Weight Loss Support - Am I excessive? Have you been told this?

Today started off being a good day... and then…

A co-worker brought up my weight loss attempts. Has anyone else ever had a situation where someone tells them that what they are doing (in their attempts to lose weight) is wrong, or not a valuable goal?

That is exactly what happened today. I kind of wonder, do I have a problem? I don’t think I do, and my husband agrees… But I thought I would get some advice from you guys.

First of all, the conversation started because I have chosen to eat five 200-250 calorie “meals” or snacks and one 300-500 calorie meal, usually for dinner. I like eating throughout the day, and I usually don’t eat much in the morning/early afternoon. So eating small amounts throughout the day helps me keep my calorie count up, and keeps me full. I plan these out the night before and bring them to work. The problem started because I had 1oz of grilled chicken, 2tbs of hummus, and a handful of spinach on a low carb tortilla. It is about 200 calories for the little mini wrap. My co-worker said, “Is that all you are eating for lunch? Are you starving yourself now!?” And of course, another gal joined in. When I explained what I was doing the conversation turned into, “You’re being excessive and you need to just love your body the way it is.” Now, I understand that beauty is skin deep, and please believe that I will always be the first to work on the inside before the outside, but really?!? Let me just break down my plan.. and you guys let me know if I am excessive..

Diet:
Consists of whole foods, try to eat clean as often as possible. Was on 1200 cals a day, but recently changed to 1500. I try to stay away from sugar and not go overboard on carbs, but I DO allow them in my diet. I also have a “cheat” day where I eat what sounds good. And I do not track on that day! As mentioned before I like to break my eating into small meals throughout the day and a larger dinner.

Exercise:
I work with a trainer 2X’s a week, Tuesday and Thursday morning at 6am. We do a full body workout. Depending on how I feel after work, I might go to the gym after work for 30-45mins of cardio. Mon-Wed-Fri I am at the gym after work for an hour to an hour and half working on cardio (I want to run a half marathon and the a full marathon, so I am working on my distance/speed. Trying to build my endurance up). Saturday, I go to the gym and do either the full body workout from Tuesday or Thursday and 30-45 mins of cardio. I do not work out on Sunday.

My personal opinion of the motive behind this conversation was the fact that both of these women do not care what they eat and neither of them are active. One of them is a few years older, and the other the same age as I am. One of them has her masters in Social Work- so her opinions are valued, and I respect what she has to say. The younger of the two is a naïve, air-head, pastors wife type of gal. So when she opens her mouth, I want to shut it for her. The older had good intentions and just wants me to love me for who I am. The younger of the two more or less just wanted to open her mouth. She said that this is consuming me, and it isn’t healthy. That it is excessive. My opinion on this, is that in order to imply a LIFESTYLE change, it has to be a conscious effort. So yes, I track everything that goes in my mouth, and yes I look at nutrition labels before putting things in my mouth, and yes I strive to stay at my calorie goal, and yes I go to the gym 6 days a week.

Anyone ever experience something like this? What do you guys think about it? I do not over-exercise and I have tried to find the perfect intake amount for my body to strive. I don’t think I am excessive. Determined, yes. Motivated, yes. Working my bum off to reach my goal, yes.

I dunno- totally put a damper on my day- which started out awesome with a 4 pound loss at my weigh in… shoot..:(

I had one of the girls I work with sort of do the same thing. I was talking with one of my co workers saying who I quit drinking regular pop and went to diet and will eventually try and quit that too. She jumped right in and said "You do know diet is just as bad right?" And went on to rant that the sugar in there is probably worse for you than sugar in regular pop. Blah blah. I understand pop is bad, but I'm trying to make an effort to get rid of it completely. Just how she said it, kind of knocked me down.

I went to grab a bag of mini carrots with some ranch from the produce department (I work in a grocery store) and she told me that mini carrots are bad for you because they aren't real and have bleach thrown on them to stop them from growing. Blah blah blah.

I just think there's people out there that will knock you down no matter what. I don't know you Wendee, but form the sounds of it you're doing awesome and amazing. I agree you need to love your body, but it's your body. And if you don't like how it looks, you need to change it. Losing weight and changing your eating habits aren't just to be skinny, it's also so you're healthy. They probably just don't get that.

You're doing great, keep it up!! :)

I don't think you are excessive. Usually if someone questions my eating, I never tell them that dieting or weight loss is my motivation. I'm eating small meals because I'm having stomach issues, allergy, hypoglycemia. Or I'm on a health kick, trying to take in more protein, etc. This usually shuts people up. Oh, watching my diet to lower cholesterol/blood pressure is also a good one.

If you are bringing up dieting all the time, then they will comment. However, from your post, it sounds like you were minding your own business in the break room and they pointed this out. I don't know why this made your day bad, though. I also don't get why these comments made you question your plan, which sounds good, and is pretty much what I've been doing (although right now my calories are 1600 per day).

Eh, don't listen to them. Nobody has any right to judge whether you're being excessive or not. It might help to just not discuss it with them. If they ask if that's all you're eating, you can just say, "No, I had a snack a little while ago."

Do you think you're being excessive? Obviously, right now you don't, because you're doing it. You may someday change your mind and decide you can't keep doing things the way you currently are. But that's up to you. It's all personal.

Look at a different example. I read a lot. Every night at bedtime, first thing in the morning, whenever I'm not doing something else. If someone who didn't love reading set off on a reading improvement campaign and tried my routine, they might very well find it excessive. But it's perfect for me. I'm not going to try to get anyone else to read more, and they better watch out if they try to get me to read less.

^^ Agree with ZooDoo - if they think they have a right to comment on the food going INTO your body, are they going to pipe up on your bathroom habits as it leaves your body? Seriously - give it the merit it deserves (none) and continue to do as you wish. If they asked if that's what you're wearing (clearly it is) or is that how you're styling your hair (yup) - would that have you question yourself? No - so don't pay this extra attention.

That young girl really needs to get a LIFE.

In my case it's my mom or sisters who always have something to say.
They absolutely badger me until i tell them what i'm doing
then immediately say "oh, i couldn't do that".
Guess what - no one ASKED you if YOU could do that.

Geez Louise...

I kind of wonder, do I have a problem? I don’t think I do, and my husband agrees…

They don't have to be wrong for you to be right. "Excessive" is in the eye of the beholder.

Regardless of motive, there will always be people in your life who offer unsolicited advice. Some of it you will appreciate (and may even agree with enough to want to change your behavior), some of it you won't.

If you think about it, you can probably even think of times when you've given unsolicited advice aqnd opinions, trying to be helpful.

I think it's a good thing. Personally, I think weight loss should be a topic that isn't taboo to talk about. I wish it were like art and literature and movies in that people could share opinions (even widely differening opinions) without having to worry about offending people who disagree.

Unfortunately we're not (as a culture) like that, be we can choose to be as individuals.

If you're able to be like that, you can say "I appreciate your concern and your advice, but I'm confident in my choices.




My personal opinion of the motive behind this conversation was the fact that both of these women do not care what they eat and neither of them are active. One of them is a few years older, and the other the same age as I am. One of them has her masters in Social Work- so her opinions are valued, and I respect what she has to say.


You're probably right - all of our opinions come from a personal place. If I tell you that I think anything in your life is "excessive" it probably means that I don't value it as much as you do...

...but you can respect an opinion without agreeing with it.


You get to choose whether or not you want to discuss the subject with them.


I LOVE discussing weight loss, even (ok, especially) with people who disagree with me, because I'm confident in my choices and yet I'm always open to differing opinions on the chance that I might learn something from them.

Keeping an open mind, doesn't mean I'm easily persuaded. I'm confident in my choices, so I'm happy to share my views with anyone willing to be as open.


You don't have to be. If you don't want to talk about it, you can say "thanks, but no thanks" in a thousand ways (and if they don't get the hint, you can say outright "the topic isn't open for discussion" and walk away (that's usually most effective if you can manage a slightly condescending smile, as if you're sad that they just don't understand. If you do it angrily, some people will interpret it as defensiveness and will see it as a challenge).


Most of all, remember if you're confident in your choices, you never have to be worried or upset by other people's opinions. Ultimately their opinions are their own, and they have a right to them (you also have a right not to hear them if you don't want to, by walking away if necessary). But valid or not for them, doesn't mean valid for you.

Most of all, remember if you're confident in your choices, you never have to be worried or upset by other people's opinions. Ultimately their opinions are their own, and they have a right to them (you also have a right not to hear them if you don't want to, by walking away if necessary). But valid or not for them, doesn't mean valid for you.

Yes to this! :carrot:

Everyone has strong opinions about weight/weight loss/health. If you believe in what you are doing and it is working for you, then they can say what they want and you don't need to internalize it and start questioning yourself.

Man, if I had a nickel for every time my mother was negative about my eating.... well, I'd have a lot of nickels. :D I've come to the point where I just don't discuss it.

I'd just give the standard "thanks for your concern but my doctor and I approve of MY plan." and then drop it.

Eating small meals throughout the day are perfectly fine! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I've never been called excessive per se, but I did have a moment with two of my house mates a few weeks. One of them bought a packet of cream and jam filled doughnuts onto the kitchen table and repeatedly offered me one, going so far as to push it under my nose. Don't get me wrong, I LOOOVVVEEE doughnuts and before I started this thing, I could easily finish a packet of six of these to myself. But nonetheless I refused his offer repeatedly.

So then he said: "Wow you're really motivated, but I don't think being thin is going to suit your body shape. I don't think you will look right, maybe lose a few pounds but no more than that." and my other housemate agreed with him.

I felt like screaming about how unhappy I am with my figure, how my BMI says I'm overweight and everytime I type it to the damn national health website in I get a warning about how I'm at risk of heart problems ect. But I didn't because I'm kind of ashamed to be overweight and I don't want that label. Instead, I told them how hard I've worked, and how difficult they were making it. They haven't bothered me about it since.

In then end, I figure it's my body and it's my choice. If I want to be thin, I will be thin. If I don't want a doughnut because I have worked myself silly trying to improve my health, my esteem and my body, then I'm not going to eat one. End of story.

I hate it when I explain to people what I am doing and they are like "well don't jump in too fast" Really? Minus this past week because I was soooo sick, but on average, yes, I am in the gym 6 days a week. Some days I have enough energy to go two a days.

I did not start this routine over night, it has been long time coming. I used to only work out like maybe once a week, then was more consistent at 2-3 times a week. I am still working on my diet, I am not eating enough yet, but it is coming.

But why in the world would you discourage me? "Don't jump in" Are you trying to imply that I can't handle it physically? And I also get mad when people are like "Oh, you are putting too much effort into it. Just live. You are beautiful." Well you know what, I would feel much better if my a$$ wasn't in a size 12 jeans! I would feel a lot better if I didn't feel like I should have to wear a hoodie all the time....

Sorry for my rant. You are not obsessed, or excessive. You are doing what is important to you, and I have to say, having an addiction to the gym is far better than one to drugs or the couch....

Wow you're really motivated, but I don't think being thin is going to suit your body shape. I don't think you will look right, maybe lose a few pounds but no more than that." and my other housemate agreed with him.


I HATE it when people tell me this! I am sorry that I want to be healthy and not be embarrassed to step on a scale. I am sorry that you dig "thick" chicks, but that doesn't mean I have to be that "thick" chick. "Thick" is just the nice way of saying fat in my eyes. I personally will not lose my ta-ta's or some of my hips, but I sure as heck would like to lose this belly! I can't take it anymore.

Excessive. Obsessed. Yeah, I've heard that.

As someone said on the boards here once, one person's obsession is another person's dedication.

I can't help but think of concert pianists, ballerinas, Olympic-level gymnasts, people who spend a lot of time practicing or training.

I'm talking about people with passions.

Are they excessive?

People who are "excessive" get things accomplished that people who are more casual or perfunctory don't always manage to do.

Except ....

I have suffered from an eating disorder, and I have to watch this tendency in myself. It's part of my general disposition, actually. The eating disorder is just one expression of it. And I have battled this in myself for so long & come at it from so many angles, I now know when I'm close to crossing the line into "excessive." So I do acknowledge its existence, and also, its ability to do harm.

But because I'm familiar with the borderline between dedication & focus & concentration, and unhealthy obsessivenss, I get annoyed by someone who uses the word casually. In much the same way that I'm incensed when someone accuses someone -- sometimes laughingly -- of being "anorexic."

We get that a lot here. And it never ceases to p**s me off.

Some people are easily made uncomfortable & judgmental about others' behavior. Most of the time, we have to ignore them. Now & then, though, they see something in us that we can't see ourselves, in the same way that some of us can't see our true weights, when we're in denial & saying we "carry it well" or we've lost 100 pounds & still think we're as big as we used to be. So I do think the self-examination this comment caused in you was a good thing, even if you ended up rejecting it. It's a good thing to ask ourselves when we've been involved in weight loss for a long time. Just to figure out where we are, as a check-in with ourselves to see if we're doing okay.

Misery loves company, and everyone is an expert.

Wendee...we are the same height so I can really relate to you. When I started on my new "way of life" eating and weight loss journey, I didn't tell anyone but family what I was doing. No one at work noticed until I had lost about 20lbs. I didn't want anyone discouraging me from my goal, because everyone is an expert doncha know. I did have food pushers along the way that wanted me to eat the cakes, donuts and crap. At first, I said "no thanks" and they would push and push and push. "It's ok, you can have a little" "It's a celebration" "Just a bite" "How about a half of a bagel" "It's Friday". Then I got smart. I would say I had a tummy ache, and that shut them up. Now that I have lost 60 lbs, the women here at work KNOW I won't eat the crap and they actually act like the food police for me. LOL They say stuff like "you can just smell it today" which I think is funny. Going from a tight size 18 to a comfortable size 8 has now made me the expert in health and weight loss in their eyes. Yes, some are expecting me to gain it all back, and say stupid things like "gosh most women gain it all back plus some". Thanks a bunch for the encouragement ladies. But I am at a point where I don't care what they think or say anymore. I know what I did worked for me and will continue to work for me for the rest of my life. I have the tools for success, free for the asking. As you lose weight, you will gain self confidence and your voice. Be confident in what you are doing and let the comments just roll off your back. Your gonna leave them in the dust with your success and then they will be asking you how you did it. :)

As long as you aren't obsessing I don't see a problem. Me? I tend to obsess over every bite I put in my mouth. I've had issues with eating disorders. So people tend to excessively worry about me and have good reason. But, you seem to have a healthy attitude and you have a good, sustainable, healthy plan with a good, healthy goal of 150 pounds. Now, if you were starving yourself and trying to get down to an unhealthily low weight, I'd agree with their assessment. But...you're fine and they need to find something else to talk about.

Thanks for all the support guys! Right after I posted this, I left the office and went home for lunch. Talked with Hubby (who has today off, and it is like 75 and sunny out.. soooo jealous) and did a lot of my own thinking.

When I returned to work, the younger gal was still here (we work in Hospice, so the other one was out with a patient) and she apologized and let me know that I was beautiful inside and out, and that after she got to thinking about it, she realized she was wrong for her approach (wow.. pretty awesome for this gal, I'll tell ya, she is an AIR HEAD!! lol)

While having our discussion earlier (before I left for lunch) I defintily had the last word. I basically said as you guys have all said that I am confident in what I am doing, not only am I proud of my weight loss and my OTHER fitness goals, but that I am happier and have more energy (something that hypothyroidism sucks from your being). I also explained my HEALTH reasons for getting to a healthy weight, and I then asked the pastors wife if she thought being in the church 7 days a week was excessive.. "OF course not!" she replied.. Case and Point. I go to church on Sunday. You ride your bike on Saturday. What is excessive in her eyes, is not in mine. My mother in law sews 7 days a week.. is that excessive? No- because she enjoys it. Is it excessive for someone to take their blood sugar if they have diabetes.. absoloutly not! Then itsnt excessive for me to know what I am putting in my body for my HEALTH.

Once again, thanks for the support. I am glad that you all agree that I am not being excessive or obsessed. I know that a lot of times the person with the problem is the last to see it, so wanted to make sure I wasnt doomed. ;)

Love you guys!

AS far as the obssessing part.. trust me.. no issue there! When I am craving something, I usually find a way to budget it in. If that means I change my dinner plans and have salad instead of a steak, well thats my choice.

I have skinny cow ice cream and treats. I have a four year old with a candy drawer. I have sugar free pudding.. and we go out for frozen yogurt about once a week.. I LOVE food, and I am not willing to restrict myself to the point that I break. 2-3 times a week, I get dessert, and I DO NOT think twice about it.

I eat pretty clean and healthy for the most part other than my "treats". But I know if I feel guilty for the things I eat, I will become discouraged. Another thing, on my treat days, I get to run an extra mile! YIPPY! These are the "rules" I live by, and I like it a lot. It has taught me a lot of focus and discapline.


Another thing that was brought up.. They asked, "when you get to your goal, I am afraid with the behaviors you have now, you wont be happy"

I want to point out that my goal is nearly 10 pounds HEAVIER than the top of my healthy weight range. I absoloutly cannot wait to be a maintainer. If I happen to lose in maintaning mode- great! But seriously.. I cant wait to eat 2000 calories a day, and have a regular workout schedule!

No matter what you do, if it is different from what others around you are doing you are gonna catch flack. It is you who has to live with your choices, whatever they may be.

That being said, I think the "now" part in the "are you starving yourself now" that might be important. Also is their suggesting that you need to love your body.

If you don't want the topic to be open, then you can't really bring it up yourself either. If these people have been your sounding board or source of advice in the past, then they will naturally also feel like they can comment freely in the future unless or until you say otherwise.

Also, if you talk to a person about how much you hate your body or how much effort you've been putting in to lose weight - and no offense but you what you've described on other threads is a more extreme plan than average - and then they only see you eating a tiny amount of food or none at all, then those people voicing their worries to you isn't necessarily malicious, catty, or jealous. It could genuinely be worry and care for your wellbeing.

In the end you have to do what is best for you and to **** with everything else. If their comments make you doubt yourself then evaluate your plan with an impartial knowledgable person and be willing to make changes if necessary. If you don't have a problem or don't plan on changing anything regardless then it doesn't matter what those people think anyway. Just don't open that particular can of worms with them anymore, and they probably won't feel like they can butt in. If anyone still thinks you are in need of their unsolicited opinion, there is nothing wrong with telling people you don't want to discuss ANY particular subject.

I am sorry you have had to experience this kind of stupid behavior, it really is NONE of their freaken business. please please please don't let it discourage you. I found i feel better and eat 4-5 smaller meals a day as well.

I know that the person who quietly avoids other people and just sticks to themself is often called "weird", but after reading these posts and having had the same bizarre things said to me, I can understand why some people choose to just blend in with the wallpaper.

My favorite is when a co-worker knows I am working on my weight, then becomes overly concerned with what I am eating and as soon as it is noticeable that I've lost a few pounds says, "be careful that you don't lose too much now". I AM 5'5" AND WEIGH 241 POUNDS, IN JANUARY I WAS 254. I DON'T THINK WE HAVE TO HAVE AN ANOREXIA INTERVENTION JUST YET! OK!

I know nobody likes the "*****" but sometimes you just have to tell people to get out of your face and mind their own f*cking business.

I am sorry you had to deal with these lumpheads. Your plan is actually very sensible.

Take care,
Elaine

and no offense but you what you've described on other threads is a more extreme plan than average


What is more extreem than average? I am just wondering what is being concived as extreem. In my opinion extreem is HCG, or some of the other "magic pills" or eating under 1000 calories, or exercising many hours a day. I havent gone over 2 hours of exercise a day..ever.. wheather it be broken up into an hour in the morning and an hour at night, or a full 2 hours.

When it comes to weight (and weight loss) sometimes you just cannot win. If people know you're trying to lose weight and you eat a small amount in their presence, you're "starving yourself", but if you eat a bigger meal, you're "sabotaging yourself".

I have to say, I'd be less than thrilled about hearing "oh, are you starving yourself now?" from a co-worker (unless said co-worker was an especially close friend.) I've had family members express concern that I'm not eating enough, but *I* know I am -- it's just that to them, it seems I'm not eating "enough" because I'm not eating as much as I used to. Um, hello...eating as much as I used to is what GOT me to the point where I need to lose this damn weight!

I think the problem is not with you, but frankly, with people who can't keep their mouths shut about things that are really none of their business. If they're not your doctor, they have no right to question the amount of food you are choosing to eat. If you were eating only 200 calories in the run of an entire day, that would be one thing, but the fact that these women were basically making a judgement based on ONE meal they saw you eat...that, to me, is not cool. If they ARE concerned about you, there is a better way to express it than to ask if you're starving yourself.

Don't worry about what they think. If you're eating five small meals a day because that's what works for you, then keep on keeping on. I don't think that's excessive. Of course, I'm not a doctor, but ****, diabetics are usually advised to eat five or six small meals a day, so there has to be something to it.

I had a big "ah-ha" moment the other day when a friend of mine said "You really need to stop losing weight now!" Believe me when I say that I'm still in the top half of the "healthy" BMI range for my height, and in no way am I anywhere close to "too thin" in any meaningful way.

And it occurred to me that comments like "you're getting too thin," or "your diet is excessive," or "you need to stop now" all really mean the same thing. They mean "What you are doing is making me uncomfortable!" It's not really about you at all, it's about how the other people in your life are coping with your new behavior and appearance. And for some reason that was really comforting to me and made it WAY easier to just let those comments go.

good point mlk58

I have noticed that people who are fit, thin, or a healthy weight, really commend what I am doing, and others who arent...well they try to bring me down!

Have you heard the parable of the crabs in a bucket? If not, google it.

I don't think you're excessive in the slightest. Obsessive, definately. Nothing wrong with being focused on a goal though. :D

That's why I love going to races. 90% of the people who are there to race are fit and in terrific shape and would never tell you that you're obsessive. It's just normal in that crowd to be a little thin. As MLK58 said above, it's not your problem, it's their problem.

A friend of mine hugged me the other day when she saw me unexpectedly in the store. She said "my God Rhonda, it's like hugging a skeleton". What can you say to that? Well, gee, thanks! What a compliment. NOT! What the heck is wrong with people? Did they not learn as children that there is an internal monitor that is capable of stopping you from saying insensitive stuff? Guess not.

and thank you John for the crabs in a bucket parable. SPOT ON!

Here it is:

Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither should you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition (or sabotage) which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise. The analogy in human behavior is that of a group that will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of jealousy, conspiracy or competitive feelings.

This term is broadly associated with short-sighted, non-constructive thinking rather than a unified, long-term, constructive mentality. It is also often used colloquially in reference to individuals or communities attempting to "escape" a so-called "underprivileged life," but kept from doing so by others attempting to ride upon their coat-tails or those who simply resent their success.

The crabs-in-a-bucket parable is so descriptive of a lot of diet/weight issues and people's own weird insecurities about bodily change. Whenever I'm in NY, I have people telling me to eat up because I'm "wasting away" or "tiny." This even happened at 155 lbs, which is more than 10 lbs overweight for my height (and I don't carry weight well!). It has happened in Japan a few times, which is ridiculous considering I weigh a lot more than nearly all my coworkers. It's irritating, I don't walk into a situation wearing a sign saying "COMMENT ON MY BODY AND EVERYTHING I EAT."

News flash. You don't stay "tiny" for more than five minutes if you eat everything in sight. Crabs in the bucket, take heed!

As for the OP, as long as you can live your life and not think about food/diet so much that it overshadows the real important things in life (family, enjoyment of nature, work, play etc), you're just fine. But it sounds to me like you already know that. =)

I don't think you should make a big deal about this. You made ME LAUGH :D About the young "gal" haha.

You want to know what's excessive? A friend of mine got obsessed about losing weight, to the extent where he didn't eat a single thing. He switched from 2,500-3,000 calorie diet (usually from mcdonalds) all the way to 500 calorie diet. Yes, a 500 CALORIE DIET :o I freaked when he explained to me what he was doing. Leann Rimes would be proud, but not me. This drove me crazy. He lost about 45 pounds in one month. I didn't think that was even possible... THAT'S excessive my friend.

You on the other hand are no where near the term "excessive" (in a good way of course). It seems like you're working your butt off but that shows determination. You really want to lose weight and you're doing it very well. The fact that you're glancing over nutritional values makes you very cautious about what you eat (very rare and really good to do). I just glanced at the nutritional facts of soy sauce... One tablespoon has 35% sodium of daily values :o :o :o :o :o :o So I think it is important to see nutritional values :p

You could just tell them you're not being "excessive," and that excessive is what go you where you are in the first place. You are being disciplined and responsible, and going about it in a very, super healthy way! Be proud of yourself. I think that you're adapting what works versus what doesn't shows how in tune with your body you are, and that you're really trying to improve your health in a responsible and mature way.

I agree with the lady that said one person's excessive is another person's passion and dedication. Let your body be your guide. If it hurts, feel weak, etc, then you'll know. Congrats on your accomplishments! :)

Short answer: No! I hate those people who are like "just love who you are." Maybe I don't love who I am and want to lose weight so I CAN love me IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!

Girls have this annoying habit of saying "You're fine the way you are, you look great, you're not fat" blah blah blah - it's like it's inbuilt system to say everything to make that girl feel better! Which is great in some occasions but when it's just straight up denial then it's a bit of an issue.

But the truth is: You're want to lose weight, you're dieting = that's perfectly fine. No, it's not excessive, if you were on some fad diet or not eating at all - that's excessive! Your plan sounds great, and you've seen results - maybe you're just making them feel badly about their own lifestyle choices =p

It's not about "excessive" or "not excessive" - it's about BOUNDARIES. Your co-workers ain't got'nee!!!

My co-worker said, “Is that all you are eating for lunch? Are you starving yourself now!?” And of course, another gal joined in. When I explained what I was doing the conversation turned into, “You’re being excessive and you need to just love your body the way it is.”

Had it been me, I'd have said: "Thanks for your input, but I didn't ask."

I really hate it when people tell ME what *I* should be doing, whether it's my diet, my clothes, my hairstyle, whether or not to have another tattoo, where that tattoo might be placed, etc. If I ASK - that's soliciting advice - & it's fine! - if not, I feel no remorse in telling them to STFU.... IN A NICE WAY, of course. ;)

I don't tell people what I am or am not doing (aside from a few good friends). So, no I don't get any crap. That being said I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing.

One of my work colleagues asked me this morning if I'd read the book Intuitive Eating. I said No. She then told me very forcefully that 'Diets NEVER work - EVER' ( ignoring the fact that I've obviously lost weight over the past few months!) I said sarcastically, 'Thanks very much for your support'. She then got huffy and said - 'Well, if it's working for you, you can carry on with it!' I just left it there, but I was thinking 'Wow - thanks so much for your permission!'

Some people are just like that. (My colleague, for example, is known for being opinionated and forcing her views on others.) I think their behaviour says far more about them than about you.

She's overweight, by the way.

If its working for you and its a healthy plan (which it sounds like it is), then they need to mind their own business.

My sister in law recently FREAKED out because I was eating a cup of green grapes (too much sugar, she said). I asked what she was having for dinner (she constantly complains that she is going to TOPS meetings, eating well and not losing weight). She was having battered, fried processed fish pieces and "homemade" fried french fries. I smirked and enjoyed my grapes. That week....I lost 3lbs, she gained 2. I think I'll stick to my way of eating ;)

Have you heard the parable of the crabs in a bucket? If not, google it.

I've just googled it. THanks, John, I've never heard this parable before. On one of the sites that quotes it, it suggests that if you don't want to be pulled back by the other crabs, you should decide to be a lobster instead. Lobsters are independent and don't care if another lobster decides to crawl out of the pot. Here's the link. Sorry if it doesn't work , my ipad's a bit unreliable when it comes to pasting links. http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/the-bucket-of-crabs/

Ugh. The Food Police people would be a lot better off paying attention to what THEY are having for lunch instead of giving out unsolicited advice. The things you've mentioned don't sound excessive at all; it sounds reasonable and healthy and if it's working for you that's even better!

There are people who will want you to stay the same because that's what THEY feel comfortable with, and once you know who they are you learn to take everything they say with a grain of salt. Keep doing what works for you and ignore the harpies.

You're doing well doing what you're doing. So, if you like it, don't change it. I think these women are feeling a little insecure with themselves and want to see it effect you. Just say, "Thanks for your opinion" smile, and go on. :D Way to go by the way!

I'm new here and this is my first post. I would like to point out that if you didn't love your body, you wouldn't be treating it so well. I took their statements as being envious, based on how you described them. A lot of times, criticism of others comes from something you don't like about yourself.

Frankly, I admire your dedication. If I had that much discipline, I would have lost a lot more by now. It's nice to find a forum like this to be able to work through what we need to, to make this all work.

Good for you and your discipline. I think it's great!

-Ela

I think your plan sounds great. Don't worry about the haters! I've let "friends" sabotage me many times by planting seeds of doubts in my head. Just keep doing what you're doing. If you start to lose weight too fast, then I would worry. But as long as it's steady and you're comfortable, keep doing what you're doing and say "poop" to the naysayers!

I think you have to be excessive to lose weight. It takes a great deal of focus and not a little attention. If I hadn't been excessive and obsessed I would not have lost 141lbs- I'd still be whining and wondering why I was still fat !! You go girl and avoid the naysayers. It has gobsmacked me how *****y the women have been on my journey....

Thanks for the support everyone!

Starbrite, I agree. Its a LIFESTYLE change, so how would it not consume my life.. it is changing pretty much every habit I have had my entire life.. what I eat, how active I am, how DISCAPLINED I am.. as well as how I think and feel about myself.

:)