in.
I'm trying to lose weight for my wedding. My fiance and I said that we weren't going to get married until we're happy with ourselves. But now I think that's turned into "he won't marry me unless I'm skinny" which is completely not true. I'm trying to lose 30 lbs before the end of the year (or basically as fast as I can), so that I can try on wedding dresses and actually be able to zip some of them up.
I haven't been eating as good as I should be (no cakes or cookies or anything really bad like that, but more sodium and white foods than I should be. And not near enough calories). I'm meeting my trainer tomorrow and I really want to be back to the way I was last week. Ready to exercise and work hard. But right now, I really want to cancel the session and just go back to my normal life. It's embarrassing going to work out because I'm the only one at my facility who's there to lose weight, everyone else is there for sports training.
I really hate the way I'm feeling right now, and really just want to wake up tomorrow ready to go to work and then to go work out and have a good productive day!
HI, I hope you can find the motivation to keep going..
I just started my weight loss journey a couple of weeks ago and its been tough.. My mother has been sick and the stress of her and everyday life as a mom is hard too.. worrying about what I'm eating seems to be at the last of my things to concentrate on..
That being said, I had a mental shift tha last couple of days and realised that I can't change what is going on with my mom or change myself back to being single (HAHA)..but I can change how I think about myself and my concentrate on my weight loss goals.. One day at a time..one hour at a time, sometimes...grrr
I would love to be slim in 6 months to a year, however I need to remain realistic and to be happy with my small successes.. I lost 2 lbs this week and I'm ecstatic! I've lost a total of 6 lbs..I didn't think I could do that in a short amount of time..but I did and you can too.
I'm currently folowing weight watchers and its great. I'm forced to track what I'm eating and makes me accountable everyday to what goes in my mouth. The WW meetings are surprisingly uplifting and motivating..I look forward to going.
You have to be gentle with yourself, take care of your hard working brain and body..
As for your trainer, Maybe you have a "sport" you can train for? Maybe you can set an athletic goal and try to achieve that at the gym? Train for something totally random and unique, like Fencing or Curling!
I have found great motivation in myfitnesspal. Once you enter all your info you can use it as a tool to track your calories and it does all the math for you. My ABSOLUTE favorite part is that at the end of the day when I hit the "complete this entry" button at the end of the day it goes to a screen that says "if every day were like today you would weigh ____ in 5 weeks."
Now, this helps me stay motivated because 1) I know 5 weeks is a significant amount of time from now so I really have to stick to it in order to get to that number 2) that number is often the number that I *feel* like I should see (unrealistically of course) after the last few days of sticking to plan 3) I can actually see my progress on the screen and not just in how I feel about myself and how my clothes fit.
I have the terrible ability, as do most of us, to diet for a few days, or weeks even, and not see what results I think I should see and then give up. This tool helps me be realistic about what my progress is and also to understand that I might have messed up today but tomorrow I can do better and it will even itself out in the end.
AND- besides Myfitnesspal- I fit chocolate and things I love into my calories and don't let my cravings dictate when I'm going to eat them. I keep low-cal options for some relief from cravings (double chocolate sugar free pudding cups) but I plan when I'm going to eat a sweet treat so that I can have in my head that I'm going to turn everything else down. For example: yesterday I went out for ice-cream with my husband... we had DQ and I had a mini. I got the full fat crap but it fit in my calories because I planned for it. Then, today, it was the first day back for teachers and we had doughnuts and coffee to kick off the year. I ate breakfast at home as planned then didn't even look at the doughnuts. I find motivation to pick and choose my battles and still feel like I'm in control and not just surrender to a "diet".
don't wanna sound like a b!tch, but it really doesn't sound like you even wanna do this. you're doing it, you haven't messed up yet and you're like "it's just a matter of time til i do"... wtf?! who thinks like that?
who are you doing this for? your hubby? some people are quite happy being overweight, and if that's you, hey, who's forcing you? you should really make a list of the pros and the cons of dieting (don't roll your eyes at me now and do it) and if there are more items on your cons list, if it is making you so miserable, then girl, don't do it!
what do you want us to say? we can't cheer on someone who doesn't wanna be helped!
you should really try and focus on what makes you happy, what you can do to be happy, and strive for that. maybe some positive thinking books would help. i know they help me.
Thisside-you have been in on some of our chats for weekly chat, and I have to say I agree with Kawaii. There is NO REASON to self sabotage if you are doing well. Really look into your reasons for doing this weight loss, at this time, in this place, and try to honestly figure out your motivation. If you are being guilted into it because of looking a certain way on your wedding day, then this won't stick. It will be a temporary state until after the wedding, then you may gain everything back. IT HAS TO BE ABOUT SELF RESPECT, LOVE FOR YOURSELF, AND THE GIFT OF HEALTH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to take this time and sacrifice to be an INVESTMENT in your future, how will you be able to keep up with your children if you are too overweight to play with them? That may sound harsh, but the reality is that YOU GAIN WEIGHT WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT AND HAVE TO LOSE IT AFTER YOU GIVE BIRTH. You sound like you are conflicted because it IS hard and you don't know WHY you are doing it! Find out the reason, YOU ARE WORTH THE WORK, take the time for yourself and really invest in yourself, you will not regret it. Please, stay positive, and let us motivate and support you. Like Kawaii said, you have to want to help yourself in order for this process, and 3FC to work! WE will encourage you, motivate you, support you, even when you have a crappy day of eating/not working out. What matters is that you are doing this for your health and the future health of your family. Stay dedicated, and if you go OP or fall off the wagon, get on here and get help to start again! YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!!! Rock it!
Thanks everyone, I think this really helped! I think I just needed a little bit of "you can do it!" because I haven't heard that a lot since I started working out.
SLIM: Congrats on your 6lbs lost in such a short time! I think I really need to start thinking more 1 hour at a time, instead of planning on where I want to be and what I want to be doing in 6 months.
kwigg: Thanks! I'm definitely going to look at myfitnesspal. It seems really cool and like something that could be really helpful.
LGW: I think that's a giant part of my problem, and I didn't think of it until you said it. That's totally how my brain works, if I didn't do something to the fullest, then I might as well have sat at home. And that's completely not true at all. Thanks for pointing that out!
Kawaii: I think that the feeling that I'm going to fail is just something I carry around with me all the time. Everything I've always done, I've quit or stopped or whatever. Usually because I got bored of it or it (sometimes subconsciously) got too hard. I need to work through that, because even if I stay at this weight forever, I've still lost a few pounds, and that should be a success all in itself. Normally when I see myself, I'm not happy with what I see, inside or out. But then I have days where I think "I'm really not fat. I'm not incredibly skinny, but I'm not fat. I don't look half bad!" and wonder why I'm stressing out so much over this. But I really want to lose weight, because I am overweight, diabetes runs in my family and I definitely don't want to go down that road. I want to be able to bike with my fiance and do other things without being so tired and out of breath. Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer, I think I just got a bit overtired and cranky and perhaps a bit PMS-y.
Munster: You are so inspiring! Everywhere I see you around here, you're always so motivating and inspiring. I think I'm going to take the phrase "YOU ARE WORTH THE WORK" and write it on my mirror, and on my food journal and on my computer and in my signature and everywhere else because I really am worth the work. And I CAN do this!
Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate it! I'm totally ready to see my trainer tonight and I'm excited to keep going and see if I can get to my mini-goal of 175lbs this week so I can get a pedicure!
I'll just add to what the others say - I'm SURE your hubby-to-be is not saying he only wants to marry you if you're skinny. And you know that, too. That's the first thing to get straight.
Secondly, only you can help yourself. If I were your trainer, and you came in in a rotten mood, I'd be pissed. I mean, I'd do my job because, hey, you're paying me anyway. But I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't get anywhere, and I wouldn't fight you on it, because it would NOT be my job to molly-coddle you.
You gotta do it for yourself! If you want it, you can have it. And it sounds like you've decided you want it, so go for it!
Need Motivation!! Help!
