100 lb. Club - Fat people don't exercise or they'd be skinny

07-21-2011, 06:48 PM

A FB friend posted a message that was directed at an unidentified person. It said, roughly, "So you just ran 10 miles, huh? Then why are you still so big?"

The comments to the post were even worse. Lots of verbal jeering. One even commented, "And they want to sit on the couch eating all day and then be models?" Most didn't believe the claim of the person who posted she had run 10 miles, without even knowing who that person was.

What? I posted to let them know that fat people do, indeed, exercise (and the unspoken message was that we also read FB updates). The response was that if you exercise, you should be dieting too so you can get the full benefit of it, and so that she can notice it. My last reply, which ended the thread (Yahoo??) was that people exercise for reasons other than to lose weight, and in my mind, it's more impressive for a fat girl to run 10 miles than for a skinny girl, although both deserve mad respect.

So - what's up with that? I really like this girl. We go to law school together, and I happen to know she's in the bottom 10% of our class (cuz she told me), while I'm in the top (which she knows because I'm on Law Review, but I would never tell anyone). I would NEVER post harsh things on FB about stupid people or people who are struggling in law school. (She's not stupid, BTW - she works super hard and has a double major and is a single mother. In fact, I think she's pretty awesome in general.)

This, in combination with some of the posts I've seen about teenagers making pig noises and people walking down the street and getting mooed at, makes me wonder how seemingly normal people can be so hurtful. Do they think our fat insulates us from insults?

07-21-2011, 06:57 PM
I think it's very sad at the way our society in general has made especially women feel like they have to reach some seemingly impossible ideal of thinness. It's absolutely ludicrous IMO! I mean who the heck ever said that every female had to be a carbon copy of Jennifer Aniston or every male had to have Brad Pitt's 'Fight Club' abs?!? How unbelievably boring life would be if we all looked the same. Geesh!

The older I get, the less shocked I am by people's behavior. I've come across a lot of 'strange birds' in my time. But I've learned that people who do the hurling of insults are really insecure with themselves...and that's on them. Not on you. Don't let anyone steal your thunder even a 'so-called' friend. Just a thought. :)

07-21-2011, 06:58 PM
Fatphobia annoys the heck out of me. Why is it ok to tell a fat person off, but not a skinny person who may be living an unhealthy lifestyle? Before I started dieting, I exercised all the time at 200lbs and a bmi of 36! That's obese class 2! Right now Ive added even MORE exercise.

Fat is the last "acceptable" form of discrimination it seems since these bigots can no longer get away with racism, sexism and homophobia. Eventually I would hope that "size" becomes a protected class (I know that in some places it is) as there is far too much demonization of obese/overweight folks

07-21-2011, 06:59 PM
That is exactly why I don't do Facebook. Too many insults, harsh words and downright lies.

07-21-2011, 07:01 PM
I think the people that can say such things are so lost in their own misery, the other person's reaction to such rude comments isn't even part of the equation.

It's definitely disheartening to hear so much of this going on from the women I love on 3FC but really, all we can do is pity those fools who shove others down to lift themselves us and hope that, some day, before it's too late, they figure life out. Well, that....and to whoop some a$$ everynow and then! ;)

07-22-2011, 06:12 AM
Fatphobia annoys the heck out of me. Why is it ok to tell a fat person off, but not a skinny person who may be living an unhealthy lifestyle? Before I started dieting, I exercised all the time at 200lbs and a bmi of 36! That's obese class 2! Right now Ive added even MORE exercise.

Fat is the last "acceptable" form of discrimination it seems since these bigots can no longer get away with racism, sexism and homophobia. Eventually I would hope that "size" becomes a protected class (I know that in some places it is) as there is far too much demonization of obese/overweight folks

Wholeheartedly agree with the first part of your post. My step sister-in-law was one of those blessed with an INSANE metabolism (before she became a mom. Now it's slowed down a fair bit). Her diet used to consist of candy, poptwinkies, doughnuts, the occasional fruit smoothie, and a Subway sandwich once a day.

I used to work with her years ago, and when I saw the items she brought to work (snack cakes, huge bags of penny candy, chips, chocolate) yet she weighed maybe 115 pounds...I was in shock. It seemed completely unfair. My main sin at the time was pizza and chips, obviously bad, but still, I got steaming mad when she had the nerve to start giving me diet advice. I told her to take a look at what she was eating. She actually said to me "so? Obviously I'm still eating healthier than you". At work I ate a piece of fruit, raw veggies, and a (low cal) frozen meal pretty much every day. At work I got better nutrition than she got in her entire day, but she was somehow still better than me? I could have punched her, lol.

So many naturally skinny people who can eat whatever they want have this messed up sense of superiority to the rest of us. They did nothing but win a genetic lottery, yet we get stepped on by people like them constantly.

I'm going to stop before I *really* start ranting.

07-22-2011, 07:55 AM
I agree about them being insecure. It's the truth plain and simple. People really enjoy hurting or talking about others because they themselves are not happy. And in some sick way it makes them feel better to think oh I'm not fat, or I'm not this or that. It kind of justifies their being to say they aren't something when someone else is or vise versa. I just try to remember, that when people are so mean or so sick, pedophiles, killers, just plain out mean they are that way for a reason. I actually pity people like that. I always wonder what happened so bad to you that you act or do these things and they SEEM acceptable. It's crazy to me.

As far as the people who stuff them selves of unhealthy food and stay skinny it doesn't matter. For many it will catch up to them as they age, and also they aren't healthy at all.

As far as your friend, awesome of you sticking up for her. I also hope she isn't too hurt by it but I know she probably is. Though, I can understand some people need to justify themselves or feel better about a problem they may not have, it still hurts me when it happens.

I think it's amazing she did 10 miles, and not because she's supposedly big but because she did 10 MILES! I'm amazed at anyone who does that. Good for her! And good for you for caring. I always remind myself Karma's more of a ***** than I am, I'll let karma deal with it. :)

07-22-2011, 09:44 AM
It's sad really and I think people are totally misguided of what strength is, muscle mass etc. I have always been big but have always been MUCH stronger than most people. Even now while I've started working out I can do pushups where there are lots of my skinny friends who can't even do 1!!! You can't judge what a person does, if they exercise or not all based on outter appearences. I know lots of skinny girls but they are skinny fat....a good friend of my mine is a size 2 and has high cholesterol! You can't judge it, it's unaware people who only see black and white. Just realize that....and don't give them your energy, you will talk til your blue in the face they won't ever see another's perception!

07-22-2011, 10:17 AM
This is exactly why I always hate posting on FB when I exercise...but I do it because it keeps me accountable and inspires a few people to do what they need to do as well.

07-22-2011, 12:13 PM
Oh gawd the Facebook health experts *roll eyes*. If stupidity could be harnessed into energy, FB would be a top provider.

I know how it feels. I have tons of skinnier friends who don't do any type of exercise and still feel the need to spew health advise. Truth is, I live a much healthier lifestyle than them but I don't say anything because I don't look like it. It sucks to be honest.

07-22-2011, 12:21 PM
I'm pretty picky about who I facebook friend so I don't have to read silly like that. That person better learn better though if she plans to be a lawyer. Facebook and other online silly can affect your career, believe it or not.

I think those who insult fat people? They are insecure and/or ignorant. They feel the need to push others down so they feel better because they do not know how to pump themselves up in better ways.

Or they are ignorant and simply do not know what it is to be fat or what it is to lose weight. What if the excercising 200 lb person they jeer used to weigh 300? They come off sounding stupid/mean when spouting nonsense like that.


07-22-2011, 01:19 PM
An old friend of mine had high cholesterol at ten years old. She was very, very skinny. Me, at my highest, still had excelent levels of cholesterol. A lot of people take it for granted and think it's the same for everyone when it isn't.
An awesome blog I read daily had a post a while ago about olimpic athletes and their perfect bodies. Here are some pics:
http://s3.postimage.org/ze8si4as/1_a_a_a_corpo_perfeito_diversidade.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/ze8si4as/)
http://s3.postimage.org/zepbvl8k/1_a_a_a_corpo_perfeito_atl_oli.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/zepbvl8k/)
http://s3.postimage.org/zeqzexqc/1_a_a_a_corpo_perfeito_peso.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/zeqzexqc/)
http://s3.postimage.org/zf7iseo4/1_a_a_a_a_unif_atletas_variedade.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/zf7iseo4/)

They are all different, and some are quite fat.

07-22-2011, 02:03 PM
With weight loss there's often this over-riding assumption that everyone is the same, and if you say you're different than the norm (or the normally accepted stereotype), you're probably lying.

When I was young and active, I ate healthy foods for the most part. I really did hate fast food, and I was active. I also ate huge, huge, huge portions, and 9,000 calorie days weren't unusual. It was actually amazing that I didn't weigh more.

Now I'm eating a much more appropriate calorie level, but my activity level is almost nil because of pain and mobility issues.

When I was young and active, I was accused of lying about my activity level and of lying when I said that I rarely ate fast food because I hated it. People said stuff like "no one eating that healthy and being that active can weigh more than 300 lbs". Even when I pointed out that I knew i was eating way too much and described how much I was eating (even quoting the 9,000 calorie level) people were still disbelieving. "You can't eat enough healthy food to get to that many calories. I assured them that I had. Still disbelief. They gained their weight on fast food and watching tv, so I must have also.


Now, I have people say the same types of things about my current lifestyle. "There's no way someone weighing over 300 lbs can be eating under 2500 calories and not lose weight - it's impossible. Even when I point out that my lifestyle is extremely sedentary. I'm becoming more and more active as I'm able, but my "more active" is still grossly sendentary. My every day activity level makes your average couch potato with a desk job seem like an olympic athlete.

As a rule people (even sometimes obese people) still don't get that obesity isn't a one-size-fits-all problem, and there won't be a one-size-fits-all solution, either.

07-22-2011, 04:03 PM
I love Facebook! But, I, too am VERY careful who are on my friends list and if they were to hurl insults like that at ANYONE, I'd give them a piece of my mind and then a piece of my Cyber boot off my list. Occasionally, though, I am subjected to the mAsses via an NPR posting response or some other outer circle of my cyber world. And then, I have to choose - am I wanting to get involved with these idiots in some mean debate or am I just letting them go and sending a little prayer for their ignorant hearts and minds to be opened somewhere along their journey.

The Internet (and its anonymity) allows people to be hateful *******s to each other. But, as demonstrated in these forums, it allows for an amazing support group and some decent connections to people you form relationships with. I just try to Educate as much as I can, ask questions like "What have YOU done today? Have YOU run 10 miles?" Only because I like to watch the feathers fluff and fly in defensive rambles. I find it entertaining! The more they balk, the more you've gotten to them. Or that's my reasoning.

Those jerks are everywhere. I say all we can do is live the example and prove them wrong. At the end of the day, I answer to me.

07-22-2011, 05:45 PM
awwwww that's cute! it's almost like you haven't realized yet that PEOPLE SUCK?! LOL sorry but next you'll be saying that people think hot blondes are dumb! or chinese people can't drive! Stereotypes are all over the place, people are stupid and mean and say horrible things.

07-22-2011, 05:49 PM
Such thoughtful and interesting responses. I love that there are like-minded people out there, and I especially love that there's an understanding that things aren't always what you think they are because you only see through the lens of your own experience.

Here's the thing, though. This person is someone I genuinely like and admire. She's incredibly outspoken, and I love this part of her as well. I don't think it makes her a bad person to post what she did - I just think it makes her wrong and ignorant. And while I don't believe responding and creating a dialogue will change the world, I know remaining silent and ignoring her won't either.

So, I respond. Not obsessively, and hopefully very respectfully. I have seen way too many fat people embarrassed to exercise or to join in group physical activity (like dancing) because of these socially-acceptable kinds of garbage. She is a black single mother - it is my hope that she will one day recognize that the type of thing she posted is every bit as reprehensible as someone else talking about how lazy black single mothers are. Cuz she ain't remotely lazy. And I've heard people make that comment. And if I posted on FB that black single mothers were lazy (which, thank goodness, is socially unacceptable as well as untrue), she would totally call me out. And now I've returned the favor. =)

Edited to say: Trazey - Yep - I don't think people suck. I think they're awesome. And I've read enough of your posts to believe you're kind of awesome too!

07-22-2011, 05:54 PM
It sucks that this is how people think. but it is no surprise. its all over the place. ignorance

but we know how it really is. let them think what they want. the words only hurt if we let them.

07-22-2011, 06:07 PM
I think most of the time ignorance, is simply that - people don't know any better. When the stereotypes are wide spread and culturally acceptable though, people can be extremely resistant to education - even in the presence of proof to the contrary.

Still, it's hard to expect thin people to know better, when many fat people have the same beliefs and stereotypes (and generally are harder to persuade otherwise).

With so many fat people hating themselves and others for being "disgusting and lazy," how can we expect to change the minds of thin people?

07-22-2011, 11:47 PM
You guys have all summed up the problem and the answers to the OP, so I just want to comment on the photos Mya posted.

What a great statement of the many different shapes of our top athletes! My initial reaction, however, had nothing to do with size - I just noticed how pure white the weightlifter in the 3rd panel looked (except for his tee-shirt tan!) compared to everyone else! LOL We all perceive things differently, I guess. That's probably the real problem with the FB comment in the first place.


07-23-2011, 10:02 AM
I wanted to do an experiment on FB. I don't usually post anythig about my weight or weightloss efforts. Last night I posted my weightless and inch loss for this week and received an almost immediate outpouring of love and support. In fact, it's like my most liked and commented on post ever. I am shocked. So far nothing bad. My friends are awesome :)

07-23-2011, 02:42 PM
I consider my FB activities to be on the "lite" side, and don't post anything very personal at all. And I think about who I friend. Luckily, you can unfriend people easily too, so you don't have to subject yourself to anything too obnoxious if you don't want to.

re: the photos Mya posted. I loved those too.

frankly, I don't know if I could run 10 miles, but I can certainly appreciate anyone who can, no matter what his or her size. and yes, I totally agree that it's even more of an accomplishment for a bigger person -- for social and physical reasons.

I agree too that a person can be exercising for lots of health reasons tied, not so much tied, and not tied to losing weight -- two being for enjoyment of it and the pride of accomplishment. Larger sized people should not be shamed into not trying or enjoying the process. I know I've had to struggle with my embarrassment, and have let it stop me from doing things I know I'd enjoy. That's just not right and sad. I think it's good you spoke up.