Hi Everybody. Our daily chat seemed to have vanished with all of the threads started lately, which by the way is a great thing. Looks like were all returning from our "hiding paces" we found during the holiday season. WooHooo!
I began thinking today that my new found confidence and determination was going to sooner than later lose itself again. But then I realized, it's up to me. It's not some magical "awe" that comes over me. I put it there, and I throw it out when I get tired, frustrated or bored. It's up to me. Sure, I get help from everyone here shairng their ups and downs. But if I really want this, I am gonna have to do it. I am stronger than any food item. I have to just keep believing. Never doubt myself. Never doubt that I can't get there. If I think it, if I believe it...I will do it.
So, in 2003...I am freeing myself of the negative thoughts, the self doubts and the cycles I've created in the past. I am free to be who I want to be. And this year, am gonna be that woman!
Hope everyone year is starting off on the right track. If it's not, don't ignore it, don't wait for Monday or next month. Today is the most important day. Right now.
01-07-2003, 06:13 PM
I have not had a good holiday season at all. I weigh in tonight to see if I lost or gained. I don't know in that aspect if it's up or down. I had a hard time in other areas. I am now faced with a tough decision. To move or not to move. I just got a voucher for housing assistance. I have 60 days to decide what to do. I figure I could possibly bring my rent down to around 300 dollars a month from 400. It is 100 dollars to put in other areas of bills but I am not sure what I want to do. The kids love this trailer I live in right now and I really like it also but I don't like the fixing up that needs to be done on it. I guess I will have some heavy thinking to do. Also the jerk of an ex decided not to sign the papers and now I am screwed out of alot of taxes I could have gotten. I am having him served with the papers and I will have a court date also to deal with. He also went out and cashed his 401 K plan and bought a karioke machine and a pool table. Lost his job and never calls to talk to the kids. I have a son that is so messed up right now it isn't even funny. He misses his dad and I hate his dad what's worse than that. I have started him in the counseling. His first appointment is on Thursday. I hope it all goes well.
one good thing did happen that is I am starting a new position in the company. It is alot easier and very lax in the respect I get to work when I want to and put in 8 hours and go home. I don't feel as pressured in the mornings.
Well I am going to take off from work here and pick up the rug rats from daycare. Take care all.
01-07-2003, 06:51 PM
Great to see your still so enthusiastic Jennifer, losing weight takes motivation and willpower more then anything, keep trying and you'll get there, you've done it once before you can do it again.
Life sounds hard for you at the moment Tamara, I think if your happy where you are then your better of staying unless you know your going to go into a better house/area with the goverment, don't just go anyware, some goverment housing flats can be pretty scary. Rents sound expensive over there, here they start at about 50$usa for a flat and 75$ usa for a house and yard per week, goverment housing starts at 15$ usa per week then goes up depending on how much you make, must make it difficult for you. Don't let that ex of yours get you down, he will probably try and make things be as hard for you as he can, he doesn't want to think you can make it on your own, the less notice you take of him and the more you survive...... well it will drive him crazy knowing you can do just fine with out him. Living well is the best revenge.
Im doing well with my new years plan, walking everyday and not having too much trouble staying low carb, makes a change from lowcal for a change.
01-07-2003, 07:31 PM
Wow, Kittymilk! That IS cheap rent! We bought our house because it's cheaper than rent...3 bedrooms, two bathrooms, fairly large backyard for $555 per month. My best friend rents a one bedroom apartment (about 750 sq. feet) and pays $530 a month for it! In California, my aunt rents a 3 bedroom, 1 bath townhome for $1400 a month. :fr: That's why I don't want to move back to California!!
Tamara - I'm surprised that your hubby was able to cash out his 401K without your consent. He might have forged your signature on some documents - check with your divorce lawyer. (And if you don't have one, GET ONE....'cause it sounds like your ex is going to do everything he can to screw you over.)
01-07-2003, 09:39 PM
I'm back in the "trying to loose" mode. I am so ready to just give up. It is so frustrating to be able to maintain, but not keep loosing the weight.
If the weight doesn't start to come off soon with the only few options I have left, I may end up with a gastric bypass (sp?) I just want to get the weight off and nothing else seems to be working. The doctor that I see has suggested it several times. I don't know. I just know that I want it off and I'm sick of sticking to a diet and not having it work at all.
Other then that, things have been going good for me. I'm back at the ski resort working the daycare center for the winter and back in school. I love it and can't wait to start the spring semester.
Sorry I haven't been around much. I have been working my but off and haven't had much time to do anything!!
I will try to check back a little more often.
01-07-2003, 10:52 PM
Hi all! Well, it's 7 days into the new year and I can't say I am having great success. Some good days some bad. Pretty typical for me. Not sure what I am "going to do about it" (per Jen's thread). I am toying with seeing a nutritionist, toying with Body for life, toying with surgery. I just want to find something that is going to work for me once and for all. Something I will stick to.
I think that Jennifer pretty much hit it on the head talking about how this is something we just have to do. I think somewhere I am looking for something exciting. Hey, wouldn't just sticking to any plan and losing weight be exciting?!?! I think I read once that losing weight is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. It takes work. Just do it...Sandi...Just do it.
Other than that life is good. Back in full swing. Teaching 4 out do 5 days which prevents me from being out here as much as I would like. I really enjoyed my 2 weeks off with Jacob. Pure Heaven.
Tamara - I'm sorry things are so rough right now. Just hang in there. I'm glad you checked in...I was thinking about you.
Bella - I have seen alot of information about plateaus. What have you tried? Have you tried eating 6 small meals a day? What is your current plan? If you post that maybe w can help you modify it for results.
Jennifer - I know you can do this. I know you can!!
01-07-2003, 11:34 PM
i live in california, and our 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment is 955. that's cheap for CA.
i have a new job, new classes, but not really the new motivation. i need to set my stress free.
my mood today isn't great. this isn't the best time to post probably, cuz i'll cheer up later, no doubt. i'm still dwelling on the binge i had earlier. i don't usually let myself go like that.
so what i need to be free from is stress. one day at a time, right??
01-08-2003, 02:41 AM
I think I'm moving to Sydney for the rents, but not before I call my Uncle Vito to have him rough Tamara's ex up. :angel:
I guess for me the biggest part is A#1, moving my a$$. The other thing is to be prepared so I don't have to think about what to make to eat on a daily basis.
I'm signing up for Pilates & yoga classes w/Park & Rec, that should be fun. They start @ the end of January.
I dunno, this New Year has been pretty happy for me so far. (If you dont count my car troubles) :) Met a great guy, can't wait to see where this heads. :cloud9:
01-08-2003, 02:56 AM
I just finished watching Signs with Dh tonight. We saw it in the theatre, but I had to buy the DVD cuz there were a few things I missed. Man every little bump and creak in my house is scaring me silly. I keep jumping out of my puter chair when the cat walks in the room.
I decided this year I would make NO resolutions, due to the fact that I always break them. Now there will be none to break therefore I won't get depressed over failing.
I'm doing good, struggling with some of the attitudes I am getting from the Real Life people around me...but once again my mantra is "It's their problem, not mine".
I can't wait to get to exercising. I have one more week of 'recouping' to do and then I can go full boar...well, nearly full boar. (My treadmill still isn't fixed yet) Hopefully soon! ! !
Jenniffer and everyone else, you are an inspiration through the trials of life you are still surviving and working on acheiving your goals! ! !
01-08-2003, 12:19 PM
I'm borederline right now. I'm definately dieting and getting out there and moving but I'm certianly not as gung-ho about it. Like, it rained this morning so I didn't go out and walk. Normally, that wouldn't stop me. Conversly, I'm planning on walking when I get home and I'm pretty sure I'll do it which means that I must have some motivation (or at least I'm adapting it as a lifestyle).
Jenniffer - Chica, you can so do this. We all know it. Glad you do too.
Sandi - Going back to work stinks. :) I swear I'd be thin if I could spend all day working out and cooking.
Tamara - You will survive! I'm sorry it looks so bad right now.
SuchaPrettyFace - Details!!!
Holly - Where did you get such cheap rent?!?! I live in Southern CA and pay $1000 for my one bedroom/1bath cottage. Of course, it's like 80 degrees out today, so no wonder I live here. :)
01-08-2003, 12:20 PM
I am glad to hear of everyone's new dedication and thoughts on weight loss for the new year. I too, have decided to try to really start again. I have really, really, really slacked since November and I'm just not sure I'll be able to get right back on track again. I don't understand it, but even though I have been WAY OP, and not exercising, I have still lost weight. I am now at 204.5. I think that it may just be stress weight loss, because I've been stuffing myself agian. Uggy.
Tamara, I am so sorry to hear of all of your troubles. Try to focus on the positive, the great new job, and your wonderful kids. Talk to a lawyer about the 401K thing.
Bella, please talk to another doctor. Just because you have kids, does not mean that PCOS is definately ruled out. I think that surgery is a very dangerous means to an end, so please be sure before you go though with it.
01-08-2003, 12:45 PM
I'm trying to really focus on my physical and mental health this year. I tell myself that I'm not necessarily trying to lose weight, but that I'm trying to get healthier. I will be 58 this year - the age my mother had to have bypass surgery. And at 59, my dad had a heart attack. Add this inherited risk to my mostly out of control diabetes, and I am a walking timebomb. I want to live to see my my grandchildren's children, so I'm trying to be good to myself. Eating well, moving my bod, working on cleaning my emotional "closets". And most of all, trying to actually "like" who I am, being gentler with myself and others.
01-08-2003, 05:28 PM
heh. davis is a college town. a hippie, college town. i still think it's expensive!!! but it's near sacramento. i live a mile from the college, so i bike to school. yay me.
01-09-2003, 10:03 AM
Glad to see your post, Bella. Had been hoping all was well with you and it seems like much of your life is going well. Actually almost all. it seems. but the weight issue and it's good to know that. I'm sure you'll find the direction you want to/need to go soon. You just have so much determination. Hugs to your sweet little ones, too.
01-09-2003, 12:39 PM
Almost Friday. Almost Friday. I keep telling myself this as I am cringing at the sounds of my co-worker behind me with her hackle-cackle laughter. Oh, it could drive someone to drink. Specifically, me.
I had a zero point day yesterday, but all in all, it still wasn't that bad. Even though I had some ice cream that I didn't enjoy. Normally, I would figure it being Thursday and all, I might as well, eat what I want, and begin on Monday. Nope, not this time. I am OP today, and I feel so much better. So, am hoping for a small loss tomorrow. I was down 1.5 lbs the other night, I just hope it stays that way tomorrow morning. I will be happy. Not alot, but in the right direction. WoooHoo!
Tamara..*HUGS* Missed you chickie...am glad you came in. And am sorry to hear your having such a hard time. I could only imagine, I did it, but with no kids, and I could barely make it through a day without breaking down sometimes. You are a strong woman, and you will look back at this time one day and exhale. I promise you. Now, about the housing situation..you can look at it like this:
1) Cheaper rent without the fixing up of the place you have now.
2) A new start for you and the children.
1)It may be too soon for the kids to have to adjust to a new home, meaning so soon after their $%&#$% father left.
2) You will have the stress of having to move.
It's alot to think about. You know your children and yourself best, so think about it. I think that the best thing for your son right now is counseling. I was really happy to hear that he has an appt on Thursday. What about you? Are you getting any support? I hope so...were here for you chickie..and if anything..we can make you laugh. *HUGS*
KittyMilk..Are you serious? I think am gonna have to move to Down Under. My rent in NY is $750 plus utilities, for a 1 bedroom cottage. It's a decent size for 1 person, but that's about it. And I live next to a parking lot and a church, no privacy. And it's considered cheap here in NY. The average price for a 1 bedroom apartment is at least $1100. And that is a small apartment. I won't be living in NY for too many more years...it's too pricey.
bella....Hey there chiquita! I hear the desperation in your post. I want you to think back to a few months ago. You were full of determination..and you felt wonderful. And you were losing. You can get back there again, you know. Just one day at a time. One, that's all. And btw....Most women who develop PCOS, do so in their late 20's, early 30's after having at least one child. So, it wouldn't be unheard of if you do indeed have PCOS. It would actually make sense. The hard part about this syndrome is, it's different with each case.
Sandi...Excitement? Hmmm. So, you want excitement. Well....excitement would be to me....wearing a size 14 black cute lil dress. Or running up a flight of stairs and not losing my breathe. That would be excitement to me. Oh, you mean..the whole weightloss thingy exciting..well...I guess we have to bottle up those "powerful" feelings....and unleash them when we don't have those great feelings anymore.
Holly...Still in a downer mood? Think of this...think about carrying a 24 lb bag of cat litter for 5 miles. Think you'd be able to do it? 24 lbs is alot. I doubt I'd do it. My arm would fall off.
Well...that is how much you lost! That is how much less you are carrying everyday. Feel good now???? You should.
SuchaPrettyface...New man, eh? How's it going? Yoga..never tried it. You like??
Amy...Is the movie worth renting? I picked it up off the counter last weekend but put it back. I hate watching movies that waste my time (Men In Black 2)....should I see it? Your right about other people...it's their problem. No sense in worrying about how they feel...cause they don't think once about how we feel.
Goddess Jessica...Ooooh. I know what you mean. Believe me...at one time, you could catch me out in the rain, sleet, snow..anything..I'd be out there..walking my 2.5 mile daily walk. In 100 degrees or 20. Now..I seem to shy away from it for any reason. I plan on starting my lunch time 2.5 mile walk on Monday. I will feel so much better.
Denise..Hi chickie...glad to see you posting! You are almost at the crosswalk...where you slip right under the 200's. Wooohoo!
Soiley...Hey there. I really felt your post...your doing some soul cleansing..and we all need that once in awhile. Usually, we don't allow ourselves that though. In my opinion, I think that you concentrating on controlling your diabetes, exercising...is much more important than a dress size or two. That will come later. Were here for you....rooting you on. You will feel so much better! I am borderline Type 2..with a family history....I too need to gain some control.
Wow...Alot of babbling for me today. Hope everyone is smiling...my co-worker finally stopped hackling and cackling...I can now think straight. heehee
Oh..check me out...I am the one in the middle.
01-09-2003, 12:41 PM
I am the one in the middle.
01-09-2003, 01:14 PM
Jennifer, you are gorgeous!!!!! Looks like you had a lot of fun on New Year's Eve! :hat:
I hear ya on the annoying coworkers thing... I've got a couple & believe me, every time I see them coming towards my desk, I just want to run! :lol:
01-09-2003, 02:36 PM
yes, you look great! i couldn't tell your weight in that pic =)
01-09-2003, 04:10 PM
Awww, thanks guys.
There are a few pics from that night that I will be burning.
01-09-2003, 05:14 PM
The rent in australia sure is cheap to overseas I remember when I lived in london for awhile how hard it was paying so much and getting so little. A couple of years ago my dh and I moved to the goldcoast in Australia and rented a large 2 bedroom flat oppisite the beach, awsome view of the waves only 30 feet from the sand for all of 70$ usa per week! Those rents you mentioned Jennifer I sure hope are monthly not weekly even then it sounds like alot for one person to fork out.
Not much else is new here, was good this morning and have been for an hour walk already, hope to get my vege garden a bit more under control today, been putting it off but I know I will feel better for getting the extra exersize in.
Hope everyone is having a good op day,
01-09-2003, 08:30 PM
Jennifer - You look more like my younger sister than my younger sister does! And I really like your dress!
01-09-2003, 11:11 PM
Annoying coworkers are the reason God created headphones. :D
Holly: Yes, one day at a time is right.
Jessica: He's 2 years older than me. He's adorable, sweet, and a bit of a goofball. :) I love his big brown eyes. :love:
Denise: I know you can do it!
Jerie: Sounds like a good plan. Sometimes I have to stop & say, "You would never treat a friend how you're treating yourself right now".
Jennifer: You really do look awesome! I guess he's not all *that* new, we've been friends awhile. It's going great! As for the yoga, I've done it before & loved it. Should be fun.
Bella: I would get a second, and even a third opinion about the PCOS
Kitty: Between the rents, the koalas, and the NYE fireworks in Sydney, it sounds really really tempting to be your neighbor!
01-10-2003, 09:22 AM
I'm still hanging in there! Congrats again to Snowball for 100 pounds!!!! Wow!!!! It IS possible!! Snowball has done it! I can do it too.
No New Year's Resolutions for me. I can't plan till I feel better. Good news. I've been discharged from physical therapy for my hands. I still have to be careful and not do too much too soon, but I can manage with my home exercise program. I AM getting better.
My back is not so good. I pulled something else out around New Year's. I had a physical therapist look at it a few days ago, and it's a problem with L5 being twisted out of position on top of the other torsion I already had in my back. I have an appointment with an orthopedic Dr. too look at my hands, but I will ask him about my back while there and see if I can get a prescription for physical therapy for it since it's my back that's killing me now - not my hands. I want so much to get better and get back exercising - but it's one injury after another. I feel so frustrated. I can't sit long, stand long, or drive long. I don't go out except for work, church on Sunday and medical appointments anymore. I pray for healing and ask you guys for your prayers too - and I trust God will heal me in His time - and that He will bring good out of this. He has already. I think I am much closer to my God, and somewhat more patient. Somewhat. I still would like to be healed - NOW. How patient is that?
Amazingly, last night, I slipped on the ice and landed flat on my back, but aside from being extra sore - I don't think I injured anything else! Yes!!!!!! Must be grateful for small blessings.
So what small or not so small blessings am I grateful for? 3FC which helps so much in my weight struggle because I know I am not alone, my hands have improved alot, I can still teach, I haven't gotten the flu or a cold for ages, when I apply heat and lay down I can be painfree sometimes while I lay there, I can sleep through the night now, I've lost 85 pounds :D :D :D, I have hopes of feeling better, I know I am loved by God, I have good friends, the beaty of sunshine on the snow, my car works, the internet, sunsets, chocolate, quiet moments.
01-10-2003, 09:42 AM
JML, I certainly will be praying for your recovery. And a speedy one at that. I'm so glad you didn't injure yourself when you slipped on the ice!
You're just such an inspiration to me... you've got all this going on yet you still continue to take care of yourself & achieve your goals. I can't believe you only have 20 pounds to go!!! That is amazing!!! You rock, my friend!!! :D
01-10-2003, 11:40 AM
Jenniffer, you are too darn cute!!! Omigod, you look great!
Hope everyone is doing better. I'm feeling a bit down (diet-wise). I'm walking everyday but only for 45-1 hour and my calorie intake has been a bit higher, but not much higher. It's frustrating to feel like you're doing so well but not see the scale move. I know this pattern though, and I should know better than to get upset over it.
In the good news area, I perform with my improv group on Saturday and I am SOOOO excited! It's like, "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" if you've ever seen that show. Our theme is television so we are doing a lot of games making fun of the Dating Game, Jeopardy and Reality TV. It's going to be my first performance with them.
I'm hoping to go dancing tonight and that should put me back in the mood for getting in better shape.
01-10-2003, 12:28 PM
Thank you, Snowball for your prayers. Keep 'em coming! :^: You inspire me too.
I just went to the gym. I'm so sore from yesterday - in a much greater area than a heating pad covers. I figured some whole body moist heat was in order so I put on my swimsuit and went for the hot tub at the gym. I think I feel better. I need a new swimsuit though. Mine is a size 20, and I'm a size 14. It's a little wrinkly but I can make do for now. Now if I can only recover enough to feel good enough to shop for a new one.
Goddess Jessical - have fun dancing tonight! Sounds like a blast and good exercise too!!!!
Jennifer - I think you're cute too. Can't tell you're overweight from the pic at all.
01-10-2003, 12:38 PM
Wow, Jessica, I did not know you were in an improv group! They are so much fun (I was a member of one in college - of course, it was in podunk missouri, so we didn't get to perform much). It sounds like you are doing great, so don't give up on the diet. You know this cycle, and you will overcome it. Have fun dancing and definately have fun doing improv!
Jennifer, you look great!!!!! I'm sure that you had a great time (you sure looked like you did)
Jeanne, I hope that your back starts doing better soon, it sure seams like you have been through a lot with it lately. I'm glad to hear that you didn't hurt yourself more.
Me, I'm doing alright lately. Finally getting back into the grove of things, but still not dieting or exercising. I think that it may just be self-sabotage....I haven't been under 200 for many years, and don't know what it will be like! :) I know that I can do it, and I will do it, I just need the kick in the *** to get me started again.
01-10-2003, 01:16 PM
Ah, one more thing I am dealing with along with the physical issues and the weight. Ah, I am dumping today, I know. I'm living at home at the moment, and can't do anything about leaving as I am not well, and can barely work as much as I do. One of my sisters has been very angry with me for I don't know how long - months, years? I don't know why. I don't know if she knows why. She is trying to hurt me. Not by physical beating, understand, though she certainly ought to be delighted since I am hurting physically right now. In small ways, by angry words, by angry glances, by refusing to look at me - except for the angry faces she makes at me, speak with me, by bumping into me as if I weren't there, by playing loud music when I am trying to read or rest. At the dinner table for the family Sunday dinner, she sits next to me but turns her body sideways so she doesn't have to look at me. If I ask her to pass something, she bangs it on the table and turns further away from me. If I walk into a room, she walks out. Months ago, I tried to make peace with her. I asked if I did something that made her angry. She admitted she WAS trying to hurt me back then. At that time, she was jealous of my weight loss, she said. But why would that be enough to want to hurt me? I don't know what's on her mind now. I think I might know actually, but hesitate to say without hearing it from her. I'm hesitant to talk with her because I might just make things worse. I do feel angry with her because her anger doesn't justify the way she treats me. Maybe I just don't understand? But, I also pity her because it must be horrible to live with such anger and maliciousness. One of the psychological aspects of weight loss is difficulty dealing with difficult people. I have always avoided them like the plague or taken bad behavior like a doormat, figuring it was all I was worth. I'm not good at confronting people or being assertive. I've been dealing with my sister mostly by avoiding her like poison, and avoiding being home to the best of my ability. I've tried to deal with the anger first by allowing myself to feel it, second to try to give it to God, and ask Him to guide me to do the right thing, and to give me compassion for her. I don't want to simply mirror her hurtful behavior back at her. I want to make things better if I can. I'm not going to squash my feelings like I used to. I DO feel angry, and I don't see anything unjustified in that. However, when I actually go to talk to her, I want to do it in a constructive way. It's such a bad situation. The tension it creates makes my physical pain worse. Thanks for listening, my friends.
01-10-2003, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by Jenniffer
Amy...Is the movie worth renting? I picked it up off the counter last weekend but put it back. I hate watching movies that waste my time (Men In Black 2)....should I see it?
Love the pic of you Jennifer, and definately the movie is worth renting. (at least that's my opinion).
~JML...sounds like jealousy to me. My sister and my mom (unfortunately) are the same way. Thankfully my sister lives 1000 miles away, but my mom is literally around the corner from me. She refuses to see me, and says she's sick all the time and doesn't want company (yet my brother and his girlfriend go over there all the time).
I think you need to do what I do, and let them have their fits. Don't let their problems become your problems. My mom wants me to feel guilty for having a lap-band installed. She thinks its the easy way out. If she only asked she would know how hard I still struggle with head-hunger and making the right food choices.
But no one in my family asks, nor cares, they still don't see the efforts I try to make.
I think it's the same with your sister as well. She wants you to feel bad and guilty because of all you are acheiving. Don't give into it. You don't deserve it. You deserve the praise for having the courage to change the way you look and feel about yourself.
You are no longer the doormat...remember that! ! !
Today has been a rough day already. Got the call the dh's uncle has been given 2 weeks to 2 months to live. He's riddled with cancer. I feel horrible he's such a nice man. We are flying back east next month for a wedding. I'm hoping that we can see him then, if not then it's God's will...:cry:
My kids are driving me crazy. I just want some quiet time. *sigh*...
Okay 'nuff complaining.
01-10-2003, 03:34 PM
Well I have done GREAT today, I have been drinking my water. And my foods have been very high protien today (except the small handfull of pretzles).
The only problem today was that I have boken out in hives ( due to some meds) but that is not a big deal.
I just wanted to say thanks for the welcome back and I hope to start posting more often,