Weight Loss Support - Boys, balls and the warm gooey goodness...

07-11-2011, 07:31 PM
I've been online dating. Albeit, too much, but I'm trying to make up for lost time. :o

JB: We went out on 4 dates; 3 dates too many. He took my online dating virginity so I coughed up our first couple dates as awkward because of being nervous. The 3rd date was a lot better and the 4th date was OK. But I realized that I just wasn't into him. I really wanted to be though because he was such a nice guy! We did have a 5th date planned but I cancelled the day after we planned it. I'm not proud of how I handed this, btw. I know I blindsided him. He sent me a text that said, "Fine, whatever. I'll drop off the gift I got you on your front porch sometime this week.". I wrote back that it would be inappropriate to accept the gift and he had to know that by telling me that he was going to make me feel even worse than I did. And I told him he succeeded. In actuality, he just p***ed me off. I hate guilt trips. Today he sent me text after text about how I made him feel and how I led him on and blah blah blah. :(

DS: We also had 4 dates; wish we had more. I saw him Saturday night and we went skinny dipping together. It had gotten hot and heavy at certain points during the date and we had a splendid time together as usual. Didn't hear from him Sunday which is fine. I sent him a text asking him out for drinks later this week. He wrote back saying he'd "love to go" but he can't because he has his kids from Wednesday night till Sunday. And he's busy tonight and tomorrow. I'm disappointed but my spidey 6th sense is telling me something else is up. :(

MH: We had 3 dates; 2 in one day....before he had to work and after he got off. There is an amazing physical chemistry between us and I was looking forward to seeing how things would go after a few more dates. BUT, alas, the calls and texts have been sporactic for the past 4 days. :(

I've had 1 other date with 1 other guy but when he asked me out for a 2nd date I declined. I have another date tomorrow night with someone new. I'm not really looking forward to it.

So where does this all go you ask? What do balls and gooey goodness have to do with anything? Well, I'll tell you!

A purchase of a HUGE meatball parm sandwich and 2 soft pretzels with melted creamcheese loaded inside them.

They are sitting beside me on my nightstand. I am in "binge position" and ready to gorge. I have been home for 30 minutes and I'm desperate for help and encouragement so I don't eat this crap. I just hit a goal for goodness sake!

It's really not about any of these guys. I like two of them a lot but my heart won't be broken if things don't work out. Disappointed, yes, but I won't be crying into my pillow over it! But darn it, dating should not be this crappy! The older I get the worse it seems to be.

I'm just feeling defeated today and dealing with a couple work and family issues on top of it. I was hoping this dating stuff would be fun and distracting but it's anything but.

Just a bad day......

07-11-2011, 07:41 PM

You CAN resist! You CAN choose better for yourself!

Think about tomorrow morning. Are you going to wake up and be thankful that you stepped on the grossness or are you going to wake up and regret doing something you KNOW you do not want?

You are stronger than food! :hug:

07-11-2011, 07:45 PM
go toss them in the garbage. not the guys, the food, ha!

it is a lot gooey stuff to deal with (not the food!); scream, jump up and down, punch pillows, then go watch your favorite escape movie. you can take the dating pace as slow or fast as you want. and a different dating site might even make a difference. In any event, pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there, that's not so easy!!

07-11-2011, 07:46 PM
cover them in salt and throw them away!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!

07-11-2011, 07:48 PM
Throw away the food! and dump something over it! thr food, while it may momentarily make u feel better in the long run itll make you feel crappier.


now about the guys block guy #1s number if he is getting to you, you didnt lead him on, you merely were trying to figure out what you wanted. you have that right and shouldnt be guilt tripped for it. he is out of line.

guys 2 and 3 sound like they have potential but keep in mind you are just starting dating again, you wouldnt want to be rushing into something serious right away. this is time to play the field and learn what you want. And just like you have outside commitments so do they so schedules wont always mesh up.

guy 3, if he blows you off by disappearing like that, well you wouldnt have wanted him anyways.

and its not so much the dating has gotten worse, i think the memory of how crappy it is fades, and the fading is urged along by media which portrays things as easier then they are. but all in all it should be fun, if its not then maybe you are treating it more like a chore to be done then as a chance to get out and meet new people. you may have hit date overload, i know youve been on a number of them lately, maybe you need some YOU time to curl up with a book or whatever relaxes you... that isnt the food!


itll get better!

07-11-2011, 08:13 PM
Never did any online dating but did have some unusual dates, my girlfriends husband was just sure I would really hit it off with his coworker, he finally convinced me and a double date was arranged with him, his wife and this great coworker. I have to tell you I nearly gasped when I first met him. He was drop dead gorgeous, matinee idol gorgeous unfortunately he had no personality and his table manners were a little lacking , also. Never went out with him again.
On another occasion a coworker handed me a business card and said somebody asked him to give it to me. On it was writtten, "Have dinner with me, make it soon", I did, he was a really nice guy, took me out to dinner at a lovely restaurant and dancing afterwards a nice date but just no sparks, a pleasant evening but was not interested in going out with him again. Since that time I prefer to make my own dates.

07-11-2011, 08:13 PM

OK...well... I took the sandwich to the kitchen and opened it up. The thing is, I paid for it! LOL And I wound up eating half of a half. :T Then I doused it in half and half.

There's a skinless chicken breast on the grill now.

Thanks ladies. I knew I could count on ya.

Now who has a single guy friend?

07-11-2011, 08:24 PM
good job!

07-11-2011, 08:36 PM
The thing is, I paid for it! LOL

too funny. I used to have a harder time tossing food I really didn't want to eat because I'd spent money buying it and it felt to me like a waste of money to just throw it away. Then I thought of all of the many, many, many dollars I'd spent on Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, special diet foods, books, gym membership, gadgets, scales...and well, I think you get the picture. It really is so much more of a money saver to throw out the high cal food that doesn't fit into my plan!!

PS I agree that you probably don't remember some of the less "savory" parts of the dating experience. I had one once where the guy spent 2 hours over dinner talking about himself, never asking me even one question about myself. I never got a word in edgewise. And the conversation focused on the AA meeting he was about to go to after the date and how he lived with his parents, and on and on like that. When the waiter asked if we wanted dessert, I said no and he said yes in the same moment.

07-11-2011, 09:52 PM

OK...well... I took the sandwich to the kitchen and opened it up. The thing is, I paid for it! LOL And I wound up eating half of a half. :T Then I doused it in half and half.

There's a skinless chicken breast on the grill now.

Thanks ladies. I knew I could count on ya.

Now who has a single guy friend?

Whew, I went out for a while and come back to this? So glad you ate only half or you would feel so much worse. Allow yourself treats but not this way girl! Cut out a snack somewhere and you will be no harm done ;)

07-12-2011, 05:49 AM
Now who has a single guy friend?

I know some really lovely single men. Kind, intelligent, good jobs, educated, interesting people. There are only two small snags. They're on the other side of the pond from you, and they're looking for boyfriends. Isn't that always the way? (Meanwhile, I really wish my best friend could find a boyfriend worthy of him, someone who appreciates how wonderful he is and gives him the adoration he deserves. He always seems to end up with guys who are luke-warm about him, and at the age of 33 still doesn't really feel that he deserves to be loved.)

Well done you on not scoffing the whole thing! And yep, dating is a drag. I seem to have missed the whole online dating thing, which isn't to say I haven't had disasters of my own, but friends who have done it have had anything from the usual grotty dates to meeting their future spouse. In fact, two of my cousins got engaged incredibly quickly to people they met online, though thankfully they waited a decent stretch of time before tying the knot. Both couples are still happily together and have a baby each. So it can work well, never fear.

I met my partner through the traditional method of getting fed up with the whole business, deciding that I was perfectly happy staying single, and then wandering into a charity bookshop and chatting up the gorgeous young deputy manager behind the till. It's not always when you're not looking that it happens, but I think that sod's law is firmly in position whatever the situation.

07-12-2011, 06:52 AM
Did you have all those dates during the same time? :?:

07-12-2011, 09:47 AM

OK...well... I took the sandwich to the kitchen and opened it up. The thing is, I paid for it! LOL And I wound up eating half of a half. :T Then I doused it in half and half.

There's a skinless chicken breast on the grill now.

Thanks ladies. I knew I could count on ya.

Now who has a single guy friend?

Good job!

I just wanted to say that I met my boyfriend of over 1.5 years who I now live with online - and on craig's list no less! Now I am 22, and we met right at the end of undergraduate BUT I am also 275lbs, so I bet you look way hotter than me!!! So just keep trying with the whole dating thing, and don't let it kill your weight loss. BEEN THERE DONE THAT! I had lost 12lbs (the most I remember losing at one time since high-school) when I met my current boyfriend, and now I've gained back those 12lbs and 25 of their buddies. Don't let dating or even if you find the right guy like I did ruin your weight loss. YOU are more important than any guy. Dating websites never worked for me and, interestingly enough, neither did responding to m4w posts on craig's list but posting my own ad did the trick - I went out on six dates, and I was legitimately interested in two of the guys, and now I live with one of them! So don't give up but, more importantly, don't give up on your weight loss!

07-12-2011, 11:44 AM
Ahhh, online dating. Isn't it "fun"? Actually, I had a blast going out on dates until I found the guy I'm seeing now. I think one day I had three dates with three guys (coffee, lunch and drinks, respectively). :dizzy: There are always crazies so good for you for cutting out guy number one (I had a guy that showed his "crazy" before we even went out on a date so I canceled our date...didn't stop him from texting non-stop about how we were meant to be together). Chin up, there are good ones out there...they just take a bit of weeding to get through.