100 lb. Club - Stress of Playing Caretaker due to accident




CanadianCutie
07-18-2011, 09:51 AM
Well, yesterday afternoon my Dad had an accident. He was using his nail gun and it misfired and went through the wrist of his dominant hand. He's ok. We got him to the ER and they put him under and took it out. He sees a hand and upper limb specialist on Tuesday. It's in a soft cast so he's pretty much stuck when it comes to doing every day things.
I don't mind taking care of him, but I know it's going to cause stress over the course of the next few weeks, just wonder if anyone has any coping mechanisms? I've got myself a cup of tea and a good book for now.


djs06
07-18-2011, 11:00 AM
ARGH, I've tried to reply to this twice and have gotten database errors both times and it's erased my response, so sorry if this is brief...

I'm so sorry to hear about the accident and I hope your dad has a speedy recovery!

I think one of hte most important coping mechanisms in a case like this is making sure you have some 'you' time, even if it's only a few minutes. Get out of the house, take a walk, or take that book to the park, or go get some tea or coffee out of the house. Or if socializing is more relaxing, meet up with a friend and chat. It'll do you a world of good to see the world beyond those four walls, believe me- even if time is limited. :)

CanadianCutie
07-18-2011, 12:01 PM
Thanks djs06. I'm having some together time with my long distance fiance at the moment so that's helping cheer me up.


JamiSue3916
07-18-2011, 12:31 PM
I agree with djs06. Tea and a book are a great start and the only improvement I would suggest is to take that tea and book out of the house. If I'm around, I KNOW I am going to fell compelled to interupt my me time to help out, even it's something non-urgent, and can wait. If you're out of the house for a while, it seems like you'll be more likely to focuse solely on you.

BEST OF LUCK! To you and your Dad for a speedy recovery!

Kae
07-18-2011, 11:07 PM
I feel your pain... My mother has a type of "life-long" leukemia and was just diagnosed with breast cancer a week ago. She's going to be having surgery in the next 2 weeks and I know I'll be bumping up the caretaker role more than normal as well.

I think stress is to be expected for both of us. My big issue will be not to stress eat. You just have to find something that gives you that feeling of escape... a bath, a walk, art, cranking some music, exercise, emailing a friend, gardening, etc. Just pick a passion and let it take you away. :)

And of course you can always post here... we'll listen!

Skinny in Oz
07-19-2011, 09:10 PM
CandianCutie, I am so sorry about your father. I hope everything goes well with his doctors and their prognosis.

In addition to the wonderful advice everyone has already given you, I wonder if it might help you stress-wise, etc. to stay on program? It will be more difficult because of all the additional work and time and emotional rollercoaster of caring for you dad, bu it also would give you one area where you really are in control.

Keep us posted about how everything goes and if you need to privately vent, I can't think of a better place than 3FC.

CanadianCutie and Kae, both ---- :hug: for your difficulties. You are both wonderful daughters.

linJber
07-20-2011, 12:04 AM
Hope all goes well with your dad. My only added word of advice is to try to plan ahead for meals. It's easier to stay OP if you have the things you need in the house and don't have to run to get them.

Lin

SMess
07-20-2011, 12:19 PM
Don't forget that it's okay to feel a little selfish sometimes, a little angry. It's a normal reaction to taking on such a big responsibility. My mom has stage 4 breast cancer, and she's refused traditional treatment so unless some sort of miracle pops up we're working on giving her a few good weeks. I'm her primary caretaker, and it's a lot. Sometimes I feel like it's too much, and I know you'll reach that point too. Just remember that it is OKAY to be upset. Trying to make yourself feel guilty about how you feel will only make things worse. So, acknowledge your feelings. You have a right to them.

I read a book in my back yard when my mom is sleeping - it's very relaxing and gets me 'out of the house'. When I don't feel like reading, I sit outside and give/get support on 3FC. This forum has helped me so much with the caretaker issue, it's almost been more of a help there than with the weight loss! But I know, too, that having a place to vent has helped me stay OP. I know I would have given up by now had it not been for this place. So don't forget to keep checking in, as often as you need to! We're all here for you. That's what this place is all about.

Good luck, and I hope your dad has a speedy recovery. :hug:

Skinny in Oz
07-20-2011, 03:39 PM
Oh Smess ---- how terribly hard for everyone in your family. There just aren't words enough....

:hug: