Weight Loss Support - Fear




View Full Version : Fear


SCraver
07-07-2011, 08:48 AM
I think I have a lot of fears. I am afraid that losing all the weight means being perfect 100% of the time. I am afraid if I manage to lose the weight, it will involve many hungry hours. I am afraid if I lose it all, I will not be able to keep it off. I am afraid of losing food as a coping mechanism. I am afraid of never being "good enough" for myself. (I am too hard on myself)

I am going to work on letting these fears go. They are worthless to me.

Feel free to post yours. Let's get them out and get them gone.


painfullystoic
07-07-2011, 09:32 AM
I'm afraid that if I lose weight I won't have something to hide behind.

that if I lose weight I'll lose the relationship I have with my parents and brother- all we talk about is my weight.

I'm afraid that if I lose weight my parents will be more likely to actually start pestering me to get married. Or that I will want to be in a relationship.

I'm afraid that if I lose weight I'll end up spending a lot of money on clothes but will put it all back on and that would have been a waste.

ShanIAm
07-07-2011, 09:35 AM
I, too, am afraid of gaining back all the weight I have lost so far. But my biggest fear right now is being rejected by a romantic partner for false advertising. I look decent in clothes but because I had gained weight so rapidly in the past I did a lot of damage. I have saggy inner thighs....stretch marks....cellulite. I do not want to let my secret out that I had a weight problem because I'm afraid they will have the same fear I do of gaining the weight back because "I'm capable". And they'd be right. Will they cut and run? Maybe......

I don't know how to let go of these fears, however.


IsabellaOlivia
07-07-2011, 10:11 AM
I'm afraid that losing the weight and toning up won't make a difference in my level of happiness ( I'm diagnosed with depression)

Donna Donut
07-07-2011, 11:10 AM
I'm afraid that losing weight and more importantly becoming more active will put a strain on my current 8 year relationship because he won't want to go out and do things with me. Although he is not overweight, we are homebodies for the most part, but I know I will want to go out and enjoy things. I've wanted to go white water rafting, kayaking, and even venture out to Orlando to ride the roller coasters!

And I, too, have the fear of gaining weight back after losing it (as I've done in the past). While I have a different outlook on the journey this time, I fear something will happen and I'll fall into the same pattern of the past 25 years.

I just remind myself to take it one day at a time!

Chubbykins
07-07-2011, 11:53 AM
I, too, am afraid of gaining back all the weight I have lost so far. But my biggest fear right now is being rejected by a romantic partner for false advertising. I look decent in clothes but because I had gained weight so rapidly in the past I did a lot of damage. I have saggy inner thighs....stretch marks....cellulite. I do not want to let my secret out that I had a weight problem because I'm afraid they will have the same fear I do of gaining the weight back because "I'm capable". And they'd be right. Will they cut and run? Maybe......

I don't know how to let go of these fears, however.

A woman that has lost weight is sexy to most men! It is like a butterfly turned from a cocoon, like someone strong that has overcome their own demons, like a woman that knows what she wants and gets it!

Be confident. Brag about your willpower and success. All people fail sometimes in something, but how many of them work on it and correct their mistakes? You are awesome.

foodmasochist
07-07-2011, 11:56 AM
What a great post. i am afraid of looking older and/or looking saggy. i'm afraid i'll be hungry all the time or i will regain the weight (ie, fail). i'm afraid i won't feel like me anymore! Or like i'll feel like an imposter...me in an different body. i'm afraid of attention i'll get from people & men.

fm

Bellamack
07-07-2011, 11:59 AM
You have nothing to Fear but Fear itself!


this is so true, look at your fear, you are fearing that you will gain weight back, etc. it is so much less stressful to not live in fear. all things in moderation and you will live a long and happy life. I just know it :)

alaskanlaughter
07-07-2011, 12:28 PM
i'm definitely afraid of the possible attention from people and men...i am horribly shy by nature and i hate dealing with stuff like that

fattymcfatty
07-07-2011, 12:39 PM
I'm afraid of working hard, making it to a healthy BMI and goal weight, and still being disappointed in my body. Mainly my abdominal area. I've only 25lbs to go, and that area is seriously dismal. If you took a pic of it, it would look like it belongs on a body that needs a mechanized cart to shop at WalMart!

RJ 1980
07-07-2011, 12:49 PM
I'm afraid that if I lose the weight and stay on track most of the time, my life will be less enjoyable. (Which is silly, b/c I feel like crap in the mornings after I binge... but it's so comforting and fun while I'm doing it.)

I'm afraid of failing and never being thin again.

I'm afraid that I've done permanent damage to my body, and it will still look horrible after I lose the weight- saggy arms, tummy, stretch marks and droopy boobs....

I'm afraid of having to be obsessed with calories and food my whole life, thinking about it ALL the time- b/c that is the ONLY way I can stay on track. Seems like a stinky way to live, but maybe I'll get used to it. It's got to be a lot better than wanting to hide all the time and feeling disgusted with your own body.

Great thread.

Harriette
07-07-2011, 01:10 PM
I, too, am afraid of gaining back all the weight I have lost so far. But my biggest fear right now is being rejected by a romantic partner for false advertising. I look decent in clothes but because I had gained weight so rapidly in the past I did a lot of damage. I have saggy inner thighs....stretch marks....cellulite. I do not want to let my secret out that I had a weight problem because I'm afraid they will have the same fear I do of gaining the weight back because "I'm capable". And they'd be right. Will they cut and run? Maybe......

I don't know how to let go of these fears, however.

This actually made me a bit sad. I think anyone who cares about your imperfections is not a date worth having. You must find someone who thinks you are beautiful no matter what, otherwise what is going to happen when you are gray and have wrinkles?

Lori Bell
07-07-2011, 01:15 PM
Before I lost the weight I feared death...ALL OF THE TIME. I feared diabetes, heart disease, stroke... I didn't fear actual weight loss, I feared what would happen to me if I didn't lose it.

Now, I do fear gaining it all back. I know I must stay on top of any gains, and continue to be mindful of what I put into my mouth everyday. It sucks sometimes... But mostly it is wonderful!

ps: I don't fear that I could die at any given minute anymore. yay!

alaskanlaughter
07-07-2011, 01:17 PM
Before I lost the weight I feared death...ALL OF THE TIME. I feared diabetes, heart disease, stroke... I didn't fear actual weight loss, I feared what would happen to me if I didn't lose it.

Now, I do fear gaining it all back. I know I must stay on top of any gains, and continue to be mindful of what I put into my mouth everyday. It sucks sometimes... But mostly it is wonderful!

ps: I don't fear that I could die at any given minute anymore. yay!

that has to be the greatest NSV EVER!! :carrot::carrot:

Lovely
07-07-2011, 01:18 PM
I fear the day when I feel complacent... and I fear the choice I will make on that day.

The first time I made the wrong choice and gained back weight. It cannot happen again.

berryblondeboys
07-07-2011, 01:18 PM
Actually, facing my biggest fear is behind me. I was terrified to go to the doctor to be told I was fat and was ruining my health. I was afraid I was diabetic and that I was ruining my kidneys. I didn't think I could change anything about my life - I was so tired, sleep deprived, had restless legs and just overall felt miserable. How could I fix what was broken?

It was only because of terrible headaches for three solid months - all day every day headaches. I even kind of knew I probably had blood pressure issues. I just didn't want to face what I knew I had to face. I avoided it and avoided it, but finally caved and went to the doctor.

And yes, my blood pressure was sky high (way higher than I could have guessed - 230/130). And then with blood tests I discovered, that yes, I had out of control blood sugars, AND high cholesterol AND a very, very slow thyroid.

My doctor didn't want to treat anything too aggressively because he thought much of it was caused by the out of whack thyroid. he started me on thyroid meds, BP meds and told me to start exercising and to eat low carb.

I went back a month later and my bp was under control, blood sugars were worse (3 month test, so 2 months were still from before I was doing anything to help with them),and thyroid was still out of whack. he had me come back three months later.

Well, with losing the headaches which went away within three days, and with getting more energized with my thyroid getting better, I all of a sudden could face what I needed to face. The impossible task now didn't seem so impossible.

And I've turned my life around. I'm no longer on BP meds, I've lost nearly 60 pounds, I exercise hard 6 times a week and my blood sugars are now back to normal with eating lower carb and my cholesterol is within normal range too. I have faced my biggest fear and you know what? The fear of facing the reality was way more difficult than facing the reality.

Other fears I used to have? regaining? Well, I just can't. I know what will happen if I do - my BP will shoot up. My cholesterol will go up. My blood sugars will go out of whack. Basically, I'll fall apart and will need to be on all sorts of meds to survive. I just can't go that route.

I don't need to hide behind the fat any more (and I did)... It's time for me to shine while I still have some youth left!

mlgibson
07-07-2011, 01:55 PM
I am afraid that I'll give up before I reach my goal.

I am also afraid, like many, that I won't be able to keep it off.

I was 204 lbs once, got down to 145ish. Then went back up to the high 170s, got back down to the high 150s. Then I gained and got back up to 186...now I'm at 170. I'm afraid this will just be another one of my cycles...and each time I just get higher.

SCraver
07-07-2011, 01:55 PM
The fear of facing the reality was way more difficult than facing the reality.


Ooo... I am going to write that one down.

swansong56
07-07-2011, 02:12 PM
I fear never losing this weight and ending up like my mother in law; living on medications and insulin shots.

christine123
07-07-2011, 02:29 PM
I fear everything will change and nothing will change. I fear I'll be just as afraid of intimacy with a mate and continue to push men away. I fear I'll be more noticed by men and hit on more often. I fear I will put it back on. I fear my confidence will not improve. I am afraid of being pretty. I fear I'm going to become obssessed with diet and exercise and never stop wanting to lose. I have a lot of fears. Thankfully, I am in therapy :-)

christine123
07-07-2011, 02:31 PM
I am afraid that I'll give up before I reach my goal.

I am also afraid, like many, that I won't be able to keep it off.

I was 204 lbs once, got down to 145ish. Then went back up to the high 170s, got back down to the high 150s. Then I gained and got back up to 186...now I'm at 170. I'm afraid this will just be another one of my cycles...and each time I just get higher.

YES. I forgot to add that I am afraid this will just be another cycle for me too and that next time I'll just get higher.

lin43
07-07-2011, 06:41 PM
I'm afraid that if I lose the weight and stay on track most of the time, my life will be less enjoyable. (Which is silly, b/c I feel like crap in the mornings after I binge... but it's so comforting and fun while I'm doing it.)

I'm afraid of failing and never being thin again.

I'm afraid that I've done permanent damage to my body, and it will still look horrible after I lose the weight- saggy arms, tummy, stretch marks and droopy boobs....

I'm afraid of having to be obsessed with calories and food my whole life, thinking about it ALL the time- b/c that is the ONLY way I can stay on track. Seems like a stinky way to live, but maybe I'll get used to it. It's got to be a lot better than wanting to hide all the time and feeling disgusted with your own body.

Great thread.

Ditto!! I could have written your post.

ShanIAm
07-07-2011, 08:06 PM
I'm afraid that if I lose the weight and stay on track most of the time, my life will be less enjoyable. (Which is silly, b/c I feel like crap in the mornings after I binge... but it's so comforting and fun while I'm doing it.)

I'm afraid of having to be obsessed with calories and food my whole life, thinking about it ALL the time- b/c that is the ONLY way I can stay on track. Seems like a stinky way to live, but maybe I'll get used to it.

This struck a cord with me. I couldn't have articulated it any better!

Regera Dowdy
07-08-2011, 01:03 AM
Add me to the list of people who fear a few moments of success before regaining it all back. That would be painful. I'm also afraid of being a saggy, lumpy mess, but it's not as scary as the thought of regaining it all.

I'm afraid that nothing I do will affect my confidence. I have skin problems that are the symptoms of PCOS, which can be helped by weight loss. I'm afraid that losing the weight won't help those symptoms. I have this hope that getting control of my symptoms and feeling healthy for the first time of my life will help with my depression and lack of confidence, but I hear people say that it has to come from within. What if neither the inside nor outside changes? I'm also afraid of getting attention because I'm shy. That seems to be at odds with the idea that I'll always be ugly, but I'm afraid of them both. It's so irrational! Ugh.

I think I can deal with everything else, but the fear of gaining the weight back is the one that worries me most because I know it's possible. So many people on the forum have that story as their story. I have very little willpower. What if that story becomes mine, too?

Thanks for sharing, everyone. It does help to know that other people worry about similar things. I'm not going to let these fears stop me, since the cosmetic things aren't life-threatening. If I do regain, at least I'll already know how to lose it!

slytherinanachronism
07-08-2011, 03:16 AM
I have an addictive personality, so I'm really afraid that I'll become even more obsessed with calories and exercise than I am now, and head into serious eating disorder territory. I don't know what to do.

Porthardygurl
07-08-2011, 03:22 AM
Im afraid of being beautiful
Im afraid of losing weight and actually being happy cause i dont remember what thats likee
im afraid of losing weight and still not being seen as beautiful
Im afraid of losing weight and losing these rough tough look everyone sees me as..which makes it easy for guys not to approach me in any sexual way
im afraid that if i lose weight..i wont have an excuse to hid behind at my lack of success
im afraid of losing food..cause its been my comfort
im afraid of losing food because its been my shoulder to cry on
Im afraid of success
im afraid of me..cause i dont know what the real me looks like anymore.

SCraver
07-08-2011, 09:07 AM
I think we should all print this thread out and burn it as a symbol of letting our fears go.

ShanIAm
07-11-2011, 04:44 PM
OK, I am going to let you all in on my other secret fear. A fear I have not told anybody because it sounds ridiculous and morbid.

Another poster on this thread expressed her fear of dying from weight related medical issues. Well, I never had that fear of dying when I was at my heaviest. But now that I have lost weight and feeling happier and healthier, I fear that my happiness will be short lived and it'll be a car accident that'll do me in. I just have these thoughts of people at my funeral talking about what a shame it is that I was finally in a happy place in life only for something non-medical to take it all away.

I was driving from VA to NJ a few weeks ago and this crossed my mind. I had a small panic attack. It only lasted 10-15 minutes and it never happened again but that "Murphy's Law" scenario stays with me.

Creepy, I know!

lin43
07-11-2011, 05:20 PM
OK, I am going to let you all in on my other secret fear. A fear I have not told anybody because it sounds ridiculous and morbid.

Another poster on this thread expressed her fear of dying from weight related medical issues. Well, I never had that fear of dying when I was at my heaviest. But now that I have lost weight and feeling happier and healthier, I fear that my happiness will be short lived and it'll be a car accident that'll do me in. I just have these thoughts of people at my funeral talking about what a shame it is that I was finally in a happy place in life only for something non-medical to take it all away.

I was driving from VA to NJ a few weeks ago and this crossed my mind. I had a small panic attack. It only lasted 10-15 minutes and it never happened again but that "Murphy's Law" scenario stays with me.

Creepy, I know!

Shan, you are not alone! I tend to have a pessimistic outlook as well. My husband calls me "Mrs. Murphy." I really try to fight against that thinking by "answering" it with positive self-talk. However, I don't always succeed. Sometimes I think that people are born either pessimists or optimists (there goes my pessimism again! :) ).

TheManekiNeko
07-11-2011, 06:32 PM
I'm afraid of taking the weight loss to far.

I develop obsessive behaviours quite easily. I'm worried that once I reach my goal it will not be enough for me. There is a history of EDs in my family and during times of stress I have been known to stop eating to cope.

@slytherinanachronism

The last time I stopped eating, it took someone to actually tell me I was being stupid to help. She wasn't the only person who noticed, but she was the only person who had the guts to call me on it. I think it was because she'd suffered from borderline ED behaviour before.
She helped me by talking to me about it and sitting down with me and forcing me to eat. Also checking I'd eaten a decent amount each day.
Friends are the people most likely to notice any unhealthy behaviours and if you need help don't be afraid to ask.

dragonwoman64
07-11-2011, 07:31 PM
Im afraid of being beautiful
im afraid of losing weight and still not being seen as beautiful
im afraid that if i lose weight..i wont have an excuse to hid behind at my lack of success
im afraid of losing food..cause its been my comfort
im afraid of losing food because its been my shoulder to cry on
Im afraid of success

I hope you don't mind me copying a few from your list, they hit home for me.

I'm afraid without the weight I won't have an excuse to take active steps to bring about the things I really want in my life. I let the fat be an excuse to accept less than I think I would otherwise -- I let it make me feel less deserving.

I already have the stretch marks and flappy arms. I've already been through serious food obsession and basically an eating disorder (compulsive overeating). I've had to deal with depression (and going through therapy and medication for a while). I was really afraid at one point about my mobility, being able to walk comfortably. That fear actually spurred me on to lose weight and get into the treadmill and walking all the time. So fears can be positive motivators too.

Shan, I've made the (morbid) joke to my bf (more than once) that I'll put all this time and effort into getting thin, and then the day I reach my goal, I'll get hit by a bus.

to me, it feels like writing down these fears is part of the first steps in letting them go. thanks for starting the thread.

LadyWraith
07-11-2011, 09:22 PM
I'm afraid of doing everything humanly possible to lose the weight, it not coming off, and having no idea what to do. I'm kinda already facing that with the endless plateau I've fallen into.

shishkeberry
07-11-2011, 11:35 PM
I'm afraid that being thin won't be as awesome as I imagine it to be.
.
I'm also afraid that I won't have my weight as an excuse for my lack of success anymore.
.
I'm afraid that losing weight still won't give me any confidence.