Weight Loss Support - So, I'm a wimp? :\




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ShyHeather
05-22-2011, 03:28 AM
I posted on my facebook that I wouldn't be going to the gym today. When I got off work I felt a burning sensation in my right leg calf area, and my hips were hurting. I ended up getting more comments then I bargained for. 99.9% of the time I get no replies on my posts about my weight loss journey but this one for some reason got me some replies. The jest was basically to suck it up, and work through the pain.

That kind of confuses me because I was always told if it was this type of pain, a strange burning sensation, the kind you get when you do something to a muscle or ligament ... to not work out. So while I am confused on that matter, I couldn't help but cry over it. I didn't see myself as being weak, to me I saw myself as being smart and not pushing my body. Unfortunately the pain did subside and a night at the gym was lost. The hip pain is still there, but that's due to Aunt Flo coming within the next four days! Ugn .... I know they meant well, but it really was discouraging to read. It made me feel ever the more a failure and I am sadly a pretty emotional eater. I still struggle with that, and I won't lie. I ate a frozen pizza after the comments and just caved like an idiot. I know I may take a hit at the scale, but I will work it off. I have a lot of personal demons to deal with but I don't feel like I'm a wimp.


ish
05-22-2011, 03:36 AM
I bet your friends on Facebook were just trying to be supportive, and without knowing the full story I don't blame them. If that's something they know you want for yourself. Did you mention you were injured?

My advice would be not to post that kind of personal stuff on Facebook anyway. Misunderstandings and hurt feelings seem to be so common.

Try not to focus on the comments, or the pizza. It's okay to slip up, and I'm sure your friends meant well. Of course you're not a wimp!

indiblue
05-22-2011, 04:08 AM
I too almost never put status updates on Facebook for this reason. It's impossible to convey meaningful information about one's life in 140 characters or less and it can lead to confusion, offense, and hurt feelings.

Maybe instead of sharing everything with everyone, find a few good friends who understand and confide in them your highs and lows, victories and challenges. They will understand your weight loss and health journey much better and be able to provide better support than Facebook acquaintances. (And if you do decide to post regular updates on Facebook about things like whether or not you go to the gym, try not to put so much stock into what people say in response- they don't know your full situation and it's not useful to you to take their advice to heart.)


JayEll
05-22-2011, 06:37 AM
There are ALWAYS exercise fanatics who think you're supposed to join the Marines and work out until your body crashes. I am one of those people who believes that pain is never normal, nor should it become so. Especially when one is at higher weights, "pushing through the pain" can mean injury and long recovery times during which you'll have no exercise.

Your mistake was letting the jerks get to you and eating that frozen pizza. It's as though they handed you a gun, so you shot yourself with it. Well... maybe not quite that bad! :lol: But, never mind! Today is a new day, go on with your program as though nothing happened.

No, you're not a wimp, you're taking care of yourself. Continue to do so!

Jay

MIMI 193
05-22-2011, 08:09 AM
it's one day..just one day and one meal..and it was yesterday ..it's gone that pizza is old news ...take a few words from nina simone " it's a new dawn , it's a new life for meeeee and i'm feeling goooooood ...and live it xx

shishkeberry
05-22-2011, 08:44 AM
Deleting your status so you don't have to see those comments anymore might help

dragonwoman64
05-22-2011, 12:58 PM
Especially when one is at higher weights, "pushing through the pain" can mean injury and long recovery times during which you'll have no exercise. Jay

this has been my experience. I think it takes time to know your body well enough to know when it's ok to push through (sometimes it is), and when you should ease up.

People at facebook may be responding to what most people go through when it comes to gyms -- the difficult everybody faces when it comes to sticking with it. what may feel directed at you (and they're posting to you, so yeah, it is directed towards you in that sense), may be a response to how they really feel about their own efforts and experiences. and like another poster said, they may see it as encouraging you.

I can let a lot of emotional things push me to turn to food. I see it as just like I build muscles and stamina at the gym, building emotional muscle can be a good thing too.

JohnP
05-22-2011, 01:24 PM
What the heck do your FB friends know? If you're merely sore you can workout - if you've got an injury you shouldn't. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. So unless your FB friends are doctors and willing to come check out your injury in person they should stop talking about things they know little about.

I've had injuries turn into serious injuries one of which required surgury because I didn't take time off. So being a "tough" is also somethimes being stupid.

ShyHeather
05-22-2011, 01:33 PM
Thanks =)
My one friend who knows what I've been going through for the past year sent me a text and said out of respect to me she wouldn't create drama because she wanted to tell them off. Sometimes I forget that I have people I added from WoW on there, not that their not good people. They just don't know entire story. I'm an open book on a lot of things, and it does get met with some comments that don't always sit well with me. Usually I'm pretty composed, but not last night. Yup, it's a new day. At least today brought good news. I'm down to 272. When I loose 3 more I'll be thrilled, the 270's have been my biggest headache.

Quillie
05-22-2011, 03:53 PM
Maybe they watched too much Biggest Loser with people hurting, puking and crying and think themselves experts? ;-)
You've had an amazing weight loss so far, so obviously you know what you're doing!

fatferretfanatic
05-22-2011, 04:22 PM
What the heck do your FB friends know? If you're merely sore you can workout - if you've got an injury you shouldn't. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. So unless your FB friends are doctors and willing to come check out your injury in person they should stop talking about things they know little about.

I've had injuries turn into serious injuries one of which required surgury because I didn't take time off. So being a "tough" is also somethimes being stupid.

What he said. Your friends really don't know what they're talking about. Take a break if you need-better to not work out one day and heal than work out once and not again for a long while because you hurt yourself. Don't let those meanies get you down

kaplods
05-22-2011, 05:30 PM
If you're easily crushed by other people's comments, you have to protect yourself by not inviting people to comment on your life (enough people will do it without an invitation). That means no blogging, no sharing of personal information online, no youtube videos...

Even sharing here isn't entirely "safe," because people will give advice and comments based on their own experiences and values, which may not be yours. And some people will be diplomatic and say "I may be wrong, but I think you should do it this way" and others will say "you're absolutely wrong, anyone with half a brain would do it this way."

How a person shares their opinions has nothing to do with you. Opinions are just that, and the only one that counts for you, is yours. Build confidence in your choices, because when you're confident in your choices, it doesn't matter what other people say (in fact, you'll probably even feel kind of sorry for the closed minded people who don't understand the situation as well as you do - in this case the people who feel this way could hurt themselves very badly if they're not as smart as you).

Trust your own judgement and your ability to make good decisions for yourself. It will allow you to be open to other people's opinions (or know when to be closed to them), without feeling that those opinions control you in any way.

I trust you (but remember my opinion ultimately doesn't matter).

luckymommy
05-22-2011, 06:02 PM
I've been injured enough times to know that your facebook friends are really wrong in this instance.....but they probably mean well, as others have said. You have so much to be proud of! Hang in there and just keep plugging along. There will come a time when they'll be turning to YOU to ask you for your wisdom! :)

Ookpik
05-22-2011, 06:28 PM
You've done great so far (congrats by the way!) which leads me to wonder if you are experiencing something similar to what I experienced. When I started losing weight, it seemed like everyone I knew had an opinion, and many seem to think that one missed workout session, or one hamburger, will completely derail your progress. They seem to think you have to be PERFECT all the time. I exercise six days a week, take a rest one day because I've read many times that I should be doing this to allow my joints to recuperate, etc. But some people think I should be exercising every single day, or else I must be slacking off. I also don't exercise on days when I feel particularly ill or in pain.

Same goes with food...some people think that I have to eat perfectly, every single day, or else I'm slacking off. I count calories, like many people here, and if I have room in my daily allowance for a chocolate bar and I feel like eating one, I will have it. Sometimes I treat myself to something even more fattening; for me personally, if I don't treat myself to poutine or something every once in a while (every few months), I will not succeed. If I were to tell myself that I couldn't eat chocolate, or cake, or hamburgers, ever again, I would still be 300 pounds instead of 215 because I would not have wanted to lose weight. But that's just me.

Didn't mean to ramble on, just trying to give an example of where they may be coming from. Their comments may be meant well, as they may really be afraid that one missed gym appointment may turn into two, and then more, and then all your hard work will be derailed. Perhaps in the future you might be better off just posting your successes (or nothing at all related to your weight loss journey) on FB rather than missed gym sessions.

JohnP
05-22-2011, 06:31 PM
Hey ShyHeather I didn't even notice before - you've lost 60 lbs!! That is an amazing accomplishment. I doubt any of those FB friends have lost 60 lbs. Keep it up!

dancinginpaint
05-22-2011, 07:20 PM
I don't have much to say that has not already been said. I do think that your progress is awesome. I think safer is better, rather then making a small ailment a huge one. Its just their opinion. You need to decide whose opinions matter and which opinions don't. It might save you from a binge, it might save you heart ache. And remember just because someone said it to you or about you DOES NOT MAKE IT TRUE! So dust yourself off and keep going. You can do it. :hug:

theox
05-22-2011, 11:51 PM
Pretty much what everybody else has said. + Congrats on losing the 3 lbs.!

Unless your Facebook friends are qualified professionals who've conferred with you personally about the nature of your pain, then there's really no reason to give a lot of weight to their advice/criticism, since they're speaking from a position of ignorance.

One possible good thing from this is that it gives you the opportunity to think about how you might handle this sort of criticism without feeling bad or working against yourself (the pizza) in the future if/when you run into it again.

You're doing great! :carrot:

Lovely
05-22-2011, 11:58 PM
Just adding my voice to the others.

Your friends may have meant well, trying to encourage you, but you know your body, and if your body was calling for a rest then no harm done.

You'll get back on track at the very next meal. Be positive =) You can keep at this. You're already doing everything right for you!