Alternachicks - Return of the LGBT Chicks...




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ArsenicAlyss
05-24-2011, 01:47 PM
Apparently the first thread of this kind was closed, though I can't tell why, there don't appear to be any inflammatory posts on there...so I'm starting another one! BWAHAHA!

....Yes, I assure you that I'm sane...:carrot:

Anyway, I'm a proud pansexual and/or queer chick residing in Southern California, where it seems like everyone in the LGBT community is either a thin high femme, a skinny twinkish gay boy, or a ripped muscle man type. Some diversity, but always thin, and often rude or outright nasty to not-so-thin tomboyish queer punx like me. : /

I know you all are out there somewhere... ; )

xoxo
Alyss


Initiative
05-26-2011, 06:02 PM
Here! :P I have a wonderful wifey and i have more curves than being anywhere near washboard muscles. I am however more broad and larger then most women I meet. I have to wear larger shirts not because of my tummy really, mostly because of my shoulders and rib cage being too big for my "size". I like wearing boy clothes, but I love being girly also. I absolutely love having my hair short and spikey but for the last year I've actually grown it to a nice long length. I'm not any kind of stereo type because I alternate all the time. I'm always in a different mood and my lifestyle follows. :P

mandalinn82
05-26-2011, 06:32 PM
It looks like it was closed for being ancient (sometimes we'll close threads if no one has posted in them for a long time because people bringing up very old threads can mean old information, answering questions to original posters who have since moved on, etc), not for any kind of wrongdoing.

Happily married gay woman here from CA (we got in the pre-prop-8 window).


Skyra
05-30-2011, 11:42 AM
LGBT chick here! From Minneapolis. :wave:

UknwULikeThat
05-31-2011, 12:36 AM
Gay Chick here from Oregon, also very new to the website. I am not high femme, nor do I dress like a boi... Im very much down the middle. I have some pounds to lose and be healthy!

Esofia
05-31-2011, 12:49 PM
Bisexual woman living happily with a bisexual man here. I thought the old LGBT thread was great, though I was a bit taken aback by the "I'm bi and my husband should therefore feel honoured to have me" statements, which didn't really make sense to me. The main difference I've noticed with being with another bisexual is a) I don't get any flak about my sexual orientation (of course, the relationships in which I did get flak were not good ones), and b) equal opportunity ogling of actors on TV, we can tease each other about our taste in men or one of us will say, "What did they say? I was distracted by the cleavage," and the other will reply, "No idea, so was I!"

Out of curiosity, are there any poly folks here? I'm monogamous myself but I have a few friends living happily in triads and so forth.

UknwULikeThat
05-31-2011, 08:32 PM
Esofia, I think its great you and your husband are both bi and can relate to what each other say and feel! I have never known a bi girl thats husband understood that.

Esofia
06-01-2011, 12:08 PM
Seriously? People get married with that sort of gap? Anyway, thanks, and I've known a few other bisexual women with non-bi partners who were absolutely fine about it. (Well, I think one partner in question is mostly straight rather than entirely, but then that's a polyamorous group anyway so you'd expect them to be sensible about such matters.) We're not actually married, I remain properly alternative in that fashion, the institution of marriage has never appealed to me personally. By the way, I absolutely roared with laughter when someone on a thread in this forum asked what DH meant, and said that Urban Dictionary was bringing up "dickhead" but it couldn't possibly be that!

But yes, I've found that there's no real reason why sexual orientation should be a thing unless someone has a problem with it. We've both had former partners who were twits about it, and frankly they just needed to grow up (and in one case, possibly come out of the closet). It's really not a particularly interesting factor in our lives, and I was serious when I said that about the main way it impacts us is that we can playfully argue about whether or not Brad Pitt is hot. (He says yes, I say no, and a friend of mine says, "But Brad Pitt is the one the straight boys make an exception for!")

UknwULikeThat
06-01-2011, 02:01 PM
lol thats awesome.... Depends what character Brad is playing... Mr. Smith...or Benjamin Button....

Ekicna
06-01-2011, 02:10 PM
Bisexual woman here married to a heterosexual man. Hello all!

UknwULikeThat
06-01-2011, 07:26 PM
I am actually quite excited i found this site and this thread. For some reason I am more as comfortable talking about issues or things from weight loss to whatever else talking to LGBT people!

triptriptrip
06-01-2011, 10:12 PM
Hello everyone! I am a bisexual woman living with my boyfriend. He is very understanding and kind of likes it because I really get along with his male friends. They don't feel the need to censor themselves around me. It's kind of nice. I've always been interested in both sexes. It was never a taboo thing for me because my parents have gay friends. I went to high school in a very republican area of California and had to be one of the people that paved the way for the younger classes. It was worth it.

fatferretfanatic
06-01-2011, 10:27 PM
Hello, everyone! Great to see this thread! I am a bisexual woman married to an amazing heterosexual man. Seriously, he is amazing-he definitely understands how I feel and accepts me truly, and honestly, it's a lot more fun for both of us that way. We both check out beautiful girls at times, and that is really fun. Our mutual male friends also appreciate my appreciation for beauty, which is also cool. I don't have really many female friends to speak of, though I do have a few, but I rarely discuss it with people I don't absolutely trust IRL, and so my male friends are really the only ones I usually discuss it with besides hubby. Once, I did have someone say to me though after stating I was bisexual and proud of it, that I was married and therefore couldn't be bisexual. They said I'd obviously made my choice-but I don't understand that because I chose the person to be in love with-but that doesn't mean that a married person can only be attracted to one type of sex/gender. Hubby really does understand me and my feelings about people, and I am so glad he has never said anything like that to me. I hate being compartmentalized because of vague assumptions. Anyway, I am so glad to meet you all.

triptriptrip
06-01-2011, 10:38 PM
fatferretfanatic - I really hate when people say that because I have a boyfriend that I can't be bi! It's like saying, "Oh, you're wife is blonde, so you're only attracted to blondes." Just complete nonsense.

fatferretfanatic
06-01-2011, 10:51 PM
It's really ridiculous! My response was, "What about when/if you fall in love? Does that mean that other people in the world cease to exist and that your sexuality gets turned into a stream that is only attracted to that one person and type forever?" I love my husband and we're monogamous (though I definitely am all for poly relationships and think they're fascinating), but that doesn't mean that I find only men attractive. Oh well-some get it and some don't. I wish I could help people to understand but you know, if they don't accept me, they don't have to be around me. :)

mhill0823
06-01-2011, 11:08 PM
Happy lesbian here! Been with my partner for a little over 2 years now:)

gmailjunkie
06-01-2011, 11:24 PM
Brooklyn dyke here. I'm more femme than not but I suspect I'd be higher femme if I were thinner-right now when I attempt femme it comes out matronly. AH well- we shall see what happens

fullofhope
06-01-2011, 11:34 PM
Openly pansexual married to a heterosexual here. Glad to see this thread and all the support. :) Screw people that say you can't be any one thing because of the person you're with? That doesn't even make sense!

Scoot
06-02-2011, 04:31 AM
Brooklyn dyke here. I'm more femme than not but I suspect I'd be higher femme if I were thinner-right now when I attempt femme it comes out matronly. AH well- we shall see what happens

THIS. Gosh, this sums up my entire fashion life. :mad: Especially because I enjoy vintage (40's-style, mostly) dresses, which tend to have much more conservative lines and sleeves. Most of the time, especially with my hair pulled back, I end up feeling like The Trunchbull from the mid-90s Matilda movie, which is certainly not what I'm going for. And most modern, youthful dresses, unfortunately, have empire waists, which make me look decidedly pregnant. No good, either way. I haven't learned how to pull it off, but I refuse to give up on dresses! I can only hope that slimming down will make things at least a little easier.

Bi, no significant other to speak of, also more-femme-than-not, though I certainly have my days when I want nothing to do with anything even remotely girly. :)

doopdoop
06-02-2011, 05:14 PM
Hi there. Lesbian from south Florida :D

Maude23
06-05-2011, 07:36 PM
Hi! Well, I was on the old thread and moved to SF to find my first RN job, when that turned out to be really a bad move, I ended up gaining the weight I'd lost. So, now I'm working in Oregon and back to being healthy.

UknwULikeThat
06-06-2011, 12:07 AM
Wow alot more new people while I was away this weekend. How was everyone's weekend? Anyone do an excersize challenges or cook some good recipes?

indiblue
06-06-2011, 11:42 AM
Straight ally here! Just swinging by to let you know there are a lot on the board who support LGBTQ equality and rights.

carter
06-06-2011, 07:08 PM
Dorky butch lesbian here. :D Getting trimmer gives me more clothing options and lets me try to lean more toward dapper than dorky. Still working on that.

A couple of you mentioned wanting to femme it up but feeling frumpy in your clothes - please let your femme flag fly! Some of the hottest femmes I know are overweight. Please don't think you have to be thin to be beautiful, or that you have to wait until you are thin to be yourself. :D

djs06
06-09-2011, 02:44 PM
Brooklyn dyke here. I'm more femme than not but I suspect I'd be higher femme if I were thinner-right now when I attempt femme it comes out matronly. AH well- we shall see what happens

I feel your pain. I wear a lot of black, and a lot of jeans. I've always been into makeup but the clothes are tough!

Gay chick living in Michigan with my gf of 2 years. :)

UknwULikeThat
06-11-2011, 01:10 AM
So this is quite off topic but I need some advice or words of encouragment.

My entire life I have been overweight...secondly even though I have lost some weight and would like to celebrate that, I am still not to a "healthy weight." My girlfriend who is extremely motivated to get healthy be healthy, who at one time was 60lbs bigger than she currently is, is at a healthy weight, and I don't think she understands that my story is different than her story.

I have never been small than gained weight, I was an over weight kid that always has been over weight. She was a healthy weight, and than gained weight in a different realtionship and we started getting healthy together. However it has been harder for me to lose weight than it has for her. Although she says she understands my struggles, I truly believe that she does not. For I have never known the land of the "healthy" or "skinny" or "inshape" or whatever land you want to call it, I have never been there. She was there, than left, than went back.

So the fact that I am at this weight I currently am is a success, and I understand that but I feel like I am letting her down by not staying as motivated as she is. Of course I have a lot more responsibilities right now in my life than she does and than from when we first started this journey. I have not given up the good fight it has just stalled slowly. (I'm still losing weight but just not at a quick pace like I first did.)

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone can sympathize with me, and or have any advice at getting her to understand how I'm feeling. ::sigh:: I have a few other things I need to get off my chest about my weight right now but I will save that for another day. If anything to anyone that reads this....thanks for listening to me. I needed it.

djs06
06-11-2011, 11:16 AM
UKnw.. I think everyone can relate on some level. We all want to be the best we can be for our partners, and if we see them being more successful or more motivated than us, it can be challenging. Just keep in mind that just like your weight experiences are different from your girlfriend's, the way you motivate and follow through are different as well. IT doesn't mean they're better or worse, just not the same. Also keep in mind that just because you're taking longer to get to your goal, it doesn't mean that your success is "worse" than hers. You're doing what you can, when you can, and like you said, it's wonderful that you've gotten this far!

triptriptrip
06-11-2011, 06:38 PM
Every person I've ever dated has been pretty fit. My last boyfriend was bulking up and it made me feel terrible that I couldn't even drop some weight. My current boyfriend is a bit tubby, but I know that he could drop weight much faster than I ever could. I've always been big, so I don't know what it's like to be smaller. Sometimes, I'm a bit happy that he's gained weight while with me. It makes me feel less enormous. I honestly think that he doesn't lose weight because it would make me feel bad. He can find the motivation when I can't.

UknwULikeThat - A lot of people have this issue. You're not alone. Don't measure your success against those of others, especially your significant other. You'll get there, just not as fast as her. But you will get there. Let her success motivate you to keep going. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and your health is so much more important than the pounds that you drop.

shanara
06-12-2011, 03:04 PM
Glad to see this post back up!

UknwULikeThat
06-12-2011, 05:37 PM
Thanks for the thoughts guys...its really appreciated.

Lex
06-15-2011, 11:03 PM
I think that I fall somewhere between bisexual and lesbian, so I've been identifying as queer. I'm engaged to a man, but we're polyamorous and I have no interest in other men, just women... so "queer" it is!

kaycaroline
06-19-2011, 06:02 PM
Bisexual female here. : )
I'm glad to see a section of this community for LGBT.

Spooky
06-19-2011, 06:24 PM
Happily married queer grrrl from MD. Hello, all!

I've also never been a normal weight. I have been both bigger and smaller than I am now but have never been in a normal weight range as an adult. It's an interesting journey and I sometimes wonder what I will look like at a healthy weight. (Normal sizes look impossibly small!)

UknwULikeThat
06-20-2011, 07:49 PM
Spooky, I can't even Imagine what a normal weight is for myself...I have no idea what I would look like...But one day I will see it!

djs06
06-21-2011, 09:48 AM
Yeah, I hear you guys. I haven't been under 200 since I was 14-15, and that was only briefly!!

triptriptrip
06-23-2011, 11:59 PM
I have no idea what a normal weight would look like on me. I've been big since I was 11 so it's just become normal for me. The lowest I remember being was 145 when I was 15 but I was still a size 13. I know that I have unusually large hips, but that's just insane.

Jesterlove17
06-24-2011, 02:12 AM
LGBT chick here! From Minneapolis. :wave:

What's up girl Me too! I'm bisexual although tied down with a boyf at the moment. It sucks too because he is a homophobe and southern religious and thinks gay people are going to ****, and after I told him "I'm bi am I going to ****" he was like "no I 'fixed' that"....I went OFF I was like "motha****a you can't FIX nothin I come as I am and there's nothing BROKEN about queer people!"

People are so obnoxious sometimes even loved ones.

On a positive note Twin Cities Pride is coming...well, Pride is coming for everyone!!

sarrahm
06-24-2011, 09:51 AM
gay female from Ohio here.

I got extremly sick and gained about 60 pounds due to the resulting inactivity and my love of ice cream. I had fun eating my way into this mess, now I have to work out to get out of it.

djs06
06-24-2011, 10:01 AM
gay female from Ohio here.

I got extremly sick and gained about 60 pounds due to the resulting inactivity and my love of ice cream. I had fun eating my way into this mess, now I have to work out to get out of it.

Hey Sarrah! Where in Ohio? My gf is from Toledo (I'm from the east coast, moved here to be with her) and we live in Michigan ("Go blue" territory) :)

BerkshireGrl
06-25-2011, 06:24 PM
Bisexual here! :wave:

I have dated men and 1 woman (3 years of hooo-aaa!), now exploring a possible long-distance relationship with a man on the other side of the country. Going out there in July for my 40th birthday, can't wait! :cloud9:

AZ Sunrises
06-26-2011, 11:48 AM
Straight ally here! Just swinging by to let you know there are a lot on the board who support LGBTQ equality and rights.

Ditto that. :) I'm a hag to several wonderful men.

sarrahm
06-26-2011, 01:35 PM
Hey Sarrah! Where in Ohio? My gf is from Toledo (I'm from the east coast, moved here to be with her) and we live in Michigan ("Go blue" territory) :)

I live about an hour south of Cleveland on a farm. I moved here from AZ about 9 years ago.

Spooky
06-26-2011, 01:44 PM
Happy Pride, y'all! And woohooo to marriage equality in NY! :val2: :bravo:

Spending the weekend alone. The wife went to visit her grandparents in WV and I didn't tag along because I have strep and just started on antibiotics. Didn't want to get anyone sick. It's probably best that I did because the Augmentin has been kicking my ***.

I did get some knitting done, though. ;)

SpangleMagnet
06-26-2011, 07:47 PM
Hey lovely chickies!

Queer chick from the UK saying hello :D Currently living with my boyfriend, but that's going to change next year when I move back into student digs for my post-grad D:

Ellie Hastings
06-26-2011, 09:17 PM
I just wanna add my congrats re the marriage in NY to the community. I guess it's true what they say about the moon and New York City!

Okay, bad joke I know, but still I'm happy for the LBGT commnity! :D

Ellie

Thousandsunny
07-04-2011, 08:37 PM
Sup everyone!
Bi girl here. I'll date whoever catches my fancy, so I can't really say "Oh yeah, more this than that." Maybe I identify more as Pansexual? Eh, who knows. Whatever works! I figure whoever you're attracted to is who you're attracted to. Can't change it so I just roll with it. Just checking in to say hey!

TheManekiNeko
07-12-2011, 08:33 PM
Hi everybody

I'm a gay girl from London, seems that most people on the LGBT thread are from usa.

UrthWurm
07-12-2011, 09:59 PM
Hey everyone! Bi chick here happily committed to my FTM Transgender BF of 3 years (plus those additional 3 years of friendship)! ;) Glad to see another LGBT thread opening up! On a related note, we went to pride for the first time this year! It was just a small gathering at the farmer's market in our city, nothing big. Next year I want to go to the pride parade in Portland. I hear it's insane!! :celebrate:

InsideMe
07-14-2011, 03:12 PM
Hello hello! Fellow dyke here :) Glad to see this thread!

InsideMe
07-14-2011, 03:18 PM
Hi everybody

I'm a gay girl from London, seems that most people on the LGBT thread are from usa.

London UK or London Ontario Canada?? Haha I had to ask!

gmailjunkie
07-14-2011, 03:44 PM
I tend not to think of a lot of issues surrounding my weight loss as being exclusivley gay issues but here is one that definitly counts for me....One of my goals is to be hot enough that my family doesn't think that the only reason that I am gay is because I can't get a man. I typically don't care very much what they think and they are generally supportive (though they only refer to my girfriend of 3 years as my "friend") but I know that some of them think I'm settling because I'm not most men's definition of attractive.

The weird thing is that if my girlfriend were a man, she'd be better,at least on paper, than 99 percent of the men my cousin's have brought home or married. She comes from a good family, has a masters degree and a good job (not just a professional student), she's great with money, good to my mother, adores me and has no what they would call "bad habits" (ie. Doesn't drink too much, cheat or beat on me). If she were a he, I would be thought to have gotten a "catch", especially because I'm so overweight.

Anyone else ever feel the same?

TheManekiNeko
07-14-2011, 07:29 PM
London UK or London Ontario Canada?? Haha I had to ask!

London UK.

Didn't know there was a London in Canada too. Shows how much I know.

Esofia
07-15-2011, 06:55 AM
I was raised in London, though I fled for Scotland at 18 and have stayed here ever since.

Random question: you know how bisexuals will sometimes say "I'm not interested in the person's gender/what's between their legs, I fall in love with their personality"? I've said it myself in the past, usually when having to justify myself to someone who is being unpleasant about bisexuality. It was pointed out on the previous LGBT thread that this is actually not a very nice thing to say, because it's basically a put-down of everyone who's not bisexual. Can anyone think of a way of getting across that general point without being unpleasant about it? The world being what it is, I doubt there's a bisexual around who doesn't have to justify their sexual orientation from time to time, and often we have to painstakingly explain that no, bisexuals are not confused or more likely to cheat or "trying to have their cake and eat it", and that bisexuality is not the same as non-monogamy. (At which point I often end up also explaining the basics of polyamory to them, and they can look even more shocked that there are people out there who are in faithful, balanced non-dyadic relationships.)

djs06
07-15-2011, 11:05 AM
I tend not to think of a lot of issues surrounding my weight loss as being exclusivley gay issues but here is one that definitly counts for me....One of my goals is to be hot enough that my family doesn't think that the only reason that I am gay is because I can't get a man. I typically don't care very much what they think and they are generally supportive (though they only refer to my girfriend of 3 years as my "friend") but I know that some of them think I'm settling because I'm not most men's definition of attractive.



Yep, I definitely know what you mean. No one has actually ever come out and said it to me, but I do feel like it's what people think- especially since I dated guys when I was smaller (except it was because I was young, not because I was average weight).

And I had to laugh because my parents call my girlfriend my "friend" also. They have progressed from calling her "your.... [pregnant pause]... friend" to "your friend," or usually her name. It's funny because they are pretty accepting overall and I have never had major problems with them about my orientation, so this seems kind of outlandish for them.

Three years should probably be a turning point for your family and your "legitimacy" as a couple. Neither of you are going anywhere, obviously, and there are plenty of straight people who get married far before their third anniversary!

djs06
07-15-2011, 11:15 AM
Random question: you know how bisexuals will sometimes say "I'm not interested in the person's gender/what's between their legs, I fall in love with their personality"? I've said it myself in the past, usually when having to justify myself to someone who is being unpleasant about bisexuality. It was pointed out on the previous LGBT thread that this is actually not a very nice thing to say, because it's basically a put-down of everyone who's not bisexual. Can anyone think of a way of getting across that general point without being unpleasant about it? The world being what it is, I doubt there's a bisexual around who doesn't have to justify their sexual orientation from time to time, and often we have to painstakingly explain that no, bisexuals are not confused or more likely to cheat or "trying to have their cake and eat it", and that bisexuality is not the same as non-monogamy. (At which point I often end up also explaining the basics of polyamory to them, and they can look even more shocked that there are people out there who are in faithful, balanced non-dyadic relationships.)


Honestly, I don't have a problem with it. (Although I wouldn't personally choose to frame it in a way that causes people to think deeply about genitals, i.e. "what's between their legs" :lol: ) Although I consider myself a lesbian, it doesn't mean that I don't fall in love with the *person,* it's just that the person always happens to be female. I wouldn't not in a relationship with someone BECAUSE they were male, I wouldn't (at this point in my life, though I have in the past) be in a relationship with someone I did not have love-feelings for- and that, in my experience, precludes men.

So, no problems with it here.

xxkaleidoscopic
07-16-2011, 04:22 AM
Hey everyone! Bisexual (pan?) girl from Ohio. The first person I actually came out to (besides myself!) was my boyfriend, in December, and he is totally accepting of it, which is awesome. :) Glad to meet some other LGBT girls here!

philana
07-16-2011, 03:09 PM
Well, guess I'll name myself on here. Haha. I usually avoid the labels - and with this being a mostly American-forum and my own bias towards Americans I don't know what to think of this thread ;)

Lesbian girl here! From The Netherlands! It's been a smooth ride for me, nobody ever cares that I am gay. Except for guys sometimes - but they just need to get over themselves. lol.

Esofia
07-16-2011, 04:11 PM
And with a fabulous lesbian avatar to boot! Although she was being bi in the last episode, now I think of it. That woman manages to wear the most ridiculous outfits and still look hotter than a very hot thing.

I was once at a student party where a guy managed to come out with the "ooh, you're a lesbian , I should chat you up then" stereotype [I]and the "he's gay? Oh no! Back against the wall, quick!" stereotype in the space of five minutes. How he hadn't noticed that the host of the party was gay was beyond all of us, though: flamingly obvious, regularly went to the uni LGBT society, was now president of the uni LGBT society, and had its entire committee sitting chatting on his bedroom floor. Ah, student years were such fun.

mya
07-17-2011, 07:46 PM
Hey girls, bisexual girl from Brazil here.

gmailjunkie: I know what you mean! People can be so stupid sometimes. A while ago a few women who worked with me were chating and one of them mentioned that her niece was gay. She then said something like "we don't understand why, it's such a shame, she's so pretty". I overheard it and I was sooo mad! I didn't say anything because if I did things would get ugly!
The funny thing is that one of the reasons I want to lose weight is to be able to meet a nice girl and date her. I find it much easier to meet men then women who are interested in me. I end up dating men 80% of the time, but I'm equaly atracted to both.

Esofia: I think we are interested in 'what's between their legs' whenever it's romantic love, even though we like both genders. When we are not interested in that, it's friendship love or family love. That's the kind of love gay and straight people can have for any gender too.
I agree, philana's avatar is very, very hot. I can never decide which one is the hottest, her or Eric.

InsideMe
07-18-2011, 02:11 PM
Hee hee Philina's avatar caught my eye too lol

There was a post here about family, being gay and being overweight. For me my family has never been supportive, so when I came out big surprise they weren't supportive! LOL I've finally come to a place to do it for me and they can make up their own conclusions as to why I'm gay, or overweight, blah blah blah, just not worth my time and energy anymore.

ETA: But yeah people don't think I'm gay cause I'm "femme" it's like the stereotype is butch is what a lesbian is suppose to look like....I wish people would get over what they "think" they know and maybe go to Pride or something and see what it's really like!

philana
07-18-2011, 02:21 PM
WHAT did they do to Pam's face this episode? I'm going bonkers here.


(this seemed the best thread to post this for now.. lol)

Esofia
07-19-2011, 05:07 AM
InsideMe - oh yes, that ludicrous notion that you can only be attracted to your own gender if you fulfil certain stylistic expectations. I've always had long hair and a Bosom, and in my student days often wandered around in skirts and make-up. I got a certain amount of nonsense about that. You should see my ex-girlfriend, who is thoroughly and definitely gay, she's far girlier than me. (Her Bosom is of equal magnitude.) Has anyone worked out how bisexuals are meant to dress? The women at least, the men mostly seem to be in hiding. Although one random observation: isn't it odd how some straight people assume that long-haired men must be gay, presumably on the thinking that long hair = effeminate = gay man? Has anyone ever met a long-haired gay man? Bi men, yes, straight men, oodles, gay men, never, in my experience. They're all in crew cuts.

Another random question: you know how some straight couples will not let each other have opposite-sex friends Just In Case? I find this completely incomprehensible, as does my (also bi) partner. I thought maybe it was an older generation thing, but a friend of mine who's only 25 was round for lunch yesterday and was telling me all about how she and her mutually adoring husband have agreed not to have opposite-sex friends, at least not to the extent of such intimacies as having lunch with them. Ironically, at this very moment my partner was out getting all hot and sweaty with another woman...playing badminton. Anyway, is this a straight thing? It makes no sense to me as a bi woman, because I wouldn't be allowed any friends at all under those rules. Perhaps I would be allowed friends as long as they came with a certificate of authenticity proving that they were not remotely attracted to women?! Or am I just being naive about how other couples function? It seems like a surprisingly high level of jealousy to me.

True Blood: hmm, Pam generally looks hotter, I reckon, but Eric can also be fairly hot, especially once he cut his hair. (I'm often a fan of long hair on blokes, but it really didn't work for him.) He has a certain puppyish appeal going at the moment which is great fun.

AND PAM'S FACE! NOOOOO! It was funny, we were mainly being side-tracked by yet another of her breathtaking outfits, and my other half was merrily telling me that he finds that sort of thing very attractive and would love to see me in something similar, along with a general discussion of how much PVC and the like she wears, and then next thing we knew Fiona Shaw was cursing her face off and it is just Not Allowed! I mean, Pam is fabulous, and she principally demonstrates this fabulosity by how she looks! (Yes, shallow, I know, but this is True Blood we're talking about. Even the woman I know who sometimes lectures on it, and who has commented that, "I am uniquely fortunate in being able to use the phrase 'inbred meth-dealing werepanthers' in a professional setting," mainly appreciates it for its total daftness.) There's a good chance they'll reverse it, I hope. It's like the rule that no ever really gets killed in sci-fi. OK, they can get killed, but they're just as likely to get magically returned to life one way or the other.

philana
07-19-2011, 05:29 AM
Haha, Esofia - you must be right about Pam. I mean, she and Eric are super important for the viewers because of their hot vampire looks. No way they'd kill that for a long time.

About the straight couples + friends thing, it depends. Lots of my female friends have male friends even though they are in a relationship. Though, not a lot. A while ago I was having dinner with a good friend, a guy, and he's in a relationship right now. And we were like "if I wasn't gay, you'd have to explain so much to your girlfriend". LOL. It's just weird how people don't just trust eachother. I mean, if you dont - then why are you in a relationship? However - I think it's also just culture. Girls talking amongst themselves will inquire if they have seen one of the BF's with another girl somewhere. They'll start all sorts of gossip and their mind immediately goes to the gutter. So the GF in question can't do anything other than confront het BF about it and make a fuss.

Ah, I'm so glad I'm single. Because lesbian drama can be just as huge. LOL.

Esofia
07-19-2011, 06:12 AM
Maybe I don't get it because I went to a single-sex school during which the longest relationship I had (with a bloke, I was firmly closeted at the time) was three months, and then plunged straight into the heart of the uni LGBT community at uni, so that not that many of my male friends have ever been straight? Really, you don't know fun until you have been belting out a Mozart love duet at the piano with a gay man and lots of camping it up. And my best friend is a gay man (actually, I once had to tell him, "[Name], I've got something to confess. I've been playing the Schubert with another man." My duet partners have almost always been gay men, apart from that one time I tried singing with a straight boy and he was all inhibited and staid), so I'm not really experienced in the whole exclusive-friendship-with-straight-women thing.

Girls talking amongst themselves will inquire if they have seen one of the BF's with another girl somewhere. They'll start all sorts of gossip and their mind immediately goes to the gutter. So the GF in question can't do anything other than confront het BF about it and make a fuss.
Do adults really do this? I totally missed out on that and always have, it seems. The ONE time I went to the loo to gossip with a friend was when three of us, all friends since we were five, went to the theatre, and while sitting in a cafe beforehand, my best friend (male) came out to the other friend (female). She quickly grabbed me and rushed to the loo to say, "Did I react OK? Did I react OK?" I didn't have the heart to say, "Yes, and by the way, I'm a raving bisexual too!"

Ah, I'm so glad I'm single. Because lesbian drama can be just as huge. LOL.

I've just started watching The L Word, and isn't there a line in it along the lines of, "Lesbians just think friendship is another word for foreplay"? Having been involved in a nice little lesbian tangle of my own, involving a good friend where we fancied each other but should never have tried a relationship...yep, I know what you mean.

I've found that the people who are most sensible about relationship boundaries and jealousy are the poly folks. I'm monogamous myself, but I've learnt a surprising amount from the alt.polyamory FAQ (http://www.faqs.org/faqs/polyamory/faq/), for instance. I think that's the article that inspired me to sit down with my partner shortly after we got together and have a good chat about how we both feel about monogamy, what it means to us, that sort of thing.

Mya - OK, you're right, the between-legs bit does matter in the context of a sexual relationship. Arghh, this is so hard to explain. It's a fun bit, but it no more makes a difference to me which category it falls into than it matters what colour the person's hair is. I do find that the chemistry tends to be a bit different with men than it does with women, and that I more often find women physically attractive and more often have that chemistry with men, but I reckon that's because we have this social construct of women being the ones who are looked at, with more revealing clothing and so forth, and because unless you live in the lesbian community (which I don't), you are going to run into far more men-attracted-towards-women than you are going to find women-attracted-towards-women. It's just that there are so many factors governing attraction towards someone, including whether they are someone who is attracted to your gender (positing a binary gender system for the moment, and also acknowledging that some people do keep falling tragically for folks who aren't attracted to their gender), and their gender isn't really a factor for me. It reminds me of the way that, erm, some gender theorist (Valerie Traub?) says that it really is quite arbitrary to divide people up based on which gender they're attracted to, you could as well divide them up based on whether or not they can roll their tongue. Which I don't entirely agree with, tongue-rolling is of no social significance whereas relationships are, but she does have a certain point. And it's not as if humans are free from the problem of dividing people up in a way that is totally unnecessary, such as racism.

InsideMe
07-22-2011, 08:26 AM
Esofia....I know everyone thinks I'm straight, men always hit on me and I don't know if it's because I don't give them the slightest bit of attention so they get interested....and then when I say I'm gay they LAUGH at me and say I don't look like a dyke....my girlfriend is very obviously gay, she's very androgenus/sporty boyish dyke, it's like we are all suppose to follow a label and follow it? I dress how I like and yeah I love my heels and makeup but that doesn't mean I'm straight! LOL too funny how unaware people are!

ETA: Yeah lesbian drama is what comes with the territory......back in Jan my girlfriend and I split, a friend from our group tried to get really close to me, giving me emotional support etc....but when I got back with my GF she ditched the group and now talks crap about all of us......whatever......and that's just minor! I admit I have some mini crushes on a couple girls we all hang with.....It's such a fine line between friends/closeness and then that attraction....

Amberkkski
08-25-2011, 03:51 PM
I see its been quiet on here! Wanted to stop in and say hi from a bi girl in new york :)

BerkshireGrl
08-26-2011, 12:29 AM
Hello there, Amber! :flow2:

<--- bi in Massachusetts

InsideMe
08-30-2011, 09:28 AM
Helloooo I know it has been quiet in here I've been checking it regularly too. So how has the summer been for you gals? I can't believe Sept is here and fall is coming. It's making me look at getting a gym membership to change my workout scenery and I'm hoping I'll be down enough by the time the snow flies to feel confident enough to go to a gym.....how have you gals been?

GreatPerhaps
09-06-2011, 11:50 PM
Hi all! I just found this thread.

Queer woman here, happily partnered with a transman. :)

Inside Me, I know how you feel about not being quite confident enough yet to go work out in a gym. I've been trying to just go for walks/runs outdoors, although I suppose the gym will start looking like a better option once it gets cold out...

djs06
09-07-2011, 02:06 PM
IM, go get that gym membership if you think it'll help! I go to a gym in the mornings which has been my saving grace- I actually go! Haha. The scariest part is signing up because I always build it up in my head to be a bunch of scary meatheads laughing at me behind my back as they take my money and assume I won't actually use their services. :lol: Turns out that the people there are perfectly nice and I'm not intimidated at all, actually I've belonged to probably 5 or 6 different gyms and I've never had a bad experience. Go for it!

InsideMe
09-26-2011, 07:39 AM
Ok ok I JOINED!!! LOL I had a 3 week plateau that was killing me and I'm like screw this!!! I also got a personal training to help me break through that wall and FINALLY saw a 2lbs loss this week :) Thanks girls, yeah I guess it's all perception, we see what we want to see right, especially when you feel insecure....I just wish my personal trainer was a hot lady haha

Persicae
11-04-2011, 01:23 PM
Bi-sexual with a girlfriend saying HELLO from Virginia! :D

On the topic of bi-sexual appearance: I dress depending on my mood. Sometimes I will look like a tomboy with jeans and a tee; and sometimes I will dress up with feminine clothes and make-up. My hair is currently short and shaggy, but I have been known to dye it and let it grow very long. So, I don't think bisexuals really have a "look" per-say.

InsideMe
01-26-2012, 10:38 AM
Sooooooo slow in here peoples!

neon_zephyr
01-26-2012, 12:32 PM
Anyway, I'm a proud pansexual and/or queer chick residing in Southern California, where it seems like everyone in the LGBT community is either a thin high femme, a skinny twinkish gay boy, or a ripped muscle man type. Some diversity, but always thin, and often rude or outright nasty to not-so-thin tomboyish queer punx like me. : /


My experience with this group is completely different and this is not what I've seen in the SoCal community of LGBT folks. Maybe there are other groups that don't intersect socially. Maybe it's just that those from the community that I am familiar with are in academia. I've seen a whole lot of diversity here, myself. Additionally, I've heard lot of discussion about body acceptance. LA does cater to the movie-star types and there's an extreme body consciousness around here which probably skews the majority, however, I know there are quite a lot of folks here who don't fit your assessment, which is why I think there might just be lots of non-intersecting groups. Maybe you should try attending some of the academic events that are marketed or geared toward the LGBT community where you can both hear some great research and meet people who might have opinions and ideologies in common with you. :)

neon_zephyr
01-26-2012, 12:49 PM
I was raised in London, though I fled for Scotland at 18 and have stayed here ever since.

Random question: you know how bisexuals will sometimes say "I'm not interested in the person's gender/what's between their legs, I fall in love with their personality"? I've said it myself in the past, usually when having to justify myself to someone who is being unpleasant about bisexuality. It was pointed out on the previous LGBT thread that this is actually not a very nice thing to say, because it's basically a put-down of everyone who's not bisexual. Can anyone think of a way of getting across that general point without being unpleasant about it?

I love Scotland. :) My estranged husband is from there and I've spent some time time there. Yay to you for being in a lovely place! :)

I can see why people would take that as an "insult", because it's almost like taking the moral high ground, in a way, like one is saying "I care about the person not the body" in a way that somehow makes them superior. If someone wants to take the response that way, then I don't think you can do much to change their minds. It's just that different things turn on different people. Many people are more somatically attached, both by way of self-identification and by way of attraction than psychically/cerebrally/emotively attached. I think it's just a difference of what matters to people and how they view their worlds rather than some kind of binary value system at the core. As long as it has been expressed without some kind of smugness or superiority, maybe explained within a context indicating that neither kind of sexuality is "wrong" or "right" but that some kinds are conventionally acceptable because they are common and some are marginalized, it might achieve better results. Polite is good, but when you're challenging someone's prejudice ("there's only one right way" kind of attitude), you're going to offend that person simply by virtue of disagreeing, I think. Most people don't understand or accept that gender and sexuality are socially constructed concepts steeped within frameworks of differing values and traditions and that "right" and "wrong" don't quite work, so it's difficult for many people to even hear that distinction. My point is, as long as one isn't deliberately trying to be smug and superior, it doesn't have to be an insulting response because it isn't inherently connected to a value judgment that somatic attraction is somehow inferior.

alisonlerae
01-29-2012, 01:00 PM
Hmm...

This thread has caused me to pin-point a connection with my sexuality and fatness.

I'm bisexual, I just don't let it be known to the general public because there's no reason too. I've only ever been in two really long, serious relationships. One with a female, one with a male. I married the dude. He's amazing -- the most kind, understanding and open person I know. He's heterosexual, but not homophobic. We understand each other.

But then there's friends... since moving back home from where we moved so I could attend college, I've found it really hard to make girlfriends. You know, the people you cuddle with on the couch while watching crappy shows like Teen Mom. The people you ***** about your husband too. The people you go on late night walks with, and gossip with.

I think it's because I haven't found anyone open enough to eventually be honest with them without them freaking out. How do you girls handle this? I'M GOING CRAZY WITHOUT MY BFFS. I think this is why I've gained so much weight since graduation -- eating my loneliness.

philana
01-30-2012, 04:16 AM
Hmm, I don't think anything I can say will apply to you. I am from The Netherlands and we are pretty tolerant. Also I hang out with kinda the intellectual folks, who seem to be even more tolerant than average. So I've never encountered any issues with female friends.

I read a research study the other day about how in the US 70% of freshmen are pro gay marriage. So I'd think that atleast in the college system lot's of people are a bit more openminded than average?

I might have a completely backwards idea of how closeminded most americans are. Mostly because a good friend of mine is from Texas, and well.. that's a horrid place to live and be gay. Haha. Though from what I gather Florida and New York aren't so bad to be gay. How's Omaha?

Goodluck!

And a bit of universal advice: If people can't accept you for who you are, then would you really even want to spent time with them? Better to know who you can cound a friend than not to know right?

putznanu
01-30-2012, 03:30 PM
Just wanted to add my two cents - lesbian woman here from NJ - Hello all! :D

neon_zephyr
02-02-2012, 01:42 PM
I might have a completely backwards idea of how closeminded most americans are. Mostly because a good friend of mine is from Texas, and well.. that's a horrid place to live and be gay. Haha. Though from what I gather Florida and New York aren't so bad to be gay. How's Omaha?


I've lived in many places, including Omaha and I'm from Texas, even though I live in Southern California, now. Much of rural TX and even many metropolitan centers can be homophobic, but there's a big LGBTQ community in Austin and Houston and Galveston. Also, plenty of art and culture in those cities. There's a small, but open-minded community in Omaha, but not as much presence in Lincoln, from what I remember. I think sometimes, you just have to look harder to find connections in places.

chubbyNerdJ
02-04-2012, 04:08 PM
Re: The post about LBGTQ Texas: There is also a thriving queer scene here in Dallas! Like the OP said, you just have to look a bit harder to make connections.

But per the original thread, I'm a queer woman. I feel like of odd sometimes in the LGBTQ community because I feel like, as a fat woman, I don't fit in, physically, at least. Some of it is my own issues with my size, but still...

Smilla
02-16-2012, 08:03 PM
.

Kay7jay
02-19-2012, 12:02 PM
Figured I'd throw myself in the mix.. Lesbian in Las Vegas.


As for the weight and dating- I hate my own body. HATE it. so I'm changing it and while I do that I have made a personal choice to not date. I will date again when I am under 200, quite the reward for reaching one of my mini goals.
That said, other people don't hate it (or are willing to overlook it?) and I actually get asked out quite often.

But I truly believe I have to love myself before I can love someone else. No one I know actually supports my decision to not date, but I just am not as happy as I could be so why put that on someone else?

:hug:

bopbot
02-21-2012, 02:49 PM
Hey, everyone. Bisexual woman in a committed open relationship with a man, here.

I've never had a problem with anyone being less than accepting of my bisexuality--in fact, I think it was almost a point of attraction for a lot of people--but my partner and my's disinterest in sexual monogamy is a totally different ball of wax. A lot of our friends who don't flinch at someone's sexuality are a lot less comfortable when that same person wants to share it with people outside the relationship.

I think that my partner and I having sex outside of our relationship is actually very important for the health of our relationship as a whole. Sex with the same person, while comfortable and loving and occasionally very kinky, never really has that same breathless rush as having sex for the first or second time with someone you've been attracted to and never really thought you'd have sex with. And that I have someone to go home to afterward and share with, and that it makes both of us even more excited about each other, makes it all the better.

But I feel less sexy since I gained weight, and I know that's why I haven't really pursued anyone outside my partner--not because I'm not interested in anyone else, because I DEFINITELY am, but because I don't feel comfortable enough with myself to think I'd enjoy the pursuit.

But hey. I'M GETTING THERE.

celticrae19
05-28-2012, 07:47 PM
Hey everybody!! I was hoping there was a thread like this somewhere on this forum. Sappic sister right here all the way.( if it wasn't somewhat obvious by the avatar). I haven't done well in the way of dating, Indianapolis not really the best gay scene. I was with my ex for over 2.5 years it ended kind of badly. Its great to see a support thread here for those of us gay ladies who need to lose weight. we need to get more peeps in here. :)

BerkshireGrl
05-28-2012, 08:15 PM
Hi celticrae! I'm bisexual myself. Nice to see you! :wave: I love your avatar! I used to have a "Xena for President" bumpersticker on my old car!

Good luck with your weight loss, and dating too! :)

RainbowWimsii87
05-30-2012, 11:20 PM
Yay for finding this thread.

I'm bisexual and in such a small town that it's hard to meet another woman with the same orientation of some kind. I had a gf last year, but she moved after graduating and it gets kind of hard sometimes. That is with the weight loss and not meeting like-minded people.

So again I say...YAY!

stunzorz
06-02-2012, 09:48 AM
Lesbian in Florida :D Hey, all. From what I've experienced, it is hard to meet someone good even when your options are plentiful (like they are where I live). It all comes down to real compatibility, even when there are lesbimamas everywhere you look!

Kay7jay
06-04-2012, 08:14 AM
here are lesbimamas everywhere you look!

Hey stun, where in Florida do you live? Clearly I need to move there because I'm pretty sure there are 5 lesbians here and we've all already dated each other. ;)

TheManekiNeko
06-05-2012, 11:30 PM
Hey all! I'm a lesbian, I'm a student so I'm currently living in London and Birmingham (in the UK). And I will be moving to Spain in September to study :)

Excited but also slightly concerned that the city I'm going to has one tiny gay bar that seems to be very run down. :/

Oh well, I will just have to have a year without my constant supply of queer-y goodness and drama.

putznanu
06-06-2012, 08:21 PM
Take heart ladies, My partner and I have been together for 28 years and still going strong. There is soneone out there for you.:)

Bridget Jones
06-06-2012, 08:44 PM
Hey everybody!! I was hoping there was a thread like this somewhere on this forum. Sappic sister right here all the way.( if it wasn't somewhat obvious by the avatar). I haven't done well in the way of dating, Indianapolis not really the best gay scene. I was with my ex for over 2.5 years it ended kind of badly. Its great to see a support thread here for those of us gay ladies who need to lose weight. we need to get more peeps in here. :)

Ha, I literally JUST changed my avatar from a Xena one. Hilarious.

Figured I'd throw myself in the mix.. Lesbian in Las Vegas.


As for the weight and dating- I hate my own body. HATE it. so I'm changing it and while I do that I have made a personal choice to not date. I will date again when I am under 200, quite the reward for reaching one of my mini goals.
That said, other people don't hate it (or are willing to overlook it?) and I actually get asked out quite often.

But I truly believe I have to love myself before I can love someone else. No one I know actually supports my decision to not date, but I just am not as happy as I could be so why put that on someone else?

:hug:

I'm with you and in the same boat. I'm also just focused on my career and working hard to get healthy and change my life at the moment. I've dated in the past, but I'm not looking at the moment - I will probably hold off on that for awhile. Anyway, I'm a lesbian living in LA.

Los Angeles is a great place to be gay, though, so I certainly go out and have fun.

Thanks to whoever bumped this thread, I'd have never found it otherwise.

starryblu
06-18-2012, 07:35 PM
Hey stun, where in Florida do you live? Clearly I need to move there because I'm pretty sure there are 5 lesbians here and we've all already dated each other. ;)


lol!
:Dsounds like where i lived in iowa....

starryblu
06-18-2012, 07:42 PM
oh, and hi from north carolina. i'm still trying to figure myself out. i was married three times, have three grown sons...and have been living with my partner for four years now, after about a two year split. during the split i was involved with another partner, and watched her die very slowly and painfully of a brain tumor. ten months later i lost one of my boys. has led to a lot of comfort eating, but i think i might finally be getting a grip on that.

whew that was complicated. maybe somebody can explain it to me, if it's decipherable. oh, and sad. yep. been sad for quite some time now...

BerkshireGrl
06-18-2012, 11:09 PM
:hug: Oh starryblu! I'm sorry!

starryblu
06-19-2012, 06:22 PM
:hug: Oh starryblu! I'm sorry!

thank you so much, you are very sweet :)

and i do apologize to everyone for getting so whiney. i'm not usually that way. i think i'm having a bad week....:stress::stress:

BerkshireGrl
06-19-2012, 10:00 PM
starryblu, no need to apologize. That is an overwhelming amount of trauma to go through. I comfort-ate for way less! Please, no apologies... and welcome :)

Lupus
06-21-2012, 02:24 PM
Great to see this thread! I was feeling a little lonely, I think it's the username? Or maybe the big bright sun, honestly I did that because of the lupus thing, sensitivity to the sun? It was meant to be a playful joke/statement...ah well.

I have been bi, queer, and now I think I found my little niche, genderqueer chick from the midwest :D. I wouldn't say I am polyamorous, but I make deep connections with people and I tend to love almost everyone once I get to know them, sometimes this takes years.

I am happily married to a man who loves me for who I am, and understands that I won't ever cheat on him (he is not like me) because I respect what we have, I am just different, and that's totally ok with him.

I too have never been a healthy weight (well maybe when I was 6?), have no idea what that would look like for me, excited to find out!

thewalrus0
08-25-2012, 03:03 PM
Hey everyone! I know there hasn't been a post here in a while but I thought I'd say hello.

I'm currently having issues with dating. I met a great girl and we went on a date but I'm just still so uncomfortable in my skin. Another thing is she lost a large amount of weight over the last couple of years and I feel awkward still being in that stage.

I was feeling pretty good about myself and my body. I was trying to be healthy without counting calories. Boy did that backfire. I ended up my heaviest weight ever! Some things just don't work for me and ignoring calories is one of them.

So anyways, I'm here! Another lesbian trying to lose!

BerkshireGrl
08-27-2012, 08:21 AM
Hello, thewalrus0! :wave: Good luck with your weight loss! I know about the feeling awkward bit, but you can get there! :)

lilmsstrange
08-28-2012, 11:57 AM
Well, I'll say hi on this thread!

I'm a single bisexual lady...who 60% of the time tries to figure out if she really wants to date a guy at all because seriously, girls are awesome. However currently I'm dating no one. Which is making me sad because both of my best friends are engaged. One is getting married in Decemeber and I'm one of two maids of honor (and the only bridal party memeber not dating someone). The other has just bought a house with his hubby to be, so they've put off the actual wedding shing-ding for a bit of time.

Usually I'm cool being single. I don't have to check in with anyone if I want to do something, I can flirt with people and no one cares, it's nice, relaxing. But lately I've just felt....left out. If I go out with my BFFs we have to bring their guys. Which really I like their guys, I have a ton in common with both of them and they think I'm super funny. But it does leave me as the fifth wheel while they get all snuggly and kissy and cute with each other.

But I digress, I'm an LGBT chick (I'm the B! The only time I say that and I'm not trying to censor a bad word), so hi!

TheLauren
09-02-2012, 10:34 PM
Hello! I'm queer and poly. I belong to a fairly large, wonderful and boisterous chosen family that is centered in NYC. Everyone is really supportive. My family and lovers always make me feel beautiful.

starryblu
09-03-2012, 09:05 AM
just popped in to see who's around. does anyone here do low carb? it's my current obsession. i believe in it, though i can't say that i've had a lot of success so far. but then, you have to stick with the program, right? nope, doesn't work with cheetoes and chocolate covered pretzels :D

Orange Sun
09-26-2012, 10:59 PM
Hello~ I'm a queer woman in New Mexico. Pretty femme, with an androgynous streak. I've been with my partner for four years. I have been slowly losing weight since the spring, with a combination of strategic carb consumption and counting calories. I'll turn 30 in December, and I'm excited to begin a new decade being more comfortable in my body.

LebenAlles
09-27-2012, 01:02 PM
Hey everybody, glad to see you guys here!

My partner and I have been together for a little over four years now. She's lost 50lbs since last December, and is looking wonderful. I've still got quite a bit to go, but it's all good, I've got this. I'm also turning 30 next year, Orange Sun, and am looking forward to rocking it with a new body and mindset.

Hope you all are doing well today!

BerkshireGrl
10-04-2012, 03:37 PM
I wish these posts had LIKE buttons! :wave:

Welcome to all newcomers, and best wishes with your reaching for better health and wellness! :high:

<--- Bisexual :val2:

jules68
10-17-2012, 02:31 AM
Lesbian here. Single, not looking. :dizzy:

And I have decided that I need to lose some weight for my own health, so I came back to 3 fat chicks. After my long-term relationship ended, my ex left me for some man she met on the internet after we'd been together over 18 years, I actually did quite well with taking care of myself. Then I had a few other losses and sort of stopped exercising and eating relatively well.

jules

Kay7jay
10-28-2012, 07:23 PM
Ouch jules, that's rough :(

good luck with getting healthy, hope it continues to progress!

Katy Did
10-28-2012, 09:42 PM
Bisexual Canadian, together with my lesbian partner for 2 1/2 wonderful years. She's such an inspiration for me to be a healthier person- she is much more active than I am, and naturally gravitates to healthier foods as well. She's been so supportive of me.

Calmontflor
11-17-2012, 08:24 AM
It still feels odd for me to say I'm in Florida even after 6 years. I am from northern California and 20 years in Montana, a dyed-in-the-wool inveterate wetserner.

:goodvibes to all the other queer folkx out there! I found three fat chicks yesterday and woke up this morning convinced I could find a LGBT thread. I was right!

Florida values seems to be so much more anti-everything than where I've lived before - I've spent these years determinedly being myself in the face of those who glare, ignore and argue.

One thing I find among queer gals here in rural Florida is some sort of trend for non-skinny, non-hip queer women to be fat in an almost obligatory or stubbornly dumpy and unappealing way. What gives with that? I aim to be fitter, healthier, and less body-muffled!

starryblu
11-18-2012, 08:02 AM
Calmontflor....glad you found your way to the LGBT thread, and welcome!!

i am in a very similar situation. i've been in NC for about....umm....almost 10 years, and i still feel like an iowan! oh well, i love my new state, but miss the old one. if florida is anything like north caroliina, i can say the south takes a little getting used to! and all respect to southerners, i don't mean that in a bad way!

to everyone else--is anyone here doing a low carb diet? i have been trying for quite some time, i can stick to my eating plan very well, but fall off the wagon so frequently! can't say that i've lost anything since i begun, which was back in august, i believe. to tell the truth, i probably have gained weight.

just curious. this whole site is great, but it always helps to hear from someone who's on more common ground.

thanks and wishes that everyone enjoys the up-coming holidays!!
~starry

brookers
12-13-2012, 04:55 PM
I was so thrilled to see this thread! I'm very new to this place...

Anyways..I'm a lesbian from Alabama. If that sounds unfortunate to you, it is :dizzy:

ubercast
12-24-2012, 10:45 AM
I'm reviving this thread after it's long winter nap.

I am a 23 year old lesbian from Southern California, who just moved to Southern Florida!

I started losing weight while I was in college, but somewhere between mid-terms and final I stopped working on my weight loss. Now that I have graduated, and found myself a good job, there is no better time to start working on losing weight again!

battybettie
01-05-2013, 11:22 PM
Heyoooo. Homos in the house.

I don't know if I should thank my girlfriend for cooking well enough that I enjoy her healthy foods now I'm dieting, or if I should hate her for cooking well enough that I gained 20 pounds in the 2 years we've been living in the same house.

synchrojo
03-20-2013, 01:36 AM
I think I've arrived late to the LGBTQ party in more ways than one, but I'm reviving this thread anyways. In my mid-20s, I'm only now really putting an identity to what I've felt but avoided examining for a few years-- namely that I'm queer/bisexual. I'm not out to anyone except my best friends (two married queer women) and I've never dated or really done anything with a woman. I've been single for 2 years, and I'm trying to figure out how/if I start actively searching for women.This stresses me out, and stress causes me to eat microwave personal pizza and stay up until 2 am, which is not fantastic for my diet.

Anyways, it's really awesome to see so many great folks here. Hope everyone's making progress toward their goals!

BerkshireGrl
03-20-2013, 06:53 PM
Welcome to all! :carrot:

Sprinkles22
05-03-2013, 01:04 PM
I identify as bi :) in another world, I'd consider myself possibly polyamorous as well, but of course you never know until you truly try. My wonderful boyfriend of 6 years has seen a number of girlfriends come and go, and as at peace as he is with the whole thing, I just don't see us ever becoming seriously involved with anyone else. And I wouldn't give him up for anything! (Even if it means I get some backlash from both LGBT and Straight folk claiming I'm straight and should just stop pretending.....ugh!)

RavenB
05-18-2013, 04:14 PM
I was really happy to see this here. I'm a 27 year old from Missouri. I identify as bisexual, but I'm mostly interested in dating women. Single right now.

I joined the site hoping to get support maintaining healthy dieting practices. I've struggled with anorexia in the past. Right now I'm at 145, aiming for around 110-115.

Good luck to everyone else!

quiet dissent
05-31-2013, 11:41 AM
Keeping the thread going...

I'm a lesbian and have been with my partner for almost ten years. My weight has fluctuated those ten years, not on the account of my partner, but mostly because of graduate school and work! Life's stress is unrelenting sometimes. Trying to "get right" so we can easily have many more years together. Anyways, I was glad to see this thread here. :)

LucreziaBorgia
07-08-2013, 12:03 AM
I have just discovered the forum. I wasn't expecting to see a LGBTT post, but seeing it now, I'm flattered! I am bi, that's why I wished to have a say under this thread.

Yeah... Thank you for the thread!

Berlinloser2012
07-31-2013, 08:26 AM
Woo Hoo! Queer girl here. I am 27, from New York originally. I have lived in Berlin, Germany for almost 4 years now, and have been with my wonderful partner for 3 years. I am trying to lose weight and get stronger so that I can just feel better. I feel uncomfortable in my body. I really feel my weight now that I'm getting older. I was a fat kid and raised vegetarian but ate really unhealthy and binged mostly. I was addicted to fries, fried rice and pizza. I lost a bunch of weight around the age of 17-20. I use to weigh 300lbs age 17 at my highest and 189 at my lowest around the age of 21. I have had a somewhat steady weight all these years at around 205 and eat really good healthy food but my metabolism is slow, and I tend to graze the day along into the night but I never binge. I recently started gaining weight again slowly and decided I wanted to continue to lose, and this time workout and train my muscles. I'm really into going to the gym now. I love it. My partner has been super supportive and even goes to the gym with me sometimes. She is athletic, and runs/workouts often so I'm really lucky.

Jessicarabbit
08-08-2013, 05:11 PM
I'm glad I found this forum. I'm bisexual, pretty much super femme in a relationship for 2 years now. In regards with the original post, I feel you, I do believe that sometimes the LGBTQ community can be judgemental about the weight... But then again, it's the same thing with heterosexuals. I know it's silly but sometimes I can't help it to think that in order to be high femme you need to be "skinny". Maybe it's just how public media portray fashion... That you have to be skinny in order to "look good"... Thankfully I've realized that it's about my health first. Sure, I also want to be able to wear mini skirts without having to worry about my big thighs.. Haha

versace
08-25-2013, 02:20 PM
I'm getting the feeling I might be the only one, but transman here. I'm a year post-op top surgery now, and totally looking to get my weight in check finally. I've got this bangin' new chest, and what a waste it'd be to not be able to show it off, lol.

As for my sexuality, I don't have a clue, LOL. I like what I like whenever I encounter it, and sometimes I don't like anything at all. Sometimes I have a preference for a certain gender, sometimes not, always open to fluid or a lack of gender. Sometimes it's all physical, sometimes it's all about knowing the person. I just sort of go with it.

BillBlueEyes
08-25-2013, 02:42 PM
Hi versace,

In honor of your first week here, :wel3fc:

Lots of forums to check out to find groups that might help you with your eating plan and exercise plan. That includes coming over and checking us out in the Men's Corner (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/mens-corner-237/).

Good luck on your journey.

versace
08-26-2013, 05:35 PM
BillBlueEyes: Heey, ty! That's really nice to know that I've an open invitation like that to the men's section, too, so really, thank you :)

PrincessKLS
10-20-2013, 10:00 PM
I'm a mostly straight female who considers myself a girly girl but I rarely wear skirts with high heels. Because I can't walk in really high heels. But anyway to the OP or anyone who could answer. What exactly is the difference between femme and high femme? I'm around member of the GLBT community alot now, being that I'm the vice president of my school's gay-straight alliance. I will have to say though most of our members are either really gay men who range from skinny to fat, transgendered, or butch/queer females. So I haven't seen many femme lesbians or bisexuals.

AAD
01-20-2014, 05:54 PM
Newbie here. Subscribing to thread! :)

ubercast
02-03-2014, 03:35 PM
Welcome AAD!!

Unfortunately this thread is not very active at all. It is always nice to see new faces though.

AAD
02-05-2014, 04:21 PM
Thanks, Uber!

See you in the forums!

Victoriann
02-20-2014, 01:15 PM
This is a great thread! Pansexual girl from north dakota 😊

AAD
02-20-2014, 05:30 PM
Hi Victoriann! Welcome.

50pounds
02-26-2014, 02:27 PM
I am new here as well. Is good to see many people that I can relate to and vice versa :)

I am a gay woman (42) and happily engaged to my girlfriend of over 5 years. I'm not butch or femme either one....I'm just whatever LOL I don't carry a purse, I'm the "handyman" of the house, I love zombie movies/shows and prog metal, and I suppose I fill the more "masculine role??", but I also wear some makeup, own a couple of pairs of heels, and boo hoo over sad movies ;)

Good to meet you ALL!!! :)

angelicus
03-31-2014, 08:32 PM
Hiya All * waves * I'm a bisexual woman from England. Trying to get myself into a healthier way of living for the last time.

jessiegreene
06-02-2014, 12:01 PM
YAY I knew there was a forum our there I could relate to!!! Hello ladies I am a happily married lesbian in Arkansas, actually the second couple ever married in the south. (well its in a stay right now so were on hold but we got a state issued marriage license issued before they got wise and shut it down) anyway nice to meet you all and I look forward to reading your posts and sharing as well. :carrot: P.S. how do I get the scale on my post? still trying to figure out how to put a pic up too!!!:?:

BillBlueEyes
06-02-2014, 01:20 PM
Jessie - the system reports that you (jessiegreene) deleted your own last three posts. Try posting again being careful not to hit a [Delete] button somewhere.

Good luck.

ETA: When you've been here 20 days and have 20 posts, the [User CP] pulldown tab will show a signature option. Your profile page shows: Join Date: 05-30-2014. So you have a couple of weeks to go. It won't seem long.

jessiegreene
06-02-2014, 01:22 PM
thank you I figured it out, sometimes you have to be smarter than what you are working with lol, I was looking for them on page 1... again thank you:)

djs06
06-02-2014, 10:21 PM
Welcome to 3fc Jessie, and congrats on getting married!

Marina Brasil
07-28-2014, 07:35 PM
Love this thread!
I'm a 30yo brazilian lesbian married to my also lesbian partner for 6 years. She is a personal trainer and we both need to lose weight. She probably needs to lose 15 to 20 pounds but i need to lose much more. In Brazil lesbians come in all sizes and shapes but it's not so common for the more feminine ones to be really overweight. My exes classified me as a girly girl but i don't feel like that at all, even though i dress like the girl next door.