General chatter - Is it healthy to fantasize about your life?




GeeDee
05-15-2011, 11:15 PM
Is it healthy to fantasize about your life being different? Meaning when you lay down you actually have detailed daydreams bout your life being different?

I fantasize constantly about different situations.... 1 is that I have this gorgeous home and a super cute body and own my own little business and I really go into detail and play these scenarios over in my head over and over until I fall a sleep. So is that healthy to do? At the moment that I'm thinking about them it makes me really happy but then sometimes when I wake up to reality it makes me bummed and sad that those fantasies will never be reality. Does anyone else do this?


ButterCup85
05-15-2011, 11:30 PM
I'm into the law of attraction- which basically means be positive get positive, be negative get negative. It's great you're thinking of wonderful things- but then you get upset you don't have them so in the end you wont get them because your negative energy pertaining to those things is kind of a blockage.

I'm not saying you have to believe it! I will say, be positive, even with the law of attraction I don't believe everything, but being in a good mood, and being positive and only focusing on what makes me feel good, my life has changed dramatically. You don't realize how negative you are about things, people, life, yourself until you stop to think about it!

Think about what makes you feel good, when you feel good you are aligned with your true self. Pretty simply, if it makes you feel bad don't give it attention.

Just my 2 cents!

Lovely
05-15-2011, 11:34 PM
Of course it's healthy. It's completely normal to daydream.

I constantly daydream about all sorts of things.


Nola Celeste
05-15-2011, 11:54 PM
Sure, it's normal.

It's also normal to believe that at least some of those fantasies can become reality, too, so don't assume that they'll never happen for you. It doesn't sound like you're dreaming about your fame eclipsing Beyonce's or about having more money than Bill Gates; you're dreaming about owning a nice house and running a business. Those are definitely achievable goals. It might take you a while and your path might be circuitous, but you can certainly reach them. :)

As for the super-cute body, you're here and working on that, so more power to you. :D

Daydreams are only problematic when they keep you from acting on things that you need to do in your daily life. I can fantasize all I want about writing and selling a novel, but I can't take too much time away from cleaning and cooking and working in the here and now to dream about it. If you're using your daydreams to help define your goals or just put a smile on your face as you drift to sleep, that's totally healthy.

If you're consciously choosing to daydream rather than face a reality you don't much like, well...then it might be time to set about improving that reality. I don't mean big stuff, I mean just little things--clean up, paint your bedroom, some kind of positive change that makes you happy and gives you a sense of accomplishment.

GeeDee
05-16-2011, 01:42 AM
Thanks for the feedback. I was feeling kind of guilty about thinking about this other life so much... its so great to imagine I often wish that when I go to sleep I could somehow jump into this fantasy life... wouldn't that be great to be able to control :)

Scarlett
05-16-2011, 02:20 AM
I think everyone does it, but it's not good for you. I'm a big believer in Buddhist teachings/new age spirituality/ Eckhart Tolle, etc. A common theme in all this is the idea of being conscious and present. Being present and firmly entrenched in the present moment brings peace. I personally daydream and fantasize much more when life is not going well and it feeds the negativity. Also remember that fantasy is not real. In your day dream the movie star/singer/athlete doesn't fart, leave his laundry on the floor, give you mixed signals, or any of the other things that "real" people do. The day dreaming creates an impossible standard for anyone to live up to.

During the Royal Wedding saga, I found myself fantasizing about my own wedding. I'm single, overweight and not even ready for a relationship, forget about a marriage. I would stay up late looking at dresses, rings, local venues and listening to love songs. More than a few times I would get so caught up in my fantasy, the hours would pass and next thing I knew it would be 3 or 4am. I'd finally go to bed exhausted but wouldn't be able to sleep because I was so anxious and wound up by all this wedding stuff. It ended up making me feel unfulfilled and insecure. It sadly took me a few days to realize that the wedding daydreaming was what was making me feel so anxious, depressed and sleepless.

MiZTaCCen
05-16-2011, 11:57 AM
I think it's healthy, I day dream all the time about different situations on how I want things to happen in my life. I think if we didn't dream we wouldn't have things to achieve for. For instance I dream of getting out of debt going back to school (yes it will happen for me because I'm busting my *** off with two jobs.) I dream I'll be 140 pounds I will be eventually when I get off my lazy as and take the first step on moving on from 155. and I dream one day I will get my GSG, it's a working progress but it's in the work and even if I don't get him haha it's fun to dream about different situations and senarios that can happen. :p

It's normal, it's life and if you want something you work at it and you get it. Might not always get the exact guy you want but theres always someone who's better then the one you wanted before (in my eyes).

Nola Celeste
05-16-2011, 04:48 PM
I think there's a difference between the kind of fantasizing that is attainable and self-governed and the kind that is random and relates very little to what you are capable of controlling. The first kind of daydreaming is almost more like brainstorming or rehearsing; you're defining and refining your goals. The second kind has nothing to do with you or even with your real future, it's just a way to avoid present unhappiness.

Seeing future-you as slimmer and more successful is a good thing in my opinion, especially if you use your daydreaming time to brainstorm ways to reach those goals. Seeing future-you as a lottery winner or as a rich lover's plaything is not so helpful because it implies you want something--you don't care what, just something--to take you away from your current life. That'd imply you need to work a little bit on improving your reality. Those aren't daydreams as much as they are pure escapist fantasy.

There's nothing escapist about seeing yourself as a successful homeowner who enjoys her life at a healthy weight, though. Those are things a lot of us are working on. :)

Scarlett
05-16-2011, 05:43 PM
Well said Nola. Agree 150% ;)

downsizer55
05-16-2011, 07:31 PM
Like Scarlett said.......well said Nola and I totally agree too.

DixC Chix
05-16-2011, 07:33 PM
Heck yeah!!

I can only tell you about a couple of them!! :o ;)

Actually, there is a difference between a fantasy and a vision.

I have a vision of being healthy weight and fantasy of meeting Mr. Right.

Visualization is positive, forward thinking and based in reality.

Fantasy is like a Hollywood movie, fully scripted, plotted out, perfect cast, with a known ending - usually Happily ever After!!

I have stared at my family room and wondered about what it will look like when its clean again! ;)

I visualize how I will dust, vacuum, clean etc. I fantasize about hiring a maid.

mypinkpolkadot
05-16-2011, 07:42 PM
I day dream about being with my bf, getting married, being thin, being a mommy.. lots of things... Its perfectly normal... It may help you reach the dreams, make you work harder to get to it.

bargoo
05-16-2011, 09:28 PM
I think it is perfectly normal to daydream

krampus
05-16-2011, 09:41 PM
I dunno if you watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, but there is an episode in which a painfully shy guy gets very caught up in his "fantasy life" on the Holodeck (you can program anything you want there - horseback riding, exercise programs, fairy tales, etc) and forgets about the real world. He takes it too far.

As long as you are grounded in reality and not avoiding your life, it's perfectly normal and healthy to daydream. If your fantasizing is as "constant" as you say it is, make sure you incorporate "real" work toward your fantasies into your life so you're not just wasting time.

GeeDee
05-16-2011, 11:56 PM
Heck yeah!!

I can only tell you about a couple of them!! :o ;)

Actually, there is a difference between a fantasy and a vision.

I have a vision of being healthy weight and fantasy of meeting Mr. Right.

Visualization is positive, forward thinking and based in reality.

Fantasy is like a Hollywood movie, fully scripted, plotted out, perfect cast, with a known ending - usually Happily ever After!!

I have stared at my family room and wondered about what it will look like when its clean again! ;)

I visualize how I will dust, vacuum, clean etc. I fantasize about hiring a maid.

LMAO! Yes, I often visualize a spotless house too! hahaha :D

Lovely
05-17-2011, 12:04 AM
I dunno if you watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, but there is an episode in which a painfully shy guy gets very caught up in his "fantasy life" on the Holodeck (you can program anything you want there - horseback riding, exercise programs, fairy tales, etc) and forgets about the real world. He takes it too far.

Are you talking about the episode where Barclay merges with the computer, and he's got complete control of the ship? *adjusts her nerd glasses*

More on fantasies: I still sometimes imagine I'm a Sailorsenshi... transforming into cute outfits and kicking butt.

Sometimes I fantasize what it'd be like to live on Mars with robots.

Other times I just imagine that laundry could do itself. *shrug* I don't think there's anything wrong with any of it.

Healthy and creative.

Scoot
05-17-2011, 06:15 AM
I wonder about this often, because I also spend a pretty ridiculous amount of time fantasizing and daydreaming. Most of the time, my fantasies are within the realm of possibility (like having a fit, toned body or traveling to far-away places), but too often they contain a lot of things which are outside of my control (like how other people will react to seeing me). The fantasies themselves typically make me feel great, and often motivate me, and they don't make me hate my reality any more than I normally do, but I do start to feel bad when I over-analyze whether or not it's healthy! I have to indulge somewhere, though. Better fantasy than food, I figure!

RachaelJ
05-17-2011, 09:36 AM
I think it's healthy to dream and want a good life for yourself. I don't think it's healthy to be envious of others and want their life. OP, sounds like youre dreaming of positive things for yourself.

I do that often. I'm still fairly young and working on my Master's. I'm applying to Law School after graduation and pray that God works out his plan for me. I do understand that money isn't everything, I just want to be comfortable and I have faith that my family, career and life will come together as it should. It's nothing wrong with a little forecasting the future.;)

Chubbykins
05-17-2011, 12:22 PM
Ever thought of having roleplay games with others?
You might simply be a natural roleplayer and if you share your fantasies/worlds with other players it is a very creative and fun game to play. It has helped some of my friends actually gain real confidense in their lives and experience to roleplay stuff with made-up characters and scenarios.

FallingAwake
05-18-2011, 12:52 AM
I think visualizing your future is healthy, planning your future is healthy, as long as you don't forget about the present. I have been told in the past that I fantasize about my future too much, and I have to agree, I did.

I visualize myself healthier, I visualize my future once I am done with Uni... I play scenarios in my head and imagine entire conversations... I think once you get to the point where you're creating entire conversations in your head you've gone too far, because you can lose yourself in an unrealistic world. It's healthy to dream about them every now and then, but don't catch yourself up in it too much.

CrystalZ10
05-18-2011, 02:40 AM
Of course it's healthy. It's completely normal to daydream.

I constantly daydream about all sorts of things.
I agree. I used to fall asleep to happy thoughts and imagining me being witty, funny, tons of friends, ect..I never could imagine me as skinny though.

Now when my DH is stressing over his job and housing situation, we get through by the skin of our teeth, but I will daydream about the perfect job falling into his lap, or taking away his worries. I know its not real, and I am able to face reality with a happy face, so I don't feel like there is any harm in doing this. :)

Just Tabitha
05-18-2011, 02:45 PM
I think it's healthy and natural to daydream. It's a great way to get clear about what you really want.

But I also think we can set ourselves up for depression if we idolize those dreams too much, then fail to act on them. Wishing & dreaming about something we'll never have is just depressing! A beautiful dream is exciting, if we know it's in our future. It's a huge letdown if we think it's unreachable.

If those are things you really want, set some small, consistent goals to move in that direction. Studies show that vivid, emotional daydreams - combined with consistent, steady action - almost guarantees success.

Go for it!

maita88
07-17-2011, 07:55 PM
I'm into the law of attraction- which basically means be positive get positive, be negative get negative. It's great you're thinking of wonderful things- but then you get upset you don't have them so in the end you wont get them because your negative energy pertaining to those things is kind of a blockage.

I'm not saying you have to believe it! I will say, be positive, even with the law of attraction I don't believe everything, but being in a good mood, and being positive and only focusing on what makes me feel good, my life has changed dramatically. You don't realize how negative you are about things, people, life, yourself until you stop to think about it!

Think about what makes you feel good, when you feel good you are aligned with your true self. Pretty simply, if it makes you feel bad don't give it attention.

Just my 2 cents!

My mom brought the law of attraction to me a couple years ago. We both try to follow it as closely as possible.

I say daydreaming is perfectly normal. I do it all the time, thinking about my future, the house I want to have, the money I want to make, etc. I'm hoping that by dreaming about it I will cosmically start pulling it towards myself. I say day dream away!

Ookpik
07-18-2011, 01:53 AM
I daydream all the time about the life I want to have...it motivates me to try to make the dreams come true. For instance, I was motivated to lose weight by a years-long dream of becoming a Mountie (Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer, for those not in Canada). That is what got me started on the weight loss journey in the first place, and if I was out jogging, for example, and wanted to quit, I'd picture myself marching across the floor at graduation wearing Red Serge (the uniform the Mounties are famous for) to receive my badge, and that kept me running. I was in the recruitment process, but didn't get in, not due to my weight but because I didn't give enough specific examples during the interview. I lost 100 pounds because of my desire to join the RCMP, so even though I didn't get in, two positive things to come from it were that I lost 100 pounds, and also, I have the satisfaction that I had a dream and went for it, and won't be on my death bed someday wishing I had at least given it a try, because I had. I was deferred for a year, but encouraged to reapply (they don't tell everyone to reapply if they don't think they will be successful, but the recruiter saw something in me) and may someday. Thank goodness the RCMP doesn't have an age limit.

Meanwhile, I am not sitting around just daydreaming about my future...I am back in school, finishing my education and I am halfway through my Bachelor of Social Work degree. I would love to work in human rights for the UN someday, and to do so, I need a minimum of a Master's Degree. I keep this dream in mind when I do my schoolwork now, because for many masters programs, I have to have a pretty good GPA, and it encourages me to work that much harder to meet the qualifications. Many of my classmates struggle and are happy to meet the requirements just to graduate, and that is fine, but I want to get a little further. I made the Director's List this year, and I think having this vision, or dream, of what I want in life is what keeps me striving to achieve them.