General chatter - What's the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?

Suzanne 3FC
05-27-2011, 05:42 PM
I'm sure we've done this before, but I never get tired of laughing at you :devil:

So let's have it. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you or that you've done?

05-27-2011, 05:51 PM
Ok, I can start this thread off with a bang. :)

I was a judge's assistant for many years. Every morning when proceedings would commence, we'd make a grand entrance into the courtroom while the bailiff did his "All rise!" routine. This took a few seconds, so while I was standing, I would take the time to shuffle through my paperwork and make sure I was ready to start. Then the bailiff would finish up his opening and say, "Please be seated and come to order," and the judge would start calling cases.

On this morning, I went to be seated as usual. As I bent to sit, I felt my buttocks just... brush... the edge of the chair. There was no way to regain my balance as I crashed in a crumpled heap onto the floor, the edge of the chair slipping away.

Naturally this caused a commotion in the crowded courtroom. But to make matters worse, I turned my head in time to see my bailiff don a horrified expression, then rush over and start hauling at me under the arms in an attempt to pull me to my feet. I was laughing so hard I couldn't help myself in any way, and he was smaller than me -- which was a recipe for complete failure.

I finally waved him off and managed to haul myself up to my desk and chair. The judge's expression looked like he would have preferred I just sink through the floor, leaving no ripples behind.

It was embarrassing.

05-27-2011, 07:32 PM
oh man where do i start? the time i asked a caller to "please hold me" instead of "please hold for me"? the time i told someone i was distracted by a pair of hideous boots and she said "oh i have those boots" ....

no i have two really good ones. When i was growing up we were pretty poor. i was in the first grade and it was PE and i was wearing this hme made wrap around skirt that clasped with SNAPS. like- you know- DOLL CLOTHES! Well a nice gust of wind came through the playground and took my skirt with it!! across the playground. while i stood there in my underpants and everyone including the teacher was laughing.

and then there's the great face plant of 08. I got off the bus to go to work, had about a 4 block walk, and i immediately tripped on my pants and fell, as i landed - scraping my hands and knees... my backback slammed into the back of my head, head into the cement and i got my first bloody nose ever! i didn't know what to do... so i'm standing on the corner of the street crying and bleeding everywhere and i walked half way to work when a coworker picked me up. that was a bad day.

05-27-2011, 09:13 PM
My husband and I were invited to a party, and I hardly knew the hostess, let alone anyone else. The room was dimly lit. I went over to a table set with food, and put my hand into a shallow bowl that I thought was Chex mix. It was a mushroom and veggie quiche :o

I tried to recover from that, and reached for a bowl that I thought was filled with Cheddar cheese squares. They were butter pats :devil: We left soon afterward :rofl:

Dog Rescue Mama
05-27-2011, 09:56 PM
I'm a dog trainer by profession. I was in a large family class for puppies full of kids and their parents. One parent had a question during the first day class. The man asked in a completely serious voice why his dog licked himself all the time. Of course he was concerned the dog possibly had a medical issue. Of course without thinking first I blurted out "because he can". I immediately turned blush red and started saying sorry frantically because I had just accidentally made a sexual joke to a bunch of strangers of mixed age. Of course the adults all burst into laughter and all the kids looked around wondering what was so funny.

05-27-2011, 11:53 PM
Mine is from back when I was in school, in gym class (of all places, I obviously didn't learn much from gym class).

It was the beginning of the class and our gym teachers always had us do basics at the beginning like stretches, sit ups, push ups, etc. We got to the point of doing the sit ups and all was quiet as us students were starting to do them and all of a sudden, let's just say I got a little, uhm how to put this nicely.. gassy. Needless to say, in the midst of situps, I couldn't hold it in and the loud sound that followed was amplified by the quietness of the room, the hardwood gym floors we were on and the echoing nature of the large gym room we were in. Needless to say that sound was followed by roars of laughter (and me being completely embarrassed, not to mention I was right next to the boy I had a crush on at the time). Can't believe I just put this out into the world for all to read. :lol:

05-28-2011, 12:21 AM
In 9th grade, during science class, I was reading out loud, and instead of saying organisms I said orgasms.


There is prob many more, but this one does stick out.

05-28-2011, 12:32 AM
LOL, BornToFly, that reminds me of a friend I have whose mother, when asked by her sons to order chicken fajitas in the drive-through at Jack-In-The-box, ordered chicken vaginas instead. Needless to say, her sons nearly died of embarrassment!!!

05-28-2011, 01:01 AM
I LOL just at the topic title. Those are all some really good stories.

Mine? There's many. Short one first. I, too, had a gas moment. It was 3 days before I gave birth to my 1st child. I was teaching phy ed. I was sitting on the hardwood floor trying to finish grades before I gave birth and called a student over to me. While he was walking towards me, out of nowhere, I farted. Yeah. On the hardwood. It amplifies. Luckily, the other students were playing basketball and he either did not hear it or respectfully chose not to acknowledge it. haha!

The long story one is, I was in Vegas for a girls weekened. We sat poolside as we watched a beautiful woman take the attention of the entire population as she walked into the pool, took a dip, did a slow motion Bo Derek-type hair and water fling....with her boob totally exposed. She did not know how much of a show she was putting on. We all got a good laugh. She noticed why. She literally ran back to her chair.

So then I get up, in my bikini, and go to the bathroom. I have to walk past the crowd of sunbathers, past a bar, past another pool of sunbathers, past another bar and yet another pool. I pee. Fine, right?

I walked all the way back and did not know that there was a HUGE remnant of protective toilet seat cover stuck to my wet arse.

I now was... the pool-boob lady.

I unintentionally one-upped her most embarrassing moment.

At least I was an example of good hygeine. At least, that's what I tell myself.

05-28-2011, 11:14 AM
I can think of two occasions that stand out. Incidentally, both involve my bosses.

The first happened when I was just starting to lose weight. My pants were starting to feel looser but I thought I was still too fat for a belt. Anyway, it was morning and my boss and I were setting up our stand for the farmer's market. This involved going back and forth across the street to where our stand was and where the truck was parked. So I'm carrying a case full of flowers across the street when I realize that my pants have slid off. It was horrible. There were cars being held back because I had to pull my stupid pants up. It was embarrassing for me but I actually felt even worse for the innocent bystanders who had to witness that.

The other happened when I was working at a restaurant. There were some salad bowls that needed to go on a really high shelf that I was struggling to reach even with my trusty stepping ladder. As I'm reaching to try to get the bowl to fit properly, I fall off the stepping ladder and drop all the stuff I was carrying right onto the line. The worst part? The chef was right there and saw everything.

05-28-2011, 01:58 PM
I can think of two occasions that stand out. Incidentally, both involve my bosses.

The first happened when I was just starting to lose weight. My pants were starting to feel looser but I thought I was still too fat for a belt. Anyway, it was morning and my boss and I were setting up our stand for the farmer's market. This involved going back and forth across the street to where our stand was and where the truck was parked. So I'm carrying a case full of flowers across the street when I realize that my pants have slid off. It was horrible. There were cars being held back because I had to pull my stupid pants up. It was embarrassing for me but I actually felt even worse for the innocent bystanders who had to witness that.


Hey. Your pants slid off because of your weight loss. That should go on the brag board! LOL

05-28-2011, 02:43 PM
At my mom's house we had always noticed what seemed to be a sinkhole forming in our side yard... We always avoided it with the lawn mower and stayed clear with anything else heavy, but had never had a problem walking over it. Well one day I was outside "alone" and walking through the yard with my ipod in and humming along when I stepped onto the hole and my right leg proceded to go into the ground up to my hip! I managed to catch myself with my left leg I was in such shock that I just sat there for a minute. When I looked up not one, not two, but 3 of my neighbors were outside and had witnessed everything.. So here I am laying on the ground with my leg in a hole and they're all just staring at me.. (they didn't like me much..) so I had to get up and do the walk of shame into the house while they just wastched embarrasing...

05-29-2011, 11:59 AM
Back when I was in college, I waited tables at a Chi-Chi's Mexican restaurant in Cary, NC (in the old Waverly Place shopping center for any of you Raleigh chicks!).

It was pretty much rural NC and it was the early 90s. I was pretty sheltered but also considered myself open minded. It was mid afternoon and a lesbian couple came in the restaurant, sat in my section. Now, this is the early 90s and I think these were the first gay folks I had ever seen up close (I mean, out gay folks). And they were doing very very minor PDA but obviously a couple. And I'm thinking in my head "be cool, be cool" because you know, I was perfectly okay with it but it was NEW to me.

When I bring the chips and salsa out, they did that very very common Chi-Chi's couple thing where they make a big deal out of who gets the hot sauce and who gets the mild sauce. So, I bring out a refill basket of chips/salsa and when I'm putting the salsa down I MEANT to say "I forget who likes what" but what I ACTUALLY said was "I forget who likes who."

When I type it out, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I was absolutely mortified.

05-29-2011, 02:00 PM
Two things comes to mind for me, as well. Both during middle school years... ahhh middle school... never ceases to be an endless amount of lingering torment.

1) I used to carrying around a little backpack purse with various pins on it. A couple of kids in one of the classes asked if they could look at the pins. I thought nothing of handing the bag over for them to check out. Oh how na´ve and trusting I was... They hand back the bag after a few and thank me. Two class periods later we're walking towards a different room and one of them runs up to me and hands me a maxi pad saying "This is yours." I was confused. I looked in my bag and it turns out they had rummaged through all of my things, taken the most personal of items and after playing with them (one of the boys evidently opened the pad and pretended to be on his period and "used" it) decided to return them to my face. Boy was I embarrassed. Mmm... makes me all warm and fuzzy just remembering.

2) This one's a little lighter-hearted. The next year the bell rang and the halls were busy with people. I was waiting inside a classroom behind my friend to make my way out into the hall and towards a different class. She was being slow, and for some reason I was just antsy to get moving. She finally steps out and I find out the reason she was waiting... a boy was moving some large musical equipment in front of the door and I "gracefully" trip over it, spin around in the air and land flat on my ***... books and papers everywhere. Everyone in the entire grade is out in the hall changing classes and gets a very grand view of my fall, and the silence after the huge THUD was particularly amazing. Thank goodness I immediately start laughing and pick up my things heading to the other class. I try not to be so anxious to leave a room now. :lol:

05-29-2011, 03:15 PM
Oh boy-I still remember the day that I got my first for real period and bled all over my khaki pants in math class unknowingly. I left the classroom last, and went to the student service's center for different pants-not many people saw me and thank goodness I had a jacket to tie round my waist to cover up the mishap on the very long walk to get new pants. I was so embarrassed.

05-29-2011, 04:13 PM
I'm a HUGE klutz, but when I am clumsy I usually end up getting hurt. Here are some examples:

sacal96, I have a similar story. This has happened twice btw. The first time, I was standing on my parents' back porch. It was my mother, cousin, dog, and me. While talking, I attempted to walk forward, forgetting that the boards in the porch are a bit weak from time and weather. Anyway, at the same time the dog and I step on the same board, and there is a horrible crack. The dog is quick and moves away before he can go through the porch, but I'm not as lucky. So, I go through up to my knee and catch myself before I can go any further. Nobody laughed. My mother and cousin were both concerned, but I felt like the fattest thing in the universe, oh, and I also wore the ugliest, largest bruise on my leg. That happened another time when it was just my mother and I on the porch.

Another time, I was testing out my mother's treadmill she had purchased from her mother for $50. I guess I was leaning too much on the handlebars, because they gave away, and sent me tumbling to the floor. I bruised my wrist.

Here's the most recent. It happened about two or three months ago. It was my mother, husband, brother, and I. We had just got to church, and I was getting out of the backseat of my father's mustang. The driver's seat-belt is extremely baggy. I should have been paying more attention, but I wasn't, and somehow the seat-belt caught my ankle and tripped me as I got out of the car. So, I hit the ground really hard, completely dumbfounded. It happened so fast, I didn't even feel the seat-belt on my leg. But I sure did feel the pain. So, I limp to the church restroom, and lift up my dress to discover my leg is soaked with blood. I guess the wind pushed my dress aside when I fell, and I hit the large gravel rocks in the parking-lot. it completely tore my knee up, and the bleeding didn't stop for a while. I kept having to go back and forth to the restroom during church to wipe the blood away.

05-29-2011, 04:49 PM
In 9th grade, during science class, I was reading out loud, and instead of saying organisms I said orgasms.


There is prob many more, but this one does stick out.

This reminds me of 5th grade - I was giving a speech about something and tried to say tentacles. It came out testicles. I still avoid saying tentacles, because I'm terrified I'll slip and embarrass myself again:o:D:dizzy:.

05-29-2011, 06:14 PM
haha the stories of misspoken words remind me of two that were hilarious- but not mine.

Once my husbands grandma- little old blue hair catholic church going lady - called to order a pizza and asked for Cesarean instead of sicilian. The person taking her order had to ask her twice and she got mad.

The other one is with my husbands family too. For some reason his uncle cannot say the popular Dairy Queen treat the correct way and it always comes out of his mouth "penis buster parfait" so we're at the drive through and about to order and he can't bring himself to say anything and starts laughing hysterically and my husband has to lean over him to make our order for the Peanut Buster Parfait! hahaha.

05-30-2011, 02:29 AM
These made me giggle. My most embarrassing moment is so cringeworthy that I actually blocked it out of my memory.

When I first arrived in Japan I went to a bad welcome party for new teachers. I drank too much and acted like a complete idiot, which is fine, but it went to whole new levels. I started harassing this guy at a bar, acting like a belligerent jerk, generally just being awful. He finally said "that's enough from you" and dumped his drink on my head. I went home not five minutes later, balloon popped.

I will never, ever forget the shame and humiliation. It's so much worse when the incident is completely preventable - and 100% your fault!

05-30-2011, 02:41 AM
Walking out of the ladies room AT WORK with a toilet liner attached to the back of my pants......... and having a male co-worker who I was manager of telling me it was there. Thats all I'm going to say about that one!

05-30-2011, 09:39 AM

I think my family embarrasses me much more
than I could ever embarrass myself. :lol:

05-30-2011, 09:59 AM
I was at Ben & Jerry's for free cone day with my kids several weeks ago (I resisted a free cone for myself!), and some of my kids wanted the clusterfluff ice cream. When I went to place the order I said clusterf*ck instead of clusterfluff. I'm sure I'm not the first one, and I wonder if that's how the ice cream got its name in the first place.

05-30-2011, 11:11 AM
I actually had a rather embarrassing verbal gaffe at Sears yesterday.

My husband and I were looking for new washer dryers and we were discussing the pros/cons of getting the matching pedestals with the salesmen. Basically, they are just drawers that lift the washer/dryer off the ground to a more comfortable height (so you don't have to bend over and reach in to get the clothes) AND they were 229.00 EACH.

So, I said something like, "$500.00? I'd bend over for $500.00!"

Silence, both my husband and the salesman were fighting not to laugh.

05-30-2011, 05:09 PM
hahaha glory i say stuff like that all the time... but half the time i mean it to sound the way it came out. hahaha that totally made my day though. :)

i once made a comment to my boss about her and her bosses relationship involving a lot of "the fist and the finger" as in- shaking their fists at each other and giving each other the finger... but that was NOT how she took it. it has become a regular joke in my dept now. i was horrified because for once i was not trying to be filthy.

05-31-2011, 02:16 AM
I just remembered another one.... I was talking to a male co worker on the phone and when we were hanging up I said "love you, bye"............... OMG I ALMOST DIED! hahahaha

06-01-2011, 06:38 PM
I embarrass very, very easily and my mind is flooded with stories. It doesn't take much to make me turn red and burst into tears, I am overtly cautious whilst out in public to avoid anything that could make me slip up...

Once, however, I had lost my first 15lbs and my work pants weren't fitting well anymore. I had put my phone in the back pocket of the pants and went down the cafeteria to grab lunch. On my way back through the halls, cell phone weighing down my pants, arms full of items - my pants hit the floor. At work. In front of a TON of people. I was *horrified*.

I've missed the chair a few times went sitting down (especially chairs on wheels!) and fallen. I also trip walking off of curbs and will face plant just about anywhere.

Once, I was very young, and was homeschooled growing up so I didn't have a gauge on when "normal" people graduated highschool. I just knew that I got my diploma when I was 15-16 and figured most people did it at 16-17. I was having a conversation with my boss, assistant manager and the head of the department when I said something along the lines of "He was so stupid! I mean, seriously! He was 18 and STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL - obviously he was held back a year or two!!!"... The department head bristled and said "My son is 18 and in highschool and he happens to be quite bright." .... I wanted to crawl under the desk and never come back out.

Also, knowing how easily embarrassed I am, my man thinks its HILARIOUS to play off of this because 'embarrassed' isn't in his vocabulary. A few months ago we were shopping and he slipped a big pack of Depends incontinence panties in my the cart and I didn't notice until we were checking out. I saw it on the check out stand and said "Hey!!! Why did you get those??" and he said very loudly "Its OK, I saw you were out so I thought I'd get you some more DIAPERS. I know you've been drinking a lot of water and the bed got a little wet last night. Is that the right size? Should we get another bag? I know important your Depends are to you!" ..... I was speechless and he pulled it off with a straight face, only started to laugh and apologize when he realized I was gonna kill him later!! LOL

06-01-2011, 08:12 PM
About a year and a half ago I was a substitute teacher and running late for a job at a middle school. I had already lost a fair bit of weight at this time and had to safety pin my pants for them to stay up. As I was running to the school from the parking lot, my safety pin came undone and my pants fell to my knees. Fortunately, everyone was already inside except a few late arrivals who didn't seem to see it. I invested in new pants very shortly after

Around the same time, I had just gotten some new undies which I wore out for a run. They were a satiny and apparently a mistake. They kept sliding down! I'm sure the other runners in the park were wondering what that lump below my a** was.

And the falls....

At University of Queensland we had this beautiful sandstone building. I tripped and slid a solid 4 feet across the smooth surface.

My Freshman year at Georgia State, I was heading back to the dorms via MARTA train. The main station (Five Points) has a sloped, tile entry way that is VERY slippery when wet. I was carrying my giant portfolio from my drawing class and went for the railing to help me keep a grip down the slope. That railing did nothing for me. I took a step and my left foot slid right out from under me, landing hard on my right knee. It was rush hour and EVERYONE was looking at me. I got up quickly and took another step, left foot slid out from under me again! Landed hard on my right knee AGAIN. Now people are rushing over to me. I got up quickly assuring the dozens of people coming to my aid that I was fine. A few minute later my friend gets there and I tell her what happened and she responds "oh you're the one they were talking about!"

As a lifeguard, I fell out of the stand 3 times.

The first time I completely missed the step and got a good swing going on the way down, landing on my side. My boss came out of his office to make sure I was okay. I quickly assured him I was fine and he hurried into the bathroom. He later told me that he went in the bathroom so as not to laugh in my face.

The second time I had just finished talking to a really cute guy. I was getting out of the stand as he walked away and my new flops were a little slippery. He had to find it odd when he turned around and saw me sitting cross legged on the floor, I was just in the stand a second ago! My boss didn't see it this time, but he did laugh in my face when I told him about it later.

The third time made me the new record holder at my gym for falling out of the stand.

06-01-2011, 08:23 PM
clusterfluff ice cream.

OMG, why would they call it that?! They were really just asking for it there.