Weight Loss Support - Utterly depressed and embarassed




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dinomama
05-16-2011, 02:43 PM
I have been on and off of the getting fit and heathy- state of mind for years and needless to say have not succeeded. I dont know if its turning 40 or just that my wt. is more than ever but I feel almost overwhelmed at the thought of the work required to lose and maintain the wt. loss I need.
I had alot of stuff happen this wkend and it really put some bells off in my head, we are going to move and went to check out the area and see the sights, none of my clothes from last year fit and went to get some more to no avail, drove 5 hrs in clothes that r too tight, kids wanted to go swimming, I sat in a chair poolside that i could barely fit in -went to look at a house and went up and down stairs like ONE flight and was holding on 2 the rail for dear life UP and Down them, my oldest said " look how funny mom wabbles" the kid was not being mean no one laughed but just said what he saw......... got back to the hotel and the mirrors in the bathroom said it all and I just feel awful!:(


Reenabeana
05-16-2011, 02:50 PM
I can completly relate to how you feel. Nothing is more frustrating than having nothing that fits and not being able to just go out and buy something new because nothing there fits either. I had a similar experience last month and that was sort of the last straw. I can't live my life anymore being uncomfortable in my clothes and not being able to fit in a chair. You just need to be strong and make a decision to make a change for the better. It's not easy, it's a huge challenge, but it is totally worth it. After I decided I couldn't live like that anymore I started a diet program and decided that May is my new beginning and I have already lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks. You can totally do the same thing. You will feel great and so proud of your self. I hope you take this past weekend as a breaking point and do what is best fot YOU to make YOU happy!! I'm sending you all of my positive thoughts and I wish you nothing but the very best of luck!

sisypheanme
05-16-2011, 03:13 PM
I was at a point I felt that way also. Until you can really commit to a lifestyle change you will be in this rut.....at least I was. I finally woke up and decided enough is enough. I had asthma and that really put the fire on it. I went from a size 12 (vanity sized) to 00 and 0. I was feeling exactly how you are. You can do this with commitment. Go walking and start eating healthy whole foods. Stop processed foods and eating out...you will see the changes and it will motivate you more. Good luck!


ShanIAm
05-16-2011, 03:34 PM
Although I have never weighed over 200 pounds I do understand the frustration and helplessness you feel. One time I had a hard time tying my shoe laces and the longer I was bent over the longer I had to hold my breath. I almost passed out! We all hit our bottom and maybe this is yours and that is why you are here. The minute you make the decision to live healthier is the minute you will FEEL back in control. Take advange of the wonderful things that summer offers. The fresh veggies, juicy fruits, swimming, walking, etc. This is the time to make a fresh start because this time next year you'll be driving your kids swimming in a new bathing suit, adorable pair of capri's and the cutest sandles you'll ever see! :) Oh, and you will be joining your kids IN the pool, not by the side of it. :D

beerab
05-16-2011, 04:03 PM
I feel your pain- I've gone through my ups and downs and right now I'm going through a down time where I'm not taking care of myself like I should :(

We just have to remember LIFESTYLE change. Overall I'm healthier than I have been in years- but I just slip up sometimes!

I'm also moving to a whole new area and changing jobs and man is it STRESSFUL! *hugs*

Nola Celeste
05-16-2011, 04:59 PM
I'm sorry you've felt so overwhelmed. :(

If there's one thing I wish I could've known at my high weight that I know now, it's that the benefits of weight loss don't happen only once you've transformed yourself into the "after" picture. They happen during weight loss as well.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed at the amount of weight I have yet to lose. I'm a slow loser, so even though the number isn't big, it's likely that the time it takes me will be. Over the past week and a half, the scale's barely moved, and I want to wring my hands at this mini-stall.

But that is only a tiny piece of the picture. In a few months and 40 pounds, I have gone from someone who never really felt physically comfortable, had trouble with stairs, and couldn't walk to the store a block and a half away without becoming red-faced and miserable into...well, into my old self. My REALLY old self, that is--the self of my girlhood, the self who wore pink and liked riding her bike and lived for summer instead of for supper.

I'm me again, and it didn't take my losing ALL this weight--just some of it.

Please don't feel discouraged at where you are; feel hopeful at where you will be far, far sooner than you think you will. We always think that "when I lose all this weight, I'll enjoy exercise/go swimming/love shopping/feel good about my body." The real truth--the truth that I wish more people knew about losing weight--is that you don't have to wait for those good things to happen.

Every pound that you lose counts. Every pound will make you feel a little more comfortable, a little more energetic. It doesn't matter how long it takes to lose weight when the benefits are not distant and hard to see, but immediate and clear. You WILL feel like a new person after even fifteen or twenty pounds. I feel amazing after forty of them.

Don't wait until the "after" to feel good; enjoy the "during," too. :hug:

dragonlady1978
05-16-2011, 06:48 PM
I'm really sorry you are feeling this way, but you can choose to turn this into a good thing. Sometimes it takes the shock of being confronted with the reality to get us motivated to change that reality.

I understand feeling overwhelmed, you have to make a conscious choice to see it from another perspective. One day at a time is the only way this works. Focus on eating right today, and don't even think past it....that won't help you. Set a goal that doesn't sound so intimidating. Ten pounds, twenty pounds, it doesn't matter because ANY pounds down will improve your health and self esteem.

Equally important is not dwelling on the past. If I harped on how many times I've been in this same boat I'd have given up years ago.

The good news is that you have support right here at your fingertips, anytime you need it. Start a new life tomorrow, you CAN make it a little better every day from here on out.

Gale02
05-16-2011, 06:55 PM
If there's one thing I wish I could've known at my high weight that I know now, it's that the benefits of weight loss don't happen only once you've transformed yourself into the "after" picture. They happen during weight loss as well.


^^This, for sure! I am down 35 lbs and already I feel tons better! I can walk miles and miles, I can work out at the gym, I can play a (halfway decent) volleyball game with my friends, but most importantly (to me) I can keep up with my 2 kiddos. I don't worry about my 2 year old running ahead because I can catch him now. I don't have a problem carrying my 8 month old through the store, it doesn't bother me at all anymore.

It's a lot of work, but there are benefits along the way as well as at the end of the road. Just start. Do something. Even if that something is small, it's better than nothing! Replace one serving of chips with a serving of veggies, use 2% milk instead of whole milk, walk for 5 minutes... small changes are still changes and you will see results from them.

Good luck, we're all here for you!

eclipse
05-16-2011, 07:18 PM
If there's one thing I wish I could've known at my high weight that I know now, it's that the benefits of weight loss don't happen only once you've transformed yourself into the "after" picture. They happen during weight loss as well.



This is SO important for anyone considering starting a weightloss journey to realize. I started a little heavier than you are, OP, so I know where you're coming from. It seemed so overwhelming to think about losing over 130 lbs! But I felt so much better even 10 lbs down, and it just got exponentially better with every increment I lost. When I got down under 200 lbs, I remember thinking, "I want to lose more weight, but even if I stall here for the rest of my life and never lose another ounce, I'll be fine." And I meant it - because I felt great, like this little dancing carrot!:carrot::lol: I've lost almost 50 more lbs since then, and it keeps getting better - but it's okay to take it in small increments. So, just start. Do something - anything - to start moving in the right direction. You might not see huge results on the scale until you full implement a whole plan, but if you're not ready to sit down and plan all your meals, or start exercising an hour a day - just do one thing and do it well. I started out where you are over a year and a half ago, and I'm over 130 lbs down now, less than 5 lbs from the goal I set back then. It boggles my mind :dizzy:, but it's happened, and I'm the one who did it! (that part is the :dizzy: part, because when I started, it seemed like huge weight loss was something some other ladies could do, but not me. Here I am, though, unless I'm hallucinating!) :hug:

milmin2043
05-17-2011, 01:18 AM
If there's one thing I wish I could've known at my high weight that I know now, it's that the benefits of weight loss don't happen only once you've transformed yourself into the "after" picture. They happen during weight loss as well.


I agree with this as well. After 2 weeks I felt so much better. I think getting all of the processed, junk food out of my diet was the biggest contributor to this. I no longer felt like I was living my life in a haze. I also felt more like exercising and participating in life.

All of us know how you feel. We've all been there. You just need to show up and to start. That's going to be the biggest move and the one that will keep you moving forward.

Best wishes to you.

CJZee
05-17-2011, 07:34 AM
"... and lived for summer instead of for supper"

What a fabulous line, I love it and -- if you don't mind -- I will probably steal it.

To the OP, what Nola Celeste says is true. I started out exactly where you are. I was so sad and overwhelmed. I had tried numerous diets and could never seem to stick with them. In other areas of my life I was perfection and could do anything, but in the world of eating I was a mess.

First, I decided to quit worrying about what I weighed. I decided that success would be measured by what I did instead of what I weighed. If that sounds obtuse, it wasn't for me. For example, I knew I could exercise 3x per week but I wasn't at all sure I could lose weight. So I re-defined success as exercising 3x per week as a start.

Then I decided that I could cut sugar totally out of my diet, and I did. Sometimes I binged on other food, but knowing I was exercising and had cut sugar out made me feel more successful. And I started losing weight.

I didn't actually go on a diet per se until some months into my program. I just started adding exercise, then cutting out sugar, then promising myself I could eat anything and as much as I wanted just so long as it was "real" whole food (not packaged). (I have a real fear of not being able to eat copious amounts of food if I feel I "need" to. This urge doesn't happen very often now, but when it does, I eat copious amounts of food but I just stick to "real" whole foods.)

At some point, I started counting carbs after reading things like Gary Taubes "Good Calories, Bad Calories" and I realized what I had done was inadvertently go on a relatively low carb diet. The huge cravings had gone away and, after reading the book, I realized that even though I was fat my body had been unable to access my fat for energy so my body was urging me to eat because it felt like I was starving. This was an "aha" moment for me!

At this point, I was losing significant weight and realized it was because my cutting out sugar and refined foods had inadvertently lowered my carb intake so I quit feeling starved all the time. I now had my plan!

I don't know if this helps, but for me redefining "success" was crucial in my process. This lead me to the plan, but I would probably never have gotten there without the process I went through.

caryesings
05-17-2011, 08:18 AM
Like others, I recommend focusing on small steps of healthy behaviours rather than progress on the scale. With that approach, I finally lost the extra 100 lbs. I had been carrying around for 20 years.

My first step was eating the recommended amounts of veg/fruits per day. Trust me, if you actually get this much produce in you, you have very little room left for junk. Even after 2 years I can rarely get both the veg and fruit in on the same day if I eat the appropriate serving amounts.

beerab
05-17-2011, 10:23 AM
Well said Nola I definitely agree! I've lost just about 50 lbs and am a total new person even though I'm halfway to my goal! :)

dinomama
05-17-2011, 01:45 PM
I am so humbled by all the responces I have gotten and each one of you have taught me something. I totally agree about the processed food... we ate out the entire wkend and my entire family was sick and bloated and felt like crap Sun evening. A day by day plan for now will maybe lift my spirits and give me some encouragement. I dont want to carry all of this with me when we move. I am sure some of you watch OWN- addicted 2 food but the councelor on the show said "people with eating disorders develop personal relationships with food instead of with people" and the is me to a T!
Is there somewhere on the forum where people check in on there progress or PM one another for accountability? ect... ( sorry for those pro's out there but I haven't had a chance to educate myself fully on 3FC) Blessings!!!

tryhardforlife
05-17-2011, 11:10 PM
I'm sorry you've felt so overwhelmed. :(

If there's one thing I wish I could've known at my high weight that I know now, it's that the benefits of weight loss don't happen only once you've transformed yourself into the "after" picture. They happen during weight loss as well.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed at the amount of weight I have yet to lose. I'm a slow loser, so even though the number isn't big, it's likely that the time it takes me will be. Over the past week and a half, the scale's barely moved, and I want to wring my hands at this mini-stall.

But that is only a tiny piece of the picture. In a few months and 40 pounds, I have gone from someone who never really felt physically comfortable, had trouble with stairs, and couldn't walk to the store a block and a half away without becoming red-faced and miserable into...well, into my old self. My REALLY old self, that is--the self of my girlhood, the self who wore pink and liked riding her bike and lived for summer instead of for supper.

I'm me again, and it didn't take my losing ALL this weight--just some of it.

Please don't feel discouraged at where you are; feel hopeful at where you will be far, far sooner than you think you will. We always think that "when I lose all this weight, I'll enjoy exercise/go swimming/love shopping/feel good about my body." The real truth--the truth that I wish more people knew about losing weight--is that you don't have to wait for those good things to happen.

Every pound that you lose counts. Every pound will make you feel a little more comfortable, a little more energetic. It doesn't matter how long it takes to lose weight when the benefits are not distant and hard to see, but immediate and clear. You WILL feel like a new person after even fifteen or twenty pounds. I feel amazing after forty of them.

Don't wait until the "after" to feel good; enjoy the "during," too.

Good post!! That is great advice.

:hug:


Good post!! That is great advice.

finn
05-18-2011, 07:05 AM
remember that failure isn't falling down. Its not getting back up again.

Truffle
05-22-2011, 08:18 PM
Subscribing to this excellent thread, because I want to remember all these helpful suggestions.

Mickeypnd
05-22-2011, 08:29 PM
Im sorry hun. I think we have all been there. and while this has been a hard weekend use this as motivation for a healthier, happier lifestyle!

:hug:

and I was wondering, do you live close to Avon? I saw you live in North east Ohio.

shannonmb
05-22-2011, 08:40 PM
I am loving this thread, too, and I love every post!

dinomama, this thread is really helping me to reflect on the past year -- this Wed, May 25th will mark a year to the day when I was finally so fed up with how I felt that I made the decision to change my lifestyle and my future! And what do you know, I just turned 40 back in Feb, too! I swear I could have written your post then.

What NolaCeleste said is really resonating with me (along with every other post she's ever written here!). You don't have to even come close to goal to REALLY start reaping the benefits of a healthier lifestyle. Here I am, 243 lbs still and with nearly 100 more pounds left to lose, and I'm telling you I feel like a completely different person than I did at 350. I am so empowered right now, the amount of physical work I can accomplish is unbelievable compared to where I started. I feel not just better, but pretty darn GOOD right now, and I'm SOOO inspired and motivated to see how much better it's gonna get as I get down further! I truly felt at the beginning as though I was winding down to an early death -- and now I feel like I have a new lease on life and that the sky is the limit!

It really took me getting to that place you are posting about for me to finally get real about my mortality, my quality of life, and what I want for my future. When you are ready, it is VERY possible to take this all the way. I really believe that now, and I KNOW it is true for you, too! :hug:

WLGirl1
06-25-2011, 05:25 PM
I've been there sweetie. I just use it as an incentive to be better!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

exjordanaire
06-25-2011, 06:56 PM
I agree with all these ladies who have posted.

Sometimes, we have to hit rock bottom to realize we've hit it and even though we have to claw and kick our way inch by inch, we get closer and closer to the top and further and further away from the bottom. Keep your head up and keep looking forward and as they say, "Don't look down."

The reason my weight has never came off is because I have been discouraged by myself and/or my surroundings and situations I go through. I put too much stress on myself over all the things I should be doing and shouldn't be doing. There are so many exercises and so many foods I shouldn't eat - I'd crack and binge and feel guilty, so I wouldn't even exercise.

So this time I'm taking it one step at a time. I've been unhealthy for years and I know that I am not going to become a completely healthy person over night - this is going to take time too.

Each week I'm giving myself a new goal. As for my first week, I promised myself I would not touch another Cola and I would walk at least 20 minutes, 5x a week. Those two things are small but significant changes for me. Each small step is one step closer to my goal and I just have to remember that.

Stay motivated, OP! We will all have our bad days but just remember how proud and good you will feel about yourself in the long run.

blueheron777
06-26-2011, 10:07 AM
This is such a terrific site to find inspiration, both from people' stories and from the snippits of wisdom people post.

I think first you have to hit rock bottom--sounds like you did.

Then you have to want to lose that weight more than you want to stay in your comfortable but humiliating rut.

I make post-it notes of many of the sayings I found on this site and put them in my bedroom and inside the bathroom medicine cabinet, so I would see them every morning. The most motivating one was that you can live the hard life of a thin person or the hard life of a fat person--it's your choice.

The other one was: "Don't let what you want at this moment sabotage what you want for the rest of your life".

As others have said, you will see wonderful things happen to your body and your spirits with every small loss along the way. If you set small goals, you can reach them and that will inspire you to reach the next one.

All the best on the journey that will set you free.