100 lb. Club - Struggling

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07-30-2011, 05:26 PM
Hi all- I don't know if anyone here remembers me, but I have been here off and on the last few years. My last stint here I lost 44 pounds. Now I have gained 14 back. I feel like crap and I am seriously addicted to sugar and carbs. I know the answer is probably go cold turkey even though when I lost the 44 pounds I was eating sugar and carbs. The problem is the more I eat, the more I want until finally I have lost all control.

Today is the first day in a long while I haven't already binged by this time. The last couple of weeks have been really, really, bad. Two days ago I ate a whole half gallon of Bluebell's Banana Pudding ice cream - almost entirely by myself. When there is no easy access to sugar in the form of chocolate candy, cake or ice cream I am eating cereal and breads. One nigh last week I made a banana brea loaf, ate half that night and the other half first thing in the morning before 7 am! I am scaring the **** out of myself. I do not want to gain back anymore. I feel powerless and don't know what to do.

Today as been ok. I had a cup of coffee with two tablespoons of chocolate caramel creamer, but honestly I don't enjoy the coffee anymore. I had 3 eggs and 2 servings of bacon. About an hour ago I ate a can of tuna. I know it isn't enough, but I am afraid of eating carbs because they trigger me. I am also drinking water.

I feel so scared, embarassed and foolish. I have a happy marriage, great kids and good friends, so why do I need to stuff myself? There are stresses in my life, but I don't want to use them as an excuse. I think my bottom line is I love sweets and I am addicted. It sounds like such a copout, but I literally feel like I have no say when I am bingeing. It's crazy.

Anyway, I humbly arrive back here hoping to find support and inspiration. I need strength to get back on plan and strength to let go of the sugar and massive amounts of carbs.

07-30-2011, 05:35 PM
You have it in you to lose weight though, and you got to realize that. 44 lbs is A LOT of weight.
Yeah, it's easier to gain it back but damn! Do you even realize what you've already accomplished?
You gotta say "Do I want to keep feeling like this, or do I want to reach my goals?"
Don't tell yourself you're going to try to lose the weight. You ARE going to drop the weight. Losers try.

07-30-2011, 06:08 PM
I love carbs, but have had some luck breaking the addiction with the Slow Carb Diet. Basically I eat a combo of meat, veggies and beans for most of my meals and I allow myself one day a week to cheat. The restrictive diet has led to some very creative meals and has helped me stay on track (I'm prone to allowing small indulgences with cheats when I'm on a more lenient diet). The cheat day helps me stay sane.

Ultimately just try to take it one meal at a time and you've done it once and you can do it again :)

07-30-2011, 09:00 PM
Hi, TX Mary2. Welcome back. I can't say I was addicted to carbs and sweets, but I used to eat as much bread as possible and still have room for pasta at my favorite Italian restaurant whenever possible. I cut way back on white carbs in January when I started this. I eat almost no pasta, rice, potatoes, or bread. Lo and behold, after a few weeks of this, carb and sugar cravings were almost completely gone! Went out with friends to a nice Italian restaurant lalst night and didn't even want the bread. I could hardly have imagined that.

At any rate, you lost in the past. You checked your re-gain at 14 pounds. Hop right back on and take it one meal, one decision at a time. You can do this.


April Snow
07-30-2011, 09:40 PM
I've had a very similar experience to Lin's. I am doing the Dukan Diet which eliminates all grains (except for a small amount of oat bran every day) and starches and sweets. I never considered myself a sugar/carb addict before but I ate plenty of processed carby/starchy/sugar-laden foods. I was amazed to find that after about a week on this diet, I don't have cravings. I have all kinds of stuff in the house for my underweight seven year old (who somehow knows how to eat everything in moderation.) And I'm not even tempted.

Last night, I was feeling in the mood for something sweet and in the past, would have though nothing of having a serving (or two or three!) of ice cream. And there is ice cream in the house. But a cup of hot tea with some sweet n low and a splash of milk made me completely happy. I never would have believed this was possible until it happened.

So yes, you can break this pattern and get rid of these cravings. It's not easy the first week or two, but if you could lose 40+ lbs before, you definitely have the power to do it now!

07-30-2011, 09:43 PM
You've lsot a huge amount already, so you've definitely done well. Don't worry! everyone has setbacks. Just get back on track and remember you've done amazing already!

07-30-2011, 10:26 PM
You seem to know that restricting simple carbs breaks the cycle. It is tough to get back into low carb land - trying it again now myself. I had lost about 44, maintained for 3 years, then started to eat carbs again. Needless to say I gained all the weight back.

Think of the carb addiction like any other and realize your body responds badly, so it is best to leave them alone. Hope this helps

07-30-2011, 10:32 PM
Thanks ladies. I need to remind myself that I did do it before and that I can continue. I am grateful I haven't gained back more, but I still feel somewhat defeated by the gain. I am working on just letting it go.

07-31-2011, 03:04 AM
:hug: You can do this! We all hit bumps but it's what you do after the bump that counts. You can do this! :hug:

07-31-2011, 03:16 AM
I have sugar and carb issues as well. I just love them, but often feel bad an hour later. I have a lot more energy and don't get as hungry since I started protein and veggies. When I cheated on vacation, I found that 1 piece of pizza was enough. Drinking the protein shakes really helps. I also eat cheese and olives which are my treats. Motivation has been key for me this time. I am getting older and found that I couldn't walk without my feet hurting. I also want to raise my son and see my grand kids!

Pacifica Bee
07-31-2011, 11:42 AM
Sugar is evil. And all bread is is another form of sugar (once it is digested and whatnot in your bloodstream). When you eat sugar/white bread, your body burns through that energy VERY fast, and then it wants MORE energy so it makes you CRAVE more sugar. The only way to break that cycle stop eating it. For me, that meant cold turkey.

The best thing I ever did for myself is go cold turkey. A little background, I am a bread and sugar addict (for lack of a better word). I would sit down and eat an entire 3 foot loaf of sour dough bread as a "snack". I could easily eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's followed by a piece of 'cinnamon toast' which really was white bread and 1/2 c. of sugar over the top with butter. An hour later I would be eating a bowl of sugary cereal topped with another 2-3 tablespoons of sugar, and drinking kool aid. The reason I am admitting to this is so you can see I am speaking from honest experience here, from one addict to another.

Yes, there is a withdrawal and yes it sucks super bad, and no, the call of bread never goes away, but the best thing you can do for yourself to get on track is to empty your house of all sugar, and all bread/rice/pasta and just power through a couple of weeks. Don't bring it back in your house. Find passable substitutions (at first, all substitutions pale in comparison...) I was completely dependent on sugar free fruit flavored sparkling water (found at Target and Safeway). I would drink 6-8 of these 34 oz. bottles a day. Having the sweetness, even though it is "fake" sweetness, really helped me out.

I have been sugar and white bread free now for 18 months. Yes, I still get desire for bread (not really for sugar, oddly) and once in a while I will allow myself 1 bite of my husband's toast or 1 chip. It is really hard and it the thing that I continue to struggle against, but I am preservering so far. I know you can too.

07-31-2011, 12:56 PM
I don't like sugar or sweet things but I am definitely a carb addict, I could live on bread and pasta. It really is true when you don't eat them you don't get the cravings. I'm still working on it, I was doing very well but have slipped back into the pasta thing again (wheat pasta just doesn't do it for me). You did it before, you can do it again, and so can I. We are here for you!

07-31-2011, 01:18 PM
Hi Mary! You and I are twins :) I am exactly like you. I crave sweets and carbs. After a low calorie meal the first thought I have is: now I want something sweet. I do ok all day then right after I eat I get this feeling I want more. Before you know it I'm back at the fridge picking at the left overs :(.
I had got my weight down to 187 by the first of the year then I just hit a stall that I just could not seem to get out of. I got depressed and kind of gave up for a little while. I finally weighed myself last week and I was 199. I had swore to myself that I never wanted to see a 2 in front of my weight again the last time I got under it. So that lit a fire under me again to work at this. This morning I weighed 196.0
I just can't bring myself to change my weight loss ticker to the correct weight. I had worked so hard to get to 187!
Now I am finding out that fresh cold water does help me keep some of those cravings away. It sounds simple but true. I think sometimes I am just thirsty and my brain is telling me I am hungry. The cold water makes me feel refreshed and full. I also am keeping a smaller size of jeans hanging in the front of my closet- so everytime I open it I see them hanging there. Every morning I keep telling myself you can do this! Gaining weight back that you have worked hard to get off is so depressing- I don't want to do that anymore. You are definitely not alone in this struggle. This is hard but I know we can do it :hug:

07-31-2011, 04:23 PM
I know how you feel in a way.

I started out at 293, and worked my way down to 253, only to work my way up to 273. Then I hovered around there for awhile, getting down to 258, and now I'm at 266. I recently lost 9lbs only to gain 3 back.

I quit soda and fast food cold turkey, haven't had any since. But I'm still not eating well, and my exercise buddy works odd hours so we haven't exercised in awhile, and I'm backsliding. I eat horribly still, and I'm being sedentary again, and I need to just suck it up and learn some self-discipline.

:hug: You can do it. We all can. :)

07-31-2011, 05:04 PM
Thanks again ladies. Yes, we all can do it if we put our minds to it! I made it through yesterday and am doing ok so far today. I haven't had any breads or pastas or ice cream!

I wish I could get all the carb stuff out of my house, but I have 3 boys and a husband and they love their carbs. I am the only one in the house with a weight problem or food issues so I can't remove the food or replace it with stuff they won't eat. I have to get back to being really disciplined and make sure I buy myself things that I can eat.

I am drinking lots of cold water and it DOES help hunger pangs (or what I thought were hunger pangs) go away. This morning I went out on my bike and rode 6.18 miles - it took me 44 minutes. I feel really good right now and want to hang on to this feeling.

DH is making Chilli for dinner so I am looking forward to that - with no crackers or no bread!

07-31-2011, 07:47 PM
Just a thought, Mary... Have you tried getting the carbs out of your house and seeing if your husband/boys care/notice? I don't know what your version of low-carb looks like, but I just stopped buying garbage and bringing it home. Granted - I never bought a lot of chips/cookies/pop tarts, etc. unless it was for a special occasion. But now I am keeping the fridge stocked with lots of fresh fruit and raw veggies. I haven't said anything about it or done a "pantry clear-out." I just haven't been replacing the garbage with garbage. And instead of complaints, I've gotten a few positive comments, though it's mostly just been no big deal.

Granted, I haven't refused to buy everything that I am trying to avoid. If it's something I don't regularly eat and something I know the kids will really miss, I've gotten it. But you won't find ice cream or candy or cupcakes in my house now. And I should know. I (still) regularly scour the house looking for it late at night, get temporarily frustrated because there's nothing there, then decide I have more important things to do and get on with life.

It is my experience that children love fruit and sweet vegetables as much as cookies, etc. I know that thinking about these things as "healthy and therefore not as tasty" has messed with my mind too many times, so I'm trying not to burden my children with "good" and "bad" food labels.

If you really want to get your children to eat fruit, buy some raspberries (my absolute favorite, but super expensive, so I only buy them once a month or so), explain to them that you want to save them as a special treat, and watch them disappear within minutes. =) My biggest problem, actually, has been how hard it is to keep stuff in the house that I can eat.