Weight Loss Support - Family so draining




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mzKiki
06-08-2011, 07:16 PM
Since the beginning of the week we knew it would be 100 degrees a few days this week. Definitely too hot to cook. My husband, children and I live with my mom in her home. I do most of the cooking. It's just easier and since it's 1 of her and 5 of us it's just fair. Plus I can make sure I'm eating the right things.
The thing is my mother (who is about 30 pounds overweight with a bad knee) is very resistant to eating healthy. She is adverse to ground turkey, chicken breast, brown rice. MOST THINGS HEALTHY.
Often when I cook she says she didn't like it. My mom is from the south and makes a HUGE meal on Sundays, usually fried chicken or something smothered in sauce, candied yams, 3 layer chocolate cake. (you get the picture).
During the week she brings home cakes from the bakery, chocolate bars for the kids and has a freezer chest stocked with ice cream. It's just exasperating.
So we had planned to have turkey sandwiches and salad for dinner today because of the heat. She texted me around noon saying she wasn't i the mood and would just bring home a pizza. UH, NO! Then later texted and asked did I want a burrito. We did end up having the sandwiches, but I just don't understand why she seems to be against me so much. She's great in every other way except this! DRIVING ME CRAZY.


zoodoo613
06-08-2011, 07:25 PM
:hugs:

I couldn't live with my mom.

bargoo
06-08-2011, 07:29 PM
She's the Mom, that's why.


kimicat76
06-08-2011, 07:40 PM
i went thru the same thing when i went to visit my sister for her birthday in april. i told them i was on a diet but i would still eat some cake and ice cream. ( a small bowl) but they were yelling at me cause i wouldnt eat fried chicken and potato salad (which i cant stand potato salad anyway) most of my family is overweight and doesnt care about health so its extremely hard for me to get away with good healthy food around them >.<

mzKiki
06-08-2011, 08:03 PM
Isnt it crazy? I'd think your loved ones would want to see you healthier.

DixC Chix
06-08-2011, 08:07 PM
Maybe its time to pull out the "my doctor told me I have to lose weight/get BP under control/limit simple carbs due to prediabetic condition, etc" card. If she knows your ultimate health is at risk (untimely death) with unhealthy food and meals, she may be more open to it. Untimely death seems drastic but sometimes you've got to get dramatic to make your point.

kimicat76
06-08-2011, 08:10 PM
Maybe its time to pull out the "my doctor told me I have to lose weight/get BP under control/limit simple carbs due to prediabetic condition, etc" card. If she knows your ultimate health is at risk (untimely death) with unhealthy food and meals, she may be more open to it. Untimely death seems drastic but sometimes you've got to get dramatic to make your point.

lol i tried that one too cause my gyno told me to lose weight. they told me oh **** you can cheat cause its your sisters birthday..... ugh no im already cheating with the dang ice cream and cake lol

kimicat76
06-08-2011, 08:13 PM
Isnt it crazy? I'd think your loved ones would want to see you healthier.

it is crazy! the only skinny person in my family (my uncle) is the one whos usually complaining about me not eating then tries to give me a talking to about losing weight!!! hes a very strange man......

darius
06-08-2011, 09:18 PM
I couldn't live with my mom. :D

shishkeberry
06-08-2011, 10:40 PM
I couldn't live with my mom, either. I live two hours away and she still feels like she can boss me around sometimes. That's when I ignore her calls, lol.

theCandEs
06-09-2011, 12:15 PM
Your mom sounds like my MIL.

Ugh! I know what you mean. My MIL sat me down a couple of weeks ago and said to me, "You don't need to lose any more weight, honey!" and tried to push fattening foods on me, to boot. I'm so glad I don't live with her. She would drive me nuts.

I wonder if my MIL is just threatened by me? Your mom might feel the same way. She doesn't want to change what she eats. She thinks you are depriving yourself if you eat healthy. I don't know. My own mom is just the opposite, so it's really frustrating for me.

Lovely
06-09-2011, 12:20 PM
:hug:

There's one (okay sometimes more than one) in every family, huh?

Angelique
06-09-2011, 12:50 PM
I think that sometimes people do that because they feel guilty that they aren't eating better. They try and get you to eat the old way to get rid of their guilt because they're not ready to eat healthier.

mzKiki
06-09-2011, 12:59 PM
Thanks guys. I always felt maybe she was threatened in some way. So i'll just keep playing snack dodge ball.

ShanIAm
06-09-2011, 01:37 PM
I am saying this in the nicest way possible but it sounds to me like your mother is pretty self absorbed. Meaning, she doesn't REALLY know (in denial?) how eating bad can really affect you. And if she doesn't know it then she doesn't know why you are doing it. And believe me, I used to be self absorbed too. My ex husband was a Marine and had to keep in tip top shape. Do you think I cared what kind of fried foods I made for dinner? Nope. It was all about me and I didn't really understand the impact it had on him.

Just stay diligent and strong. If your mom wants to buy herself a pizza or burrito then so be it. Just do what you need to do for yourself.

Sorry :(

envelope
06-09-2011, 02:04 PM
I wonder if my MIL is just threatened by me? Your mom might feel the same way. She doesn't want to change what she eats. She thinks you are depriving yourself if you eat healthy. I don't know. My own mom is just the opposite, so it's really frustrating for me.

This is off topic but your statement reminded me of when I told my SIL that we were not going on vacation and paying for it with a credit card because we did not want to be in debt. She replied, "Wouldn't you regret not having gone on vacation if your husband died?" To which I replied, "We would regret having the debt I would have to struggle to repay on my own if he died!"

Beach Patrol
06-09-2011, 02:16 PM
I couldn't live with my mom, either. I live two hours away and she still feels like she can boss me around sometimes.

I couldn't live with my mom either!
I moved over 300 miles to get away from her. Ack!
(But I love her, cause, you know, "she's me-mum!") :dizzy:

tinamariex16
06-09-2011, 04:30 PM
I work for family.. and they try to sabotage me on purpose. They're very health conscious and just want to be able to tell me I can't do it. I've started just pretending that I don't even hear them.

txladymedic
06-09-2011, 05:03 PM
I would volunteer to go back to Afghanistan or Iraq before I'd go live with my Mom or MIL. And I get along with my Mom and MIL but they both make me a little crazy some times.

theCandEs
06-09-2011, 05:50 PM
This is off topic but your statement reminded me of when I told my SIL that we were not going on vacation and paying for it with a credit card because we did not want to be in debt. She replied, "Wouldn't you regret not having gone on vacation if your husband died?" To which I replied, "We would regret having the debt I would have to struggle to repay on my own if he died!"

LOL Don't you love how people try to run your life? I guess what is so extra frustrating about it is that my mom doesn't do that, so I don't always know how to handle it.

Kaonashi
06-09-2011, 07:55 PM
but they were yelling at me cause i wouldnt eat fried chicken and potato salad (which i cant stand potato salad anyway)

Ye gods, were we separated at birth? Because I LOATHE potato salad and people are ALWAYS trying to convince me that their potato salad is "different" and that I would like it.

Err...no. It's nasty and the texture is foul.

Angie
06-09-2011, 09:58 PM
My mom waffles between being really supportive and completely undermining. When she is undermining or tempting me I don't think she means to sabotage me, but she just feels tired of this eating healthy game. In our family food is a reward..you deserve to eat the foods you want because you work hard, and are a good person, and not being wealthy, you don't have many other luxuries... It's a hard mindset to move past.

txladymedic
06-09-2011, 11:51 PM
Ye gods, were we separated at birth? Because I LOATHE potato salad and people are ALWAYS trying to convince me that their potato salad is "different" and that I would like it.

Err...no. It's nasty and the texture is foul.

Ohhhh and here I thought it was just me...I can't stand the stuff! And yet everyone thinks I've gone mad. LOL I just want to scream "No I don't want to try your *blank* potato salad...I don't care if yours is different....I DON'T LIKE IT!"
Coleslaw is a different story though. My Dad got me into eating Coleslaw when I was little by letting me help make it and by putting apples in it. I to this day make mine from scratch with my Dad's own special sauce. The Slaw is lightly covered in this delightful Mayonnaise based sauce and is ohhh so good.

Kaonashi
06-10-2011, 12:50 AM
Coleslaw is delicious!

I can't eat stuffing either. And I hate it when people stuff turkeys with the stuff because that horrid nasty stuffing taste goes all through the bird and completely ruins it. Sometimes, I feel bad when both potato salad AND stuffing is on the menu and the person obviously takes pride in their cooking and seem genuinely upset...

...but I don't feel bad enough to attempt to eat it! BLECH!

Munchy
06-10-2011, 10:05 AM
I am saying this in the nicest way possible but it sounds to me like your mother is pretty self absorbed. Meaning, she doesn't REALLY know (in denial?) how eating bad can really affect you. And if she doesn't know it then she doesn't know why you are doing it. And believe me, I used to be self absorbed too. My ex husband was a Marine and had to keep in tip top shape. Do you think I cared what kind of fried foods I made for dinner? Nope. It was all about me and I didn't really understand the impact it had on him.

Just stay diligent and strong. If your mom wants to buy herself a pizza or burrito then so be it. Just do what you need to do for yourself.

Sorry :(

Cosign this 100%. Just do what you do, and your health will improve. At a certain point, you have to just take care of yourself, regardless of what others want to do with their bodies.