Goal! - having trouble finding a goal weight!




tvc015
08-03-2011, 11:57 AM
i've lost 85 lbs over the past two years, and my bmi is now 21.0. the problem is that i'm still suffering from body image issues, i think, and i still feel fat because i can see fat on my body. even when i'm feeling all right about myself, i never feel small or thin, and when i look in the mirror i have trouble looking past that little bump of fat on my abdomen or the way my upper arm isn't perfectly straight when i press it against my body. rationally, i guess i've reached a good goal weight, but everything in my brain is telling me to lose more! i can't seem to bring myself away from eating a weight-loss amount of calories per day. i'm afraid that if i'm not actively losing weight, however slowly, then i'll gain it all back immediately. anyone else have this kind of problem?


edit: sorry if this is the wrong forum! i don't think i'm 'maintaining' really so that felt wrong, but i'm also not sure WHEN i'll reach my goal.


Michi702
08-03-2011, 12:19 PM
I had a friend lose an extraordinary amount of weight (200 lbs+) and even when he was about as thin as was healthy for his height he still wanted to lose more. Part of it was the extra skin that tricked him into thinking he still had fat to burn, part of it was that he just wasn't comfortable with himself yet and felt that if he lost more then he would feel better at some point.

It might be helpful for you to speak with some professionals about your worries, so that you can determine a healthy weight for yourself and also create a plan about how to maintain this weight once you've reached it. It also can't hurt to let them know about your body image issues and they might he able to help you find a way to get through them.

Congratulations on your journey thus far, and you're not the only one who's felt like this before. We're all here to support you!

Loli
08-03-2011, 12:21 PM
I think you've reached your goal. I would up your calories to maintenance. What is that for you? About 1600 calories a day? And then, just add in resistance training, along with a few cardio sessions a week, of course.

You need to work more on sculpting your body than you do on weight loss. Enjoy maintenance!


christine123
08-03-2011, 12:30 PM
I think it's really common for it to take awhile for your brain to catch up to how you really look. I think after losing about 20-25lbs this year, I still look exactly the same - just a thinner version of the chubby me. I am not sure if you've had weight struggles for most of your life, but I think that plays a part too. For me, I have sort of identified myself as being the chubby girl most of my life. It's hard for me to see past that in the mirror. I agree that you should speak to some professionals about maintenance plans and the body image issues. My last go around, I didn't have a maintenance plan and even though I was only 5lbs away from my dream goal of 125lbs, I was very dissatisfied. That dissatisfaction, coupled with no real maintenance plan and some difficulties emotionally, led to me to regain. You are among friends here and people who get it and support you. Lots of luck!

Lucky72
08-03-2011, 12:45 PM
I second Michi702's suggestion. It sounds like you have done an amazing job but are having trouble seeing your body as it actually is. Talking to a professional about your body image issues might help.

kelly315
08-03-2011, 12:56 PM
There's really no reason to go any lower. It seems that you're at the point where you're about to go into "underweight" territory, which can be much worse for your body than being seriously overweight.

A lot of us tend to attribute a lot of our problems to weight; is it possible that now your still blaming your weight for bad feelings about something else?

luckymommy
08-03-2011, 01:01 PM
Do you have any "before" photos that you can put side by side "after" photos? I've heard that this helps a lot. I personally didn't take any before photos, but I sure wish I had!

You got some great advice above. I think it would be good to also start doing some positive thinking. Rather than looking in the mirror and finding what you don't like, find one thing that you DO like. Then, tell yourself how great that one thing is....whenever you feel a negative thought coming on, replace it with this positive thought. It may seem silly but it really works for some people.

I have lots of problem areas still, even though I've reached my goal. However, overall, when I look in the mirror, I'm thrilled. When I catch myself starting to think critically, I just remind myself how far I've come and realize that I'm so lucky. The reason I can do this now is because I've lost lots of weight in the past and then I got into the negative thinking and perfectionist mentality and I ended up gaining the weight back. I'm not saying that's the only reason I gained it back, but it sure didn't help. I'm just so grateful to have this body now that even with its imperfections, I'm thrilled with it.

Finally, maybe you could try to do some volunteer work? I have volunteered at a children's hospital and let me tell you...that really snapped me out of any kind of self focus and made me think really hard about what's really important in life. :hug:

tvc015
08-03-2011, 01:12 PM
wow you guys are great! thanks so much for the replies, they've really got me re-evaluating how i want to move on from here. i do have self-esteem issues that don't stem from body image, but from which my body image problems have emerged, and i know that once i work on them, this process will be easier. in the interim, though, i will absolutely take your advice on strength training and positive thinking. both are woefully missing from my life.

ems81wales
08-03-2011, 03:18 PM
i think u have got to your goal im same height as u and my goal weight is 140 so u have done really well to get to 115 thats tiny xxx