Weight Loss Support - Who do you tell you've lost weight?

07-10-2011, 12:23 PM
Hello there! :) So, I'm totally psyched this morning because I weighed in to find that I lost some more weight and am only 5 lbs. away from my goal! :carrot:

I started to type up some emails to various people with my wonderful news and do you know what I did? I deleted them all....every single one of them for various reasons.

To my hubby (who is still asleep) I didn't send it because I know he'd be happy for me, but he's really struggling to lose weight and I didn't want to seem like I was gloating....which he wouldn't think at all, but I just felt wrong about it.

To my friends....some of them have seen me lose and gain the same 50-70 lbs. too many times so I just felt like I was setting myself up to look like a fool. I felt that I could send that email out when I can maintain the weight for maybe a year or something? That has NEVER ever happened.

To other friends....I wasn't sure if they'd be all that thrilled for me since they're overweight. I know they'd be happy for me on some level, but at the same time, I'm pretty sure that they'd either feel bad about themselves or they'd feel jealous.

So....it came down to my 3fatchicks community. This is the only place I can really come to share my struggles and my accomplishments and for that...I thank you! :hug:

Who do you tell? Who do you not tell?

07-10-2011, 12:40 PM
I don't tell anybody, let them notice it and if they say anything, I will say ,"Yes, I have lost weight, and I did it on purpose."
People will have mixed reactions if you tell them, some don't care, some will doubt you, some will think you are bragging. This is the best place to tell as we all understand the importance of what we are doing. Congratulations !

07-10-2011, 12:53 PM
When I started this process I e-mailed 3 friends and they have all been supportive. I agree it is best to keep the weight loss to yourself and a core group of people.

07-10-2011, 01:15 PM
I blog about it to a closed group of people who are used to navel gazing. I don't mention it to other people unless they ask.

07-10-2011, 01:15 PM
First, congratulations on being so close to goal. I can understand how excited you are and how you want to sing it from the rooftops :)

I tell my mom about my weight loss and my boyfriend knows since we weigh in together. If you even remotely doubt they'll be supportive, then don't tell anyone. Luckily this place is a wonderful source of support.

07-10-2011, 01:19 PM
Yeah, I am really excited! :) I don't tell my mom because she always says that I'm too skinny and starts to panic that I'm going to be underweight even if I assure her that the medical community would not share her concern. ;)

Thanks for your replies!

07-10-2011, 01:45 PM
Congratulations, Luckymommy:

I didn't tell anyone about my journey. As it became noticeable that I had lost weight, people occasionally would ask, and then I would tell them that I was losing weight on purpose.

It's just something that I preferred to keep to myself. :wave:

07-10-2011, 01:49 PM
Yeah, this has been hard for me. Most of my family is overweight, and my friends fall into one of two groups: overweight and/or always "on a diet" OR have always been thin (and so they don't really get it).

I rejoice primarily with people here at 3FC, and one of my cousins, who also lost a substantial amount of weight as an adult.

In general, though, I just don't mention it. If I have something particular that I'm excited about, I post here. :)

07-10-2011, 02:11 PM
Congratulations on getting so close! That's amazing!

I brag to my husband, chat about it with my mother, and usually mention it to my younger brother. That's it for in-person. They're all supportive and give me a thumbs up at the very least when I'm doing well.

If I really want to celebrate full on, I just pop on 3FC and share the good word with all you guys! Because, frankly, you all understand, and are more than happy to celebrate with everyone!

07-10-2011, 03:03 PM
Congrats on being so close to goal! must feel great. I share in-person with my partner. He understands weight loss to the deepest level now lol I used to share with my mum until she told me to stop losing. Apart from that, this website is my support :D

07-10-2011, 03:12 PM
anyone who asks

i put a before and after picture on facebook for those i knew would be interested

07-10-2011, 03:44 PM
I have a support system of 3 My husband, my friend I've had for 24 yrs and my sister. (and not everything with my sister). Other than that I keep it to myself or just post here.
If people ask I say oh yeah I've been dieting and exercising, but I found the hard way that alot of people are just negative.

07-10-2011, 03:50 PM
I tell my mom and dad. Not my sister because she is significantly over weight and I dont want to make her feel bad. My mother is 120lbs and very skinny. So she doesnt mind because I havent caught up to her yet. My dad is thin as well.

07-10-2011, 04:06 PM
I don't think I would email anyone about it, but I do have an open blog and the people who want to follow, follow, and those who don't want to, don't. I link it to my FB account and all my friends know I'm on a getting my health back journey, but I don't post about my weight loss on my FB status, just links to the blog. And the blog is really my journal and more important to me than to anyone else.

Now, if people ask (and they do ask) about my weight loss I gladly share.

I almost want to wear on my body to the gym, "Yes, I know I'm the jiggliest person in class - but I used to be 78 pounds heavier!"

07-10-2011, 04:13 PM
I've only told a few people - my husband, my sister (who's also losing weight) and a couple of friends who I knew would be supportive. I haven't made it public because I'm doing this for me and not to please anyone else. From previous experience, some people can either be critical or become TOO interested (e.g. monitoring what I eat!) and I didn't want that kind of pressure.

07-10-2011, 05:08 PM
Firstly, congrats on being so close to your goal, that is so exciting!

As for who I tell, honestly no one. If/when I hit big mini-goals I talk about them on here, but I would be far too mortified to ever tell anyone in my real life "Oh and by the way, I lost xyz pounds!" Maybe it is because I'm not married and don't have that kind of close relationship with another person. My parents are out of the equation because they are so critical without numbers, and the bulk of my friends are thin so I feel uncomfortable talking about it with them. Or at least, bringing it up. The ones I've known for a very long time have dealt with me at all ends of the eating spectrum (from anorexia/bulimia to compulsive and binge eating), so I prefer to avoid talking about food to keep them from getting worried.

When people comment on my weight, I smile and say yes I have lost some. Never a particular number. My dad's obsessively skinny girlfriend is super supportive and occasionally asks for numbers, but I just say I don't know. For me, just knowing how much I've lost myself is enough!!

Arctic Mama
07-10-2011, 05:14 PM
I blog about it, mention it to my husband, and then just wait for it to come up naturally with other people. 3fc is where I do my happy dances :)

07-10-2011, 05:17 PM
I find it easier to not tell people. Talking about working out, eating right and losing weight easily leads to unsolicited opinions and people 'kindly' offering advice about what I should do.

07-10-2011, 05:21 PM
Most of my family is overweight and have no interest in changing it, so I don't really say anything to them about it, and I feel really self-conscious bringing it up to friends, so I don't say anything to them either. I tell my husband and my mom and that's about it, but I don't feel like I can really go on about it to them beyond a simple "hey, I lost five pounds". I started up a blog to post such things to too so I have somewhere to vent, but we'll see how that goes.

07-10-2011, 05:33 PM
Well, I have a huge family and they all know. We have a lot of parties and they need to know why I bring my own food or don't eat certain things. My husband knows for the same reasons as the rest of my family. I have one friend that knows because she is on myfitnesspal with me. My boss and 1 other co-worker also know since I have to be picky about where we can go out for lunch together. My husband and friend are the only ones I tell when I weigh in every week. Everyone else just knows that I am working on it.

07-10-2011, 06:22 PM
Partner, a few carefully selected friends, support workers (care in the home). Not family. The people I've told have generally been really supportive, though my former neighbour was rather odd and had to be told firmly to stop making aggressive jokes on the subject. One of my support workers is a yo-yo dieter herself and is being really encouraged at seeing me lose weight, and we're having fun talking about it. I'm trying to get her to buy the "Thin for life" book people talk about here so that I can borrow it from her!

07-10-2011, 06:43 PM
Congrats on almost being to your goal!! :)

Personally, I tell my husband, mom, and a few close friends that I know will be as happy as I am about it.

I've started taking pictures at certain points. So I did post a before/after pic when I hit the 20 lb mark on my fb. All I got was positive comments from my FB 'family'.

Precious Little
07-10-2011, 09:58 PM
Congrats on your progress!!

I generally only tell my doctor & any other health professional I'm seeing.

I share my little victories with my partner (and you fabulous people on here :smug:) but that's about it.

I don't go out of my way to let people know but if anyone asks then I tell them yes, I have been working on losing weight.

If they ask how? I would say sensible eating & exercise and leave it at that. If they want to know even more it depends on the person and why they're asking I might elaborate - if they are a fitness-oriented type then I may go into further detail.

07-10-2011, 10:17 PM
luckymommy, congratulations on being so close to your goal!! I can't wait to be in that position myself. :D

When I first started in January I didn't tell anyone except my husband, as I didn't want to have to fail in front of others. Somewhere along the way I gained more confidence that I could do this, and I told my mom, my sister, a friend, and a few co-workers who were also trying to lose weight. Now that the loss is obvious I have gotten a lot of questions, and I happily share that yes, I have lost weight, and I've done it by calorie counting and exercise. I can't think of a single person who hasn't been very supportive and pleased for me, and I am really grateful for that.

The only people I really discuss it regularly with, though, are my husband and my mother (and all you awesome folks here at 3FC). My poor husband hears about it nearly every day, and is very tolerant, lol. :)

07-10-2011, 10:39 PM
Congratulations! You'll be at goal in no time.

To answer the question, I tell nobody. It feels better when they tell you :carrot:

07-11-2011, 01:35 AM
Thanks so much everyone for the congrats. They really do mean a lot! :) The funny thing is that since I've yo-yo'd so much over the years, people are already afraid to congratulate in in real life. ;) But they do complement my appearance. I just really felt like telling the people in my life who mean the most but I couldn't so that made me feel a bit weird about it for a while. I finally told my hubby and he was so happy and proud of me. He always jokes with me that I'm the perfect woman because I'm always changing so he gets to enjoy me in many shapes and sizes! ;) hahahaha! that cracks me up actually. I think he misses my bigger boobies, but I know he wants me to be healthy, which is really nice.

So again, thanks so much everyone for being so encouraging and supportive. I hope I can finally make this my last attempt to lose and that I can be a life-long maintainer! :) Wooohoooo!!!!

Oh and if I can do it, anyone can...I'm a major food addict.

07-11-2011, 01:57 AM
I find it easier to not tell people. Talking about working out, eating right and losing weight easily leads to unsolicited opinions and people 'kindly' offering advice about what I should do.

This happened to me today, as of which I've decided to not bring it up to any one but my boyfriend. My uncle had a field day telling me what I should to lose weight.. not to mention he's severely obese (400+ pounds). And everything he was saying was wrong! I would rather not go through it again.

07-11-2011, 02:29 AM
I tell my parents and my designated "diet buddy" friends, who I know won't judge me one way or the other. I might mention it occasionally to my boyfriend if I'm having a really good day because I know he'll be happy for me.

Other than that, I try to contain myself. It's weird now when I'm a few pounds up from my lowest weight, I feel like I don't want anyone to see me.

07-11-2011, 03:23 AM
I'm only 5 lbs away too! Yay, congrats!

As for who I tell, I wasn't really telling anyone at all. My mom and boyfriend knew, that was it for the longest time. Then everyone at work noticed, then my sister found out. Then I put up new pictures on facebook...kind of hard to avoid now. Lots of people are taking double looks at me (even today!) and asking, "Are you losing weight or is it something else?" Love it though!

07-11-2011, 05:23 AM
This happened to me today, as of which I've decided to not bring it up to any one but my boyfriend. My uncle had a field day telling me what I should to lose weight.. not to mention he's severely obese (400+ pounds). And everything he was saying was wrong! I would rather not go through it again.

It's infuriating when people give 'advice' and what they say is total bull****.

Donna Donut
07-11-2011, 08:49 AM
Congrats luckymomma, so close to goal!

My bf knows, we live together so he sees the changes in my food. I also tell my sis and bro in law as they are losing as well by changing their eating habits. My mom knows as she has to alter a dress for our Vegas trip in September and can't do it until it's closer. Luckily, I have a great support group with my bf and family. We've all struggled with weight (minus the bf).

People at work have noticed that I'm not going out to lunch as often so they ask if I'm on a diet to which I reply "Not really, just trying to eat healthier."

I've only lost about 15 lbs so it's not really noticeable to others yet. Here's hoping I'll have some explainin' to do soon. LOL.

07-11-2011, 09:16 AM
My husband, my cousin and my mother know that I am trying to lose weight. I have a few very close friends who I have not told...all for differant reasons! I too choose to share my news with the people on 3fc's because I know everyone is fighting the same battle and the advice and comments you get are always supportive and give me motivation to keep going! Its sad but I dont think I could say that about a handful of my friends :(

07-11-2011, 12:02 PM
Congrats on being so close to goal!
I mention my weight loss on facebook, but in real life I only talk about it with my DF. I'm just not comfortable with a face to face discussion about it or something more personal that a status update.

07-11-2011, 01:33 PM
Basically just 3FC and DH hear about it on a consistent basis. My parents may ask and I'll tell them but I don't really like to discuss it with them too much because they have their own weight struggles. I've had some people notice but since we moved recently most people here know me as over 50lbs lighter than where I used to be so they haven't really noticed the small amount that they've seen me lose since moving.

07-11-2011, 02:02 PM
Reading this, I realize I don't tell anyone in my "real life" (i.e. non-3FCers). I mean, obviously people know I lost weight and my family knows I'm pretty particular about what I eat and that I NEED to get my workouts in, but that's pretty much it. I've recently started talking about weightloss in very general terms with my sister and very outspoken brother-in-lalw, but that's because they will bring it up/compliment me. My mom started forcing me into dieting when I was 14, and I learned from her that I should hide it. There was always shame associated with it. I don't feel shame about weightloss or my body anymore, but it still feels strange/uncomfortable to talk about in "real life."

I went to a new doctor recently and had to tell her how much weight I've lost and it was so strange to say the number out loud. I'm about 5 lbs away from losing 100 lbs- I think I might have to tell someone then!

07-11-2011, 02:13 PM
I let others notice the weight loss before I say anything. I had my son's b-day party just this past Saturday and invited a neighbor who I see at least once a week. She stared at me and asked 'have you lost weight?" To which I replied with a big smile - yes, I have lost 45 pounds. thanks for noticing. Otherwise, I keep my mouth shut. I simply tell my hubby when that I lost another pound and don't go into specifics. His eyes glaze over when I talk diet ;) This forum is where I get my 'diet' talk out, so thanks for listening!
BTW - if anyone asks what diet I'm on, I simply say, eat less/move more and brag about my running :)

07-11-2011, 02:19 PM
I typically don't say anything unless people notice. At that point, I will say that I have been purposely working on it. I have a couple friends and my sister (who has also lost a substantial amount of weight) who I tell when I drop into the next size. But typically, I just let people discover it on their own. I am sure when I lost 50lbs the last time there were people who noticed and didn't comment. I didn't think I needed to draw attention to it if they didn't acknowledge it.

07-11-2011, 04:00 PM
I tell people who ask, My husband and you guys! I often come here because well you just have to tell SOMEONE who might actually be happy for you! (not that my husband is not happy but he loves me regardless...)

I don't think people who have never struggled with weight understand and some family members can be a bit bitter that you are smaller and they are not. Plus, I find family members try to tell me what my diet should be and inform me its not possible to lose weight with what I eat - UHM hello 48 lbs down here...

I do not tell some friends who could possible lose some weight themselves because I do not want to make them feel bad - believe me I understand food addiction and overeating. It sucks to have someone throwing their new skinniness in your face when you know you are out of control and overweight. If they ask about my loss I tell them how and maybe it will motivate them but we all know until you are "ready" you will not be successful shedding those pounds.

07-11-2011, 04:10 PM
Well I've never really had much to tell! Because of that, I only tell my boyfriend and my mom. I imagine if I lost a lot of weight, I would probably tell everyone. Like the first time I see a -50lbs, I'm probably going to run straight to Facebook because that's how excited I would be (the most I've ever lost at one time is 12lbs).

But I think once I started getting close to my goal and was only 5 pounds shy, like you, maybe I wouldn't want to tell anyone about what I've lost the past week because I would want to wait until I had met or surpassed my goal. I've never had the opportunity to brag about my weight loss or have people ask me if I've lost weight, so maybe my opinions will change once I'm in that situation, but right now I feel like it is all I would want to talk about.

07-11-2011, 04:39 PM
Congrats luckymommy! Honestly, I tell everyone who will listen lol. I post a status on Facebook every time I lose a pound. I'm very proud of my accomplishments in that department. The people I tell know I'm not bragging; I'm just really excited! Which means all my friends and family find out that way. And I also tell my coworkers. There are a few other girls there that have lost quite a bit of weight right along with me. And others that like to hear about it so they either ask or I tell them before they ask.

07-11-2011, 10:19 PM
The only person I straight up tell is my 7-yr old daughter. It really started bc mommy needs her naked bathroom time to get on the scale and no you cannot come in bc I'm naked and two bc you can't see the numbers. She likes to do a happy dance when I am reclothed with me.

For everyone else, I wait until they notice.

07-12-2011, 10:29 AM
I tell my mother, fiance, and one friend....all have been very supportive! People at work come up to me and I discuss it with some of them, but that's about it.

07-12-2011, 10:53 AM
I don't tell, I show.

[Seriously, it's my rule for real life as far as weight loss goes. It just solves so many problems beforehand.]

07-17-2011, 03:39 AM
Congrats on being so close to your goal! That's so exciting!

Every other time I've attempted to lose weight (three times so far, with varying degrees of success each time) I've kept it all to myself. But I learned that by keeping it to myself I was also setting myself up for a letdown. Because what would happen? Someone would suggest going out to eat, and I'd say yes because I couldn't tell them eating healthy at a restaurant is close to impossible. Or I'd want to cheat and would realize that no one would know but me so it'd be okay. (Don't even get me started on how I was only cheating myself. I know, I know.)

So, this time around I told my mom (who is always supportive), my husband (who previously didn't even know my weight - big step here!), and my best friend (also supportive). I made the mistake of telling a coworker, who is the opposite of supportive, but I learned my lesson and stopped talking to her about it at all. I text these three people with my new weight and the amount I lost (or gained *gasp*) when I weigh in once a week. They're all supportive, so I feel like this is a good decision. It also means I have someone to bug me about going to the gym or congratulate me when I resist temptation. It really helps me to have that added accountability there.

07-17-2011, 06:02 AM
I also tell everyone! LOL I post on my weighin weekly on facebook...I want to be accountable to lots of people. I have dieted in secret in the past and no one told me WOOOOAAAAHHHH!!! when I slipped up. I like the fact people celebrate with me every kilogram lost. I post daily my menus on Facebook... I love sharing my success. I have people ask for my recipes, I have had several people join me as a weightloss buddy. I have lots of weight to lose and I don't want to gain weight ever again.

Thighs Be Gone
07-17-2011, 06:47 AM
Basically I am with Geogeshair above as far as why I don't share with too many people.

After I lost weight I moved towns. Many people here don't know I have lost weight. I have a couple of girlfriends I have shared with the past year. Basically they are pretty surprised when I do share.

07-17-2011, 01:37 PM
I share with everyone!!
I post scale pics on facebook every Monday (even when the numbers go UP!), and I also use Noom on my Droid which tracks my walks & workouts which I also post directly to facebook. (It also tracks other stuff, but I only post the walks & workouts)...
With my in-person friends, I talk about it a lot as well.

Sure, between facebook and in-person friends I get a LOT of dumb advice. But I have learned a long time ago to just shrug that stuff off and keep doing what I'm doing.

I'm not about keeping this journey a secret in any way... Keeping secrets is part of what got me here.
I wanna take the shame out of being big/trying to be smaller!

07-17-2011, 01:50 PM
Thanks everyone for sharing your ways with regards to my question....and also for all the kind words. I'm glad to know that I can always come here and post about anything that comes to mind. :)

AZ Sunrises
07-17-2011, 03:01 PM
So....it came down to my 3fatchicks community. This is the only place I can really come to share my struggles and my accomplishments and for that...I thank you! :hug:

This. The only exception to that was when I'd lost a total of 40 lbs, and it was impossible for people to not notice the change. It was more of a commentary about how great it was to finally find doctors who would listen to me.

07-17-2011, 08:25 PM
I'm a big fan of sharing my successes with online weight loss buddies.

My most significant reward is how I feel and look and being able to fit into something I haven't worn for awhile. A new outfit in a smaller size is a good gauge.

I'm doing this for myself. It can be liberating to forget trying to please others. It is nice when others acknowledge the results on their own.


07-17-2011, 08:46 PM
I sometimes post on twitter when I've reached a goal and I'm excited. Otherwise unless people ask/comment I don't say anything. However I lost 30lbs, it's pretty hard for people NOT to notice (especially since I'm short!) so I'm constantly fielding questions about how I took the weight off.

07-18-2011, 12:11 AM
I don't really talk about it with anyone, just focused on getting to my goal weight, and i kinda think it can be more pressure when people are expecting you to get results, yknow?

In saying that my lovely boyfriend is super supportive so i have him, but other than that, just all you lovely ladies on here!