Weight Loss Support - Depressed about weght gain




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successgirl
07-17-2011, 01:12 AM
Hello everyone, I'm new to the forum but I'm glad I found it. Well, I'm 33 single with no children and currently feeling terrible about my weight issue. I, like many people have struggled with my weight my whole life, and have had to deal with many consequences due to obesity. In 2007, I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to undergo gastric bypass surgery. Shortly after the surgery I managed to loose close to 80 lbs and felt relief physically and mentally. But, 4 years later..... here I am 20lbs heavier than my lowest point after the surgery and I feel miserable. Lately, I feel like I'm depressed just like I've always been when I'm gaining weight and you know what..... I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll go back to the weight I used to be, scared that my hypertension will come back, scared that I'll develop type 2 diabetes and many more.

I do have to admit to myself that it's my fault. I simply stopped everything I was supposed to do. I stoped working out, stopped following my diet, stopped staying active, and worst of all; I started eating candy and sweets again. I know they say with the surgery you shouldn't be able to eat candy, but somehow my body has adjusted to it. Anyway, I just need support and advice on how to begin. And maybe this time I'll stay on the wagon to finally get to my goal of 160lbs. Thanks guys.


tuende
07-17-2011, 01:37 AM
You know what? I like your screen name. Positivity always helps you start out on the right foot. Sounds to me like you already know what you need to do to loose the weight. Shoot, you did it before and were very successful! I would take a close look at why you stopped doing those things. What got in your way (or in my case, what did you put in your way?)? What held you back? How can you overcome it? Then I'd focus on why it is important to you to get back on the wagon and lose the weight? For me, it's a mixture of health, life goals and pure vanity. Having specific reasons written down helps me be intentional in the choices I make. Even if it's hard to get to the gym, I know that doing it will get me closer to seeing my abs (they're under there, I swear!) You can definitely get to your goal of 160 lbs- let that "why" motivate you!

KatieC87
07-17-2011, 01:42 AM
Hi, successgirl! Congrats on losing 80 pounds! That is no small feat, and even though you're disappointed right now, you should still be proud of you accomplishment.

Use the feelings you're experiencing right now to propel yourself forward. Sure, you gained 20 pounds back. You messed up. You're human. We all do it. But you can make a change right now. It doesn't have to be tomorrow or Monday or August 1. You can start making the choices to right your mistakes this very minute.

You don't have to do anything drastic at first. In fact, I find that I'm more likely to stick to any positive change if I do it one step at a time. For me, that means setting small goals every week. My first goal was just to record what food I was eating during the day and how many calories were in each meal for one week. I think it's really important to know what's going into your body before you make a plan to fix it. (And it's so hard to know without recording because a lot of the time we just don't realize how much we're eating or how bad we're eating.) So I think that's a good place to start with your food.

It sounds like you used to lead an active life. Good for you! I'd start slowly here as well. What did you like to do for exercise before? For me, I like using our school's gym. My first week exercising I did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine at level 6 (which is all I could handle). The first day, I only made it to 21 minutes, 30 seconds. My goal the next day was simply to go longer than that time, and I did! The next week, I added weight training to my regime.

If you love walking/jogging/running outdoors, maybe make it a goal to walk 20 minutes outside your first week. Then, as you feel comfortable, you can increase your distance or your time. I just think it's so important to start small. I'm usually the "all or nothing" type, but it's so easy to burn out when your goal is to immediately start going to the gym for 1.5 hour workouts 5-6 days a week. (Believe me, I thought about it for a brief moment. I thought You did it before, so you can do it again now. But that's so unrealistic, and it just sets me up for failure.)

It sounds like you have great health motivators to turn things around. It's all in your hands now. As another poster on this forum recently said... You can take a step forward or a step back. Your choice. I'm sure you'll get great advice from other members of 3FC. Welcome to the forum! :)


successgirl
07-17-2011, 01:43 AM
Thank you so much Tuende, your reply mean alot to me. And you're right, I need to figure out what happened to me and fix it. I really appreciate it. And congratulation on your weight loss, it's amazing can you share how you did it.

successgirl
07-17-2011, 01:49 AM
Thank you so much katiec87, Your advice is very helpful, in fact I've decided to go for half hour walks everyday starting monday. There's no more excuses I need to confront this problem head on.

KatieC87
07-17-2011, 02:48 AM
Thank you so much katiec87, Your advice is very helpful, in fact I've decided to go for half hour walks everyday starting monday. There's no more excuses I need to confront this problem head on.

Great attitude! :-D If it helps at all, I'll be sweating it out on the elliptical machine Monday. Solidarity!

xxkaleidoscopic
07-17-2011, 03:07 AM
Congrats on losing the initial weight, first of all. I will say, the good news is that, unlike many other dieters, you have already lost a lot of weight, so you know what you need to do. Twenty pounds will feel like nothing in no time!

savanahfloc
07-17-2011, 03:23 AM
Dear, You have to learn to love yourself the way you are. Your pants size does not define you. I know it's hard to remember that on bad days. But if you are ever going to make a long lasting lifestyle change, it's gotta start on the inside.
Look at Oprah for God's sake! She gets very big at times, but she is one of the most loved women in the world.
Just saying, you need to learn to love yourself for who you are <3

lin43
07-17-2011, 08:20 AM
Thank you so much katiec87, Your advice is very helpful, in fact I've decided to go for half hour walks everyday starting monday. There's no more excuses I need to confront this problem head on.

Start today; don't wait until Monday. I'm not trying to be obnoxious, but I can't tell you how many times I said "I'll start Monday" and never started.

Also, what I've found helpful is doing activity that has a purpose. Everyone is different, but for me, I just hate doing gym-type exercise just for the sake of exercise. So, this summer, I've been doing purposeful activity---an hour of unplanned, nonroutine housework, riding my bike to the store, walking to a destination rather than driving, etc. When I have a non-weight loss goal, I tend to stick to things more (this even applies with eating).

lovehopefaith
07-17-2011, 10:36 AM
Thank you so much katiec87, Your advice is very helpful, in fact I've decided to go for half hour walks everyday starting monday. There's no more excuses I need to confront this problem head on.

It sounds like you've had it tough! It can be a hard journey hey.

Just remember, this is your life! You totally have the power to reach your goals, don't let anything get in your way :)

April Snow
07-17-2011, 01:04 PM
first of all - yes, you put back 20 lbs, but you are STOPPING NOW, before it's the whole 80 lbs that you lost and then some. So that is a major victory right there!!

Second, you know exactly what you did wrong - you stopped doing the stuff that was working. So you know WHAT to do, it's just a question of finding the motivation.

Third, you found 3fc, so you are well on your way to tackling the second thing because this is a great place for support and inspiration and motivation. Poke around, post a LOT, join some challenges and groups that match you on amount of weight to lose, your age range, others who have had the same surgery - you can get support for all aspects of your journey.

And then finally, the name you picked is wonderful and you are are well on your way to making that name come true!

ChickieChicks
07-17-2011, 01:56 PM
As hard as it is...you CAN'T look back! It's over and you didn't do what you were "supposed tp". Well, neither did I. None of us did, or we wouldn't be here! LOL

We are all starting NOW and CONTINUING. I have to fight myself all the time when I get those thoughts, like, "Why didn't I do this years ago?" But I have changed my life now and you can, too!

KatieC87
07-17-2011, 02:16 PM
Also, what I've found helpful is doing activity that has a purpose. Everyone is different, but for me, I just hate doing gym-type exercise just for the sake of exercise. So, this summer, I've been doing purposeful activity---an hour of unplanned, nonroutine housework, riding my bike to the store, walking to a destination rather than driving, etc. When I have a non-weight loss goal, I tend to stick to things more (this even applies with eating).

This is good advice! I like the feeling I get from going to the gym, but I know I could be helped by doing "purposeful" exercise instead. For instance, if I rode my bike to work, I couldn't just say, "Well, I don't want to exercise, so no work today!" (Of course, that's another subject because we live in a "bad" side of town, and my husband doesn't want me walking/riding a bike in the area.)

Starting a hobby that requires exercise - like gardening or other types of yard work - can really help. We just moved into our first house (we rent, didn't buy), and simply raking the yard after my husband mows gave me a workout. It also gave me a farmer's tan. ;)

tuende
07-17-2011, 03:30 PM
Thank you so much Tuende, your reply mean alot to me. And you're right, I need to figure out what happened to me and fix it. I really appreciate it. And congratulation on your weight loss, it's amazing can you share how you did it.

Oh gosh... it's been quite the process! There's no simple answer, I just kept working at it, counting calories, working out hard and learning as much as I could about nutrition and weight loss. Figuring out the mental stuff is way harder than the physical, but I had to let go of a lot of my old BS, give up on the excuses and decide that I wasn't goinng to let anything get in my way. Turns out I actually have a lot of control over a lot of things in my life ;). There have been ups and downs, I am constantly tweaking my plan, but I continue to focus on that "why" to help me get through the rough patches. One of the most valuable things I have learned through all of this is how far I can push myself and how capable I really am. I never believed this before and while this has been something that I learned in the realm of weight-loss and fitness, it has translated to every other area of my life. It's not going to be easy, but you are completely capable of doing it too! Be brave, be patient, you are strong enough for this journey.

rubyred7
07-17-2011, 05:01 PM
"Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. " ~Mary Pickford

Like you I have been struggling with my weight my whole life, it's not easy and often you and family around you define you by the size you are, but like savanahfloc said, you aren't defined by your pant size.

You did an amazing thing by getting the surgery, and an even more amazing thing by restarting you desire to lose the weight again, that's I love that quote so much, because even though you may think that you have failed at losing weight, you started over, you got and decided to fight for what it was you wanted. And for that you deserve a big roun of applause.

Something that has been working for me is setting rewards for myself every 10lbs I lose. Don't reward yourself with food, but with like shoes, or mini vactions, spa trips, things like that. So that you are working towards something.

Also another thing is don't think just because you needed to lose weight that you aren't attractive to men, because trust me if a guy loves you--he loves you for you. Your are beautiful and deserve to be loved and romanced just as any other woman deserves to be. Keep up the great work! And smile it will be ok!

successgirl
07-19-2011, 04:07 PM
Thanks everyone, your words mean alot to me.