Weight Loss Support - Personality changes and weight loss




tricon7
07-14-2011, 04:21 PM
Here's a good article on how we sometimes change our way of thinking - for good and bad - once we've lost a good deal of weight.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2014528/How-losing-weight-change-personality--better.html


theox
07-14-2011, 04:38 PM
Not territory I've trod myself, but it seems to me that this article is a pretty good example of unhealthy post-weight-loss thinking. It sounds like she has some unresolved issues with food and old habits.

It also sounds like she might have trust issues or something (like a dysfunctional marriage). She says she did WW, which has probably published a dump truck's worth of recipes - many of which are pretty tasty, and she won't let her husband cook for her because she thinks he might "sneak fat into things?"

Lady's got other issues. Losing the weight just exposed them.

EagleRiverDee
07-14-2011, 04:40 PM
Good article, thanks!


fight2winthis
07-14-2011, 05:32 PM
Interesting.. i was like that when I first lost alot of weight, but i've learned to relax and do my best to go with the flow while still being true to myself

IsabellaOlivia
07-14-2011, 05:43 PM
I think there's some issues going on that run deeper than losing weight.

zoodoo613
07-14-2011, 05:45 PM
I'm just not willing to go there, which probably means I'll never be especially skinny.

swtbttrfly23
07-14-2011, 05:55 PM
Not territory I've trod myself, but it seems to me that this article is a pretty good example of unhealthy post-weight-loss thinking. It sounds like she has some unresolved issues with food and old habits.

It also sounds like she might have trust issues or something (like a dysfunctional marriage). She says she did WW, which has probably published a dump truck's worth of recipes - many of which are pretty tasty, and she won't let her husband cook for her because she thinks he might "sneak fat into things?"

Lady's got other issues. Losing the weight just exposed them.

I have to agree, there are tons of fantastic, healthy recipes out there, especially from WW! I think there's more going on with this lady and the weight loss is just an excuse. Great article though, I am absolutely determined to get the weight off, but just as determined NEVER to end up like this.

theCandEs
07-14-2011, 05:55 PM
Zoodoo, you don't have to be like that lady to lose weight. I've lost 55 pounds, and I don't find her article speaking to me at all. I'm just not like her. She has some serious issues.

ShanIAm
07-14-2011, 05:57 PM
I was a control freak when I was an out of control binger. Now that I have the binging under control I am letting more and more things get out of control. Like laundry, vacuuming, dusting, etc. I'm by no means a slob but I don't obsess about those things anymore. I guess because, like the woman in the article, I've transferred my control issues onto food and exercise and how I look.

So, yeah -- I understand this mentality. Luckily I don't have some poor boyfriend or husband at home looking like a wounded bird who just wants to make me a freaking cheeseburger!

Oh, and I have other personality changes too but I won't go there. :D

shishkeberry
07-14-2011, 06:57 PM
Wow, that lady has some problems, and weight loss isn't it. It's ok to eat unhealthy things on occasion! Really, it is! I hope I don't end up like that. I really don't think I will. I trust my DF not to add things to my food and I'm just not willing to give up some things forever. Yikes

CherryPie99
07-14-2011, 07:08 PM
See, this is exactly what I was just talking to people about at work - I feel like I wasn't completely living when I was fat. I don't want to be one of these people who is thin but is a boring miserable b!tch that can't enjoy life! No thanks.

darius
07-14-2011, 07:09 PM
Lady's got other issues. Losing the weight just exposed them.

Smart analysis

April Snow
07-14-2011, 07:09 PM
I'm just not willing to go there, which probably means I'll never be especially skinny.

I'm not willing to go there either, which I think means I'll be a happy person in a smaller and fitter body!

I do agree that I would not try to diet down to a size where I would have to painstakingly assess every single bite I eat, but I think that, as most others have said, she's got a lot of other issues going on. I don't think I'll ever be disgusted by overweight people and want to put tape on their mouths so they can't eat. If anything, I'd be sad that they haven't found the right plan and motivation to lose the weight because with even just 25 lbs gone, I feel so much better that I can't even begin to think how great it will feel when it's 2 or 3 times that much gone!

lin43
07-14-2011, 07:16 PM
The writer seems to have a dangerous "all or nothing" mentality about food and weight. I can slightly understand her trepidation with having her husband cook their meals regularly. My husband often cooks (more during the winter, though), and I have to continually remind him not to use too much oil, butter, etc. The thing is, my husband has never had a weight problem and thinks my concerns are just silly. "Just eat less" is his motto. I don't put it past him to sneak more butter or oil into a dish because it tastes better and he would just justify it by saying, "It won't kill her."

However, the writer seems to be obsessive. I don't like her self-righteous attitude about people who are overweight. Also, all those goodies that she looks down upon could be worked into a plan; she would just need to eat much smaller portions.

Esofia
07-14-2011, 07:26 PM
Another gem from the Daily Fail, eh. She sounds like she's alternating bingeing with starving, rather than the sensible plan WW suggest. Chamomile tea and a slice of cucumber is not a meal. For heaven's sake, I'm only on 1100 calories and I'm managing to have a tasty, fulfilling diet. Someone of her height should not have so much trouble, especially in maintenance.

darius
07-14-2011, 07:26 PM
The writer seems to have a dangerous "all or nothing" mentality about food and weight.

Yes well said.

tuende
07-14-2011, 07:52 PM
She seems to think that thin people live in misery, desperately clinging to their 'thinness' and that now that she has lost weight, this is her lot in life too. Through the complaining, she seems to want to distance herself from her past and from anyone overweight and instead identify with her misconceptions of 'what thin people do'. It's like she weirdly takes pride in this misery, like it makes her one of the 'cool kids'. Notice she never mentions wanting to eat more or improve her damaged relationships or in any way go back to her non-control-freak ways. She just kind of throws up her hands and says, "well, it's just part of being thin, which I am now, in case you forgot." I really doubt that what she's feeling about her relationships has anything to do with what she eats and everything to do with her crazy attitude. She's living like this because she wants to- and it seems like she's loving every attention-getting second of it. Girl seriously needs to get a grip!

Nola Celeste
07-14-2011, 08:05 PM
I'm sorry for that woman.

There was a post on these forums a week or so ago titled something like, "Is it worth it?" It made me think about how much effort I'm really willing to put into weight loss and what it's worth to me to have the fat gone. Reading this article made me realize that if I developed that writer's Issues-with-a-capital-I about food, eating and body image, I would not consider it worth it.

She sounds miserable.

I'm surprised that the article was published as-is; it's pretty disturbed thinking, and as others noted, the writer's problems are not just with weight. When you become suicidally depressed because you broke over on your viciously restrictive diet, you should seek professional help, not a few column inches in the Daily Mail.

Lovely
07-14-2011, 08:58 PM
I was cringing as I read that article. I want to be fit and healthier, but for goodness sake I'm going to occasionally have a piece of cake without feeling like I'm on death row.

xxkaleidoscopic
07-15-2011, 06:51 AM
I think we all agree she has some other, very serious mental issues. Possibly Orthorexia (an eating disorder in which those afflicted become obsessed with eating healthily and often over exercising, to the point that it disrupts their lives and harms relationships). It's all so sad. She says she feels sexy and confident and powerful, but I sincerely doubt it. How can you feel sexy when you're terrified that you might still be fat? How can you be confident when you're second guessing every nourishment choice? How can you be powerful when your life is ruled by food?

JessLess
07-15-2011, 07:53 AM
Sorry to keep beating this drum, but without self-acceptance, fat or thin, I don't think people can reach their full potential or living life in a positive way.

I'm very lucky, my husband does a great job cooking for me to my parameters. He even measures things for me so I can calorie count.

zoodoo613
07-15-2011, 08:04 AM
Zoodoo, you don't have to be like that lady to lose weight. I've lost 55 pounds, and I don't find her article speaking to me at all. I'm just not like her. She has some serious issues.

I don't think you need to be like her to lose weight. I'm pretty confident that if I stick with what I'm doing (that's where my confidence is a little shaky) I can get into a healthy weight range. But to take it the extra step and get really tiny? I think that probably takes a level of commitment, and possibly neurosis, that I don't, and don't want to, have. I'm not one who says, "Nothing is ever worth going off plan for." I've seen that around these boards. It's not that uncommon. And for me, there are often things worth going off plan for. Or maybe I'm not off plan, because I"m not telling myself its wrong, but it's not ideal either. And I'm guessing that eventually, the occassional cookout/dinner out/ice cream with my kid will be what stands in the way between healthy weight and super cute tiny weight.

HappilyMe
07-15-2011, 08:13 AM
Sorry to keep beating this drum, but without self-acceptance, fat or thin, I don't think people can reach their full potential or living life in a positive way.

This is so true. I also don't think her response to weight loss is the average response. Oftentimes, weight loss just uncovers the problems people were hiding with food.

Sunshine87
07-15-2011, 08:59 AM
Oh gosh. Maintainers, please tell me that we do not turn out like this. I mean, we can't spontaneously go out and eat at a super-high calorie burger joint but geez, she is obsessed.

BeachBreeze2010
07-15-2011, 10:11 AM
Oftentimes, weight loss just uncovers the problems people were hiding with food.

I agree 110%.

It's my opinion that food is a coping mechanism for an underlying problem. When someone stops thier coping mechanism, the real problems come out. That's why I think losing weight is so hard.

For me, losing 10-25lbs doesn't force me to deal with my psychological issues so I lose that, but when I start to feel like I'm coming out of my comfort zone I tend to backslide. Each time it happens, I try to understand what those issues are as they seem to rear their ugly heads so strongly at this time.

It has helped me this time to develop new (healthier) coping mechanisms. That doesn't force me to solve all of my problems, but it lets me lose weight and deal with them more slowly and not hinder my weight loss progress.

Wannabehealthy
07-15-2011, 10:34 AM
Here's a good article on how we sometimes change our way of thinking - for good and bad - once we've lost a good deal of weight.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2014528/How-losing-weight-change-personality--better.html

Hmmm, now I would be so happy to weight 14 stone. LOL It's all relative.

Carol

KatieC87
07-15-2011, 03:14 PM
Wow! What an article!

I'm lucky that I had a healthy mother as a role model growing up. Don't even get me started about how mothers affect our own self-esteems, but she dieted the healthy way and actually maintained through exercise. She got down to 150 pounds and had to stop (she wasn't looking healthy anymore), but she splurged when she felt like it and exercised three times a week to maintain her weight loss. That's my ultimate goal. I'm not losing weight by cutting out all the things I love. For instance, one of my biggest weaknesses is chocolate. I could eat an entire bag of Reese cups if left to my own devices. Instead of giving up chocolate for life, I switched to Jell-O chocolate puddings. They're 100 calories each. I keep one with me at work (where there are delicious ice cream treats lurking in the freezer) in case I get the craving. And once I reach my goal - also 150 - I hope to maintain through exercise and (mostly) healthy eating. (This is why - no offense to anyone trying it - I've never been a fan of the low carb diets! If it's not a change I could maintain for life, it's not something I need to try for weight loss.)

Losing weight is important to me, but not so important that I would give up all the foods I love and give up important opportunities to bond with my husband through cooking and eating meals together. Just wow... I hope all of us keep a healthy mentality as we lose and maintain!

cortandcooper
07-15-2011, 04:13 PM
There's nothing about losing weight (I've done it before) that has to "turn" a person into a jerk to their friends, loved ones, acquaintances, or strangers (as she describes herself being). She's just making excuses for her severe personality problems, and hopefully she comes to terms with what's really wrong with her, for the sake of the people around her.

JoJoJo2
07-15-2011, 05:51 PM
Reading that article certainly made me laugh. I'm very glad that I am not one of her friends, loved ones, acquaintances, strangers, or whatever!

She is a paranoid mess, to say the least. Hope she gets some help, she really needs it. :wave: