You know...I was exactly the same and still am at certain times of the month! All my life food has been an obssession, I would think about it all the time, revolve my days around eating, my social life...everything! I had the little food devils on either side of my shoulders...one saying..."go on, go and get that ice cream from the freezer" and the other one saying " NO you dont need it...you are NOT hungry"!!
It has always been a mental battle, I eat for every emotion I have, nothing puts me off food..not even illness.
And then I look at my mother......
My mum is 54 and up until 2 years ago had been 16.5 stone ( 5ft 1"), she had been that weight for 20 years or so, she has developed problems with her spine due to the excessive weight she has carried around all those years and now needs surgery to put a metal rod into her back to straighten her spine and seperate compressed discs! She only decided at aged 52 that she needed to do something about her weight, she has lost over 7 stones and is now about 8stone 5lbs but if you were to ask her if she was happier now...she would tell you no! The reason...??
She has been left with the body of a 90 year old ( her words not mine)..she has loads of excess skin on her legs, stomach arms and breasts...in fact her breasts are probably the worst affected
She knows that if she had tackled HER obssession with food a lot sooner then she wouldn't be in the position she is now ( considering major surgery to have it all removed).
She has made me look at food In a whole differant light, we need it to survive and be nourished, nothing more!, it is a fuel that our body requires to keep functioning. I now look at food and think..."yeah that looks nice" but I dont need it, am I really hungry?? If I am do, I really have to eat that..is there something else I could have instead. It's not just a total lifestyle change, its mentally challenging as well.
I just know I dont want to leave it any longer to deal with my issues with food and end up where my mother is 20 years from now...the burgers and pizza's are just not worth it!!
Keep going, keep challenging yourself and I'm sure you will be successful in your journey