100 lb. Club - Getting into a new perception of what is NORMAL for you?




InsideMe
08-02-2011, 05:35 PM
So I'm wondering if anybody else has any issues like me haha....

Since I've lost 17lbs, yeahhhh, I am feeling great and looking so much better. I don't have a problem some days the way I look and this is where I get stuck!!!!

See I think I've always been able to hide my weight well but if I really REALLY REALLY closely stand there and stare at my naked body.....ummmm yeah I need to lose weight.

But then I get dressed and I think I look all hot and feel fine, I figure if I look fine then what's the point! OMG! This is such a hinderance for me!

I really think for my height I'm suppose to be smaller but how do you reprogram your brain that what you see in the mirror isn't the norm....

I've noticed just walking down the street or at the mall etc....overweight has really BECOME the norm....so I'm comparing "oh ok I fit this norm" but it's not the norm is it???

Does that make sense??? LOL


Mango30
08-02-2011, 05:42 PM
Yes, it makes sense. Its like as a society we've desensitized ourselves to how aweful we look obese. WHich is kinda wierd considering in magazines and the media images of women are getting thinner and thinner and when you see a normal sized woman, say a size 12, in a magazine she looks gigantic. Here where I live people are pretty average sized, with plenty of overweight people, but when I travel to the lower 48 (what we call the continental US here in AK) I see women who seem impossibly thin everywhere, I'm just more accostomed to seeing thicker women. It's weird. I find myself starring...lol!

Lovely
08-02-2011, 05:46 PM
Naked pictures. (Or just in underpants)

Nothing tells the truth like standing in the buff in a photo. Oh boy.


InsideMe
08-02-2011, 05:49 PM
I know we are so desensitized. My friends all say I look great but they are all overweight too (love them to death) but they are. I live in the big city so you see all kinds of people, so being a size 14/16 is not "that bad" I guess? Sigh.....I guess I have to start looking AT my fat, I think I concentrate too much on what does look good. It's the other side of the spectrum. Some people get so down and look at all their flaws they concentrate on those and never see the good, and then there's people who refuse to see the bad and only concentrate on the good...that doesn't help cause you then ignore the jiggling belly! There has to be a fine medium no?

InsideMe
08-02-2011, 05:50 PM
Naked pictures. (Or just in underpants)

Nothing tells the truth like standing in the buff in a photo. Oh boy.

YIKES!!! I've started to do that.....sigh...it's the truth truth truth....gosh does it hurt!

2CuteToBeFat
08-02-2011, 05:51 PM
You do look hot girl! :) Skinny isn't the norm anymore. I think if you feel good about yourself then rock it out. If you feel you need to do more work then do it for yourself, not for what society thinks. The norm these days is more thick then thin. I think it all comes down to if you're healthy. That should be the ultimate goal. :)

InsideMe
08-02-2011, 05:54 PM
Thanks 2cute2befat (your hot too) I know I know, I want to be healthy but I think I have to wrap my head around that just because I feel ok where I am doesn't mean it's healthy....I am 212lbs on a 5 ft 3 frame, not close to being healthy :(

2CuteToBeFat
08-02-2011, 06:11 PM
Thanks chica. :) You probably are healthy, however when you get older the weight might affect you. That is my issue right now. I am "healthy" per the Dr and everything, but my weight isn't a good thing. I know when I get older it is going to catch up with me which is why I want to lose weight now. Maybe just try maintaining your weight right now and see if you want to lose more in the future? It is fabulous though that you are feeling great! Confidence is an awesome thing. :)

runningfromfat
08-02-2011, 06:46 PM
Take a picture of yourself in a tightly fighting top while you're sitting down (stick out your belly a bit to add emphasis). ;) That really did it for me! A friend of mine got a candid picture of me in exactly position and posted it on facebook and I completely flipped out! :fr: It really helped me start losing weight.

Being overweight has been normalized in our culture and now that I'm a size 12 it's weird because I realize how average I look (even though I'm still considered obese!). I'm certainly very against fat discrimination but it has made it harder to recognize what normal and overweight looks like. I had a friend not too long ago that told me that she needed to lose weight. At first I was shocked because she seemed soooo much smaller than me. Then I really thought about it maybe she was slightly chubby but it's not something I ever noticed because she was so much smaller than me at the time.

Another thing that might help is to look at measurements. A waist size under 35 inches and a waist to hip-ratio of under 0.8 is considered healthy. Also other measurements of health such as how fast you can run/walk a mile or how far you can bike can also be great motivations. The journey doesn't have to be all about looks because there really are some women who carry their weight well but, unfortunately, that doesn't mean that they are necessarily healthy at that weight (I know I sure wasn't when I was out my highest!). :(

Angie
08-02-2011, 11:09 PM
I think it's great if you can feel great about how you look, and I wouldn't try to change that. I'm feeling pretty good about how I'm looking too, and thrilled to pieces with the fact that I don't have to shop in plus sized stores now, but I DO need to keep moving on.

Pictures are great, as so many people mentioned, nothing slams reality home to me like seeing a full body picture of myself, clothed or not! When I look in a mirror I see it differently, the camera is evil and pulls no punches.

Maybe try to approach your weightloss from a health perspective instead though, and that might give you the oomph to keep moving forward even though you are loving the new you. You can look up what would be a healthy BMI for your height and go from there.

Lovely
08-02-2011, 11:16 PM
I know we are so desensitized. My friends all say I look great but they are all overweight too (love them to death) but they are. I live in the big city so you see all kinds of people, so being a size 14/16 is not "that bad" I guess? Sigh.....I guess I have to start looking AT my fat, I think I concentrate too much on what does look good. It's the other side of the spectrum. Some people get so down and look at all their flaws they concentrate on those and never see the good, and then there's people who refuse to see the bad and only concentrate on the good...that doesn't help cause you then ignore the jiggling belly! There has to be a fine medium no?

I don't think it's necessary to feel bad/ugly in order to lose weight.

I wake up most days, and when I'm dressed and put together I think "Hey I look pretty good!" It doesn't stop me from knowing that I'm overweight by quite a bit and still need to eat healthier, and exercise.

You are right, though. Focusing solely on the bad is horrible and unnecessary, but being in denial can lead us to a place we don't want to be. It's hard to find that medium where we can have a great self-image, but still be logically realistic about our bodies.

haggis
08-02-2011, 11:18 PM
I think Angie has a good point. The BMI numbers are an objective measure of the best weight for your height. I have had a bad case of denial for many years, the "Its not that bad" when it comes to my weight. I find it really hard to look in the mirror and not give myself a boost. Strange, but in my case the camera adds about 65 (real) pounds! I have finally come to accept that the BMI numbers are the best indication of what my weight should be - no denial possible there.

toastedsmoke
08-03-2011, 12:17 AM
Ok let me put it this way. I've always known I was chubby and a lot overweight, but I thought I dressed it well, and looking in the mirror, I didn't think I looked that bad. This was reinforced by my complete avoidance of the camera and laying the blame on "unflattering angles" the rare occasions I was cut unawares by the paparazzi (aka my family and friends).

Even now that I've lost 90lbs and people see me and exclaim how different I look, I really still don't see that much of a difference when I look in the mirror except when I try on my old clothes. So when people are shocked by the difference I wonder what they're talking about. However, yesterday, I saw a pics of me on vacation from 2 years ago when I was 275 before I started the journey, and believe me there is a difference. It took me like 30 seconds to comprehend that I was the person in those pictures. And I remember thinking I looked so cute too, with my outfits and everything.

So even if you are normal to yourself, and you don't look any different, you do! And I completely co-sign the idea of taking pictures (not at Facebook angles), real honest pictures to really see how you look. You are ahead of the game, your self-esteem seems really good which is the most difficult part whatever your size. My self-esteem in terms of my looks and my body has never been good (it's manageable with room for improvement in other areas) and I think that's what I'm trying to work on now. That and seeing and accepting myself as I am at any given point.

MrsTee
08-03-2011, 12:23 AM
I've lost 20 kilos and thought I looked a lot better, but had to have photos taken last night, and ahem...20 kilos gone BUT STILL a lot to go.... I can kid myself in front of the mirror ( as I have for year) but photos with other people beside you puts it all into perspective...

Thighs Be Gone
08-03-2011, 12:52 AM
Haggis..I feel that way too..maybe BMI charts aren't perfect but they are a pretty good indicator of when I am healthy..I notice this in my blood pressure and cholesterol levels and heart rate...the chart isn't some evil thing meant to be feared...it simply reminds me of where my body does best.

InsideMe
08-03-2011, 01:06 AM
Yup that's one reason i need to lose cause I know I'm not healthy....haha ok gonna try those angles, I am in TOTAL denial cause I always KNOW my angle! I deny all the ugly ones and chalk it up to being a bad angle...I'm SO IN DENIAL!!!!!!! This is what keeps me from moving on.....Ok full right on pic with me sitting and my muffin pushing out....yes I need to SEE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!

You girls rock! Thank you for the reality check!

haggis
08-03-2011, 10:21 AM
Sometimes it helps to just see this as a BMI/health issue - there is less arguing. Doesn't make it any less work, but heps with the motivation, and gets rid of the denial. Some times I think I am more in denial than Cleopatra (get it? bad joke)

ButterCup85
08-03-2011, 10:58 AM
I'll probably be the "wrong" one in this thread. Getting healthy is great so at least try to do it for that. As far as a number you SHOULD be or what a chart says I don't know if I agree. I am only 5feet 5 inches but I have huge hips and a tiny waist. When I was 14 my mom took me to the doctor, she's TINY, she was always on me about my weight. At that time I weighed 175. So, we asked the doctor, and he said 175 is perfect for my body type. It's true, I'd never look normal in a size 5 or 8 for that matter. 10 or 12 is probably the best size for me due to my hips. I wear a medium shirt but a size 16-18 pants at the moment.

Not everyone is the same nor do I think we should all be confined to a box of what is normal. When I get to 185ish I'll be heading to the doc for a full check up. For now, all I can do is at home and my BP is perfect. So we'll see.

I'm not saying not to lose weight. I am saying it isn't the same for everyone, just get healthy!

Sophronia
08-03-2011, 11:30 AM
I love that you think of yourself as hot! I love that you are careful in choosing what you wear, and that you are confident enough to present yourself that way to the world. Fat should not be miserable, any more than ugly or stupid should be.

Why do you want to lose weight? If it's just to look good - hello - your'e there! It is not denial to see or acknowledge it. And the media's perception of what looks good has gotten really bizarre lately. Other cultures and other time periods have thought of fat women in a much more favorable light. It's subjective and it's silly.

Having said that, I'm not going to deny that I'm doing this partly because of vanity. And largely because I'm aware that other people's perceptions (prejudice?) about fat people make it more difficult for me to be treated with the respect I want to earn in my chosen profession. And because I don't want my children to be treated the way I have experienced. So, yes - take pictures in "realistic" angles to be more aware of how you're perceived if that motivates you. But please - don't let anything convince you that you're not a beautiful woman deserving of respect - regardless of size or weight. That would be the lie.

FitGirlyGirl
08-03-2011, 02:43 PM
Confidence is definitely a good thing and you don't have to lose your hotness, you're just aiming for a healthier hotness, that's all. :) I agree with everyone that has suggested pictures, take tons of them. Also, if you aren't already part of a gym, maybe you should consider it. If you surround yourself with people who are focused on improving themselves then it helps. It also helps me to focus on fitness goals along with my size and weight goals. I set goals for being able to do a certain number of push-ups, goals for how many minutes I can do on the elliptical, stuff like that. Right now my goals are to be able to do 5 double burpees in a row and to be able to do an unassisted pull-up. I also set goals about how many veggie servings I will eat in a week, how many processed foods I will limit myself to, things like that. It really helps to have something to motivate me that has nothing to do with vanity about my physical appearance.

InsideMe
08-03-2011, 11:26 PM
I'll probably be the "wrong" one in this thread. Getting healthy is great so at least try to do it for that. As far as a number you SHOULD be or what a chart says I don't know if I agree. I am only 5feet 5 inches but I have huge hips and a tiny waist. When I was 14 my mom took me to the doctor, she's TINY, she was always on me about my weight. At that time I weighed 175. So, we asked the doctor, and he said 175 is perfect for my body type. It's true, I'd never look normal in a size 5 or 8 for that matter. 10 or 12 is probably the best size for me due to my hips. I wear a medium shirt but a size 16-18 pants at the moment.

Not everyone is the same nor do I think we should all be confined to a box of what is normal. When I get to 185ish I'll be heading to the doc for a full check up. For now, all I can do is at home and my BP is perfect. So we'll see.

I'm not saying not to lose weight. I am saying it isn't the same for everyone, just get healthy!

Hee hee thanks! Well see that's the thing, I want to be healthy and I want to fit into the style of clothes I love cause I LOVE fashion. So is there some vanity there? Yup, but that's only because I want how I feel on the inside to match the outside.....I don't match! Plus I'm doing this so I can be around for a long time for me and my kids....it's just getting out of that mindset that STOPS me from going any further....

I like that idea to set goals on strength! I've started to do that with pushups, at first I couldn't even do 4 girl pushups, now I cand 3 reps of 30 and 4 full pushups!!! I think that's a better way to think and to keep challenging myself that way. :)