General chatter - The stigma of weight loss- news article
I thought this article was interesting, but more interesting (and saddening) are some of the comments that readers shared.
Thoughts? Has anyone had real-life experience that's similar to the results of the study?
05-30-2011, 09:30 AM
Well, newspapers in general are appalling at reporting any kind of scientific study with the slightest bit of accuracy, often completely reversing the findings (even respected places like the BBC do this), and this is the Daily Fail we're talking about, so I am automatically applying a pinch of salt and not daring to read the comments (bit too stressed today for that). That said, it wouldn't surprise me at all if this happens to some degree. I haven't got far with my weight loss journey yet, but I've already experienced how oddly, even nastily, people can respond when you tell them that you're trying to lose weight. I find the suggestion that men react positively to stories of weight loss to be rather creepy, though I can't quite put my finger on why. Granted, it may have been all of two men who responded like this, but it sounds predatory to me, as if the man were sizing the woman up for vulnerability.
05-30-2011, 11:52 AM
That isn't something that specifically affects weight loss. Women will use cruel non-physically-violent ways to express their negative feelings, while men use physical violence more often when something bothers them.
As for women judging weight loss history... we judge everything like that.
"Oh she has so many admirers"/"she surely must have an std"
"What a nice dress"/"If it only weren't for your body ruining it"
"That make-up really suits you"/"Like thick white paint suits a dirty wall"
"Your friend is really nice"/" for your low standarts"
"You deserve it"/"because you deserve only that little"
"I have fun going out with you"/"because you're so lowly/ugly/stupid that it makes me look good"
I could go on forever. Most female human beings will secretly feel or express something this nasty, because frankly we aren't perfect incarnations of goodness and serenity. The deal is to get over our biological competitive urges and learn to appreciate as much as possible the gift of another person's company.
05-30-2011, 04:07 PM
I don't openly talk about my weight loss with people who don't know me...in fact even with people who know me I'd rather not talk about it. I haven't had any "in your face" experiences but I think it's just common sense that you'll be judged if it is known that you were once overweight, given that people judge the overweight in general. I'd almost rather move somewhere where no one knows me and I can just have people assume I've always been a healthy weight. Of course that's not pratical since I have a family and roots, but sometimes I daydream!
05-30-2011, 04:51 PM
I found the article interesting, and it gave me a little bit to think about. Especially thinking about some places like 3FC where we come together to GIVE our support and congratulations for losing weight and being healthier. Maybe the difference is that we're all after similar goals and so one person achieving the goal is proof that it can be done. Maybe the difference is that we know what the struggle is like. Hmm.
Anyway, I always try my hardest to avoid any "reader comments", because people say the most nonsensical crap.
There's a Greater Internet #@%$&! Theory. (Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total #@%$&!) And it fits the bill every time for people saying things online that are crude and dumb and tactless. ESPECIALLY after news articles where they're urged to give their opinions.
05-30-2011, 05:57 PM
I'm of the mind that if a person doesn't like me because I succeeded at something, I cut them out of my life all together. If it's a co-worker, I ignore them. That doesn't mean that I have to go on about it, but usually others bring it up more than I would. Anyway, most of my friends are guys and they've been really supportive.
06-02-2011, 01:15 AM
Very interesting article, thanks for the read. Sadly I definitely have some of these people in my life.
06-02-2011, 09:50 PM
LOL, they closed the comments!
Even though this is from the Daily Fail I think there's some truth to it (and some of the comments as well). Some people measure their success in terms of someone else's failure, and when you succeed they get jealous and want to you fail because they feel like it's taking something away from them.
These individuals are best avoided.
06-03-2011, 03:28 PM
I have had some interesting reactions to my weight loss from other women. It has even included women at the gym. I was gone from the gym for a few months at the end of last year, so most of the women that see me now have only seen my progress since January. I have lost 21 pounds in that time. When they ask what I've lost I tell them the 21 since January and they are all "yay!" and then I tell them the 71 in all and they get a little funny and distance themselves. This is not true of all of them, but it is for many and it seems to especially be the ones who have a moderate amount to lose themselves and are having trouble doing it. The ladies who have always been slim and the ladies with lots still to lose aren't as likely to act that way. I find it interesting.