General chatter - Do I go to the wedding or the party?

07-28-2011, 01:09 AM
Ok so here is my dilemma.

I have an acquaintance who I used to work with over 5 years ago and be a lot closer too but haven't seen in like 2 years and don't really miss her. She is getting married in August even though I haven't really been around much in the past 5.5 years I was very much privy to their long distance courtship and long process to have her girlfriend immigrate here. I already RSVPed yes to here wedding like 2 mons ago, it is a wedding at a private residence. I was looking forward to going.

Today I just got a facebook invite to my friends secret 35th Bobba Fett (bounty hunter from Star Wars) party on the same day at the same time :( Now this friend is a friend from high school. We were really really close through highschool and for a few years after highschool. We then both found the loves of our lives and kind of drifted away but it is the kind of friendship that when we do get together it is very comfy and pleasurable and close. We have an inside Bobba Fett thing from highschool even. I see this friend a few times a year and wish we got together more. I really really really want to go to my friends b-day party.

What would you do in my shoes?

07-28-2011, 01:35 AM
Personally, I would go to the wedding, but do something special (either the day before or after) with the HS friend. I seriously doubt they are inviting everyone they know to the wedding (so you're probably held in high esteem to even get an invite), you've already RSVPed 2 months ago and IMO it would be rude to ditch one for the other.

Your mileage may vary, however.

07-28-2011, 01:44 AM
As much fun as you know you'll have at the birthday, a wedding is a pretty significant event in a person's life. You might regret it later if you skip out. I'm not sure of the format of the wedding, but perhaps if it isn't a group of people you're particularly close to, you won't end up staying for the full thing...maybe you could make an appearance at the tail end of the birthday? Just a thought.

07-28-2011, 02:10 AM
You RSVP'd for the wedding. Unfortunately, my vote is that you can't attend the second party. An RSVP means that you're attending barring emergencies or etc - not that you plan to attend unless something you'd rather do comes up.

Are the events close to one another? You can leave the wedding right after the cake is cut and catch the last bit of the party.

If you do decide not to attend the wedding, you need to call immediately so that you're not included in the headcount for meals.

07-28-2011, 04:24 AM
As someone who is planning my own wedding right now, I have put a lot of time into deciding who in my life is so special that I want to invite them to share with me this very important day. I can honestly say I would be pretty hurt if one of those people RSVP'd and then decided to reverse her RSVP two months later to go to a Bobba Fett birthday party.

07-28-2011, 09:30 AM
You RSVP'd to the wedding first. You essentially promised you'd go barring any trips to the hospital type emergencies.

If both locations are close enough you can swing by the birthday party AFTER the wedding to wish your friend a happy birthday, or you can plan to hang out with them on another date, but don't back out on the promise to go to the wedding.

07-28-2011, 09:33 AM
Commitments matter....

07-28-2011, 09:34 AM
You have already RSVP the wedding, that takes priority. You just have to tell your friend, sorry, wish I could be there but have made plans for a wedding that day.

07-28-2011, 10:12 AM
I vote for the wedding too. I had a few people who rsvp'd and then didn't show up for my wedding. It bothered me because we were on a budget and had to cut a lot of things we wanted in order to pay for their food. It was money that we could have put forward to a nicer honeymoon.

07-28-2011, 11:25 AM
Yeah your all right. I know I should go to the wedding. Unfortunately they are not close together :( but I will take the suggestion of getting together with my friend after his party.

Thanks everyone for your honest and responsible input :)

07-28-2011, 08:11 PM
Horns of a dilemma..

wedding or b-day??!!

wedding comes around once (or a few times) in someone life...

b-days... come around every year...

If it were me.. I would go to the wedding... excuse myself somewhat early.. then attend the b-day party..!

Have fun!

Lisa :carrot: