Weight Loss Support - Being comfortable naked




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pink sparkle
07-06-2011, 08:46 AM
Does anyone have tips for how to be comfortable naked? Looking back, I've never really been able to walk around nude in front of boyfriends. When the lights are off, I'm cool, but in daylight or lights on, it would be a miracle for someone to see me totally nude. I always hear/read about people walking around naked in front of their partner, and all I can do is wonder how (and wish I could do the same). I'm not really sure what the problem is. With the exception of a couple of things, I actually feel my body is pretty hot. If only I could show it off more. :( Any tips?


Esofia
07-06-2011, 09:31 AM
Start with dim lighting or minimal clothing and work on it from there? Throw caution to the wind and do a silly little dance (a basic wiggle will do, if like me you can't dance for toffee) for your partner? Do you actually have a partner right now, by the way, or is this more a general pattern thing?

ahyessophie
07-06-2011, 09:33 AM
I try and have a sense of humour about it. Don't be afraid about an unflattering angle or motion. Doing something silly (like a goofy dance move or something...I don't know how to describe it on here) always makes me feel a bit tense if I catch myself focusing too much on a "flaw." It's also important to just DO it even if you're uncomfortable. If there's something you'd normally do with the lights off, try it with the lights on even if only for a bit. After a few times I think you'll feel more at ease. Remind yourself of how close to goal you are - you've put in hard work! Be free, you earned it.


Chubbykins
07-06-2011, 11:08 AM
It is all in self esteem.
I've got a high self esteem so I strut my stuff in front of my fiance all the time.
We live together and I don't have kids yet so I actually am naked all day now in the summer. I just wear panties for hygiene reasons.
It really comes natural after a while. He's just in his boxers too, so why shouldn't I do it?
Imo naked bodies are always sexier than dressed ones.

mlgibson
07-06-2011, 11:19 AM
I don't know, I am not comfortable naked. I was always very uncomfortable with my ex-boyfriends. Lights out for me! I have zero self esteem in that regard.

BetterLikeMel
07-06-2011, 12:15 PM
I have zero self esteem when it comes to being naked. I'm completely disproportionate with small boobs/bum and all my weight is clinging to my stomach & I'm completely aware that this doesn't look nice.

My boyfriend, however, plays rugby and gets naked in front of 30 guys on a weekly basis and is very much comfortable in his own skin. It's quite inspiring to see him wandering about.

I'm not quite there yet, but he has given me a bit more body confidence.

I say, go for underwear you feel comfortable in.

Donna Donut
07-06-2011, 12:50 PM
It takes time, go slowly from skimpy outfits to bra & panties and then one piece at a time to nudity.

And it's been my experience that when nekkid in front of a man - the Beevis & Butthead mentality takes over - "Boobies!" so he won't see any flaws just nekkidness. :) We are way more critical than any man.

Paloma
07-06-2011, 12:55 PM
For me it takes time. The first few times I get naked with someone I am very self conscious. But after awhile it's like they've already seen it and haven't run away screaming, so what's the big deal. It still takes me several months to be comfortable though.

Or, you could attend a drunken, naked swim party. Last summer I had access to a private pool for a few weeks and a group of friends did this. It helps to see that nobody's perfect. Plus, I realized that I wasn't scrutinizing anyone else, so most likely neither were they. It was fun, casual, and helped me feel better about myself (this was at my highest weight).

Beach Patrol
07-06-2011, 01:17 PM
Does anyone have tips for how to be comfortable naked?

Take the NIKE approach: "just do it!" :D

Maybe it will help if you look at it in the "naked is natural" light. Clothing is not a natural thing. Nakedness is natural. In fact, it's the most natural thing a human being can do - go naked. The human body is a beautiful thing. More art has been contributed to the naked human body than any other single thing on earth. Maybe start out by looking at some "naked body" art form - and no, I'm not talking about porn! - altho, IMHO, porn is also an art form (tho not one everybody seems to appreciate). Pictures, sculptures, etc. Naked women and men, and OMG -how precious is a naked baby?!?!?! Cute little baby butts! The epitome of sweetness and innocence. We're ALL born naked! Can't get any more natural than that! ;)

You might like to visit photonaturals-dot-com ...and NO, it's NOT porn. ~enjoy being YOU!

ShanIAm
07-06-2011, 01:26 PM
I have been working my way up to doing this myself. I am back in the dating scene so it's time to prepare for the hopefully inevitable. :D

Start with being comfortable naked alone. When you get ready for work in the morning do your hair and makeup naked. Or start slow and just do it in your bra and underwear. Once you are comfortable with yourself, you'll be more comfortable with someone else. The more you get in tune with your own body it will make you feel more comfortable as you know what other people see!

Lately, and I laugh as I type this, I have been setting up my webcam and recording myself walking in and out of my bedroom naked. Or I'll stand in front of it and pose. This gets me from ALL angles -- flattering and not so flattering. I'll record it as a video and replay it later. And then I immediately DELETE!

alaskanlaughter
07-06-2011, 01:30 PM
Take the NIKE approach: "just do it!" :D

Maybe it will help if you look at it in the "naked is natural" light. Clothing is not a natural thing. Nakedness is natural. In fact, it's the most natural thing a human being can do - go naked. The human body is a beautiful thing. More art has been contributed to the naked human body than any other single thing on earth. Maybe start out by looking at some "naked body" art form - and no, I'm not talking about porn! - altho, IMHO, porn is also an art form (tho not one everybody seems to appreciate). Pictures, sculptures, etc. Naked women and men, and OMG -how precious is a naked baby?!?!?! Cute little baby butts! The epitome of sweetness and innocence. We're ALL born naked! Can't get any more natural than that! ;)

You might like to visit photonaturals-dot-com ...and NO, it's NOT porn. ~enjoy being YOU!

that is a cool website! i agree, too, that naked is natural and i've never had any problems being naked in front of my DH (or partners before him)....on the other hand, i read on the website about an upcoming nudist camping trip into the wilderness and all i could think about was "Holy Bug Bites!!" LOL!

berryblondeboys
07-06-2011, 01:38 PM
I am a very modest person and I didn't think I would ever be comfortable naked in front of anyone, but first of all, if you are with someone who is comfortable with their own body, it helps you get comfortable too. Plus, people!!! if you are having sex, they KNOW what you look like and what you feel like!!!!

Soft light in the bedroom helps, but man, when we were young and without kids - a morning romp in the bedroom was fun and you see it all.

But as my mother said, and I find it true too, once you have a baby, all modesty goes out the window. My husband saw it all plus some during delivery. Heck, he had to help me to the toilet (I lost a lot of blood and was weak) after delivery. After that, no more feeling awkward in front of him ever again and it's quite freeing actually.

Esofia
07-06-2011, 01:44 PM
It may also be worth mentioning that when I do silly little dances/wiggles for my other half, usually for reasons such as just having got out of the shower, getting undressed at night, feeling affectionate, feeling sexy, feeling silly, or wanting to stretch, I will get one of the following reactions:

1) "Get over here, you hot hot thing."
2) "You are absolutely daft, my darling, and I love you."

and very occasionally,

3) "Yes, sweetheart, you're a champion wiggler, but I'm trying to get to work here."

But he definitely approves of me being naked. And I approve of him being naked too, whatever his body looks like, and sometimes rather inconveniently when he's trying to get dressed to go out for the evening and I'm standing in the way ogling him. I've actually found that being the one doing the looking has been very liberating, and not just because I've read feminist theory such as "Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema" (essential article if you're interested in how society constructs men as the ones doing the looking and women as the ones being looked at).

How about spending time naked curled up in bed to watch TV? Most of the time you're under the covers, and you can get used to making trips to the loo or to fetch strawberries (we have strawberries while watching TV in the way that other couples have popcorn) or what have you, with the kitchen curtains drawn if need be.

pink sparkle
07-06-2011, 02:22 PM
Thanks so much for all the advice. I'm actually quite comfortable naked by myself. I think I look pretty good...womanly. I have a young son so I don't get to be naked too often, but when school was in, I'd walk around naked for hours after showering after my workout. My blinds would even be open (fenced in backyard lol). It's just being naked in light/daylight with another person that makes me uncomfortable. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I have been trying though. I've slept totally naked with my boyfriend for the past 4 or 5 days and made trips to the bathroom during the night. Just need to work my way up. Or maybe I do need to do what some of you have suggested: just do it and get it over.

yossarianlives
07-06-2011, 05:27 PM
It may also be worth mentioning that when I do silly little dances/wiggles for my other half, usually for reasons such as just having got out of the shower, getting undressed at night, feeling affectionate, feeling sexy, feeling silly, or wanting to stretch, I will get one of the following reactions:

1) "Get over here, you hot hot thing."
2) "You are absolutely daft, my darling, and I love you."

and very occasionally,

3) "Yes, sweetheart, you're a champion wiggler, but I'm trying to get to work here."

But he definitely approves of me being naked. And I approve of him being naked too, whatever his body looks like, and sometimes rather inconveniently when he's trying to get dressed to go out for the evening and I'm standing in the way ogling him. I've actually found that being the one doing the looking has been very liberating, and not just because I've read feminist theory such as "Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema" (essential article if you're interested in how society constructs men as the ones doing the looking and women as the ones being looked at).

How about spending time naked curled up in bed to watch TV? Most of the time you're under the covers, and you can get used to making trips to the loo or to fetch strawberries (we have strawberries while watching TV in the way that other couples have popcorn) or what have you, with the kitchen curtains drawn if need be.

Aha, I read that at university :) and I couldn't agree more--it's so liberating to act out-with social constructed norms.


I remember weaning myself in with wearing a big t-shirt, but nothing else... I know it's essentially shamelessly graphic, but I found the suggestion of nudity easier than actually walking naked. And this was when I was a lot heavier, too.

xty
07-06-2011, 11:08 PM
Guys are VERY imaginative. In fact, he probably undressed you in his mind pretty much the first time you met. :)

And if you slept naked with him, no matter how dark you thought it was...he saw you.

He thinks you are hot or he wouldnt want to be your bf and sleep naked with you. So dont worry about it too much. You sound comfy with you, Im sure he = be that together!

astrophe
07-06-2011, 11:26 PM
It has been so long since it was new... I vaguely remember feeling a little bit like "Ack!" but them just going with it.

Then we fell into the habit of showering together every night before bed as our "pillow talk" time. So he's seen all there is to see!

So now I don't really think about it. Heck, he's seen me birth our kid. What else is there to see that he hasn't?!

LOL.

A.

shcirerf
07-06-2011, 11:33 PM
The naked thing!

It's been brought up before. I actually asked my husband and my grown sons and several men friends. They all agree, if there is a naked woman in the room they are ecstatic! They don't care how you look, they just like naked women!

Personally, I'm good with naked with the exception that the hub thinks if I'm naked we should immediately fall into bed, AND, he thinks cooking naked is sexy, I think it burns! Sorry, but I'm not cooking bacon for you naked!:dizzy:

mypinkpolkadot
07-06-2011, 11:53 PM
With my ex, I never got naked even during sex. I'd wear a nighty, or a tshirt, and I actually weighed 20 pounds LESS than i do now..

But with my current boyfriend, he convinced me to take a shower with him right after the first time we made love. At the time, I weighed 20 pounds MORE than I do now.. So, now we take showers, walk around, sleep, make love, everything, naked.

Sometimes it's the person, and how comfortable you are with them. I guess my current boyfriend is also a really good talker, cause many many men have tried haha :P

Porthardygurl
07-07-2011, 04:09 AM
I remember the ack feeling.. It was the feeling i got whenever i hopped into bed with a new boyfriend...BUUUUUUT.. .now im with my fiancee and our first time was hidden in blankets..but then we showered after and slept naked together..and since then..well..he's seen me give birth to our daughter..need i say more?? Ive lost all fear of being naked after having several male doctors constantly peering up me when i was pregnant...

Or you can chalk it up to what my mom says (she is a nurse)... She says "you seen one you seen them all"... In other words "yes..we might be all differently sized..but anatomy is anatomy..we all got it"

Beach Patrol
07-07-2011, 11:16 AM
3) "Yes, sweetheart, you're a champion wiggler, but I'm trying to get to work here."


:lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl:

Some of you ladies make me snort & guffaw! :D

Chubbykins
07-07-2011, 11:48 AM
By the way it is important when you first get naked before a guy in a lighted room to be confident, even if you totaly don't feel that way.
Lift your chin while you loosen your bra as if releasing the puppies causes you satisfaction, swing your hips when you turn around or walk away, shake your hair when you pull of your shirt... many very tiny details you can use to look confident and sexy.
Confidense is sexier than the sexiest body. Even the most gorgeous girl seems less attractive if she's looking like a wet poodle when she takes off her clothes or repeats annoying things like: "Don't stare, please" "I know I'm ugly" "This is so weird".
Just say "enjoy" and wink.

luciddepths
07-07-2011, 02:40 PM
Hahaha Donna you made me laugh! That's how my man is "boobies"!!!

To OP take little steps gradually get more revealing!

IsobelRose22
07-07-2011, 03:13 PM
shoulders back, stand up straight, and have confidence, because a mans favourite shape is 'naked' they're just happy your willing to take your clothes off for them lol! also exfoliate, moisturise, wax/shave, a bit of perfume and do your hair and make up and you're good to go x

AZ Sunrises
07-08-2011, 05:48 AM
In my late teens, I was uncomfortable changing into swimsuits with girlfriends. I faked it. I was uncomfortable being nude with boyfriends. I faked it.

:) At 35, I'm probably more comfortable nude than I am fully clothed. 115* summer temps probably help with that, but you know...it's just my bare backside and naughty bits. If he's going to be critical, he can find someone else...and if you're in the room naked, even the most critical man in the world is bright enough not keep his mouth shut.

Esofia
07-08-2011, 06:06 AM
Beach Patrol - that was the toned-down version suitable for public consumption, too. My beloved and I seem to bring out a previously undiscovered vein of incredible silliness in each another.

It may help to talk about my experiences of being the one with the naked woman to look at, since I'm bi. My ex-girlfriend is a couple of inches taller than me, and at the time we went out we were both pretty much the same weight (I think she was 5lb or 10lb thinner, just to make me nervous about it all; she was a bit nervous too, she has scars from self-harming) and exactly the same bra size. So there was the possibility of the competitive thing edging in at some level, just automatically comparing ourselves to each other. But that really didn't happen. It was an uncritical, "Woo hoo, sexy naked lover, this is great, time to show my appreciation!" on both sides. And you know how women often notice every little detail more than men, the way you're generally much better off asking a woman whether your eyeliner is wonky and so forth. Still not a problem, nor did we ever get bothered about being naked around each other the rest of the time.

KerriLeah
07-09-2011, 08:44 PM
I was so completely uncomfortable with my body growing up-- like puberty and beyond. After I had my first daughter 15+ years ago, going through labor, tons of vaginal exams, etc, I just don't feel that sense of insecurity I once had. Once total strangers have seen it all-- and seen it all stretched out, twisted open, ick! I figured if dozens of strangers over the course of pregnancy and labor saw what they saw, then why should I feel self-conscious around a boyfriend?

So I never really have been self-conscious since then. I'm a nurse as well, and I have seen hundreds upon hundreds of human forms, so truly we all look different. We are all beautiful. I have stretch marks. I have freckles. Most of the year I have a farmer's tan. But there are parts of me I love. And I feel sexy regardless of my size. It is all a mental thing. If you tell yourself you are sexy and believe it, you project that to others, too. And thin or fat, we all have parts that look awkward in certain positions, so who cares? Ever see a naked man bend over in front of you? THAT's an awkward position lol.

OhThePlaces
07-09-2011, 10:03 PM
Reading everyone's comments is really empowering. It makes me sad that after 5 years of marriage, 8 years together and two babies, I am STILL nowhere near comfortable walking around naked in front of my husband! He loves being naked and struts his stuff whenever possible. He's SO thin (almost on the verge of being underweight) and I feel so... blah with my dimpled butt, stretch marks and sagging boobs. I'm fairly comfortable in a bra and panties, but I have NEVER walked around completely naked. We've also never showered together. He's extremely supportive and loving and gives me no reason to feel this way... I just do.

He's coming home in a few days from a 6 month deployment, and I'm really going to work on increasing my confidence in this area. Thanks ladies. ;)

pink sparkle
07-09-2011, 11:14 PM
OhThePlaces, I'm so glad you wrote that! Well, not glad you feel like that, but it's exactly the same for me. We've been together for years, he saw me give birth to our child, he actually shaved my area while I was pregnant...Still, I feel uncomfortable about being totally naked. But I've been using some of the tips suggested here and really working on it. And I think within a week or so, I'll be ready to bare all! Woo hoo!

mumtoliam
07-09-2011, 11:45 PM
Thanks for posting this topic! I have been separated from my ex husband for 5 years and ate for the first 4 and half years. This year I have focussed on myself and lost 13kg. I have also just started dating and I am sooooo nervous about getting naked with my new partner. My boobs are sagging, I have stretch marks from being pregnant and gaining weight. I am not the woman I was when I last dated. It was okay being with my ex husband because he had gone through the pregnancy and child birth with me. It is all about self esteem, and I am gaining that through my weightloss and renewed confidence in myself... Thanks for the tips...I will definitely be using these tips when getting naked with the new man. LOL

mzKiki
07-10-2011, 06:56 PM
Men adore nakedness! I'm sure if you just do it once you'll get such a great reaction that you'll do it all the time.

mzKiki
07-10-2011, 06:58 PM
that is a cool website! i agree, too, that naked is natural and i've never had any problems being naked in front of my DH (or partners before him)....on the other hand, i read on the website about an upcoming nudist camping trip into the wilderness and all i could think about was "Holy Bug Bites!!" LOL!

LOL!!! Hilarious

ShanIAm
07-10-2011, 07:50 PM
I had a getting nekkid scenario last night....

I have been dating this guy and he invited me over to go "skinny" dipping. The pool is very dark so I was pretty much OK with it. But I did plan on wearing a bathing suit into the water and then removing (maybe). I figured it was difficult to see stretch marks under water but I was worried that my loose flab would flap around weightless underwater. And this guy is far from being a greek god but he just ripped off his robe and walked around the pool like it was no big deal. I was like, WTH?!? How can he be THAT confident? I was envious. But I learned something. I learned that even though he is not in top physical shape (boy has got a gut) I still found him incredibly sexy. That confidence was a turn on.....and he is a wonderful guy to boot. I could have cared less his belly button was wider than someone whose stomach is flat. (Yes, I peeked)

I couldn't do the total nude thing above the water but I'm going to work on it...one pool lap at a time!

(fyi -- despite the nudeness, I totally behaved myself!)

berryblondeboys
07-10-2011, 09:44 PM
I had a getting nekkid scenario last night....

I have been dating this guy and he invited me over to go "skinny" dipping. The pool is very dark so I was pretty much OK with it. But I did plan on wearing a bathing suit into the water and then removing (maybe). I figured it was difficult to see stretch marks under water but I was worried that my loose flab would flap around weightless underwater. And this guy is far from being a greek god but he just ripped off his robe and walked around the pool like it was no big deal. I was like, WTH?!? How can he be THAT confident? I was envious. But I learned something. I learned that even though he is not in top physical shape (boy has got a gut) I still found him incredibly sexy. That confidence was a turn on.....and he is a wonderful guy to boot. I could have cared less his belly button was wider than someone whose stomach is flat. (Yes, I peeked)

I couldn't do the total nude thing above the water but I'm going to work on it...one pool lap at a time!

(fyi -- despite the nudeness, I totally behaved myself!)

I remember the first 'serious' weekend with my to be husband (though I didn't know he would be my husband then, of course). We went to sleep in the nude (petting/kissing, no sex) and in the morning, in the bright of the morning, he just got up out of bed and walked to the refrigerator (studio apt) to get some orange juice for both of us. I remember marveling then at how 'natural' being in the nude felt to him and I was so envious of that feeling of freedom he had and I didn't. Heck, I had lived 5 years in a dorm with shared showers, but girls don't just 'flash' across the bathroom - they have robes and big towels to immediately cover up. NO ONE saw me naked.

I must say, over the years i've gotten more comfortable being naked even as heavy as I got, but part of it, as I said, was having babies, but also when you are with the same person for eons, you do realize that they SURELY know every inch of your body - the good and bad.

BetterLikeMel
07-11-2011, 04:57 AM
Men adore nakedness!

Haha, so true, they absolutely do.

I spent almost all of yesterday hanging around at my boyfriend's house in my knickers and a vest... this is a big step but he actually loved it. He even text me after I went home to make this point.

ShanIAm - that story is awesome, good for you.

KatieC87
07-15-2011, 02:51 PM
Okay, first, you have to figure out what part of your body your like the most and what part you dislike the most. It is all about being comfortable with your body, but sometimes - for me, at least - it's just about enjoying nudity! Ha!

Okay, back to the point... Let's say you don't like your midsection and are uncomfortable showing it off, but you think your legs are nice looking. Start by strutting around the house in a t-shirt and panties! Or if you like your upper body but hate your thunder thighs, maybe wear men's boxers around the house with nothing else.

Eventually, you'll gain confidence through changes in your body (especially if you're exercising), and you'll be able to take off the t-shirt or boxers! For me personally, there are definitely parts of my body that I hate to see the light of day, but my husband treats me like a sexy beast, which makes me feel comfortable. I've gotten so "bad" that I now come home from work, take off all my clothes, and spend the entire evening nude.

Oh! Another tip - if you don't already, try sleeping nude. I did that long before I walked around the house naked, and it is so much more comfortable.

Good luck!

mumtoliam
07-16-2011, 11:12 PM
Update from previous post - New man came over to stay at my house this weekend - initially was feeling self conscious about my size, weight, rolls, stretch marks etc, but I knew he wanted me and I bared all! Slept naked and showered three times with him LOL Yeah another barrier broken down!!

KittyKat1465
07-16-2011, 11:18 PM
Hmmm can't say I have that problem. My boyfriend is always telling me to put clothes on cause I'm always naked lol. As soon as I walk in the door my clothes come off. I am ok with it bwcause I know he loves me no matter how much i weigh.

KatieC87
07-17-2011, 12:04 AM
Ha, I'm right there with ya, KittyKat! Once, my husband had a friend over, and they were in the living room of our apartment playing a video game. I had just taken a shower (I think, at this point, I would just stay nekkid after showering and hadn't yet reached my nude-as-soon-as-I-get-home stage.) and made it to the bedroom without being spotted. But then I needed to return the towels to the bathroom to hang dry. Of course, I text messaged him to come get them so I wouldn't have to put on clothes to do it. He came to the room and said, "Boy, you must REALLY hate wearing clothes." :-p Sure do!

Esofia
07-17-2011, 05:15 AM
Hah, nice one.

To all the people who happily prance around naked as soon as they're home from work: don't you worry about people seeing in through the windows?

ShanIAm
07-17-2011, 06:53 AM
Hmmm can't say I have that problem. My boyfriend is always telling me to put clothes on cause I'm always naked lol. As soon as I walk in the door my clothes come off. I am ok with it bwcause I know he loves me no matter how much i weigh.

You are my new hero! ;) God, I wish I had just an ounce of that comfortability. I am totally comfortable walking around shirtless (but with a bra) because I have a very strong back, flat tummy and no muffin top but anything else exposed... NO WAY. Heck, I still won't wear leggings around anyone because that just shows way too much of my silouette.