100 lb. Club - Stages of the Weight Loss Journey




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ubergirl
05-10-2011, 10:35 AM
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the weight loss journey.

I started in June 2009 right after getting a fabulous piece of news, when I was feeling really good about myself. It seems like there are two big triggers for people-- one is "hitting rock bottom." That never worked for me. The other is feeling really terrific-- maybe losing a few pounds by accident, or falling in love, or having some good news.

Here are what I see as the stages:

1. Self-doubt: This is when you don't really believe you can succeed because you never have before. I fell off in this stage millions of times over the course of twenty years. I would lose ten or fifteen pounds, then get off track, then stop, then gain it back. After a while it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

2. Mastery: This is after you lose maybe forty or fifty pounds-- more than you ever dreamed possible. You start to think you've got the hang of it. It seems almost effortless. You wonder why you never did this before.

3. Super-confidence: You've been on a roll for months and months now. You feel like an expert. You are one hundred per cent positive you will NEVER go back. You follow your plan like a champ. You never slip up. You feel like a weight loss goddess.

4. RELAPSE: I think most of us long-termers slip up. A lot of people cope with it pretty well. Some really don't and end up with a big regain.

5. The Long Haul: This is where I am now. This is when you start to realize that your food issues will probably never go away, and that you probably will slip up from time to time, but you are going to have to learn that life at a lower weight is made up of good days and bad days and that NOBODY IS PERFECT.

The weight loss journey is full of highs and lows that have nothing to do with weight.

Talk about a way to really and truly get to know yourself. This is it!


time2lose
05-10-2011, 10:50 AM
Uber, I think that you have nailed the stages. I started stage one because I hit rock bottom. I saw my future if I did not lose weight. I am currently in "stage 4. RELAPSE" which, in some sense, puts me back in "stage 1. Self-doubt". The primary difference in stage one and stage four is that I know that I can do this because I have done it before.

From your mouth to God's ear that I get into "5. The Long Haul"!

Thanks for posting this!

Trazey34
05-10-2011, 10:55 AM
such a great post, Uber!!!

for myself, in between #3 & #4 was a "self realization" phase, where i dealt with WHY i was fat, WHY i turned to food ~it wasn't scary or difficult, just eye opening! Not every fat girl was molested and eats icing out of a can in the closet, sorry Hollywood you got that wrong LOL some of us are just spoiled, indulged brats who need to GROW UP, and it took a few therapy sessions to come to that, to go "ohhhh riiiight" and learn new ways to look at the world.

For me, that was the most important and significant change of my life. I'd always stall out at the 40 pound mark, and then gain back 50 because I never really LEARNED anything ~ the will power worked, the good habits lasted for a while, the "I'm never eating XYZ again, EVER!" lasted a while, but the monster hiding behind the wall would POUNCE on me eventually LOL now I can beat him into submission!

That's been worth more to me than losing 160 (HOLY FKK) pounds - that sense of calm around food. No food is off limits to me -- horrible, delicious fattening food is all around us at all times, I can't control that -- I CAN however, control ME and i do :) I know I CAN have that deep fried sugar fat ball if I want, but I choose not to this day. Maybe tomorrow, maybe never.

I'm in the "long haul" phase now as well, and i have to say that getting to know myself has been awesome, I always had very healthy self-esteem but now I'm downright crazy about myself LOL NOT because I'm thinner, but because I accomplished something - I loosened the stranglehold food has always had over me and came out the other side!

here's to the long haul !!


Arctic Mama
05-10-2011, 10:59 AM
I think I am waffling between four and five. I haven't really relapsednin any significant way, but from January to now it has been a struggle to lose - a constant fight against complacency and too many bad choices to consistently lose. Knock on wood, but the head issues and heart issues are being sorted out and I have a strong peace about the whole thing. I am praying I am ready to finally move further down the scale and stay there, as the five pounds on either side of 200 have been an incredible fight for the better.

Sandi
05-10-2011, 11:14 AM
OMG!!! That is so dead on!!!

I am at #2 right now. Down 53 lbs, don't know why I didn't do this sooner!

Very wise you are!!!

partypantalones
05-10-2011, 11:25 AM
this is great food for thought. i've been thinking about these big patterns in my life as i, at 27, am aaaaagain trying to lose the same i've lost and gained at least 3 times already.

i remember my super-confidence phase so clearly! just about a year ago. i raaaved about weight watchers and yoga to anyone who would listen and felt so happy and proud. :) i'll be back there once i battle with #4 and #1!

i am a little worried with going forward and...The Long Haul, since this last go-round didn't stick. :( i'll think it over and post about it soon.

thanks so much for this!

time2lose
05-10-2011, 11:29 AM
PS - I think that we can fluctuate between "Relapse" and "The Long Haul". If you had posted this last summer, I would have said that I was in "The Long Haul" having had one or two minor relapses. For me, I have to realize that the Long Haul will probably involve multiple relapses and I have to learn how to stop them and deal with them. Since I have fought with weight and food issues all of my life, I have accepted that this is a life-long struggle for me.

Slim CB
05-10-2011, 11:47 AM
Wow...you hit the nail on the head! I am at Stage 3 and I want to thank you for this post - it makes me realize that slip-ups may still happen! I really and truly want to keep off this weight, it held me back for so long and finally I have good self-esteem, am confident and happy. I guess the same determination that got me this far will have to keep me here.

JamiSue3916
05-10-2011, 12:44 PM
Great post Uber! Being at Stage 1, it's nice to see that "slip ups" are just a part of the process. You'd almost be worried if you hadn't had any.

Trazey -- I always love your posts. They are so honest about weight loss and ring to true for me. I chose this life...the good and the bad. It didn't just "happen" and I'm not a victim. Now I'm choosing a better life. Very liberating! :D

joy3
05-10-2011, 12:47 PM
Great post!

High Heels
05-10-2011, 01:10 PM
Wow! Thank you so much for posting this. You are spot-on! I've been lurking around this site for several months and find so much inspiration here.

Thank you!

LesliesMom
05-10-2011, 01:28 PM
Fantastic post, I think once we get on a roll with the weight loss and it starts coming off, briefly it feels -- dare I say it -- easy??? You read about people losing LOTS of weight only to regain it a short time later and you think - how COULD they -- that will NEVER happen to me. This time last year I was 20 pounds lighter - 20 POUNDS!! and I felt so much better - yet I let myself gain it back. Why? I think until you really deal with the issues deeper than anyone thinks they are its tough to maintain. It will be a battle for the rest of my life.

Thanks again for this post - you are a wise woman and I respect you so much.

Angie

sept15lija
05-10-2011, 01:38 PM
I agree I think you've got it - although I'm at stage 3 and am hoping to never get to stage 4, but you know what? It might happen and I can deal with it if it does! I've given myself a little more freedom with food lately because I am playing with maintenance...and some days I can see how easy it would be just to gain some back without too much effort. Truth be told, I am terrified of a relapse...it helps to know others have been through it and come out to #5 on the other side.

tsuninight
05-10-2011, 04:17 PM
HAH! I love this post.

I'm nowhere near goal but I'm totally at #5 but float to #1 & #4 depending on what's going on in my life. From the criteria I'm only at #2. I've lost 50 lbs. I've been stuck in nutral this year though. I don't even know why... I know why in March, that was totally #4. But In Feb I joined Farrell's Extreme Bodyshpaing, gave up soda, gave up (for day to day stuff) enriched/bleached/white/flour, and I can do way more pushups than I have ever done in my entire life... buut the scale just kind of laughs at me still. This is the first time I've been stuck for months in nutral, and I gotta tell you I think my transmission needs work.

Never before would I have hit this much of a dead zone and stuck with it. I would ahve given up as "not possible". This time it's 15 months down ? to go. I WILL get there, it's when that seems to be the questionable part.

I also found that since I hit #4 the point of I QUIT back in 2006 (stress won), and this time I've started looking harder at what causes me to get to the I QUIT point to make sure that even if I may float around in 1-4 I stick with #5.

Man I've learned a lot this time around, and I still have a ton to learn.

I'll tell you this though I think I'm in the best shape of my life, even if I'm not at my best weight. lol.

Here's to #5!

Beverlyjoy
05-10-2011, 05:14 PM
Your stages seem very accurate for most of us. Thanks for this post,.

CherryPie99
05-10-2011, 05:16 PM
I am in relapse right now - I haven't actually relapsed, per se, but mentally I am in relapse mode. I have the f**k its pretty bad and am feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Over the last couple weeks I've been telling myself that even though I've lost 130 pounds, that I'm still fat, that I can't do this anymore, that it's not worth it, blah blah blah.

I am hoping this phase passes quickly, because it really kind of sucks and I worry about falling into an actual relapse.

sept15lija
05-10-2011, 08:59 PM
CherryPie - :hug:

jennyplain
05-10-2011, 10:06 PM
I relapsed from November of last year to, well, about three weeks ago. I gained back about fifteen pounds (can't bear to change my ticker - I'm such a baby!) and am finally, finally back on track. So right now I'm in a combination of phase 2 and phase 4 - I'm losing again, at a fairly rapid rate, but I'm realizing now that this is a long journey, and that losing fifty pounds was only a rest stop, not the final destination!

ubergirl
05-10-2011, 11:49 PM
So many great thoughts here. I'm glad others see these stages too.

time2lose...

It's pretty day to day right now with me, but I'm finally wrapping my head around the idea that this is just how it is for me.

Relapse, for me, is when I'm still telling myself that I'd rather eat than anything else and that I can restart tomorrow.

There are two real things that I think I've learned.

One is that now I'm AWARE that I'm CHOOSING to eat. Before, I always thought that I was under control of an out-of-control craving, but now, I am a lot more honest with myself, and I can see that what I'm really doing is making a series of rationalizations.

The second thing is that I definitely see that I'm stress-eating: it's a specific behavior that I learned to do a long time ago in response to stress. Now, I KNOW that I have other choices for ways to cope with stress, and that the way I'm choosing is not the best way.

That being said, just being aware doesn't necessarily make me stop. Still, I consider it progress.

Trazey-- I thought I had done the work between stage 3 and stage 4 too. But I've had just an over-the-top stressful year. I think maybe if I'd stayed put and not moved, changed jobs, and etc. I might have been able to stay in stage 3 a lot longer... maybe even long enough that I didn't have to hit stage 4. On the other hand, I wasn't molested as a child, but I am a closet icing from the can eater-- I'm not exactly normal but definitely have suffered from a full-blown eating disorder and that just seems to complicate matters even more.

Lesley-- it is one of the great mysteries to me why something as hard as weight loss can seem so easy when it's working. For me, a lot of it has to do with how much I'm concentrating. I have to spend a lot of time thinking about weight loss in order to keep it going. I have to come here and post, and talk about it, and log my food, and weigh myself, and have it be one of my primary concerns. When there is too much else going on in my life and it starts to fade a little, it's a lot harder for me.

GirlyGirlSebas
05-11-2011, 09:34 AM
Uber, self doubt explains phase 1 perfectly for me. One of my most pervasive thoughts during this phase is that I'm not one of the "blessed" ones. Some people struggle with their weight throughout their whole lives and never get it right. Others do finally find their way. What is the difference between the two? Those who succeed must have something special about their personality. They must have a Lance Armstrong recessive gene that finally comes into play. And, I might not have this special thing and may never be successful! Crazy thinking, huh? Sounds crazy to me when I type it, yet these thoughts plagued me forever.

Now, I'm in phase II. If feels good! It feels easy! But, I'm still a bit scared because I know that I have food issues that must be dealt with. I'm just not sure of how to really get started. And, if I do try to deal with the issues, then I will bring up hidden emotions and stressors and really struggle to not turn to food or comfort. So, for now, I'm enjoying the ride. Eventually, I'll have to deal with everything.

ubergirl
05-11-2011, 09:37 PM
Uber, self doubt explains phase 1 perfectly for me. One of my most pervasive thoughts during this phase is that I'm not one of the "blessed" ones. Some people struggle with their weight throughout their whole lives and never get it right. Others do finally find their way. What is the difference between the two? Those who succeed must have something special about their personality. They must have a Lance Armstrong recessive gene that finally comes into play. And, I might not have this special thing and may never be successful! Crazy thinking, huh? Sounds crazy to me when I type it, yet these thoughts plagued me forever.

It does not sound crazy to me at all, because it sounds EXACTLY like what I always thought. I could have written that post myself. Whenever I read about or saw people with big huge weight loss success stories, I always thought that they had some magic thing that I lacked....the Lance Armstrong recessive gene-- LOL-- EXACTLY!

I've been hanging around these boards long enough to think that some people do in fact have it a bit tougher than others. Some people got fat more or less through inattention, by eating the wrong foods, but not because of any underlying psychological disorder, but others really have a PROBLEM with food-- a problem that goes way beyond just making different food choices. I'm part of the PROBLEM group.

So, it's not going to be easy all the time. But, it's not going to be hard all the time either, and this way, I don't have to be fat.

krampus
05-11-2011, 09:45 PM
I'm not an official 100-lb.-Club member, but your descriptions of the weight loss stages are brilliant and I just wanted to thank you for writing it out. I'm at Stage #5, jonesing to skip #1 and get right into #2. I think I skipped stage #3 all together though!

GoingGoingGone
05-12-2011, 12:01 AM
How accurate! I'm in stage 4 HOPEFULLY moving on to stage 5

Fit4Lyfe
05-12-2011, 12:18 AM
Oh I HAVE to put this on my blog with your permission course and with due credit!!! I am still in phase 1 and raring to go to phase 2

MrsTee
05-12-2011, 01:31 AM
I LOVED this post from Trazey - sums up my LIFE!!!

I have been to stage 4 several times, but never made it to 5, mostly pop between 1 and 3 - and can clearly remember the last time in Stage 4 when I lost 33 kilos and felt top of the world.. seems like a lifetime ago, although its only 4 years. But I lost the control I had then, and regained plus...

And agree entirely I always thought all these successful loosers, HOW do they do it? I never will...something must be weak about me...

BUt now with more weight than ever to loose, and being in my early 50s, my health NEEDS me to lose this weight - maybe that will help?
I am a closet eater too, and stopping that is a great big step forward for me. Been 12 days and counting...

shannonmb
05-12-2011, 06:03 AM
I'm loving this thread, Uber!

I am pretty firmly in stage 3 most of the time. I just keep doing what I do, weight keeps coming off. I'm not struggling with cravings, I am really enjoying cooking and eating, even having ice cream with my daughter every Friday afternoon after a long while of being afraid one cheat would derail me. I'm really starting to trust myself, really feeling confident that I can take it all the way, and really wondering why it always seemed so impossible before.

I have done some mental work along the way, really always used to think I just LOVE food too much to ever lose weight. Now I know that I have always used food in a big way to soothe my over-anxious personality. I had a really expensive plumbing emergency at the beginning of the year, and while I was waiting 3 days to find out if it was going to be $2000 or $6000, I was in a near-panic and analyzed the fact that if I ate 2 Big Macs, how a sense of calm would come over me. Fought it out without the food. Have been meditating and practicing other ways of dealing with stress.

My catalyst was definitely a rock-bottom. I could see my young (40) life flashing before my eyes, and having a 10 year old, I can't afford to die within the next 10 years because I choose to treat my body like crap -- so it was definitely time to get real. I feel a million percent better, no longer feel on death's doorstep, and very excited to get to the place where I don't feel better, I feel GOOD. REALLY GOOD!

ALL of that said, number 1 still whispers to me. All it would take for me to lose this momentum is one big event (a loss, something really rough) that leaves me saying "who gives a f#%$ right now!" I hope with all that is holy that I have done enough work on myself to combat that when (not if) I go through something like that.

Sorry this is so long! But thanks for letting me put this out! ;)

PaulaM
05-12-2011, 11:42 AM
This was an excellent post, lots to think about, thanks all for sharing "your story"

DixC Chix
05-12-2011, 03:25 PM
Great thread. Uber, you always make me think.

One is that now I'm AWARE that I'm CHOOSING to eat. Before, I always thought that I was under control of an out-of-control craving, but now, I am a lot more honest with myself, and I can see that what I'm really doing is making a series of rationalizations.

Amen, sister!! V-8 moment: Just because I log the thousands of excess calories I eat while "I choose" to be off plan, doesn't mean I am in control. I am being honest with myself about the food but I am lying to myself if I say I am in control.

For me, a lot of it has to do with how much I'm concentrating. I have to spend a lot of time thinking about weight loss in order to keep it going. I have to come here and post, and talk about it, and log my food, and weigh myself, and have it be one of my primary concerns. When there is too much else going on in my life and it starts to fade a little, it's a lot harder for me.

This is such an exhausting focus for me. I went back through my records and charts. Until now it was totally unconscious that every four months I have a week when I have a break (relapse) away from it. Its like I had to 'come up for air' and take another big breath for the next push. I have a lot of self doubt about whether I can keep it up for the long haul.

I am in relapse right now - I haven't actually relapsed, per se, but mentally I am in relapse mode. I have the f**k its pretty bad and am feeling pretty sorry for myself.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

I don't know how to fight it or to strategize a way to deal with it. Is it the super-confidence in stage 3 that leads me to ease up on the focus? Should I try not to get cocky? Or does that rouse the self-doubt beast?

SMSDREAMER2007
05-12-2011, 06:14 PM
very well put.

Nikki6kidsmom
05-13-2011, 01:14 PM
Great post Uber! And Trazey I just love your thoughts on things. I swear I wish I could find some chicks like you guys to be my girlfriends !

I am struggling as of lately. I am finding myself giving into a small pack of m&m's here and there. While that is not "OMG terrible" I am doing it without thinking too much. I am eating them in the car alone so I don't have to share or be seen .

I am kinda sad feeling like I have to settle at this weight because I haven't lost anymore in awhile. Yet I have put on about 3 pounds lately. I know I am burn out with my current exercise routine and I am revamping it. But it's scary as Sh$t because I am dropping bootcamp which I have done for 1 1/2 years atleast 3 times a week! I started when I was over 200 lbs and lacking strength. Bootcamp has gotten me so far. But for many reasons it is time to change that up.

I am leaving behind something I know and starting with things I am new to. I am dropping my membership at the smaller 24 hour gym because we joined the YMCA as a family. So I am also including my whole family in on my workout time some days. As the wife and Mom this is great for everyone but as a person who for many years put herself last this is potentially bad news if I let it be . I am determined once I hit the gym door to be selfish, while it sounds awful it's a must that I stay focused . I have looked into the classes and I am interested in Cycle circuit ,Bodypump, and bootcamp .I don't know crap about spin class so I am being chicken but I will go.

I will be taking up swimming laps to train for my triathlon.I was on swim team as a kid so I know how it's just to include all 3 things. That too is a new undertaking and kinda scary. I set this goal but don't have it all worked out which drives me nuts. I don't have a bike yet just training on the gym bike for now. I don't know anyone in real life who has done one to quiz on the ins and outs. I know I won't be able to get a real tri bike by August and learn how to ride it properly but I set the goal and have to complete it!

This is alot of rambling I know. I have to get myself back on track and focused. I know this journey will be forever for me. There will be changes that need to happen along the way even now. I am not settling for this is good enough. My friends and family like to say your a size 8 , your skinny , it's okay to live alittle, eat alittle yet giving just alittle makes me feel guilty and out of control. Even 2 days off of workout makes me feel like I will wake up the next day back in the 280's.

This is proving to be almost the hardest part of the journey for me.

I forgot to add my goal for next year is to become a personal trainer. Some days I feel like "Oh I got this!" and other days I must have lost my mind I haven't mastered this myself how can I help others? My husband totally believes in me and encourages me to follow this dream. My teenage children totally support me and tell me "Mom, you have come so far you will do awesome".
I have things set for childcare for my baby boy in the fall and my other kiddos will be in school full time. I haven't been home alone all day in 15 years! This will be my time to go for it yet I am doubting everything about myself. I have always been the defy the odds person. I believe in go big or go home.

I was a plus size teenage model.
I married at 18 by choice.
Had my first child at 19 years old.
Went on to have a total of 6 amazing children.
We live a modern day life. Including sports teams,music lessons, acting, aka BUSY life.
I lost a ton of weight on my own without a Biggest Loser ranch or paying for a weekly support group.
I see things not as a hurdle but as a challenge.

YET I AM FULL OF SELF DOUBT RIGHT NOW. Ugh This journey is full of hills and valleys. I know one thing for sure I love this site and it has helped me more than any other resource out there. I find so much insight, encouragement and inspiration on this board that I am forever grateful for opportunity to be apart of it.

timkerbelle
05-14-2011, 05:31 AM
I think these stages really sum it up quite well. I don't know how many times I've thought I had nailed it and would never go back, and then I do.
It leads to so much guilt and self doubt - I don't know about all of you, but for me it gets that little bit harder every time to get back on track, since I really have no faith that I can do it any more.

ShyHeather
05-24-2011, 06:26 PM
Thanks for sharing this. I really needed to read this. :hug:

ubergirl
05-25-2011, 07:45 AM
I think these stages really sum it up quite well. I don't know how many times I've thought I had nailed it and would never go back, and then I do.
It leads to so much guilt and self doubt - I don't know about all of you, but for me it gets that little bit harder every time to get back on track, since I really have no faith that I can do it any more.

Timkerbelle,

It used to be like that for me, but I think, maybe, finally, I'm coming to accept the fact that for me it will ALWAYS be a process. It's not journey, destination, it's just journey.

Ky30
05-25-2011, 09:44 AM
I completely agree

calluna
05-25-2011, 11:30 AM
I like this post too, uber... I could identify with each one pretty easily! I'd say I was at a 4/5 right now...the long haul does involve relapses. Some days, to my infinite surprise, I am able to say ""I made good choices today" and that is enough. It took me a long time to realize in a visceral way that it's not really the scale that we're after - it's good choice after good choice.

Rosinante
05-28-2011, 03:01 AM
Great identification of the stages!
I was at #3 for so long, despite the fact that it was 'this time' after a #4 of enormous proportions - 6 years and over 80lbs!! :eep: Honestly, I felt invincible.
I am completely unable to say where that tipped over into #4 Again, this time 4 months and 26lbs. Don't you just hate it when you hear people say, "Oh, I've had such a bad few months, I've put on 2lbs" ???? Argh.

So I'm kind of at #1 again, or maybe #1.5, because I'm trying my hardest, I honestly am.....

Very Interesting to see the stages, and how well everyone seems to fit into them!

ubergirl
05-29-2011, 07:57 PM
Great identification of the stages!
I was at #3 for so long, despite the fact that it was 'this time' after a #4 of enormous proportions - 6 years and over 80lbs!! :eep: Honestly, I felt invincible.
I am completely unable to say where that tipped over into #4 Again, this time 4 months and 26lbs. Don't you just hate it when you hear people say, "Oh, I've had such a bad few months, I've put on 2lbs" ???? Argh.

So I'm kind of at #1 again, or maybe #1.5, because I'm trying my hardest, I honestly am.....

Very Interesting to see the stages, and how well everyone seems to fit into them!

Rosinante-- you have been one of my BIGGEST inspirations! When I was firmly in invincible mode, you were checking in while you were struggling, and honestly, there were times when I felt so cocky inside that I would think "why does she even bother...?"

But, I have to tell you that when I started to struggle, thinking of you was my biggest comfort and the thing that kept me coming back over and over was thinking about you and how you persisted and never gave up.

For now, my struggle is over and it's feeling doable again. Now, I know that there will be days in the future when it's hard again.

JessLess
05-30-2011, 07:53 AM
You know, I've lost weight 3x before and now I know where I messed up. I thought it went:

Fat>Weightloss>Thin>Yay

I had no idea that maintenance was at least as important as losing, probably harder than losing, and something that would have to last forever to avoid regaining. I just never thought about it until I joined here.

Sophronia
08-17-2011, 01:28 PM
Sandi references this thread in another post, and I wanted to bump it because I think it's such an amazing group of observations.

I was in #4 so long that it became #1 for me. The only difference was that I knew somewhere that I could actually do it - now I have to convince myself that not only can I do it, but I can do it long-term.

I can't decide if I'm in #1 or #2 now. I certainly am filled with self-doubt, but it's not the same as it was before I started going down the scale again. I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to do it, but I don't feel completely powerless any longer. And, even though I lost about 100 pounds and gained it back (plus another 20 pounds), I don't feel like I'm in "relapse" mode any longer. If I can get through the next two months (through a huge transition and an incredibly busy time) and still be fighting (not even necessarily succeeding as well as I want, but still in the fight), I will feel like I am in #2, progressing to #3. Even if I skip #2 and #3 and spend a bit of time in #4, that's just part of the process, right?

getmydivaback3
10-19-2012, 02:04 PM
I DON'T KNOW HOW i FOUND THIS POST BUT IT IS DEAD ON.

famograham
10-19-2012, 03:46 PM
Dead on indeed!!
I have repeated steps 1-4 four times over the past 10 years or so, and here I sit, 16 pounds into #1 again, starring to feel good, starting to believe, but still terrified looking back at my ridiculous history.

sistah phat
10-19-2012, 05:32 PM
I'm going to pin this to my 'fridge. I'm in #3, THIS TIME. But I've been here before. It usually starts to go all to h*ll when I hit week #2 of a plateau and I dissolve into the #4 black hole. Not this time. (You all heard it here first!)

SmallSteps
10-24-2012, 06:04 PM
I am definitely in Stage 4 :(

kelly315
10-24-2012, 08:16 PM
This is great- it's exactly what I experienced. My "relapse" was a total regain (of which I am tremendously embarrassed, but now have come to terms with). I lost my confidence and drive, and stopped seeing a reason to take care of myself. This time I'm more prepared that that stage is an inevitability and it's up to me how I deal with it. Thanks for posting.

thnknthin1
01-20-2013, 04:30 PM
Wonderful post.

Radiojane
05-15-2013, 11:58 AM
Bumping because I really needed the inspiration today. I've been stalled out for months, just barely seeing movement now and it's slowed down to a crawl. It's taking everything I have to stick with it. My weight graph looks like a heart monitor reading... up down, up down, up down.... my "progress predictor" says if the next 30 days turn out like the last 30 days, I will be up one pound by June 15th.... Long haul indeed. Add it to the brand new PMS symptoms weight loss has blessed me with, and I'm a mess today.

I have to keep going though. this cannot be as good as my body gets.

the shiv
05-15-2013, 01:27 PM
You know, I've lost weight 3x before and now I know where I messed up. I thought it went:

Fat>Weightloss>Thin>Yay

I had no idea that maintenance was at least as important as losing, probably harder than losing, and something that would have to last forever to avoid regaining. I just never thought about it until I joined here.

This! I used to think it was so straightforward... And I recognise these stages well, as I spent years bouncing about between them! Unlike so many people here though, I never quite got a handle on making it to the losing weight and keeping it off stage. This time the journey's been very different... It went:

Go to counselling > work on general issues > gain self-confidence > accept I'll be overweight forever > try intuitive eating with nothing to lose (so to speak) > drop the first 20lbs easily > stall > break stall > 3 weeks of maintenance practice > incorporate a new habit > 1 week of losses > repeat

All I can do now is try to keep this up. If I lose more weight, more often, brilliant. But if all I can do is focus on NOT GAINING anything, I know that's what I need to do, as it's not the not losing weight fast enough thing that got me into this mess, it's the regains. I guess my slow as heck approach is to focus on maintenance and incorporate one healthy habit at a time, so that the losses take care of themselves. If I hit goal within the next 10 years I'll let you know how that works out ;)

merilung
05-15-2013, 08:23 PM
I seem to skip the 'mastery' stage all together - I've lost about 40 pounds now and I'm hitting my typical 40-50 pound loss mental struggle. I view 50ish pounds the same way most folks view 5 pounds - as a small, easy loss or as a gain that isn't that big of a deal. Consequently, I've lost/gained 40-50 pounds MANY times and never thought much about it. I'm eager to see at what point (if ever) I actually feel like I've done something.

punkrocksong
05-15-2013, 09:38 PM
I suppose I am in stage one right now. This is my very first attempt to seriously lose weight. I'm nearly six weeks in and I'm still struggling to understand what made me decide to do it (aside from being fat).

I worry that I won't be able to succeed unless I understand the why beyond something more than a vanity point.

I worry that if I do lose a bunch of weight only to regain it that I won't have the strength to do this again.

I worry that my now steely resolve with fade as soon as things get too hard.

I know there are psychological reasons as to why I gained this weight in the first place and I'm not really prepared to deal with just yet. Coming from a family of stoic Catholics...talking about our feelings was never our strong suit.

I hope that I can make it to the end of this intact and I've learned so much through everyone who took the time to post on this thread.

AwShucks
05-15-2013, 10:05 PM
You know, I've lost weight 3x before and now I know where I messed up. I thought it went:

Fat>Weightloss>Thin>Yay

I had no idea that maintenance was at least as important as losing, probably harder than losing, and something that would have to last forever to avoid regaining. I just never thought about it until I joined here.

This is the secret. I wish I had realized it earlier. Whether you lose 100 or 10 lbs, the key is in keeping it off. I'm on my 4th attempt at losing 100+ lbs. I've succeeded 3 times before, and relapsed every time. This time, I'm more aware -- (Older and wiser?) I've seen a counselor, and I really believe I've worked on the reasons WHY the weight loss didn't stick in the past.

It certainly helps to keep reading here and knowing that we're all in this together! :D

wannaskipandlaugh
05-15-2013, 10:50 PM
Ubergirl..... I really like this post.. Thank you for starting it and I like and understand your stages you set up. I am earmarking this one for 2 months from now to read again. as that will be 6 months for me and I want to make sure that I am still in the right stage.

Thank you

NorthernChick13
05-15-2013, 11:10 PM
It just shows how timeless this is since it has not lost its relevance over the years!!!! Scared to be on this life raft but glad to be in it with such strong, dedicated people!

Shyleia
06-25-2013, 09:09 PM
Another post I'm bookmarking. AS most people, I'm yet again at stage 1.... and as with most people, this is where I normally fall of over and over again.

Bunti
07-28-2013, 02:28 PM
Another post I'm bookmarking. AS most people, I'm yet again at stage 1.... and as with most people, this is where I normally fall of over and over again.


This.

great post