Weight Loss Support - So sick of this

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06-10-2011, 04:40 PM
I'm sorry, I'm just so tired of this.

I started out on March 2nd doing all of the right things, or so I thought...I have been counting calories (1500-1600 per day) and exercising by walking, several times (usually 5 at least) times a week (~ an hour each walk). I have been eating lean meat and reduced calorie bread, drinking only water (with few exceptions of skim milk and juice, but I try to avoid these things as they have calories).

I'm 5'9 and 26. I went from 234-218 in the first month....and that's it. No measurement change at all. No further weight loss. Today I have not eaten anything at all and I am 219 (weighed before drinking anything). HOW?!?! I have been very frustrated at my stupid body.

I can't get away from this either...I went clothes shopping yesterday and saw myself in the mirror in the dressing room. My stomach overhangs my hips, my arms look like they belong to the Pillsbury Doughboy, my boobs sag, and my thighs look like squeezed marshmallow. That's right...squeezed marshmallow. (Thank goodness I don't puff up like a peep in the microwave though..it's very hot lately, mid-upper 90's.) I'm disgusted by myself. I'm so sick of looking like this. I'm so sick of doing the "right things" and not having any results.

I see nothing wrong with overweight people...but I am disgusted by myself. I have many other flaws, such as my eyebrows being at different heights, my eyes being at different heights, my nose being crooked, the whole facial hair thing that requires me to be very on top of it (which is probably a hormonal problem resulting from the weight), stubby toes, stretch marks even though I've never had children, snoring at night, feeling tired all the time no matter what, getting out of breath very easily....etc etc. The list is endless. I thought it was possible to change this one thing by doing what everyone says..."eat less, exercise more". When I think about all of this, it seems overwhelming and hopeless. I feel doomed. I feel like I'm being punished...and it makes me look like I'm being lazy and cheating or something.

I watched that Extreme Makeover Weightloss first episode, thinking "okay, maybe they'll have a method" but they went into no detail as to what the girl ate or what she did for exercise besides running.

I haven't eaten today and I'm getting desperate to lose weight. I've been drinking water (on my third bottle now...it's tap water but I use the bottle to measure how much). I would normally never believe these kinds of tabloid things, but I read that Beyonce lost 20 lbs in two weeks from only drinking water mixes. If I don't eat for a few days I -have- to lose weight...right? To prevent gaining it back, I'll just not eat every few days... But I'm hungry now so...how does that work? And it tends to sound like an eating disorder, or at least the start of one...and I'll probably just end up eating anyway! I feel like if I eat now, the whole day is to waste.

I'm out of ideas.

06-10-2011, 04:48 PM
I am no expert by far but i do know that weight loss is not easy. The first month is the easiest because most of it is water weight. After all that is gone then the fat loss takes a little more time. We all have our good months and bad months as well. You have to understand that your body is going to be resistant to change and will try to hold on to that fat. You HAVE to keep pushing and take control of your body.

I watch a lot of weight loss shows and use to feel jealous over their weightloss but then you have to realize that those people are on a very strict diet and exercise 6-8 hours a day. Who has that much time on their hands?!?!?!?!

Also, i would suggest some strength training. Now in the beginning it will not show on the weight because u are gaining muscle but it sure does help you to lose a lot of inches! Also, it is very important that u eat regularly. I hate when magazines tell how people go on liquid diets and all that garbage. Sure you will lose weight but as soon as u eat a sandwich you'll blow up like a balloon!

06-10-2011, 05:00 PM
1) You know what happens when people on crash diets start eating normally again? They gain back the weight and then some. Beyonce has about a bajillion dollars and could train someone to punch her in the face every time she thought about eating if that's what she wanted to do. Don't compare yourself to people on crash diets or celebrities. Period.

2) While eating less and moving more is the BASIC idea to weight loss, there are a lot of different methods, and everyone has to find what works for them. That means trial & error, experimenting, and being willing to give each experiment the time it deserves to see if it works with your body.

3) So experiment! Lower your calories, or up your calories, or have a high day and several lower days. Mix up your exercise. Intensify. Or try a different activity. Mix up your food. Don't forget the importance of fruits and vegetables. Pick something to change and try it for two weeks to see the results. If it works, great! If it doesn't work, cross it off the list and move forward. At some point something will click with your body and you'll see the results you want.

4) Food is not the enemy. Have you seen people who've starved weight off of themselves? Poor, dry skin... limp hair... unhealthy nails... bad breath...sunken eyes. We are organic machines, and if we don't get ENOUGH fuel we don't function and we end up rusty. Not to mention "not eating" doesn't work as a crash diet, because the SECOND you start eating again your body just packs back on the weight. You can't just wait a couple days without eating, you'd have to go the rest of your life without eating... and without food... that wouldn't be very long now would it?

There IS a way. You're in a plateau. This is normal. And the only way to find a way through is to try something different while keeping HEALTH as your top priority. :yes:

06-10-2011, 05:00 PM
:hug: I could really sense the self-loathing you have as I read through your post. It made me so sad.

You lost a bunch of weight the first month. Please keep in mind that a lot of that weight loss wasn't real. It was water loss. Now, as you keep at it, the body is adjusting. You will lose more, but it will seem painfully slow.

Also, as you keep exercising, your body may actually hold onto water and make it look like you're losing nothing or even gaining! This is where many people give up and go back to old habits.

Please don't give up! Keep up with your exercise and calorie counting and it will come off! As you approach your goal weight, you may need to decrease calories or increase exercise.

Also, keep in mind that we are our own worst critics. I have SO many things about my body that I'd love to change, but at the end of the day, I realize that I can't and so I just accept it for what it is. Hang in there! :hug:

06-10-2011, 05:00 PM
No food = no weight loss my dear. You have to have heard this before. You body need fuel to do everything! So when you don't give your body the proper nutrition your body goes into starvation mode and holds onto all of it's fat not knowing when it will next get some nutrients.
It seems like you are going at your weight loss in a manner that is not very healthy. I understand your frustration. But you don't need to walk for 5 hours a day. People who exercise that much require more calories. It may seem counterintuitive. But you need to eat and you need to do less exercise. Please do some research about diet/exercise. If you plan to maintain your weight loss it's important that you understand.
Also it's important to have a social support system. You seem very sad and that's not healthy either. Please go have a good filling meal and talk to a friend or even post here for some encouragement.

06-10-2011, 05:04 PM
As opposed to doing a liquids-only diet or water diet, try adjusting your calories down by 100-200.

I agree with MzJuicyD: our bodies are not machines. What worked for one month won't necessarily work the next month. You have to constantly rejigger things to find the right mix for your body.

Have you talked to your doctor? From some of what you said, I wonder if you might have PCOS, which makes it more difficult to lose weight. There's a PCOS thread on the forum you might want to check out and get advice from other people.

06-10-2011, 05:13 PM
Your 219 was probably a fluctuation. Do you weigh yourself every day??

As for starving yourself, that is not the way to go. As others have posted, you need food for fuel. The weight is not going to melt off fast, you need to hang in there and keep going!!! I also agree that you don't need to spend 5 hours exercising, just 1 hour few times a week and you'll see something as long- you may be eating too little and exercising too much.

I would definitely encourage strength/weight/resistance training to help with your problem areas. Don't be SO hard on yourself, while I don't like some parts of myself, I don't loathe myself. Good luck.

06-10-2011, 05:31 PM
snoring at night, feeling tired all the time no matter what, getting out of breath very easily....etc etc. The list is endless.

These are probably part of being overweight. When you lose weight, you will have less problems with snoring, feeling tired and getting out of breath. See? Good news. You won't only look but also feel better.
Regarding working out... Don't do the same exercises (walking in this case) over and over again. Mix it up with some stretching or weights, keep your body on its toes.
Food... What do you eat? Maybe talk to a nutritionist or look into other programs. I am on Weight Watchers. They don't only look at calories. There are other rules to make sure you get the right nutrients and consume a balanced diet. This will help with feeling better too.
Sleep... Make sure you sleep 7-8 hours a night. Believe me, huge difference to e.g. 5 hours. Your body needs to rest and you will lose easier when you sleep more.
Oh and one other thing... I saw your goal on your profile. 139 lbs? You are 5'9 and that will result in a BMI of just over 20. Very low, bordering on underweight. Do set your goal that low. Aim for 25 for now. Actually, consider mini goals. Try to get out of obesity first. Then for a normal weight. I have something like 10 mini goals set up. Something like that makes it more managable and you will have lots of little victories which keeps you going.
Update: I just saw that your goal is 135lbs! That's too low for sure! BMI of 19 is underweight. Don't go there!!!

06-10-2011, 05:38 PM
Questions for you:
1. Counting calories: Are you using a food scale? (Let's make sure the calories are being counted correctly. I bought the biggest loser brand scale for 20.00 at Bed Bath & Beyond

2. What is your percentage of carbs/fats/protein? I'm thinking maybe your carbs are too high maybe? Have you cut out all of the simple carbs, and only eating the complex carbs?

3. Do you realize your goal weight of 135 is pretty small for someone 5'9"?

4. Have you been cheating? (Be honest with yourself here)

OK, now for my preachin'

1. You are great at maintaining. Look at it that way. I felt a lot better at 219 vs. 234. Now you have to tweak to start losing again.



4. Go buy the book Skinny B*tch and read it. Apply it. This book helped me a lot at the beginning of my journey

5. Give yourself some credit. We are our worst enemies at times, and sometimes you just have to snap out of it.


06-10-2011, 05:59 PM
The last time my weight stalled and refused to move i went crazy with exercise for weeks, i was ragged and it wouldn't move, finally i thought i might be overdoing it so i cut way back on exercise and ate a few more cals, within a couple of days the weight started to drop off again.

There is no one way to lose day in day out, you have to constantly adjust your regimen, stressing your body by not eating or overexertion does at least in my case halt forward progress in it's tracks, you have to lose at the speed your body allows and no faster.

06-10-2011, 06:04 PM
Look into Dr. Eric Berg's "The 7 Principles of Fat Burning" - it was a very insightful book, and it seems like you have a lot of the same symptoms of the Adrenal Body Type (similar to me). It tells you how to get to the cause of weight gain, versus just treating it like a symptom. Look up his website! It has tips, etc, and the "Body Type Quiz" you can take. If you read the book (cheap on Amazon), then it'll inform you about what particular foods you should eat and what sort of exercises you should do for your body type. I hope it helps! Good luck!

06-10-2011, 06:11 PM
:hug: Don't give up.

Lori Bell
06-10-2011, 06:13 PM
For one week, eat at your normal rate of 1500-1600 calories. Reduce your walking from 5 or more hours a day to 5 hours that week. Weigh yourself at the end of the week. If you haven't lost at least 3 pounds I'll pose in a bikini and put it on the board...(YIKES!) Deal?

06-10-2011, 06:35 PM
I have to post because your frustration may be coming from having a hormonal issue called PCOS.

The symptoms that you've listed in your post may mean that you have PCOS and if you do, it's entirely treatable (some of us have been dealing with it for a long time!!!!) and you can lose weight...... it's just going to take a little tweaking of your diet and/or medication.

Have you ever been a doctor to get diagnosed?

Slow weight loss, the hair, and stuff are all signs that you might have it. You can check out the PCOS board here or read up on it if you want.

06-10-2011, 06:42 PM
I apologize for my over-emotional rant earlier. Thank you for the supportive replies.

I made a typo in my original post and instead of 5 times a day, it should have been 5 times a week (at least...most of the time it is every day) for walking.

As for the goal, it was 150 lbs (I have never been thin, but I was much happier at that weight and did not have a lot of the health problems I described, although it was years ago that I weighed so much less) but even then, I was around 20 lbs overweight. I had flab on my upper thighs and stomach even back then, though it was nowhere near what it is now...which is terrible. 135 seems about right for me, my height and frame considered. Also, this would potentially eliminate a lot of health problems, and hopefully decrease my troublesome areas (such as a ungodly huge bust and thighs capable of setting pants on frictional fire). There are also personal reasons why it must be this low. It has all been well-thought out.

I do agree that it's good that I haven't gained any weight from the diet / lifestyle change (I don't plan on going back to eating whatever and not caring so I am not really sure "diet" is a good term for this). I don't know what it means that I have lost only a few pounds but not regained them...yet not lost any more. I really drink SO MUCH water, it feels unfair to call it water weight, but I trust that you guys know more about it than I do.

I did do a lot of research before starting this. I thought it would be somewhat scientific to have a well-formulated plan going into all of this, and read about how calorie counting seemed to work universally (the professor who ate nothing but twinkies, but counted calories and lost weight, the portion-size-me study, etc.). It's just so defeating, as I know I have been trying...

06-10-2011, 06:47 PM
I have to post because your frustration may be coming from having a hormonal issue called PCOS.

The symptoms that you've listed in your post may mean that you have PCOS and if you do, it's entirely treatable (some of us have been dealing with it for a long time!!!!) and you can lose weight...... it's just going to take a little tweaking of your diet and/or medication.

Have you ever been a doctor to get diagnosed?

Slow weight loss, the hair, and stuff are all signs that you might have it. You can check out the PCOS board here or read up on it if you want.

I have not been diagnosed or seen a doctor about PCOS, but I do know that I have menstrual trouble (as in, no cycles at all unless I take medication for it). I currently take provera for 10 days every 3-4 months to induce a cycle.

If PCOS is what I have, it might explain some things. Thanks for this.

06-10-2011, 06:53 PM
So what do you think the problem is?
--Quality of food?
--Carb/Fat/Protein ratio off?
--Too much exercise?
--Different exercises needed?
--Up your calories by 100 or 200?
--Lower them by 100 or 200?
--Go to a Doc and get this possible PCOS investigated?

What is your plan of action? I'm glad your feeling less emotional. I turn into an ungodly Bi--otch when I don't have food!

***As for the personal reasons your weight must be this low, I hope it doesn't have to do with some guy.***

Also, you might need some circuit training, toning exercises, and the like. My arms and legs look awesome thanks to Jillian Michaels. Her videos have literally reshaped my body. Certain parts look better now than when I was in high school

06-10-2011, 07:31 PM
1. Try eating 5 days a day to keep your blood sugar stable.
2. Lower your calorie intake to 1450
3. Walking isn't working out. I know a lot of people disagree with my view that walking isn't a sufficient work out. A work out needs to embody high intensity cardio and strength training. Walking doesn't cut it. Jillian Michaels 'ripped in 30' is what you need.

06-10-2011, 07:48 PM
Hello I am going to solve all your problems in a single post! Unless you have PCOS which I cannot solve. All kidding aside I have some suggestions.

1) Your weight has been stalled for only 40 days. Yes - I said it. ONLY 40 days. In the scheme of your lift this isn't a big deal. Most likely you have lost some weight but you're retaining water. Who knows how much weight. So don't hang your head. Stay focused and keep your head in the game. :)

2) Walking is a great exercise if done properly. Properly walking means brisk walking. This means you're pushing it. Getting your heart rate elevated is critical. You mention you get out of breath - if you've been doing 5 days a week of brisk walking this would be impossible thus I must assume you're not walking briskly. No big deal. Just fix it. :D

3) You could be deficient in enzymes that helps oxidize fat and process carbs efficiently to ATP stores. Many fat people are. Brisk walking will eventually correct this but you can correct it in a couple weeks by weight training or HIIT type of exercises. (WARNING - THE FIRST EFFECT THIS WILL HAVE IS STALLING THE SCALE BUT YOUR FAT LOSS WILL BE ACCELLERATING)

4) TRACK EVERYTHING. WEIGH EVERYTHING. Measuing or eyeballing it don't cut it.

5) Don't use the scale as your measure of progress. Measure yourself in a couple areas. Take photos.

6) Try to relax. Stress is bad for everything including fat loss. Chill out when possible. :D

P.S. - I have stretch marks too and while I have kids they didn't come out of me. :D

06-10-2011, 09:06 PM
Look after yourself and take care ... :hug:

When I felt a bit down about my weight I would always think well I have to be 90 kg before I can be 80 kg ... and I have to be 76kg before I am 70 etc etc ... and when I have a plateau well I try and think well at least it is not where I was ...

I also think that maybe you could mix up your exercise a bit ...

06-10-2011, 09:53 PM
I had a weigh in today, 3 weeks since my last. I was up 5 lbs!! But you know what, I lost inches in areas and the areas I didn't, stayed exactly the same. I am good with that. My upper arm relaxed was 12inches and my flex was 12.75. Not only was it a 1/2 inch gain, it shows how much my body is changing.

I am with everyone else, maybe tweak a couple of things, and DO NOT starve yourself.

I noticed that when I don't eat enough, I don't lose ANYTHING!

06-10-2011, 10:10 PM
I agree with the suggestion to see your doctor and rule out things like PCOS or other potential metabolic problems. Then if you've got the *all clear* it makes sense to dig in and try some adjusting with your food choices and exercise regimen, but all that effort could be wasted if you've got a medical issue that needs to be addressed before your body can let go of the weight.

06-11-2011, 12:56 AM
Since I see from the rest of the replies to your original post that you have been lectured plenty as it is, I will throw in a quick thumbs up to the ideas of switching up your exercise and calorie routines (your body does get used to things after a while and will start thinking of those activities as the new normal).

In my opinion, absolutely the hardest thing about weight loss is the mental side of it, especially if you are suffering from PCOS, which takes losing weight from difficult to hair-pulling-exasperating. Some of the others brought up PCOS and I agree that it sounds like you may want to talk to your doctor about that possibility. The thing you mentioned about facial hair and menstrual issues is a classic sign of that.

Trust me, the vast majority of us get sick of the constant struggle for little or no progress. In time, after a series of small successes eventually add up to something worth mentioning, you will come to realize that the fight is worth it. I used to sob uncontrollably at dressing room mirrors. Somehow even the plus-size circus tent clothing that I had resigned myself to managed to be tight on me, and I mentally snapped every time I had to buy new clothes.

Now, I still get down on myself about my own marshmallow flab issues, but I can recognize that, slowly, it is getting better. I might still look like a packed sausage when I try to squeeze into normal sized clothes, but I know that I'm inching forward now instead of backward, and that makes everything worth it. Try not to let your disappointment in yourself hold you back from working hard and going after what you really want, because you will never get there if you let that part of you win.

Another thing that might just be my overactive protective instincts for fellow fat girls like myself, is that I am concerned that you are drinking "SO MUCH" water. Unless you are forcing yourself to drink that much in hopes that it will help with the weight loss, that's a possible sign of diabetes, which tends to sneak up on you when you have undiagnosed PCOS.

06-11-2011, 01:39 AM
Please, try not to beat yourself up anymore over this. I know how frustrating it can be. We all do. We've all been there, and still many of us struggle to loose. We work through our weight flux's. I see a lot of myself in your rant. I look in the mirror and still see the 340lb woman staring back at me. Some day's I bring myself to tears just because I don't see what other people see.

We are our own worst critics. A lot of us are programmed to nit pick every little imperfection. Whether it be from the media, or our peers. But, we have to stop. I like this board because, you can also learn to love yourself more and appreciate the hard work it takes to change your life. Reading about other peoples struggles too makes it easier.

Take a day to write down everything. Maybe a day you don't have to work. Write down when you work out, take your measurements too (or have someone else assist). Weigh yourself that morning, and then have someone, if you live with others hide your scale until next week. Write down everything you eat, including the calories, fat and sugar / carbs. Look over it and see what you can tweak. Then also consider adding in some form of weight training so that you can build some muscle mass. There's an article No fat chicks or something like that posted in the fitness section, if you have a moment go take a look at it. I found it to be a pretty interesting read.


Edit - Wow, I make no sense when I am distracted by the raging thunderstorm coming, and my niece trying to get into everything, lol.... and I'm about to fall asleep too... =x

06-11-2011, 01:44 AM
P.S. - I have stretch marks too and while I have kids they didn't come out of me. :D

Gosh, I'd hope not ;) This just made me giggle.

06-11-2011, 06:09 AM

Everyone has given awesome advice, please try out some of the recommendations of WEIGHING your food and journaling it precisely. It's so, so easy to intake 500+ more calories than you think per day and have no weight loss. Vary your exercise. Walking is great, cross-training with different activities and strength training is better. Yoga, swmming, playing tag football, anything!

Even though I am at a healthy BMI and I have flab under my arms and lots of weight in my thighs. It is not going away. It's how I am built and I'm not going to dwell on it. My slender 5'11 155 lb boyfriend has stretch marks. We all have imperfections and the more you can encourage yourself to LOVE that you have a healthy, functioning body that can run, jump, swim, dart, leap, and do INCREDIBLE things, the less time you have about getting annoyed at its aesthetic quirks... and the happier you'll be.


06-11-2011, 06:36 AM
I think you should go through the testing to determine if you have pcos. Even if you do nothing with it now, you'll want to know for when you start trying to have kids one day. Pcos hinders weight loss (theres a great subforum here for support) and for some reason women with pco tend to have addictions to carbs, chemically. Lower carb diets work really well for those people. Personally I have zero interest in eliminating all carbs even though I know it would work miracles on my body so I instead opt to try to get lots of protein and try to get most of my carbs to come from resistant sources.

If you don't have pcos I think that you could do two things: kick it up, a huge "notch." You've built a decent walking base, can you incorporate jogging? You need to be doing resistance exercises a couple times per week minimum. And if and when you do this, make sure your NET calories are 1500-1600. Account formand eat your exercise cals.

My bet is on pcos, call your doc and just get a physical anyway. Why not know what you're working with and avoid any surprises right?

06-11-2011, 10:51 AM
I'm not going to give any technical diet advice, mine is more mental/emotional. These things are KEY and they WORK. Might sound sappy, but please give it a try.

#1 - LOVE YOURSELF. You are totally worth it. You are wonderful, beautiful and loveable whether you weigh 100 lbs or 1,000 lbs. Seriously. You are a fantastic person. You are you. That makes you the most special person in the universe.

#2 - reread #1. If it makes you feel at all uncomfortable, there's some work to do. You have to love yourself and believe in yourself in order to be happy. And weight loss is a LOT easier when you are positive about it.

#3 - keep a positive attitude at all times. If you don't naturally have one, then create it. Thinking negative thoughts about weight loss and health derail weight loss and health. Thinking positive thoughts helps just as much as any diet/exercise plan you can ever be on.

#4 - read that last line again. Your mental attitude is EVERY BIT AS IMPORTANT as the plan you are on. It's what's there to bolster you when you hit a plateau, or are faced with a choice about staying on plan or going off plan. We all go off plan sometimes - that's the nature of life. No one is 100% perfect all the time. If they were, they wouldn't be human. It's what you do and say to yourself when things aren't going the way you'd like to see them go that's the most important.

#5 - program yourself for success. Choose a plan. Incorporate it into your life. And, all the while, BE POSITIVE ABOUT IT. Tell yourself 500 times a day that you are wonderful, you deserve to be fit and healthy, you are beautiful now, and be grateful and happy that you are going to succeed. Because you are. You are wonderful and beautiful now. You will be wonderful, beautiful, fit and healthy in a few short months.

I wouldn't have written this long post if it weren't true. I started out at 370 lbs (too fat to shop at Lane Bryant) and I lost 99 lbs in 6 months, then well over 120 lbs in a year and a half. I did it because I had a plan and I stuck to it (mostly), but the real driving factor was, I did it because I loved myself and I deserved to look and feel as good on the outside as I felt on the inside. At first I was just pretending. But then it clicked, it was real, I felt it, and I looked amazing! Well, then I forgot to do it, gained some back, and now I'm here again. But I PROMISE YOU THIS WORKS FOR EVERYONE - positive mental attitude. :)

06-11-2011, 02:46 PM
what a nice post, DC; I'm glad you're back on the forums, you're such a positive force.

JohnP, thanks for your posts, I don't make comments often, but have used your tips and find them helpful.

OP, you might want to try getting help to start off with, whether it's a nutritionist or Weight Watchers, or somesuch, so you can get an overall good idea of nutrition and portion size. It's a lot to know, and important. And I think it can be very helpful to start off on a good foot with both those things. And to go for even a couple of sessions at a gym to get an idea of what a good exercise routine for you might be would be worth the investment. Doing both those things could help you keep your head from spinning (the ups and downs you'll experience as well as staying focused) as you move through this process.

Hang in there, and good luck.