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05-31-2011, 07:49 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 640
S/C/G: 225/ticker/155
Height: 5'6
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my husband
My husband told me this afternoon that he purposely sabotages my weight watchers, cos he thinks its funny.
what do i do about that?
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05-31-2011, 07:55 PM
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#2
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Incredible Shrinking Lisa
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Worcester, MA
Posts: 293
S/C/G: 279.2/ticker/175
Height: 5'5"
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Are you serious?! If my husband ever said / did something like that to me, he'd be sleeping in his car. That is completely unacceptable behavior from a spouse or partner.
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05-31-2011, 07:59 PM
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#3
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onedayatatimer
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,277
S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155
Height: 5'9.5"
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Wow. I'm absolutely shocked to hear this, but I'll bet it happens a whole lot but most people just don't admit it. Tell him that he needs to stop and if he ever does it again, you will sabotage his XYZ (e.g. messing with his computer, his DVR recordings, his appointment calendar, etc.)....you get the message. There is NOTHING funny about sabotaging someone's efforts to get healthy and I wonder why he's really doing it. Could he be afraid of you changing? Is he intimidated by this? It just seems cruel.
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05-31-2011, 08:03 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 640
S/C/G: 225/ticker/155
Height: 5'6
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we went out to dinner, and i did well considering ruby tuesdays isnt in the eating out book. (least i think i did well).
and he decided he wanted a cold stone shake.
i said "**** no thank you. Those are like a days worth of food". I made a point, of pointing out the highest point value food in the book. A shake called "lotta caramel latte" which is 50 points (for a medium) i think. So i stayed in the car with our daughter, and he walked out with a large of that exact shake, for me.
i told him after he told me he likes to sabotage it (cos my responses are funny) that i will be rejoining weight watchers, if hes going to mess with me, he'd might as well be paying for it (left, cos he thinks i can do it with just the books (which i have)) but then he does this! O_O.
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05-31-2011, 08:13 PM
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#5
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Incredible Shrinking Lisa
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Worcester, MA
Posts: 293
S/C/G: 279.2/ticker/175
Height: 5'5"
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I'd have taken the shake - and promptly dumped it on his head.
Time for a SERIOUS sit down conversation.
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05-31-2011, 08:14 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 105
S/C/G: 219/179/130
Height: 5'3
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That is crazy! I'd have to have a serious talk with him for sure. If he says that he's doing it because your responses are funny, maybe don't respond at all?
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05-31-2011, 08:20 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 640
S/C/G: 225/ticker/155
Height: 5'6
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i dont get pissy either. He thinks my shreking high voices (im not even 100% sure what i do) is funny. I'm Australian, so i have an accent that sometimes comes out heavy English when im (as he calls it) "pissy".
my husband is the perpetual prankster. This is no "sit down and talk " with him. Through one ear and out the other.
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05-31-2011, 09:09 PM
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#8
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Made of Starstuff
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,731
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I'd promptly respond with a "**** you, too, dear." *saccharine sweet smile*
I can't deal with a person that close to me who would PURPOSEFULLY go out of their way to tempt me and think it's "funny". I don't think that's a prank, I think it's rather disrespectful.
Really, though, if he won't be "talked with" then the only response is no response whatsoever. He brings out the shake...you calmly thank him and immediately take it to the nearest trash can and toss it in.
Repeat wordlessly and expressionlessly until he no longer buys things you won't eat.
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05-31-2011, 09:18 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 547
S/C/G: 163/137/130-132
Height: 5' 6"
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Wordlessly throwing it in the trash would be my method. Coldstone is not cheap. He just threw $5 away, unless you did eat it. That is just mean. What I eat is just not up for discussion with anyone. Talking about it gives others a chance to have an opinion, and his opinion is that it is humorous, so unfortunately, I guess you cannot look to your husband for support on this.
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05-31-2011, 09:25 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 640
S/C/G: 225/ticker/155
Height: 5'6
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i never look to my husband for support. Honestly, only you ladies help me, and always have. I know someone always making slight comments about my weight, or being unemployed (with a 8 month old we cant afford child care for - for me to work)...
i drank a little bit of it, and filled the cup with water and tipped it out.
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05-31-2011, 09:28 PM
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#11
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Made of Starstuff
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,731
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Don't give in. Don't give up!
I know it's very hard for me to not burst open with how I feel to a person I know well (like my husband), but I'd treat this in the same way that you'd treat fixing a child's behavior.
They want a reaction, you give them none. A bored, uninterested expression on your face as you toss said item into the trash and continue on with whatever you were doing before.
And more ...because that truly must be frustrating.
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05-31-2011, 10:24 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 192
S/C/G: 175/141.5/125
Height: 5'3
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Oh Jinksie! That's a hard situation to handle. I honestly think theres probably a bigger underlying issue besides him trying to get a rise out of you.
My fiancé doesn't sabotage, but one of my bosses does. It's hard to handle. I usually just completely ignore it and walk off. It's not worth it.
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06-01-2011, 12:42 PM
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#13
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Wishful shrinking
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 200
S/C/G: 266/235/160
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I will keep my mouth closed about what you should do about that. But I will just encourage you to keep on even with him as an obstacle. This journey is about YOU and not about HIM. Good luck
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06-01-2011, 12:53 PM
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#14
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,202
S/C/G: 133.4/123.2/115
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It's all a mind game. If you've said no, and he comes out with it, he's wasting money. If you drink a little of it, you're just playing the game with him, you know?
Stand your ground, don't give in, and he'll get bored of wasting your money.
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06-01-2011, 01:01 PM
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#15
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Today I am proud of...me!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 20
S/C/G: 268/ticker/140
Height: 5'3"
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I say prove to him that you are stronger than his childish games and behavior. Each time you "give in" you are letting him win and get satisfaction out of the sabbotage. If you don't give in, you win. Not only win by proving he is being ridiculous, but you win the satisfaction of knowing you are stronger willed than he is. And strong enough to do what is right for yourself.
I think it is a little ridiculous this is even an issue, because your husband should be your biggest cheerleader in this journey. Not your biggest enemy. And I am sad for you that he is not supporting you more.
Either way - we are all here for you, whether he chooses to be or not.
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