Weight Loss Support - Scared of gaining the weight back?




GlamourGirl827
05-18-2011, 10:54 AM
I've lost like 60 lbs, and I'm starting to get scared that I'm going to gain it back. It sounds silly, because of course its within my control. But in the past, this is about the lowest-ish weight I'd get to then I'd stop working out and starting over eating and gain it back.

I feel like this time is different because I'm not "on a diet" but I've made lifestyle chages, but I feel like somehow I'm going to revert back to my old ways and gain it all back. Like this healthier me is only a phase, like it has been in the past.

Anyone else feel this way? Does it ever feel "normal" to be a healthier person? Will I ever break free of the "fat girl on a health kick" feeling that lurks in the back of my mind??? :?:


zoodoo613
05-18-2011, 11:03 AM
I ALWAYS feel this way. I've been at this for 2 months and have lost 16 lbs. but I've done that before, many times. Three-ish months is my standard. And I wasn't extreme, crash dieting in the past. I was making fairly sensible changes. In those past attempts, it was easy while it lasted and then it's like a switch was flipped and I just didn't care a lick about all the good changes I'd made. So yeah, I'm afraid it's going to happen again. But all I can do at this point is to try and keep on soldiering on.

themilesawaygirl
05-18-2011, 11:06 AM
I worry about this too - I keep catching myself thinking about all the foods I can eat once I've lost 'the weight'. I know this is a really bad way to think, as I'm sure I would only gain the weight back. On the other hand, the thought of never ordering pizza or eating a cream cake again fills me with dread. Is being thin really worth it?

I think it's about control - Yes, I can order pizza again and eat the whole thing, but then for the rest of the week be super-healthy and up the workouts.

You say you've made lifestyle changes and that's brilliant, you're definitely on the right track. The longer you maintain, the longer you'll realise that the healthy you isn't a face, it's your new, happier, healthier way of life, and the overweight you is a thing of the past. Stay strong!


sept15lija
05-18-2011, 11:28 AM
I'm scared too. I feel like I'm going to wake up one day and all of my new habits will just melt away, despite being very happy and satisfied every day. Even when I feel like eating extra, and I have a few extra hundred calories, I end up just feeling stuffed and not well anyways so it's become totally not worth it. But somehow I feel like it's all just going to come back! I hope this fear does fade...I'm thinking that it will with time?? I've only been maintaining for a few weeks...actually I'm still slowly losing....need to do a bit more tweaking!

saef
05-18-2011, 11:33 AM
For me, the feeling never goes away that some evening, at the stroke of midnight, I'll be turned back into a pumpkin.

And it's been a couple years now since I lost 100 pounds.

Every day in which the fat remains in remission is still something of a gift.

Look, we don't know what life is going to hand us next. No one ever knows. Things happen & it's hard to maintain a healthy routine & healthy habits. We just have to keep doing the best we can, under whatever circumstances, and be consistent. There really is nothing else we can do.

It's entirely up to us. It's a series of choices we make all day long, every day.

Beach Patrol
05-18-2011, 11:44 AM
I carry that fear every day of my life. I carried it every time I've lost a significant amount of weight (30-40 lbs). Eventually my fears became reality...I've always gained the weight back, PLUS more. :(

HOWEVER ... by losing significant amounts of weight 6-7 times in my adult life, I have proven to myself that IT CAN BE DONE. I can do it! I've done it! I know what has caused me to revert back to old eating habits & stopped exercising in the past. My challenge to myself is to find a way to NOT do that (AGAIN!) Sounds simple, eh? Well, it is! But by no means is it EASY. I fight with myself every single day about what foods I KNOW are not "good for me" ....but they TASTE so heavenly! I fight with myself almost at every meal "wow, that was delicious! I want some more!!" ....And hey, I'm a physical kinda broad, but some days I just want to mellow out in front of the boobtube & be a lazy chica! UGH!

So I *fear* that I will never beat that fear. Even tho I'm not at goal on *this round of weight loss*, I still fear gaining back up to my highest weight (192). And even when I was at 128 about 12 years ago, I STILL had that fat feeling ("why can't I get down to 120????" etc) and feared each little pound that showed on the scale, even when it was clearly water weight fluctuation.

For me, the bottom line is I FEAR FAT. In all its forms. I don't think I'll ever NOT fear it. And maybe that fear is outlandish, & maybe it hinders me somehow... but maybe, just maybe, it's a healthy fear in its own way & that's what's kept me from being 250 lbs (or more).

JoJoJo2
05-18-2011, 11:50 AM
I'm afraid, too. And I've been maintaining a 60+ lb. weight loss for several years now.

I think the thing that sticks in our minds is that a huge percentage of individuals who have lost weight regain it. It's scary!

However I weigh myself daily so I can nip any regains in the bud. I continue to eat carefully, stressing the healthy mix of foods. I continue to push myself to exercise. I'm hopeful . . . . :wave:

ShanIAm
05-18-2011, 11:52 AM
I keep catching myself thinking about all the foods I can eat once I've lost 'the weight'. I know this is a really bad way to think, as I'm sure I would only gain the weight back. On the other hand, the thought of never ordering pizza or eating a cream cake again fills me with dread. Is being thin really worth it?

Wow, this is so ME too! I ate off plan last night and the scale registered a gain this morning. I know for a fact that it was water retention (the soup I ate might as well been a bowl of salt) but it's things like that that scare me. I endulged in a creamy, calorie rich food item and my mind is messing with me. I won't be happy until I see that water loss. So, yeah -- is it really worth it?

To that I say, "HECK YEAH!". As long as I am constantly keeping myself in check whether it be in weight loss mode or maintenance. Because I love getting dressed in the morning. I love shaving my skinnier legs. I love my energy. I love looking good in jeans again. I love working out. I love being happy. I love having my smile back. I LOVE ME! Every morning I want to give myself great big :hug::hug::hug:!

I say hold onto that fear and vulnerability because that will give you the incentive to wake up everyday with a renewed resolve to stay healthy and thin.

Congratulations to you (ALL OF YOU) on your tremendous weight loss. Think back to when you started your journey. Do you really want to do that all over again? I think not! :D

Blinky963
05-18-2011, 01:12 PM
This is a real fear for me too. I've lost 125- maintained it for years, gained back 50, lost some, gained some, ended up back at 267, lost down to 190, gained back to 235 and am now at 198. I have finally come to the conclusion that I will have to journal my calories for the rest of my life. If I want pizza I have 2 slices and a big salad- rather than half a pizza and a soda.
I never want to gain that weight back, but I never wanted to gain it in the first place. I will always struggle with this.
I quit smoking a year ago and I still want a cigarette when I get stressed, when I finish a big project (cleaning the house), and at various other trigger activities. I know I don't want to be a smoker, so I don't listen to these cravings. But I can just not buy cigarettes. My food addiction... I feel like I might always be in recovery.

HMM3
05-18-2011, 02:52 PM
I fear this too (even though I haven't really lost that much as of yet - I just fear I can't keep going) - and I'll start not caring .....

... I've had a few setbacks recently and am too scared to hop on the scale....

....Stress at work has always ended my efforts in the past ....

My food plan is all over the place but I have kept up the exercise ... I know I've picked the wrong one if I want to lose weight but i'm hoping I'll get back to a more balanced life soon .....

JohnP
05-18-2011, 02:57 PM
I'm not scared in the slightest.

Understanding that fat loss or gain is a matter of calories and not an arcane science changed everything for me.

My personality is one where I feel I can control most situations and outcomes. Even the ones I know I can't control I know I can contol my reaction to them.

SBD Sass
05-18-2011, 03:52 PM
I am not scared to gain the weight back, but I do remember when I was heavy how bad I felt and how sick I was. I couldn't go back to that if I wanted to. My whole regime is different and I've created new habits. Totally addicted to this lifestyle. Not scared, but if it were to happen it would really be unfortunate and shameful for me.

luckymommy
05-18-2011, 04:01 PM
I have times when I feel I can maintain and others when I worry that a light will be switched for me too and I'll go back to binge eating.

Last night, I watched The Biggest Loser and it was fascinating because they had the finalists record a message to their thinner selves and they watched their heavier selves on the t.v. telling the thinner self to keep at it and to never go back. It really made me cry! I wish I had thought of sending myself this kind of a message as a reminder, but instead, I'll just think back to their messages as a motivator.

It's so easy to fall off track and sabotage myself, but I am going to do my very best to never do that again.

sacha
05-18-2011, 04:05 PM
Yes, I am. I want more kids therefore I KNOW I will face this obstacle again.

Jeannette311
05-18-2011, 08:35 PM
I haven't even lost it yet and I'm already scared of gaining it back because I always do.

ncuneo
05-18-2011, 08:48 PM
Understanding that fat loss or gain is a matter of calories and not an arcane science changed everything for me.

Boy oh boy are you lucky! I say that because I understand that, yet even after the loss, after really loving my "new" healthy lifestyle, adopting and loving exercise, I still struggle every day. I know it's a matter of cals, but that doesn't seem to keep the urge to binge away for me. I guess it depends on your situation, I'm coming to realize we're all wired differently when it comes to food and you just have to find out how you're wired and find that grove that works for you and that's when it comes to losing it and keeping it off.

I'd love to say that maintenance is awesome and easy, but it's hard fricken work and it's WAY harder that weight loss. This is something I've been secretly thinking, but I'm kinda glad I've gained about 10 lbs back because it means I get to go back to weight loss mode which is a simple safe place where I know the terrain and I know what to do, like John said - calories in, calories out. But the other good news is that I'm snapping back after 10 lbs and not 100 so...that is a very positive thing for me, that I feel insure I won't gain it all back.

JohnP
05-18-2011, 09:00 PM
Boy oh boy are you lucky! I say that because I understand that, yet even after the loss, after really loving my "new" healthy lifestyle, adopting and loving exercise, I still struggle every day. I know it's a matter of cals, but that doesn't seem to keep the urge to binge away for me. I guess it depends on your situation, I'm coming to realize we're all wired differently when it comes to food and you just have to find out how you're wired and find that grove that works for you and that's when it comes to losing it and keeping it off.

I'd love to say that maintenance is awesome and easy, but it's hard fricken work and it's WAY harder that weight loss. This is something I've been secretly thinking, but I'm kinda glad I've gained about 10 lbs back because it means I get to go back to weight loss mode which is a simple safe place where I know the terrain and I know what to do, like John said - calories in, calories out. But the other good news is that I'm snapping back after 10 lbs and not 100 so...that is a very positive thing for me, that I feel insure I won't gain it all back.

I am lucky in two ways.

1) I am very big. Even though my BMR is low for my size I still maintain around 2800 calories so unless I'm really making bad choices I can eat a lot.

2) I found and love intermittent fasting. Since I don't eat till 2 PM I am able to eat larger and more satisfying meals.

Between the two of those things - maintaining is a breeze. Of course I still have to watch it - I can eat with the best of them. :D

Snoofie
05-19-2011, 08:58 AM
I try not to even think about the possibility of gaining everything back, because I'm not even halfway to where I want to be yet...and thinking about the possibility of gaining it all back would most likely send me into the binge to end all binges.

But, I think that's where my determination to think of this as anything but a "diet" comes in. I know that in a thread recently there was a bit of a debate about the actual meaning of the word versus the psychological meaning, and for me, I cannot think of this as a diet, or I will fail. End of story, case closed. Because all my life, I have witnessed people who have "gone on a diet", lost the amount of weight they wanted to lose, and then stopped "the diet." If I do that -- if I get to my goal weight and give up what I've been doing -- then the weight's going to come back.

So obviously, for me personally, I can't think of this as a diet, no matter what the actual meaning of the word is. It's different for everyone, of course, but there you have it.

Right now I am at my lowest weight in about 15 years, and I can't really imagine what it'll be like to arrive at my goal weight (I still have 52 pounds to go.) But I'm sure that once I get there, I'm going to try my damndest to remember, every day, the work I put into getting there, as well as the health benefits I've given myself. Hopefully that will be enough to keep me from gaining any back.

LisaP916
05-19-2011, 10:56 AM
I had gastric bypass surgery and lost 150 pounds. I gained half my weight back. The regain started (the first 50 pounds of it) because of medication, and I kind of said to myself, "Well, ****, if all that work has already gone to waste, screw it!" I got lazy, both in my activity and in my food choices. I got complacent and started grazing all day. I ignored everything I'd been taught until one day I couldn't ignore it anymore.

What's keeping me going this time is that I've done it before. I KNOW I can lose the weight. I KNOW what I look like and what I feel like at a smaller size. And I KNOW I do not want to look or feel like THIS again EVER.

I got married this past October. My wedding pictures are beautiful because we had an amazing photographer and we are clearly so happy and so in love. But part of me hates those pictures, because it's the FAT me in those pictures. I can never redo that day and put the thin me into those photos. I looked beautiful, to be sure, but I was still fat.

We have a post-wedding session reserved with our photographers. It was supposed to be a "rock the dress" shoot, but my DH and I decided to wait until we've each lost more weight and do some photos this fall for our anniversary. He'll be about forty pounds lighter, and with some hard work, I'll be about 65 pounds lighter, than the day we were married. So, while it won't be a redo, it will be a nice reminder of how we spent the first year of our marriage - helping each other get healthy.

4xcharm
05-19-2011, 11:11 AM
I call myself 4xcharm, because I've been here 3 times before, and gained the weight and self-despising back. I joined a weight support group this time. TOPS, and so far the weekly weigh-ins have kept me on track. My goal, I think keeping a fresh goal in mind also helps, is to keep to my goal weight for a year. 3 more months to go. It is very hard....but it can be done!

Jelma
05-19-2011, 01:45 PM
I have lost this weight once before and this time I am keeping it off! I do have concerns that I will gain it back sometimes but I have been losing slowly, I started September of last year. I think I have lost all of 6 pounds since January but I am more toned and stronger than I ever have been.

All my attempts in the past were to lose quickly and revert right back to my old habits- no exercise and huge portions. This time I have found a love for pilates, I can't imagine skipping a week of it. Also, my love of cooking has gotten stronger and even though there might be a week or so where life gets in the way and I don't cook I know that I will come back to it and get back on track.

Slim CB
05-19-2011, 02:21 PM
I am. I am just 5 months into maintaining and I still worry about it. Especially given the fact that I do not have children yet I wonder if I will be able to regain my figure after having babies. But my approach so far is working - I take it a day at a time and I make sure I weigh every morning to keep tabs on myself.

SBD Sass
05-19-2011, 02:24 PM
Boy oh boy are you lucky! I say that because I understand that, yet even after the loss, after really loving my "new" healthy lifestyle, adopting and loving exercise, I still struggle every day. I know it's a matter of cals, but that doesn't seem to keep the urge to binge away for me. I guess it depends on your situation, I'm coming to realize we're all wired differently when it comes to food and you just have to find out how you're wired and find that grove that works for you and that's when it comes to losing it and keeping it off.

I'd love to say that maintenance is awesome and easy, but it's hard fricken work and it's WAY harder that weight loss. This is something I've been secretly thinking, but I'm kinda glad I've gained about 10 lbs back because it means I get to go back to weight loss mode which is a simple safe place where I know the terrain and I know what to do, like John said - calories in, calories out. But the other good news is that I'm snapping back after 10 lbs and not 100 so...that is a very positive thing for me, that I feel insure I won't gain it all back.

Totally agree here! But I find it easier now that's it been over 2 years maintaining for me. I know what makes me gain and what doesn't so it is easier now that I'm trying to drop another 25lbs...weight loss is hard right now. LOL!

MelKnee
05-19-2011, 04:17 PM
I haven't even lost it yet and I'm already scared of gaining it back because I always do.

Me, too. :( I've yo-yoed so much in the last 25ish yrs. Lose 20, gain 40, lose 40, gain 30. Lather, rinse, repeat.

This time, I am doing the emotional work I need to do. I am figuring out what triggers binges. I am figuring out how to cope with stress without food. I am figuring out how to have fun without food.

blancheneige
05-19-2011, 07:46 PM
That isn't an unreasonable fear. Most people gain the weight back. Maintenance only works when you've accomplished a real lifestyle change, and most people don't change their lifestyles when they lose weight, so most of them gain the weight back.

themilesawaygirl
05-20-2011, 05:48 AM
Lisa - your story brought a tear to my eye, in a good way! It's lovely to hear that you have found love, and you're so positive about getting healthy with your husband - I wish you both the best of luck on your journey to a healthy happy life together!

themilesawaygirl
05-20-2011, 05:51 AM
... even though there might be a week or so where life gets in the way and I don't cook I know that I will come back to it and get back on track.

This has really helped me to stay hopeful. It's great to know that you can deal with life getting in the way and get straight back on track again, I hope I can have the same attitude to you once I reach maintenance!

LisaP916
05-20-2011, 08:24 AM
Lisa - your story brought a tear to my eye, in a good way! It's lovely to hear that you have found love, and you're so positive about getting healthy with your husband - I wish you both the best of luck on your journey to a healthy happy life together!

Awww, thanks! I am feeling pretty positive and you want to know why? I've done the depressed and ashamed thing, and it did nothing for me. I just continued to gain and feel awful, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I had two epiphanies this year. First was when my mother told me she'd been diagnosed with diabetes. I knew that I had to get myself in check so that didn't happen to me.

I'm turning 40 in September, and I've been dealing with the angst that comes along with that milestone. My second wake up call came in March, when two college friends passed away - one by an "undisclosed" reason (and we can't get any other info!) and one from brain cancer. Both of these men were 40 years old, and as I cried over their deaths, as I considered the families they left behind, I kept thinking they were too young to be taken. Then it hit me - if 40 is too young to die, then it can't be too young too live.

J didn't choose to have brain cancer. He didn't choose to leave his wife and three small children. He was a vibrant, funny, intelligent, generally awesome person who had to deal with too much in his young life. If J could fight his battle so valiantly, what excuse did I have for sitting on my couch, crying about being fat and turning 40?

So that was it. This is something within my control. No more whining, no more angst, no more excuses. Time to be positive and live my life.