100 lb. Club - Why I don't get the "you look like you've lost weight" comments




GirlyGirlSebas
06-02-2011, 03:08 PM
I see so many posts where people are wondering why nobody seems to notice their weight loss. I've also heard posters saying that others finally noticed their weight losses when they had reached anywhere from 25-30 pounds lost. But, the one thing I think a lot of us forget is that the actual number is relative when it comes to changes in your body. Not all 26 pounds are created equally.

When I do the math, it kinda makes sense to me why no one has commented on my weight loss. I started at 278. My goal is 150 pounds. That means I had approximately 128 extra pounds of insulation on these tired bones at the beginning of my journey. Therefore, my percentage of fat loss is 20% or 1/5th of my extra insulation. Now, to compare. If a 200 pound woman with the same 150 pound goal also loses 26 pounds, her loss is 52% or 1/2 of her insulation! So, yeah...okay. I can see why people haven't noticed my weight loss yet. I've not lost that big of a percentage to be as noticeable. And, this post has been all about the math. I've not even yet considered where I hold most of my weight and where it has chosen to come off first. LOL These hips don't lie, yet the "girls" have decided to go first.
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Sandi
06-02-2011, 03:42 PM
The only person who has noticed my weight loss who didn't already know was my manicurist. Other than that - nothing. But I have to be realistic. At my high weight, my weight loss has just taken me to a lesser degree of fatness. I bet I have to get closer to 100 lost before people will notice enough to say anything. It's just not drastic yet.

Plus, I think people notice that maybe I look better, but don't want to offend by mentioning it. I am not worried, soon enough the day will come that no one will recognize me! Then I can pick who I want to be friends with!!! ;)

bargoo
06-02-2011, 03:43 PM
I have people comment "You lost it so fast". I didn't lose it fast, they just happened to notice it even though I had been melting away for quite sone time.


MadameZombie
06-02-2011, 04:12 PM
I lost about 20 pounds and no one has said anything. I think they are being polite and/or haven't really noticed. I lose evenly so it's hard for me to even notice.

amyrose310
06-02-2011, 04:17 PM
Nobody has noticed I've lost anything with the exception of my kids and my daycare kids. One of them told me I had a little more room on my lap lol I am hoping as I go grown ups will start to see my efforts :)

JamiSue3916
06-02-2011, 04:22 PM
One of them told me I had a little more room on my lap lol

Okay, that is really cute!

I'm down just over 20 and no one has really noticed either. Though, like MadameZombie, I lose mine pretty evenly so I think it'll take more for others to notice. My mom says it all the time but she's biased! ;) My oldest son did tell me that he can fit his arms around me...that one meant the most that's for sure!

Lori Bell
06-02-2011, 04:25 PM
Please also remember that some people may notice your weight loss already but are afraid to say anything. I never realized how much offence some people take at weight loss compliments until I started reading here and other places. I know I'll never make a comment again to a anyone about their weight loss...(except those I love and are very close to). Even then, they would have to bring it up first.

JamiSue3916
06-02-2011, 04:30 PM
Please also remember that some people may notice your weight loss already but are afraid to say anything.

This is actually a really good point! I know it's helped for me to discuss my journey with those I see daily - even co-workers. It's great to get the moral support but also seems to make them more comfortable in paying compliments or asking how I'm doing.

Ky30
06-02-2011, 04:41 PM
For me a few people noticed when I lost the first 25 pounds but it was people who knew I was on a weight loss journey other people really started noticing at 50 pounds and diffently at 75 pounds now at 90 pounds one of my chillds teacher from last year at my kids school didnt even reconize me till they saw me with my child lol. It will come and I relized at 285 pounds 5 to 10 pounds lost didnt really show when I got around 220 pounds 5 to 10 pounds really shows.

saef
06-02-2011, 05:02 PM
It took me 30 pounds and NEW CLOTHES.

I always have to bring up the clothes thing. The comments will come sooner when you make the leap from "I think I can still wear this" to "There's no way I can get away with this -- I need to get something new that fits."

And yes, my experience echoes Lori's. Particularly in the workplace, people are not so fast to comment on women's bodies, for very good reasons.

And it depends on the individual. So I've lost over 107 pounds ... but one guy I worked with never said a word about the changes I'd undergone until two weeks ago, after he was laid off & lost his job. Responding to my "best wishes, sorry" e-mail, he wrote back saying he admired my dramatic weight loss & also my keeping it off. This is the first I'd ever heard from him on this subject. Mind you, my cubicle was just several feet away from this man's throughout my whole weight loss effort, which started in January 2006. So it's May 2011 and NOW he spoke up about it .... (Then again one of the reasons he was laid off was his habit of procrastination.)

kaplods
06-02-2011, 05:13 PM
I also think the people who see us regularly are the least likely to notice (because change is gradual and we look the same today as we did yesterday or last week) and the people who don't see us frequently aren't close enough for most of them to feel comfortable making such a personal comment about a change in appearance.

The only way hubby and I can see our own weight loss, or the weight loss in each other, is by looking at photographs of ourselves at higher weights.

It's one of the things that makes weight loss so difficult, is the difficulty in perceiving gradual change. Gradual change feels like no change. Even though I'm (finally) having to buy smaller clothes, I still don't see a difference in the mirror, because I look the same today as I did yesterday, and the day before....

dcapulet
06-02-2011, 05:34 PM
It took me 30 pounds and NEW CLOTHES.

I always have to bring up the clothes thing. The comments will come sooner when you make the leap from "I think I can still wear this" to "There's no way I can get away with this -- I need to get something new that fits."

And yes, my experience echoes Lori's. Particularly in the workplace, people are not so fast to comment on women's bodies, for very good reasons.

And it depends on the individual. So I've lost over 107 pounds ... but one guy I worked with never said a word about the changes I'd undergone until two weeks ago, after he was laid off & lost his job. Responding to my "best wishes, sorry" e-mail, he wrote back saying he admired my dramatic weight loss & also my keeping it off. This is the first I'd ever heard from him on this subject. Mind you, my cubicle was just several feet away from this man's throughout my whole weight loss effort, which started in January 2006. So it's May 2011 and NOW he spoke up about it .... (Then again one of the reasons he was laid off was his habit of procrastination.)

:rofl: at that last bit :)

caryesings
06-02-2011, 05:45 PM
Yep, one of the things I had liked about being a big girl was that I could gain 20 lbs. and not even have to buy new clothes. It wasn't so fun on the way down...

GirlyGirlSebas
06-02-2011, 06:01 PM
But, back to my original thought....yes, in terms of effort and dedication, 26 pounds is a lot of weight! In terms of noticeable changes to my body and my size, the change is really not that much yet.

carter
06-02-2011, 06:25 PM
But, back to my original thought....yes, in terms of effort and dedication, 26 pounds is a lot of weight! In terms of noticeable changes to my body and my size, the change is really not that much yet.

Yes, you are spot on. Have a look at this post:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/metabolic-research-center/146593-paper-towel-theory.html
for another way of exploring that insight you've had.

TooManyDimples
06-02-2011, 09:33 PM
I always love the paper towel theory. =)

saef
06-02-2011, 11:15 PM
Me, too. Damn, don't you just love a vivid metaphor when someone's explaining something?

(Unfortunately, if we who lose weight gradually over time are paper towels, then I am Bounty, the Quicker Picker-Upper, because I am still able to retain so much fluid from the slightest lick of salt or impending hormonal uproar during my menstrual period.)

ShyHeather
06-03-2011, 02:09 AM
I think, as some have all ready stated, people are afraid to comment. It seems like there is a huge communication break down anymore, and people are afraid of getting snapped at for being, in their eyes polite or encouraging.

Personally, I would love it if someone I worked with or even someone at the gym noticed that I had lost weight and made a comment. But I can understand the uncertainty they may feel because I read horror stories all the time.

It's sad, but when I look in the mirror I still see my 340lb+ self staring back at me. I don't see the 265lb woman I've become.

charliee
06-03-2011, 02:25 AM
if we who lose weight gradually over time are paper towels, then I am Bounty, the Quicker Picker-Upper, because I am still able to retain so much fluid from the slightest lick of salt or impending hormonal uproar during my menstrual period.)

This is hilarious!! And I totally agree.

It's a fine line I think telling someone that they look like they've lost weight, you never really know if someone is going to be sensitive about it. I always try to keep my compliments more general, as in "you're looking great, what's your secret?"

I think compliments about weight loss should be quick and general. Then if the person who is getting healthier decides to open up about it then you can take it from there.

I've seen people who honestly meant well, really make a person who is dieting feel self conscious by asking a million personal questions about their weight loss journey in front others.

Trazey34
06-03-2011, 10:37 AM
i agree with the "degrees of fatness" comment LOL I sure noticed 40 pounds on myself, but to be fair I was STILL 280 right? so still enormous, and a lot of people put fat people in a 'fat category' and leave them there. Sucks. I'd prefer no comments than to the fake ones of "oh you've lost weight" after 5 pounds hahahah just because they know you're doing it ~ now THAT sucks!

I liked the "oh you look good...what's different" like they didn't quite know and didn't want to say in case they were wrong LOL

April Snow
06-03-2011, 01:06 PM
Yep, one of the things I had liked about being a big girl was that I could gain 20 lbs. and not even have to buy new clothes. It wasn't so fun on the way down...

ha! Yes, this, unfortunately. I know from past experience that it will take me a LONG time (in the 25-35 lbs range) to truly change clothing sizes. And as someone else mentioned, that is also when the loss becomes more apparent to others, or at least crosses over the line where they will start to comment.

It does sometimes feel frustrating that I have to put in so much time and effort and did I mention time before hitting that point. But the alternative of staying the same, or even worse, getting bigger, is no longer an option for me.

Jen516
06-06-2011, 12:03 AM
Lots of good points here... You're right on with the percentage thing! As a tall girl who weighed a LOT more than I should have, it took more weight lost before it made a difference, like 40 pounds. Plus, I agree people are hesitant to say anything and the correct-size clothing issue makes a HUGE difference. And it's totally true that people who see you regularly are less likely to notice. I'm a high school teacher and I lost 70 pounds over the school year. Not a single one of my current students ever said anything, but when previous students came back to visit, I got TONS of comments. :shrug: Keep up the good work -- you'll get there soon, and then pretty soon, you'll start to get sick of hearing about it! :D

MrsTee
06-06-2011, 01:24 AM
Hi all - interesting thread - and I soooooo agree with all the point's here, from my many many attempts at this caper, about 40 lb seems to be the marker for me that people notice. 20 or 25 lb I notice in my face and clothes but essentially I am wearing the same clothes - I know they are looser - but no one else does. I think I probably look much the same - FAT!!!

The compliments when they come are lovely, but also make me feel a little uncomfortable, not because it's a compliment for all my hard work, more that I was/am so large to begin with???

silentarctic
06-06-2011, 02:49 PM
People only notice because I'm active, girls at my workout classes, or people who see me walking everywhere will say they've noticed big changes. i think its all mental. I think I am "acting thinner" interms of people see me out about and active. There is a TINY change if I look at pictures side by side, but really not that much of one and I think that they are "noticing" my activity level more than real weight loss... but thats just what I think ;) .

fattymcfatty
06-07-2011, 11:54 AM
Yeah, for me, my mother noticed first once I was down about 25-30lbs. People started to comment at about 40lbs. However, I still have seen people who say NOTHING. At 75lbs. One friend I finally told that I had lost 70lbs. She said she didn't notice because she sees me once a week at least, so it was harder for her to see a dramatic change. Really? 70lbs down?

JoJoJo2
06-07-2011, 12:08 PM
I was in my mid 70s when I was finally able to lose weight. Evidently my friends noticed that I had lost weight, but were afraid to say anything. They assumed that I was sick and/or dying. :(

Eventually one of my friends mustered up enough courage to ask me about my weight-loss, and I assured her that I was deliberately losing the weight and was in tip-top shape.

That word spread, and after some time had passed my friends became comfortable with the "new me." Looking back, I think it was funny. :wave:

dancinginpaint
06-07-2011, 12:47 PM
Like most other have said I am sure more people have noticed, than have commented. For whatever reason they are not comfortable, and maybe they fear it will make you uncomfortable. I also have become more paranoid about addressing someones weight in a positive way. Simply put, there are a lot of posts about people being angry they get "too many" comments and then others being angry that they "are not getting noticed". Quite frankly its impossible to know what side someone is on. So I would say if you welcome the comments, then when someone does say something, don't down play your efforts accept the compliment so that it will be seen that you are okay with it. But any weight you lose is a success, and even if others don't notice, you know the truth and you can just keep on doing an awesome job. Hope it all works out.