The Maintenance Library - My Big Fat Secret Diet

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07-23-2011, 10:53 AM
I have lost weight many times before and gained it back, and usually, EVERYONE knew I was on a diet, and would try to get me to go off of it! My husband would get extremely sick of me talking about food and diet, and friends and relatives would tell me, Just one cookie won't hurt. Well, this time I didn't want anyone in my business!! My weight is my own concern anyway. I have been losing weight, over a fairly long period, and haven't said anything about it to anyone! It has been actually really helpful. Every once in a while someone who hasn't seen me in a while will say, " Have you lost weight?" and I say," Hmm I don't think so. Maybe." Because it takes the pressure off! It's no one's business if I weigh X amount. Obviously my husband noticed after a while that my clothes were hanging off, so I told him, must be because I've been walking more. But when no one thinks I am dieting, no one tries to get me to go off my plan! I eat normal food in smaller portions anyway, so it is much better if I don't have people looking over my shoulder or saying "Is that all you're eating?" It has really made it easier. I think it will be easier going into maintenance too, because just because I am at goal, people will say" you are thin enough, eat more!!" But if they don't know I was TRYING to lose weight, they won't and haven't been food pushing! Anyone else tried this approach? :)

07-23-2011, 11:00 AM
I think it's great what you're doing. Not just because it stops other people focussing on your 'diet' but sounds like it's stopped you being so obsessional about it too - like you say not talking about it all the time. To me this is the difference between being on a diet and adopting a different way of eating for the future. My husband knows I'm being mindful about my eating and today he said "are you allowed to eat bacon?", and I said to him "I'm allowed to eat anything", so I had a couple of slices of bacon. Of course I'm much earlier stages than you.

I'm trying not to be driven or maniacal about my weight loss. In fact I'm trying not to focus so much on weight loss as on eating differently. Weight loss then becomes an indicator of a healthier way of being, but with a healthy approach being the centre of the focus rather than the number on the scale.

Well done - you've really reinforced for me that this calmer approach is the way to go.

07-23-2011, 11:28 AM
Yes! Whenever I make a big hooplah about my diet changes people try to get me off it or try to make me more 'comfortable' by saying one cookie wont hurt etc. But if I don't say anything no one notices anything. Great plan. And knowing you have a forum here is a great outlet and plenty of support. and you're setting a healthy example through what you do, not what you say. Good luck!

07-23-2011, 01:55 PM
I completely agree!! Why do people all of a sudden think they are dieticians when someone goes on a diet!! I am soo sick of people either telling me I don't need to lose weigh (which is clearly not true) or asking if I am eating enough!!

You are doing really well - keep it up

12-11-2011, 11:18 AM
I also find it is easier if no one really knows what I am doing. I was going back and forth whether to tell my boyfriend - but he is generally supportive and never brings it up on his own, I always have to intiate the conversation.

I've found the general advice is "Let everyone know you are on a diet because it makes you accountable." This may work for some, but not all. Not me.

Maybe there is something about our personalities: perhaps we are very private, perhaps we feel we can do a task better when we feel like no one is overseeing it, perhaps not losing or winning will make us feel a sense of shame when we are around others....

I'm glad you wrote this post. I've felt like this for a large portion of my life, but never actually put it into words.

12-11-2011, 08:39 PM
I feel the same way. My husband knows because he is also on the wagon, but other than that I don't say anything about it to anyone. I think it's kind of embarrassing to draw attention to it, and I don't really feel like I have anything to gain by talking to other people about it. I don't want anyone looking me up and down every time they see me to see if what I'm doing is working. Plus, I feel like if I told people and they said, "Oh, yeah, it looks like you've lost weight" it would only be because I had told them I was trying, not because they really noticed. This way, when I get compliments I know it's because I am looking different.

10-23-2013, 01:23 AM
When you say you're on a diet everyone seems to have an opinion. When I told one of the women I work with what I had for lunch one day she looked at me disapprovingly because her idea of a diet is carrot sticks and water, LOL. Other times when I've mentioned what I eat through the day (I'm on WW) they say "You eat all that and still lose weight?" LOL, yes. I think there advantages to not telling people you're trying to lose weight.