Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 05-07-2011, 12:46 PM   #1  
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Default Depression is a part of it

It was why I gained weight in the first place, and at times I will get those thoughts still and then eat something I shouldn't. I used to be very tiny, 110 pounds, I think even 105 at one point. But people made fun of me because I have an ugly face so I started to eat chocolate a lot because chocolate cheers me up. I started to gain, but I didn't care. My thoughts were, well I am ugly anyway. No one likes me because of the way I look, so why does it matter if I gain a little weight? Except it wasn't a little weight, it was a lot of weight. I let myself stay fat until I was about 20 and then I started to lose it. I am sooo close to my goal weight, but I get those thoughts at time when someone comments on my looks. So I go home and eat something I shouldn't just because I get those "Why does it matter if I am fat when I am so ugly?" I am trying to get out of that though. I think it's why I am trying to work out so much lately because I eat bad foods sometimes. I know even when I get to my goal weight, I won't be beautiful. That's not why I am losing weight though, so that's what I have to keep reminding myself. I want to wear the nice clothes I see on my friends and look good in them. I want to be comfortable in the summer, because sometimes when it's hot out I feel uncomfortable with all the fat. I love shopping for clothes, but sometimes it depresses me when I see a really nice pair of pants or something but too small. So I want to enjoy shopping again. I want to wear a bikini again in the summers. So I need to keep telling myself the advantages of being skinny, even if I don't have a pretty face. But I also know guys are attracted to the face first, and then personality. So I'm trying to accept the fact that even once I am skinny I won't get into a relationship, and then I let myself know if I were fat I'd have even a less of a chance to get in one.
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Old 05-07-2011, 01:33 PM   #2  
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Oh honey that is so awful you feel like this.
Dont let what other people say about you get you down, and I bet you are not ugly at all they where prob jealous because you where so thin.

Get back to your goal weight and style it out if not for your health then anything else, F*ck what other people think you where made this way and as long as you are a beautiful person you will be beautiful always.
And never accept that you are ugly honey because your not its not like you have 2 heads and 3 eyes on each, is it?
You will find a guy who will love you and be attracted to you, just relax and if you feel good in your self guys notice this and like it.
If your depressed and it sounds like you are honey go to your doc and see what they can do, when you start to feel better you will realize your self worth

Good luck honey and let me know how you get on, take care and remember dont let what others say get you down xxx
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Old 05-07-2011, 11:21 PM   #3  
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Marie, is so right. don't let other people tell you how to feel. I know that is easier said than done but Ashley there is no one in the world better than you. My dad told me that often and it really helps to remember. We are all created equal. If others have said something negative that is their problem NOT yours. You hang in there!
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:10 AM   #4  
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you must occupy in your life to remove the depression from your life...
You should join a community center to make your life busy..
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:26 AM   #5  
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It sounds like you were quite young when people made fun of you--maybe high school or grade school? High school kids' brains aren't finished growing, so they do all kinds of weird things. Also, at this age, the boys are particularly mean to the girls who are attractive, but are socially awkward or insecure enough to take their taunting seriously. One of the reasons you've gained weight might be because you are now afraid of attention, because you got so much negative attention.
Actual mature adults (the one's worth knowing) don't care mostly for appearances. I've seen a lot of great couples who don't look like rock stars, but are still super happy--in fact, if you look at a lot of rock star's relationships, average looking people might be a lot happier.
You can choose to lose weight regardless of how any other part of your body looks. I recently decided to lose weight, but to stop plucking my eye brows or waxing my body hair. People might think that is weird and ugly, but I say--who cares? It's my body, and looking ugly is no crime. I'm not a french poodle or a barbie doll, and I don't feel like acting like one.
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Old 05-17-2011, 07:18 PM   #6  
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I started getting made fun of when I was 12 for the way I look. I still do even though I am 24. I look more like a guy than a girl. I wasn't getting made fun of today, but it was a good example. I was waiting in line for coffee, and the lady looked at me and said: "Can I help you sir?" I hate it when that happens. It's not the first time it has happened. The worst part is, yesterday I just got my weekly eyebrow wax and everyday I straighten my hair, which is long. I work in a factory, so I was wearing baggy clothes, rather than nice ones where you can see my body, but still. There are other women in my factory that wear clothes like mine, and you can tell they are women from their faces. My face is manly. So today I ended up eating a lot of chocolate. I hate these weak moments when I turn to eating just because of my face. I always feel guilty afterwards, and then exercise... but still. I just dropped down a pants size, and I'll probably gain it back if people keep commenting on my looks. Saturday night someone told me that a guy actually has to be willing to sleep with me if I even want a one night stand. I don't want a one night stand, it was just a casual conversation and I was joking around about having one and she said that.
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Old 05-17-2011, 08:01 PM   #7  
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I have been called "sir" before. I've accidentally called other people "sir" before, too.

I have to laugh about it. Not because of the old adage "if I don't laugh, I'll cry", but rather because it's so strange how we all see each other. When I get called sir, I smile at them... like I know some sort of secret they don't.

Who on earth was the person that said that rude comment Saturday night? Hopefully someone you can completely cut out of your life.

You also said something else like "guys are attracted to a face first, then personality". Well, I have to say that's not exactly true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I met my husband online first. He had no idea what I looked like (I'm an avid online video game player). We got to know each other very well before we found out what we looked like. We're not models. I promise. Not even close. He & I were attracted to each other, that's all that matters.
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Old 05-24-2011, 03:12 AM   #8  
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Ashley,

The most beautiful people in the world are the ones who wake up in the morning and tell themselves that they are beautiful. They walk around with an air of confidence, and people pick up on it. I don't know what you look like, but it doesn't matter. Just keep your friends close, and chuck up deuces to the haters!!
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Old 05-29-2011, 09:06 PM   #9  
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I keep myself away from those who do make fun of me, but I do encounter rude people a lot. Most of the time when this happens, I am just minding my own business. I posted what I looked like in another thread because people wondered if maybe I or some of the others in that thread had Body dysmorphic disorder. I really don't think this applies to me though. This is me on a typical day, before I leave the house. I usually do wear makeup and straighten my hair more then they are in these photos. However, I can tell you make up doesn't help and straightening my hair doesn't really either.
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Old 05-29-2011, 09:24 PM   #10  
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You look like a perfectly normal woman to me!

I am a complete stranger. Never seen you before. And I definitely wouldn't mistake you for a man.

I think that a lot of times we can focus on all the wrong things, because we really are "stuck" inside ourselves.

LOL! I was checking out one of your pictures, and my husband wanders by behind my desk and asks "Who's that chick you're looking at?"

...definitely look like a woman
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Old 05-29-2011, 10:12 PM   #11  
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I'm not lying about being called sir or ugly. I feel like I need to carry a video camera on me, because anytime I've talked to people online about people being rude to me about my looks, people don't believe me. I get told it's probably my fault that they are calling me ugly because of no confidence or negativity.

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Old 05-29-2011, 10:36 PM   #12  
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I think the people around you are mentally ugly and insane.
You don't look the slightest bit ugly or masculine to me!
Get away from these horrible people!
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Old 05-29-2011, 10:57 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashley868 View Post
I'm not lying about being called sir or ugly. I feel like I need to carry a video camera on me, because anytime I've talked to people online about people being rude to me about my looks, people don't believe me. I get told it's probably my fault that they are calling me ugly because of no confidence or negativity.
I'm sure that this is happening to you. No one here is saying it isn't actually happening. And most certainly no one is saying "it's your fault".

I'm saying, and what it seems like a few others are saying, is that the people calling you ugly or sir... are wrong. They're wrong, and they're rude. But, since it's an online forum, we can't search out those people and tell them. We can only offer you the advice.

We can't control what others do, but there are things we can do to shield ourselves from those comments or to deal with them. Are you friends with the people who call you ugly or sir? Stop hanging out with them immediately. They are soul suckers, and I 100% guarantee there are people in this world who would never call you ugly and who would enjoy you for your beautiful self. Is it a stranger who mistakenly called you "sir"? Then smile politely and give them a quick correction before changing the subject. "Hah! Happens all the time It's ma'am."

Then there's how we see ourselves which must be separate from what others tell us. How do YOU see yourself? What do YOU see when you look in the mirror, and how can you improve yourself image?

It's not that confidence means no one will ever insult you or be rude to you... it's that with confidence it won't matter if they do.
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Old 05-29-2011, 11:46 PM   #14  
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It's all strangers who do it. I was just meaning from earlier though when I said people don't believe me online. A lot of the time when I vent that people say this stuff to me, people automatically reply with: "It's probably because you lack confidence and people pick up on it" but I know plenty of good-looking people who lack confidence and I don't look at them think "Oh, that person lacks confidence so they are ugly." I was probably a bit out of line with the last post, but I was thinking of a post on another site that I read today about relationships when I saw this post. One of the people told me that the reason people tell me I am ugly is because I am so negative and unconfident. I can look at a stranger on the street and not know if they are negative or confident so I don't see how complete strangers who have never met me can know that. One of my friends is a very beautiful thin girl, but thinks she is fat. So if it were true that other people think a person is fat/ugly because that person is thinking it, then automatically I would think she is fat. However, I do not think she is fat, I think she is too skinny.
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Old 05-30-2011, 12:07 AM   #15  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashley868 View Post
One of the people told me that the reason people tell me I am ugly is because I am so negative and unconfident.
The only reason why any one person tells another person that they are ugly/stupid/worthless is because the person who -says- the hurtful things is the negative one and the one without confidence.

They gain power from putting others down. In their minds they step up in the world by stepping on others.

It's pitifully immature, and the perpetrators are obviously not prone to being self-aware nor giving thought to personal evolution or they'd find a half-assed better way to deal with their own issues than going around calling other people names.
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