General chatter - Is this a "fat" mindset?

View Full Version : Is this a "fat" mindset?

05-12-2011, 11:04 AM
My friend says yes, and that it's scary and sort of sad. Whenever I see that someone has taken more than they're going to eat, and leaves the plate or bowl to just sit, without even asking if anyone else would like it, and it goes to waste, I go ballistic. In my house, we save leftovers, and I usually have them for breakfast, and dinner the next day.

Example: my friend will take the last of the soup in a giant bowl, and only drink the liquid, then leave the bowl on the counter for someone to find 5 hours later.

I sort of went crazy on them. I guess I didn't realize it or something, but my friend said it was pretty scary, and now I think she thinks I want to eat everything that no one finishes and I feel kind of ashamed about it, like I want it all for myself or something.

Is this a "fat mindset" or a "I learned not to be wasteful, and you, my friend, are wasteful as all get out!" mindset?

05-12-2011, 11:16 AM
If there is enough to put into a container and into the fridge,I find it wasteful...especially if it is a perfect single portion and it was delicious ;) because that could have been my lunch the next day.Not only that,but it irks me when people don't clean up after themselves...and setting a filled bowl or cup on the counter,is not cleaning up imo.

05-12-2011, 11:18 AM it's not just me! She said something like, "relax, there was only a little left, anyway." Bull! There was enough for 2 more bowls (for me, anyway, probably 1 for everyone else), and they just drank the liquid and left all the noodles and meat bits. NOTHING irritates me more than that, and I feel terrible, like some fat, food-hoarding, controlling *****. ):

05-12-2011, 11:19 AM
I grew up with the ideals that food waste is a shameful thing to do so I very rarely will waste anything. I always save leftovers and eat them, etc.

I would agree it's inconsiderate to leave out perfectly good soup- at least if they had thrown out the leftoevers and cleaned the bowl you wouldn't have known and everything would have been fine.

05-12-2011, 11:28 AM
I don't see how that's a fat mindset. It's not like you want to eat it that very same're being thoughtful and saving for the future. It has nothing to do with has to do with common sense! ;) At the same time, I don't think it's worth "going ballistic" over, since that does nothing positive for your health and only makes you appear illogical to others. I think you're better off saying things calmly and in the end, you can't control other people's behavior so just do the best you can. :)

05-12-2011, 11:33 AM
I don't think it's a fat mindset, unless you have to finish everything right then and there. It might be a "bad roommate" mindset if you really went crazy on your friend for their habits. They have a right to waste their food if they want. And if it's your food, you should either tell them hands off, or give them what you're willing to part with and not criticize them for what to choose to do with it. Except the leaving it on the counter part. Tell them to clean up their mess. :)

I don't like to waste food, but having a kid has made me less strict about it. I eat leftovers, and if there's a portion, or even half a portion, I'll probably save it. I almost always clear my plate (which I don't necessarily think is a good habit) and therefore have to be careful about how much I put on it in the first place. My husband and son don't always clear their plates, and guess what? They're not fat. They, or since I often serve them, I don't always know how much they'll want to eat, and I over serve. They also don't usually get seconds, so I don't want to underestimate and have them hungry and snacking on crap later on.

05-12-2011, 11:39 AM
Personally and this is my opinion I think it’s disgusting to eat off of someone else’s plate or to have them “save” food for other people to eat after their forks, spoons, mouths whatever have been on that plate picking through food. When in my house we have left over’s we save what’s been in the pot, or pan whatever for another day but do not save what’s been on someone else’s plate because they didn’t finish it. If you live on your and sometimes I’ll do that I’ll save my food plate and eat it the next day but that’s because it’s mine and I know no one else will touch it.

If your issue is because she didn’t ask if anyone else wanted her sloppy seconds in her food bowl then yes I’d say that’s a problem on its own set. But if she went up and threw the pot of food out that no one has even touched just because she didn’t feel like saving it for another day I’d say that’s being wasteful.

Sometimes you can’t finish your meal and I don’t think people should have to over stuff themselves JUST because in other’s mindsets you feel they are being wasteful. I personally think it’s a “fat mindset”. Now as I just read she poured a whole bowl and wasted the noodles and stuff you can easily tell her the next time don't take all the food inside the soup and just take the broth. but as someone else said it's HER choice is she wants to waste it or not, but it's also your choice to have a civil conversation with her and not go out right ballistic just because she left food she didn't want to eat.

05-12-2011, 11:52 AM
I was brought up in a 'clear your plate' household. When I was overweight I would always eat all of what I served myself.

When I was losing I always ate all of what I served myself.

Since I moved in with my bordering-on-underweight husband I generally serve him decent sized portions of whatever we are having for our evening meal as it is the only meal he eats all day, so i want to make sure he is not hungry.

Sometimes he doesn't eat it all and leaves some. My first emotional reaction to that is one of personal insult - how dare you not finish the meal I made for you - and the second is one of waste - what a waste of good food (that I could have eaten).

I don't verbalise either of these reactions and I understand that sometimes he is just not hungry and he doesn't eat when he is not hungry, which is hard for us naturally larger folks to understand.

It's not personal and as for the waste - well I have just learned to serve him slightly smaller portions.

05-12-2011, 12:00 PM
Well, here's the thing. Civil conversations do not work. They never have, and I doubt they ever will. This person is a repeat-offender. If they do it with their own food, fine. But this was everyone's food, and I generally feel that the person that has to go to WORK should get the last of whatever's been in the fridge from last night. That still doesn't warrant me going crazy on them, I guess, but I'm so tired of it. We constantly tell them not to do it, and yet they always finish the last of things and don't even eat them. It's hard to catch them, too, because they do it at odd hours- 10PM, 6AM, etc. The problem extends much farther than that (bowls in the bathroom because they're too lazy to take them to the kitchen and clean them, etc.)

So civil convos don't work. Then again, I guess going crazy doesn't, either, since they just keep doing it. Sigh. I just hate to see food wasted, that could have easily been my breakfast.. But instead, now I have to get up at 9 in the morning and MAKE myself something. Idk. It just bugs me, always has.

Tea Granny
05-12-2011, 12:10 PM
I hate when food is wasted - especially if I had to cook it, because I loathe cooking. I also don't think that you need to be cleaning up after the offender - dump the dirty dishes that they leave lying around on their bed and tell them to clean up their own friggin' mess! You have 3 choices with a repeat offender 1) put up with it because they are obviously not going to change, 2) Label the food with your name- alot of roomates use that system, or 3) get a new roommate.
Good luck to you!:)

Nola Celeste
05-12-2011, 12:30 PM
I'm appalled at your friend for assuming that it's a "fat mindset" and that you want to scarf up all the leftovers. That is unconscionably rude to me; I would apply a severe verbal smack-down to anyone who assumed that because I disliked greed and waste, I was hoping to eat all the food in the house myself. Hmmph!

The person who regularly takes more food than he/she can finish and leaves the dregs for other people to clean up is rude on more than one count. That's not only wasteful, it's also greedy and thoughtless. I don't even expect my husband to clean away my dirtied dishes, nor does he expect me to do that for him; how dare someone take the last of the food, then leave it out to rot and get cleaned up by others?

It doesn't take a "fat mindset" to dislike others' thoughtlessness. I'd hate that behavior regardless of the food in question or whether I would even touch it--and chances are I wouldn't, because as far as I'm concerned, food that others have prodded around with silverware that's been in their mouths is either their food or garbage. I don't eat other people's leftovers from their plates and have a decidedly "ew" reaction to that, so if anything, I have a "skinny mindset" about other people's stuff.

It's inexcusable not to look after your own dirty dishes and to take more than you can finish. It's also inexcusable to accuse someone of having a "fat mindset" for not wanting to live in a pigsty with half-eaten bowls of food lying around. In other words, the only polite person out of the three is you, yhahmd. :)

05-12-2011, 12:43 PM
The problem extends much farther than that (bowls in the bathroom because they're too lazy to take them to the kitchen and clean them, etc.)

Okay that is disgusting...I see the point and hence the reason I don't do roomates. Do you guys pay rents (I guess obviously if your living together) Maybe you need to find your own place instead of living with other people. I can do my own mess but living in and with other's people's mess would piss me off. I also think living with friends can go either way be a good thing for two people to become closer and bond with, or it can full ruined the friendship.

05-12-2011, 01:46 PM
Time to get a new roommate. Your reaction is not a "fat mindset". It may be that she has a bone to pick with you and she knows this behavior bothers you and perhaps she's hoping you move out. I say that because calling it a "fat mindset" is a direct insult to your person, not to your behavior. It's just mean. It's like you calling her a "fat slob" instead of just a "slob". "slob" would be calling her out on her behavior. "fat slob" is calling her person fat and her slobby behavior because she is fat. It's just rude.

On the topic of eating left overs - in a culture and day and age when food was scarce and times were tough, it was rude or disrespectful to the food provider not to eat all the food on the plate. Do you realize that the portions being served back then were a fraction of what many consider a good portion today?

Cleaning your plate is an unfortunate side effect of a generation with good intentions. We do NOT need to eat all the food offered to us. We need to offer HALF of today's portion instead. Make and serve less food. Period.

05-12-2011, 01:53 PM
I'm saving up to move out...can't wait, honestly. I can live with the one person, but if the offender moves out, that would be fantastic, too lol.

05-12-2011, 02:15 PM
I'm saving up to move out...can't wait, honestly. I can live with the one person, but if the offender moves out, that would be fantastic, too lol.

Can/will the offender move out? can you encourage them to move out?

This is totally nasty and from my immature days at school...There were 3 of us in a dorm meant for 2. 2 of us got along. The other one violated the unspoken good roommate contract constantly. She even had sex with her boyfriend with us other roommates sleeping in the room! She locked us out of the room, too. She refused to move out because the only option was to live in the cruddy dorm a mile away from campus.

We complained, had civil conversation, etc, just like you, and nothing worked. Her behavior continued as she slutted around with not only her boyfriend.

So we put our heads together. Hmmm...she's allergic to cigarette smoke? PERFECT! My other roommate and I let cigarettes burn in ashtrays in that tiny room every day until, guess what? SHE MOVED OUT.

Now, I wouldn't repeat that behavior, nor am I suggesting it. Ok, well, maybe I'm suggesting it. ;)

05-13-2011, 01:20 AM
The problem extends much farther than that (bowls in the bathroom because they're too lazy to take them to the kitchen and clean them, etc.)


Why were the bowls ever in the bathroom in the first place?

And no, you're not exhibiting a "fat mindset," just being thrifty and using common sense. Your roommate sounds like a selfish slob.

Another possible solution (if your roomies agree to it) might be to split up food intended for multiple meals into resealable containers or bags right after it's been cooked and refrigerate or freeze them. It'd be kind of a hassle, but it would make it more difficult for your annoying roommate to thoughtlessly waste 2 or 3 servings of whatever you guys have made.

05-13-2011, 02:07 AM
A) Mark the food you want. If there were leftovers. Take what you want, put some aluminum foil over it and put your initial on it.

B) Dirty dishes left for others to clean up? Gather them and place them in the offender's room. You're not their mommy nor their maid. Dishes left uncleaned in a roommate situation just makes everyone that much more annoyed with each other.

C) Keep saving up!!!

My first thoughts when you described what your roommate did were "They just ate the broth and left the rest? What a waste. Someone else could've had it for a meal."

I didn't even grow up in a severely "clean your plate/starving kids in china" type household. We had leftovers from dinner that people would then have for lunches the next day or something. And if we only wanted part of the leftovers we'd take what we would eat and leave the rest in the fridge... not take all the leftovers and dump them when we ate what we wanted.

That's like... buying a pizza just to pluck the pepperoni off it and then tossing the actual pizza...

Best of luck! Try to be patient, and if there is a problem in the future wait until you can speak about it calmly.

05-13-2011, 09:10 AM
No, your reaction has nothing to do with fat or not. I have a husband and a couple brothers who would all have been livid at that and none of them have been fat a day in their lives. I can understand if she wanted a little more of the broth, but she could have dished herself just some more of the broth instead of wasting the solid part of the soup. Also, I agree with what the heck were dishes doing in the bathroom in the first place? Good luck either getting out of there or getting her out.