Weight Loss Support - Trouble resisting temptation? Read this!




JohnP
05-24-2011, 01:52 PM
I used to work for a very smart and successful man. He used to ask employees who had failed at a task if they knew the difference between a reason and an excuse. He would explain if a marathon runner breaks his leg that is a reason no to finish. Everything else is an excuse.

We are all brilliant at making excuses. It starts when we're kids and we just get better as adults. We can justify any behavior we want. My favorite excuse is "Just this once ..." Ya right. :dizzy: The following has worked for me to resist temptation and maybe it can work for you.

Step one - Aknowledgement. Recognize that you can resist if you want to. You have the power to say no.

Step two - Visualization. Our minds can't tell the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined. At the risk of sounding like Tony Robbins- we're primarily motivated by pleasure and pain. So use your imagination to use the long term results of resisting or giving in to motivate you vs the short term pleasure giving in does.

Example - visualize your goal self. I don't know what that represents to you - are you basking in the sun in a small bikini? Are you climbing up a steep trail? Whatever it is you want to be thinner for, visualize it intensely.

Pain exmaple. Visualize what will happen if you give into temptation. What pain will you experience if you don't lose the weight you want or worse gain more. Are your kids going to be embarrassed you're their parent? Will you be out of breath from walking from the car to your office? That high calorie, low nutrient snack is going to propell you towards this horror.

Step three - Congratulate yourself for resisting. Tell yourself good job. If you don't have a support group you can tell in person come make a post here and receive aknowledgement.


High Heels
05-24-2011, 02:25 PM
Wow - thank you for posting this, John. It's just what I needed to hear today. :) I'm familiar with visualizing my goal self, but I'd never thought of visualizing what will happen when I indulge my temptations. For me, that scary realization is a more powerful motivator to stay on track.

Thank you!

K9Owner
05-24-2011, 02:31 PM
Thanks John, I really needed this today!
I've read many of your posts and as weird as this sounds,
we often think much alike. :fr:
That's scary to think another human thinks as I often do! :lol:


Dog Rescue Mama
05-24-2011, 02:32 PM
I love your post! I'm on day 44 of my 100 day challenge without a single slip. I realized all those other times I failed was because I didn't want it enough. If I truly wanted it I would get it. Well here I am now 44 days in, 26 lbs lighter, and feeling great. If I see something that looks good I remind myself where that food got me in the first place. If you truly want it you CAN DO IT!

I also stopped finding "legal cheats". Like fake fettuccini and other stuff that technically fits my diet but is a less tasty version of the real thing. I figure now is the time to develop healthy eating habits and eating a bunch of fake "bad foods" is setting me up for big time failure when I hit my goal weight. I need to retrain my body's cravings and tastes. I'm not dieting, I'm learning to eat healthy natural foods that energize my body and keep me healthy. Sure once I'm thin I may eat a bowl of pasta one afternoon but by changing my habits I know it won't trigger a week long noodle binge.

I always heard "eat to live, not live to eat" but I never thought a second of it, it was just some stupid thing someone would put on an office poster with a cat hanging from a tree branch. I truly embraced it and it changed my life. I realized I truly did live to eat. I looked forward to meals, I centered my day around cooking, I even showed my love through baking. Now I look at a food and eat it because I know it will sustain me to do more important things in life. Rather then look forward to dinner that night I look forward to a walk or movie time with the kids. I shifted my view of the world. I have far less depression issues and I wake up each morning excited to see another day. This isn't because I lost the weight, this is because my life has been radically turned around because of a change in view about food. I had no idea how much food had a grip hold on my life and it took this many years to let it go.

I have a long ways left to go to both hit my goal and to cement the changes in my life but I feel I'm well on my way and so excited about what life has in store for me!

time2lose
05-24-2011, 02:46 PM
Great post!

JohnP
05-24-2011, 05:11 PM
Thanks John, I really needed this today!
I've read many of your posts and as weird as this sounds,
we often think much alike. :fr:
That's scary to think another human thinks as I often do! :lol:

Oh my ... that is very scary. Also somewhat comforting. :D

I love your post! I'm on day 44 of my 100 day challenge without a single slip. I realized all those other times I failed was because I didn't want it enough. If I truly wanted it I would get it. Well here I am now 44 days in, 26 lbs lighter, and feeling great. If I see something that looks good I remind myself where that food got me in the first place. If you truly want it you CAN DO IT!

Congrats!

Sounds like YOU should have written this post. I've never made it 44 days without slipping. I usually can manage to buckle down for 30 days and then reward myself. Then again, if it's planned ... is it slipping? :D

Dog Rescue Mama
05-25-2011, 07:34 PM
Congrats!

Sounds like YOU should have written this post. I've never made it 44 days without slipping. I usually can manage to buckle down for 30 days and then reward myself. Then again, if it's planned ... is it slipping? :D


Thanks, no i don't think anything you plan is a cheet haha. My goal is to prove to myself that i don't need the foods i crave that made me fat in the first place. I am more then anything else, trying to relearn healthy eating habbits, so that is why my personal goal is to go 100 days with no cheats, not simply plan them into my day.

I see the biggest trouble is trying to budget in "low fat or low calorie" versions of my trouble food. It would just further my inability to learn healthy eating habbits. I am retraining my tastes and what i view as portions. It seems to be working thus far, i'm down a pound from my last weigh in, yyyaaaa!

mimi86
05-25-2011, 09:36 PM
Such a great post! I'm going to give myself a big pat on my back for purposefully resisting the two indian samosa wraps (think...fried burrito full of...POTATOES!) that my hubby bought me today thinking that he was doing something nice. He loves to buy me food...I'm more proud of the way I gently told him to stop doing that, rather than tell him off. If you're going to go out and buy me snacks...bring me home a sack full of CUCUMBERS...yummy~~

Let's see how long those wraps sit in the freezer...:(

Riemontana
05-25-2011, 09:54 PM
I love your post, John. I always appreciate your no-nonsense approach.

Like DogRescue, I am noticing that my relationship with food has dramatically changed. It really is becomming fuel to me. I can enjoy the occasional treat - and I do - but on a daily basis I feel like I am fueling my body to do the important work.

Everyone around me seems to be on some extreme diet program. I have been quietly going along, eating well and excercising, and losing an average of 6 pounds per month. I feel like I can eat this way forever and I am hoping that my weight will simply stabilize at a healthy place.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Jeannette311
05-26-2011, 07:45 PM
Thank you for your post! I needed something like this! :)

I also think that a 100 day challenge sounds AWESOME! I wonder if I could do that?

abetterme
05-26-2011, 08:34 PM
That was a good post. Thank you!

JohnP
05-26-2011, 09:51 PM
Everyone around me seems to be on some extreme diet program. I have been quietly going along, eating well and excercising, and losing an average of 6 pounds per month. I feel like I can eat this way forever and I am hoping that my weight will simply stabilize at a healthy place.

Yes! This is so key. Guess what? Pretty soon some of those people will be coming to you to find out what your "secret" is. As if there could be some secret in this age of information ... still we all want to believe there is I suppose. Way to go!

Dog Rescue Mama
05-26-2011, 11:48 PM
I'm the same way! A nutritional friend set up my "diet" for me but basically it isn't a diet, just a healthier way of eating. I limit my carbs to whole grains and natural foods such as yogurts, sweet potatoes, etc. I just avoid highly refined carbs like noodles or white bread. I could still eat those BUT they would not fill me for the calorie allotment. Why would I want a 1/4 slice of bread when the same calories would give me an entire bowl of stir fry veggies??? My diet has 2 rules, eat 6 times a day (to help control my hypoglycemia) and eat around 1200 calories. I'm eating very healthy with plenty of veggies, healthy "whole" meats (not processed crap), fruit, and natural carbs. If my calories are a bit under or over who cares it is ok.

Now I've set my 100 day challenge to eat no desserts or refined carbs for 100 days but that is because I need to retrain my mind and body on how I view food. I turn to desserts and refined carbs for my comfort foods. With that coping mechanism gone I have to deal with my issues and find healthy approaches. Thus far I'd say I'm doing pretty good I've gone from 201 lbs to 172.5 lbs in 6 1/2 weeks. And I'm FULL all day long and have no more cravings. I don't need to worry about vitamin supplements or shakes to fill in nutritional deficiencies ether because I'm eating healthy and balanced. Heck I just ate a meal that was 197 calories and was a full serving of fish, a serving of parsnips, and a baby bok choy all steamed in a low sodium teriyaki sauce. I get to eat like that 6 times a day, I never feel deprived at all! I LOVE my "diet"!

The best part is that it seems to be reversing my hypoglycemia! Soon I'll go to 3 bigger meals with 2 snacks a day. I can eat happily like this the rest of my life and I think that's the key to keeping the weight off. I tried all those extreme diets and I failed every time and for me at least the reason why is that I was not willing to give up my habits. I wanted a fake version of what I was eating normally. I'd go right back to my old habits having learned nothing. I also realized that until you are truly ready to make the change you will fail. I wanted to be thin, really bad. Trouble was I wasn't willing to give up my goodies and habits. Till I was ready I would fail time and time again. Not that my way is the way, this is just what I learned about myself. I also had to come to grips with the fact it may take a great amount of time to loose the weight, after all it took years to get in the first place!

shannonmb
05-27-2011, 09:06 AM
I, too, appreciate your no-nonsense approach, John. This post is a keeper! It's very empowering to think of weight management as a series of choices that one is completely in control over. You choose this, you get ____. Make this choice enough times, ____ is your outcome. PERIOD! It's kinda hard to feel sorry for yourself that -- boo hoo -- I don't get to eat that right now! When you realize that you absolutely can eat that 3 times a day forever if you wish, but there are consequences. Choose.

Love it! ;)

Violet73
05-27-2011, 09:18 AM
This was great! I love your humor and the way you state the obvious! Keep it up! Thanks for this post! I needed it!

Esofia
05-27-2011, 10:19 AM
Great post, and it's really set me thinking. From my (admittedly short) experience, I'd say that there are two factors involved here.

1) Working out why you succumb to temptation, whether it's emotional eating, habitual eating from non-hunger cues, real hunger due to insufficient calories or a poorly balanced diet, feeling deprived, sugar addiction, feeling that life is not worth living without occasional chocolate, or what have you. Then you work on these factors and plan how to work around them, e.g. I have very small pieces (about 3g) of very dark chocolate as treats about once every other day. The chocolate is dark enough that I really don't want to eat much of it anyway, so it avoids chocolate bingeing and makes me feel happy that I've had a treat.

2) Just resisting the urges when they strike, which is what your post is about. I'd been working more on the first part and trying either distraction or making myself a nice herb or spice tea (licorice-based teas seem to be working well), but yes, this is absolutely crucial too, and probably more so for some people.

I'm now considering the language we use to discuss this sort of thing. It tends to be value-laden, emotionally loaded, guilt-trippy, and even religious. There was a diet my mother did once which categorised a lot of foods as "sins", and we all talk about "temptation". (My mother has always had a heavily turbulent relationship with food and goes for the guilt and emotion in spades, so I naturally shy away from that approach. Because whether you're healthy or not, resisting your parents is something that's compulsory!) I've just realised that I don't tend to use those terms, and on thinking about why, I reckon it's because they bring up the following schools of thought for me:

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"If you're sinning, you may as well sin thoroughly."

"Everything I like in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening."

And "cheating" just makes me think of sexual infidelity, which for me is a really weird way to think about what I eat.

It's a concept which presents dieting as something boringly mundane, say like school, but the real excitement comes when you break the rules, and it's strongly suggesting that you should. It's like the way that in fairy tales, forbidding something causes a compulsion to do it. Bluebeard's wife disobeying his order not to look in the secret room and finding the bones of his former wives is the right move for her self-preservation and gives us an interesting story; sneaking off to the cupboard for something loaded with fat and sugar that will leap miles over your calorie limit, on the other hand, is not a wise move.

After seeing my mother go through dieting **** for most of my life, I know that I would not be happy or compliant on any diet that restricted me in a way that made me feel deprived. She somehow raised me to be a healthy eater despite all this, and it stuck, so I'm basically doing calorie counting, cutting out obvious trigger foods (there is no real way of eating part of a bag of tortilla chips), healthy breakfast (usually porridge), soup and/or salad for lunch, and generally trying to keep an eye on weekly averages for macronutrients rather than obsessing over every day's portion of protein. So far it's working nicely, but I'm only about 6 weeks in and I'm curious to see what will turn up once I'm out of the honeymoon period and have been doing this for a few months. I'm already noticing the odd day when I feel bored, and have resolved to make an effort to make the soups and salads more varied to avoid this. (They are at least quick and easy to prepare, since I make up large batches of soup and freeze it in portions, and with my low energy levels that counts for a lot.)

I'm making a big effort not to get into the guilt mentality, and especially the shame mentality. So far I'm finding it helps to look at weekly balances. When it was our anniversary and we had pizza that day (he was working all day and evening) and then went out for dinner the next evening, I didn't think of it as cheating or what have you, I tried to go for healthy options, accepted that my calorie deficits were lower for those days, ate a bit less over the next few days, and by the end of the week it was all balanced out. Let's hope I manage to stick to this school of thought, because getting into a binge/starve mentality would be very, very bad for me both psychologically and physically.

Going back to the words thing, "balance" seems to be one I'm going for a lot. Nice tree-hugging hippy sort of feel to it, I suppose, and positive rather than negative. I'm trying to think of the calorie count business as simple and mathematical rather than loaded with emotion.

shannonmb
05-27-2011, 02:46 PM
^^^ Wow. I hope everyone's reading this thread! You people are so inspiring and have the most amazing insights!

losinrey
05-27-2011, 04:59 PM
This is just what I needed for this weekend! Thanks for posting!

mhill0823
06-11-2011, 11:15 PM
So I just searched resisting temptation and pulled this up from the grave:) But I'm so glad I read this!
It really helped me!
Thanks a lot for posting!

pretty on the inside
06-12-2011, 04:05 AM
Thanks so much! Amazing post! :)

Serval87
06-12-2011, 06:15 AM
Great post. I know, for me, it is so hard to say no to something that will taste so good, but is very bad for me. I will keep your technique in mind. Thanks. :)